I Should've Known
Today I arrived at my theater (that's "theatre to all you fruity types out there) class to find that the instructor had brought in [Generic University]'s resident director to lecture on directing. We got a semi-disjointed lecture about all the things that a director does.
Once she was done with that, she wanted to "get us on our feet". We were asked to give her lines of dialogue, which went as follows.
A: "What are you doing?"
B: "Whatever." (Shortened from "Whatever I want, gosh!")
A: "Are you alright?"
B: "Bite me." (I suggested this, it was originally "Bite me, doughboy!")
A: "Just asking."
B: "Sorry."
A: "Heck no."
B: "Let's go camping!"
Once the dialogue was established, she asked for two volunteers, a boy and a girl. Then, she asked for suggestions from the audience with regard to setting and plot. A boy and a girl (the beefy girl from the gymnastics team and her friend) volunteered, and they played a brother and sister in a coffee house; the sister just broke up with her boyfriend, so the director lady directed them accordingly. They ran it three or four times, with changes each time.
The second time, she couldn't get a boy and a girl, so she got two girls, and the class gave them the situation of being co-workers around the water cooler. The director lady said that the one girl was now dating the other girl's ex-boyfriend, so they acted that out three or four times, and she directed them.
Now, by the end of this, everyone got the point, but the director couldn't leave it at that. After asking for volunteers, and not getting anyone, she finally drafted me. I guess that's what I get for sitting in front. Anyway, I stood up there for a good fifteen or twenty seconds before a girl finally volunteered to do the scene with me. She wasn't entirely unattractive, but she had a stud in her nose; big turn-off. Wouldn't you know it, the director lady, in all her wisdom, chose the Fly to turn that cheesy dialogue into a romance scene.
Between that and the heat, it was just one of those days, I tell you what.
Once she was done with that, she wanted to "get us on our feet". We were asked to give her lines of dialogue, which went as follows.
A: "What are you doing?"
B: "Whatever." (Shortened from "Whatever I want, gosh!")
A: "Are you alright?"
B: "Bite me." (I suggested this, it was originally "Bite me, doughboy!")
A: "Just asking."
B: "Sorry."
A: "Heck no."
B: "Let's go camping!"
Once the dialogue was established, she asked for two volunteers, a boy and a girl. Then, she asked for suggestions from the audience with regard to setting and plot. A boy and a girl (the beefy girl from the gymnastics team and her friend) volunteered, and they played a brother and sister in a coffee house; the sister just broke up with her boyfriend, so the director lady directed them accordingly. They ran it three or four times, with changes each time.
The second time, she couldn't get a boy and a girl, so she got two girls, and the class gave them the situation of being co-workers around the water cooler. The director lady said that the one girl was now dating the other girl's ex-boyfriend, so they acted that out three or four times, and she directed them.
Now, by the end of this, everyone got the point, but the director couldn't leave it at that. After asking for volunteers, and not getting anyone, she finally drafted me. I guess that's what I get for sitting in front. Anyway, I stood up there for a good fifteen or twenty seconds before a girl finally volunteered to do the scene with me. She wasn't entirely unattractive, but she had a stud in her nose; big turn-off. Wouldn't you know it, the director lady, in all her wisdom, chose the Fly to turn that cheesy dialogue into a romance scene.
Between that and the heat, it was just one of those days, I tell you what.
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