The World Gets Creepier

He's a Scientologist midget, she's gorgeous, but I never, ever, would have predicted this crime against nature.

Katie Holmes may have to kiss her mile-high stilettos goodbye. It looks like the former fiancée of Chris Klein has traded up -- way up -- the Hollywood food chain.

Both People and the Insider report the onetime "Dawson's Creek" cutie, 26, is dating none other than Tom Cruise, 42.

(Hey, don't look at us, we're just as surprised as you are. And that sound you hear? It's a million voices all saying "whah?" at the same time.)

Cruise's rep confirmed the hook-up to People after paparazzi caught the new power couple holding hands in Rome Wednesday night.

Holmes' spokeswoman was also refreshingly forthcoming, telling MSN Entertainment succinctly, "They are dating."

A "friend" of the toothy megastar tells the mag that he's only been dating the wholesome Midwestern-raised starlet for "a couple of weeks," but it seems she's already made an impression.

"She's a really genuine person," says the pal. "She's the real deal."

Now, when I relay this, you have to consider the source (as I already have). My ex-girlfriend, affectionately nicknamed Mudflap to describe what an absolute bimbo and spaz she was, moved to North Carolina in 2001, and claimed to have done work as an extra on Dawson's Creek. (I could link to it, but... No.) When I asked her if she'd met Katie Holmes, she told me that all of the principle stars on the show were hardcore druggies. Is it true? Who knows, who cares... But if it is (and I can't think of any motive for Mudflap to lie, as being an extra on Dawson's Creek would in no way impress me or make me at all jealous), then it sure shatters the "wholesome" and "genuine" labels.

And of course, this story is at least moderately less creepy than the news a month or two ago of Bruce Willis and Lindsey Lohan. I still want to vomit over that one.