David Hasselhoff Wasn't Enough

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the moral and cultural superiority of our European betters. Read on...

Germans are not legally able to reserve sun loungers using beach towels, a German lawyer has revealed.

Ralf Hoecker said extensive research had revealed there was nothing in either German or Spanish law that stopped other tourists removing towels.

His research is included in a book entitled the New Dictionary of Popular Legal Errors, published last week.

Mr Hoecker said most Germans were blissfully unaware of the English stereotype of them hogging loungers.

"Nobody knows this in Germany, that it is a stereotype. It is the same with the football rivalry," Mr Hoecker said.

Mr Hoecker has only researched German and Spanish law, the two places where British holidaymakers are most likely to encounter their Teutonic counterparts.

And yes, for those of you who are curious, I was drawn to the article by the picture of three women in bathing suits. Is this really the best thing that a German lawyer come up with to do? Figure out that there's no legal basis for reserving a beach chair with a towel?

Remember, ladies and gentlemen: while American and British troops were liberating Iraq, the Germans couldn't be bothered. They were too busy claiming lounge chairs, and then coming up with justification for playing ignorant when they're rude to British tourists. I can see it now...

"Vee didn't know vee vere being rrrood! Vee sought zere vas a legal prrecedent allowink us to claim zee chairs!"

Ahhh, Germans. After the French and the Italians, and just ahead of the Greeks, they're Europe's comedy fodder.