Pillow Biter, or Jerk?

You're not going to believe this!

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah (AP) -- Friends say Lance Archibald is a tall, handsome former college basketball player and graduate of Harvard business school.

He's also still single at 31, and so they're hoping to speed things up with a billboard and Web site.

"I'm Lance, Let's go out!" reads the billboard on an interstate near Lindon, about 40 miles south of Salt Lake City.

"It kind of came out of discussions we had, that Lance is such a good guy but not married," said Morgan Lynch, CEO of LogoWorks, where Archibald is the director of marketing. "Someone threw out the idea of getting a billboard."

So why the concern over Archibald's marital status? As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, whose members typically marry in their early 20s, the 31-year-Archibald is approaching the male-equivalent of an "old maid."

Friends say they're not sure what the Brigham Young University graduate and former Mormon missionary is looking for but tease "it's taking a little longer than usual for a guy with these credentials."

So, let's review. This guy is:

A BYU graduate

A Harvard Business School graduate

A former college basketball player

A Mormon/Latter-day Saint

Thirty-one years old

Unmarried

Hmmmmmmmmm.

(For what it's worth, I'm sure that this guy is A) a very nice guy and B) straight as an arrow. It's just highly, highly abnormal for a guy with the first four qualifications to also possess the final two traits. I'm poking fun. Roll with it.)