Things I Won't Miss About College

Tonight I got an instant message from a girl I used to hang out with saying that she and a friend were headed out to one of the local watering holes. She invited me to join them, and against my better judgment, I accepted. This involved showering, putting some decent clothes on, and driving twenty minutes or so just to get back to College City. When I arrived, the following adverse conditions were present:

Excessively loud hip hop music (double threat)

Watered down Guinness

Scores of girls who I had little chance and even less desire to spend any time with

The threat of being harassed as I left by College City police

The following favorable conditions were present:

(None)

I've "been out" a mere handful of times since I hit twenty-one nearly two years ago, and every time I've been shocked that this is what I've been "missing" every weekend. Honestly, what's the point? I realize that I'll be forced to maintain at least some association with people like this during the next eight or nine years of my life, but I'm personally glad that I've been able to establish a group of mates (and their wives/girlfriends) who are better suited to a discussion of why Alexander the Greek was a hack over a pint at a civilized pub than they are to drinking eight shots and then groping brainless sororitutes on an overcrowded dance floor.

And at this particular watering hole, tonight was "foam night". Several times I was asked: "Don't you want to go dance in the foam? No? Why? Is it the foam, or is it the dancing?" Maybe both? Ya think?

There are a lot of things I'm going to miss about college life. Dealing with this caliber of unwashed miscreants, their attrocious swill, and their asinine "music" is not one of them.

Right then, I have to be at work in less than ten hours. G'night, wankers. More news tomorrow.