Balls of Steel

When President Bush walks, there's a loud clanking sound. Clank, clank, clank...

BRUSSELS, Belgium — President Bush scolded Russia for backsliding on democracy Monday and dined on lobster risotto and filet of beef with French President Jacques Chirac.

Three days before seeing Vladimir Putin in Slovakia, Bush admonished the Russian leader to "renew a commitment to democracy and the rule of law." Putin has raised alarms in the West by consolidating power, rolling back democratic reforms and curbing press and political freedoms.

Bush said the United States and all European countries "should place democratic reform at the heart of their dialogue with Russia." The president suggested that Moscow's entry in the World Trade Organization could hinge on whether it changes course.

Translation: "Vladimir Putin's the former head of the KGB? Well, I'm from Texas, and when people disobey the law in Texas, they get smoten and I take away their allowance and spend it on Laura. Get the picture?"

For crying out glaven, President Bush is the friggin' man.