Mexicans, Motorcycles, and Redneck Thievery

Big things are afoot, so I haven't had an opportunity to put together a regular post. Solution? The latest transcript from me and the Crypto King. I'm not sure if I'll be posting anything tomorrow, so if nothing else, stop back by on Wednesday.

Crypto King: there's no rule that you have to stay local when you're on vacation, you know.
The Fly: Yes, I realize that. But where would I go and what would I do?
Crypto King: you could go anywhere in the world.
Crypto King: You sound like my little brother.
The Fly: I don't have the money to go anywhere in the world.
Crypto King: it's cheaper than you think, but sure, let's go ahead and rule out the entire Asian continent.
The Fly: Well, even Europe. You're talking, minimum, probably about two grand.
The Fly: There's nothing I want to see in Canada, and really very little if anything on the East Coast. Mexico's a total joke, as is South America.
Crypto King: so saying Mexico and South America is a joke from personal experience? Where have you visited down there?
The Fly: I've been to Mexico twice. Ensenada, same place both times. I'm just saying, I'm really not interested in going to Mexico. It's in the tropics, and if I'm going to go somewhere on vacation, I'm certainly not interested in going to a Spanish-speaking country that's warmer than where I already live.
Crypto King: I hate Mexico too, but I've only ever been to Tijuana, so that's kind of expected.
The Fly: LOL
The Fly: The one thing I've considered is getting on a cruise ship.
Crypto King: I have a friend who loves to go on cruise ships. He likes it so much, he quit his job (years and years ago) to get into being a travel agent, so he could get discounts on cruise ships.
The Fly: Really? That's actually pretty funny and cool.
Crypto King: yeah, we used to give him a hard time about cruises being kind of girly, but he stuck to his guns.
Crypto King: before he got married, he used to do quite well with the ladies.
Crypto King: Anyway, there are parts of South America that are quite cold, that might be fun.
Crypto King: Or not. Whatever.
Crypto King: I think you should rent a motorcycle and drive for two straight days, camp overnight, then drive back.
The Fly: That requires motorcycle certification on my license, which would require actually learning how to ride a motorcycle (which would cost money), and a trip back to [Hometown] to get the endorsement on my license.
The Fly: I thought about going to the Outer Banks for a long weekend or something.
The Fly: Two or three days off in addition to a weekend could actually work, even if I just hung around the house.
Crypto King: I've heard the outer banks is nice, but we never bothered going.
Crypto King: okay, revise my earlier plan - I think you should steal a motorcycle. no endorsement needed.
The Fly: Wouldn't there be the slight issue of having no clue how to ride a motorcycle in the first place?
Crypto King: it can't be that hard.
Crypto King: rednecks can do it.
The Fly: I mean, I know I'm "Boy Scout", but I'm not sure that a perfectly good joyride is worth dying over.
The Fly: And your redneck line proves my point, I think.
Crypto King: I said rednecks can do it, not only rednecks can do it.
Crypto King: kind of like "rednecks can breathe, it must not be that difficult".
The Fly: No, proves my point because rednecks are constantly being maimed and killed by motorcycles.
Crypto King: right, and they're also blowing up outhouses and stuff.
Crypto King: I think somebody with some common sense could probably do anything a redneck could, without killing himself.
The Fly: I'd bet fifty dollars that if there were a study done of redneck mortality, at least one fifth of redneck deaths preceded by the words "Watch this, y'all!" involve motorcycles.
Crypto King: Is that really in question?
The Fly: If you have to ask that, my point is proved.
Crypto King: not unless you're telling me that you're no smarter than a redneck.
Crypto King: or perhaps you mean to say that you are a redneck?
The Fly: Dude, rednecks observe and participate in stock car racing, do you think I should go do that, too?
Crypto King: as I said, riding motorcycles is something that plenty of non-rednecks do as well.
Crypto King: but if it's something a redneck could do, then odds are you could do it too.
The Fly: We're not talking about riding motorcycles. We're talking about stealing motorcycles and riding them without having been properly trained. Apples and oranges.
Crypto King: not really, I was talking about the riding part.
The Fly: There is no doubt in my mind that I could ride a motorcycle, given proper training and certification beforehand. I have any number of doubts that I can ride one safely and keep my life, and I use as my measuring stick the alleged frequency of redneck motorcycle accidents.
Crypto King: nowhere did I mention that rednecks steal motorcycles.
Crypto King: I said that you should steal a motorcycle, to get around the requirement to fly home and get your license endorsed.
The Fly: So you think I should take the training, and then steal a motorcycle once I'm properly trained, solely to bypass the license endorsement requirement?
The Fly: You understand that the point of continuing this conversation for so long is solely to post it on the blog, right?
Crypto King: yeah, I was hoping to really get some good quoteworthy parts in there
The Fly: And you totally did.
Crypto King: I think I've done better.
The Fly: True, but it was good all the same.
Crypto King: well, here's hoping I do better next time.

All we are is dust in the wind, dude. Dust. Wind. Dude.