Strange Things are Afoot at the Library

A blast from the past...

Chef: Children, three nights ago I was at the library checking out some books on kama sutra when I met the most amazing woman ever. She knew so much about so many things. She really got me thinking. We eventually came back to my place and really hit it off.
Stan: So you made sweet love to her down by the fire.
Chef: No no, we just sat there all night long and... Talked.
Stan: Talked?!
Chef: Yeah. She told me all about the powers of goddess, and how men have been oppressing women for years and viewing them as sexual objects, and I realized that I had done that myself.

I think that Mr. Garrison may have discovered what's wrong with Chef.

Kyle: Mr. Garrison, can we talk to you?
Mr. Garrison: Sure.
Stan: Normally we go to Chef with our problems, but we can't this time.
Mr. Garrison: Well children, I am your teacher. I think you'll find that my advice is just as valuable as Chef's, if not more so.
Kyle: All right. Mr. Garrison, have you ever had a friend who got a new girlfriend, and then stopped being your friend, and it pissed you off?
Mr. Garrison: Oh, the old succubus syndrome.
Stan: What's a succubus?
Mr. Garrison: A succubus is a woman sent from Hell to suck the life out of a man.
Kyle: That's it!
Stan: Yeah!
Mr. Garrison: Yeah, there's not much you can do about a succubus. Their evil power makes man blind to love.
Kyle: This is totally what's happening!
Stan: Wow, you are smart, Mr. Garrison!
Mr. Garrison: Yeah, I tell you boys, women can kill. Poontang's expensive. That's why when it comes to chicks, I just screw them and leave them. I'd say "get out of my bedroom, poontank, before you suck my life dry!"
Kyle: Thanks, Mr. Garrison.

Poor Chef. We'll miss you.