The Fly Waxes Philosophical

"The moment I saw you at that wedding, I knew we'd be having dinner together."

I'm not going to admit what show that's from, but it's led me to reminisce about several of the girls I've dated. For the sake of anonymity, I'll discuss one; the name has been changed to protect the insane.

I first saw Magdalena early on in our freshman year; I think we had a class or two together. I wasn't smitten or anything, but I thought she was hot. We finally had another class together, this one largely discussion-based, during the last term of her senior year, about a year ago. We frequently got into it in class; it was a philosophy class on Pacifism, Just War, and Terrorism, I'm a staunch Republican, and she's a staunch lunatic. Having unintentionally generated loads of sexual tension, I eventually told her to listen to my radio show, and played "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" by the Spin Doctors, then asked her out, right there on the air. It worked.

Magdalena and I dated for a couple of months. She's responsible for the most depressing day of my life, when I helped her move from College City up to Metropolis. Magdalena's wheels and cogs are certifiably broken, and it got tiresome, but we had a good time together, and I considered myself a somewhat stabilising influence on her. Eventually things broke off when I went to England, and we've only seen each other a few times since, and not at all since around Thanksgiving. To be honest, I'm not really complaining; things ran their course, and that's good enough for me.

Magdalena's got the distinction of being one of the few girls I've ever dated with the express knowledge that I probably wouldn't want to marry her. I tend to be somewhat rigid, in that I believe that dating is for the purpose of narrowing it down to one candidate, marrying that candidate, and then going at it like a couple of rabbits. Magdalena didn't fit the description of the future Mrs. Drosophil, but I feel like I learned a lot from our relationship. If I could handle Magdalena's insanity, I can handle just about any irrational woman. I've also had enough experience from her alone to know what to watch out for, and what grounds to disqualify on.

I believe in fate and destiny, which is to say that I believe in providence. Everything happens for a reason, and though we have free will and make our own decisions, those decisions are going to happen, no matter what happened in Minority Report. I believe that every girl that I date has an influence on how I view women. Every girl that I date helps me to refine my outlook in the search for the future Mrs. Drosophil.

More old girlfriend stories as time goes on. I don't have Lycan's experience, but I'm no slouch, and maybe I can use the stories to shock, entertain, and educate you.