All Covered With Cheese

Another great Sports Night moment:

"Let me tell you something. First of all, I'm a sports anchor, not a sportscaster. Second of all, you married a jerk. I know about Steve Cisco, everybody knows about Steve Cisco. Sister, you married a loser, and the fact that you think that that man's low-grade brand of manhood is any way indicative of my profession is beneath your obvious intelligence and class. What guys like that do to women like you makes me absolutely crazy. I knew I recognized you. Will you look at this? You're working late, I have a show to do in ten minutes just twelve stories up. There's no earthly reason why you shouldn't be having dinner with me after the show. It'd be midnight, and we'd go to a great place, and I'd ask you about your day because I genuinely do care about your day, and I'd be funny and you'd have a good time. And when I took you home at like 3am, I'd try to kiss you goodnight, and I think I'd be successful. In fact, I know it. And I can't believe none of that's ever gonna happen 'cause once there was a time you married an idiot. I gotta get back to my job, which, rest assured, I do considerably better than Steve Cisco."
- Dan Rydell

Pretty much, yeah. And later, in episode twenty...

Rebecca: "So your strategy for this is to be wonderful?"
Dan: "Yes."
Rebecca: "Listen... "
Dan: "You know why?"
Rebecca: "Why?"
Dan: "It works every time."

You know, I should really adapt more Sports Night quotes to suit situations that I'm in, and to piss off Mo-Licious and entertain April at the same time. For example...

The Fly: Hey, you know what? I think someone was flirting with me today.
[Generic Female Woman]: I'm sorry?
The Fly: Someone might've been flirting with me today.
[Generic Female Woman]: CCG?
The Fly: How did you know?
[Generic Female Woman]: CCG's always flirting with you.
The Fly: No she's not.
[Generic Female Woman]: Yes she is. [Fly looks distraught] It's okay.
The Fly: Have I been flirting back?
[Generic Female Woman]: You're kinda feeble, aren't you?
The Fly: Have I?
[Generic Female Woman]: I really don't know.
The Fly: I don't want to look foolish.
[Generic Female Woman]: Not much chance of that.
The Fly: Do I flirt badly?
[Generic Female Woman]: You flirt fine.
The Fly: Seriously.
[Generic Female Woman]: You flirt fine.
The Fly: [Generic Female Woman]...
[Generic Female Woman]: Flirt with me now.
The Fly: Flirt with you now?
[Generic Female Woman]: Yes.
The Fly: I will.
[Generic Female Woman]: Start.
The Fly: How 'ya doin'?
[Generic Female Woman]: That's good, Fly, how many years of college?
The Fly: I'm just saying "Hi". I've got more.
[Generic Female Woman]: Lay it on me.
The Fly: What's your name?
[Generic Female Woman]: Fly, I'm saying flirt with me. I'm not playing somebody else.
The Fly: You're not helping.
[Generic Female Woman]: Start again. Flirt with me.
The Fly: I'm starting... Now. What's your name?
[Generic Female Woman]: My name's [Generic Female Woman] you unbelievable moron, you've known me for years. Flirt with me. Tell me why you like me better than CCG.
The Fly: I do like you better than CCG.
[Generic Female Woman]: Tell me why.
The Fly: I don't understand.
[Generic Female Woman]: I don't think you're ever going to have sex. I gotta go.
The Fly: You're smoky.
[Generic Female Woman]: I'm sorry?
The Fly: The difference between you and CCG, you're smoky.
[Generic Female Woman]: I'm smoky?
The Fly: You're smoky. You're a lot of other things too, but you're smoky.
[Generic Female Woman]: I don't know what that means, but I like the sound of it. Tell me what it means.
The Fly: It's hard to translate.
[Generic Female Woman]: Try.
The Fly: You'll make a joke.
[Generic Female Woman]: We're flirting. That's okay.
The Fly: Are we really flirting, or ar you just pretending to be you flirting with me actually being me?
[Generic Female Woman]: You think I'm smoky?
The Fly: Classy. Impressive. Sexy. Was sexy going too far?
[Generic Female Woman]: It was fine.
The Fly: You're smoky.
[Generic Female Woman]: Thank you.

It's like running through a neighborhood park all covered with cheese.