Hammock-Loving Fly

Hank: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
Homer: Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.
Hank: Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Hank: There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There?
Homer: Mm-Hmm.
Hank: That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.
Homer: Oh, the hammock district.
Hank: That's right.

One of the many fine pieces of writing from one of my favorite episodes of The Simpsons, this exchange from You Only Move Twice is apt for posting today, because I've been shopping for hammocks.

As most of you know, Zoo Station is not home; as such, I am intent upon preventing myself from "settling down" here. I say that I'm going back to "my place", not "home", when I leave work. While I recognize the need for furniture, even with my spartan lifestyle, I have made an effort to keep my furnishings simple and mobile. With a couple of exceptions, all of my furniture is either easily transportable, expendable, or both. I currently sleep on a surplus military cot. Although it works, I've been thinking that it wouldn't hurt to supplement; since I'd rather leave my futon for sitting and for guests, I decided to search for the perfect hammock. Given my location, such a brilliant idea takes on added intricacy.

There is only one type of frequently naturally-occurring tree in the Mojave Desert, and that is the Joshua Tree. Not only do Joshua Trees occur infrequently in flat complexes, they are also wholly unsuitable for hanging hammocks. I went to Wal Mart, figuring that they would probably have hammocks with stands, as this is the desert and it's pretty much all-year-round hammock weather (minus the trees). I was incorrect: cheap hammocks, but no stands. Solution: Amazon. You can pretty much always get even the most seasonal of items from Amazon.

At first, I was looking to spend $245.34 on a hammock and stand set by Pawleys Island. However, the reviews are mixed, ranging from...

The first one arrived with obvious signs of having been shipped to someone else and returned. It was also marked "defective" and "AS-IS", as well as "Made in China."

Amazon quickly agreed to send a replacement.

The replacement was even more obviously a previously-returned hammock. I have requested a refund and am returning it also. Two strikes is enough.

... to...

The hammock was just what I expected, great hammock, good quality, arrived when it was supposed to. very satisfied

Since I tend to be very frugal, I try to make my money go as far as it can, so I've pretty much decided against buying the Pawleys Island hammock set. However, another company (that calls itself Green Eggs and Hammocks) makes an item called the Xchair. The Xchair appears to have a near-perfect reception amongst Amazon customers who have purchased it. It allegedly assembles in minutes, is very comfortable, and can be used as both a hammock chair and a standard hammock. At $129.99 (nearly half the price of the Pawley's Island combo), it appears to be a wise (and portable) investment. And the clincher? Amazon has it for $109.00 with free shipping.

Crikey, I'm tempted to order it right now, along with Assault from the Sea (one of my old Amphibious Warfare textbooks) and a couple of seasons of The Kids in the Hall!

Isaac: At best you had maybe two-thirds of the budget needed to do the job in a market that was over-saturated when you got there. If it goes down, you get up off the mat, you go to L.A. with Dan and Casey, and you try it again.
Dana: What do you do?
Isaac: Two trees and a hammock, and a stack of books this high.

I'll keep you folks posted as my hammock adventure unfolds.