The Fly's Resume

Just for kicks, I'm going to actually post a highly edited version of my resume, removing any and all information that could lead one to my identity or location.

The Fly
(Contact information withheld; sorry, folks)
Intent: To obtain a position as an intelligence analyst with Raytheon IIS.

Education:

Bachelor of Science in History, June 2005, [Generic University]

Within-major focus on military history; minor in Naval Science, focusing on Amphibious Operations

13 official credit hours of Middle Eastern history/culture; 1 year Arabic language

3.14 GPA with 3.65 major GPA and 3.59 minor GPA (on a 4.0 scale)
Collegiate Activities:
- [GU] History Club 2002-2004

Vice President (2002-2003), President (2003-2004)

Developed classical literature archive CD
- [GU] Socratic Society 2002-2005

Treasurer (2002-2003), President (2003-2004), Vice President (2004-2005)

Moderated debates with up to 600 audience members in attendance
- [Independent Newspaper], 2004 to present - Columnist, Foreign Policy Correspondent
- [KGUR] FM August 2003 to June 2005 - Disc jockey and trainer/mentor
- [Naval Unit] 2000-2002

Squad Leader (2001), Public Affairs Officer (2001-2002)

Work Experience:
[Family Business], Hometown, USA (1998 to present)

Maintained grounds, buildings, fleet of four cars

Served in an assistant capacity [to licensed employees]

Managed evening office operations, including assisting clients

Served as on-site technology advisor
[English version of Family Business], [Generic English seaside town], UK (Summer 2004)

Limousine driver/pall bearer

Coffin workshop/prep room assistant

Additional Information:

Strong understanding of international politics and geography

Proficient with computers and the Internet, including basic web design

Accomplished hunter and shooting enthusiast, including 2 years on [Naval Unit] pistol team

References available upon request.

So, anybody got a job for me? The whole thing isn't Italicized, I did that to set the resume apart from the actual post without blockquoting it. I'll also be putting together a version to highlight my academic qualifications, and one to highlight my customer service qualifications, per the advice of The Wife.

Don't I totally rule? Friggin' hire me, someone!