The Night's Last Insult

I back into the driveway. I live on a street with a school, so whether I'm leaving during peak munchkin pick up hour or in the wee hours of the morning, it's just plain simpler to pull straight out, instead of trying to back out.

Tonight I came home from work, and as I was nearing my house some high school party girl in a Honda Accord, with a friend in the passenger seat, was getting ready to pull onto my street. I was going a couple of miles over the asinine limit of twenty miles per hour. It was several seconds after I passed before high school party girl pulled onto Fly Street, so she was a ways behind me.

When I back into my driveway, I have to stop in the middle of the road, then put the drive train into reverse and back in. Well, aforementioned high school party girl sees me stopping, and honks. Seeing as how she is a high school party girl in a Honda Accord, and I am backing into my own driveway, she's somehow completely closed the distance. That's right, folks, she's not only high school party girl in a Honda Accord, she's speeding high school party girl in a Honda Accord.

And the final insult? As she drives off, she gives me a disbelieving look, as if to insinuate "What is this ruggedly handsome college gentleman doing?", and proceeds to flip me off.

Flipped off in my own driveway by a high school party girl in a Honda Accord, whose inconvenience was caused by her own inability to obey the speed limit.

I hope that you folks realize that when I post stories like this from my life, that it's a case of fact being stranger and more disturbing than fiction. I can't make stories this asinine up.

It's time for a Guinness. Honestly.