The Fly Gets More Badass

Hey, kids! It's Tuesday... All day long. On the plus side... I'm getting hired to be a Protective Security Specialist for Blackwater! Yes, THAT Blackwater! I didn't think they were even going to look at my application, but I attached the image I've provided in this post and mentioned in the "Qualifications" section of my CV that I've pulled hot British and Japanese women, which means that I could pull hot Arab and Persian women, and that was all she wrote. I'm pretty stoked. More on that as it develops.

Today's fake advert is completely inappropriate, and fake-graphic. I mean, really; so be forewarned. It advertises a classic candy product, re-tasked for a more nefarious purpose...



Today's satellite image is the dome of Saint Peter's Basilica, contained within Rome. Five years ago today, Friar Dave and I climbed to the top of that blasted thing (at the urging of April, who'd done it a year or so before). It was worth it, though, both on account of the story and on account of the pictures I took from one of the highest vantage points in Rome.

I had a funny conversation with the Crypto King yesterday. I'll share more of it as the week continues, because there were several funny exchanges. In the way of background information on this one in particular, the Crypto King is not racist against Chinese or Korean people. He's married to a Japanese woman, lived in Japan for a few years, speaks Japanese fluently, and gets frustrated when restaurants are labeled "Japanese" when they're not really Japanese. He's my expert on all things Japanese, hence our conversation that follows.

The Fly: You'd be entertained to know that I went to a Japanese steak house in town with some friends on Saturday night. It wasn't my birthday, but the chef thought it was, so they put a lei on me and put a balloon on my jacket, and they did a polaroid with a card, et cetera.
Crypto King: Is that the one across the street from [the] Mall?
Crypto King: and when the hell did you get friends?
The Fly: I started going to church. Four of the seven people I was out with were from church. I didn't know two of the other ones, and the last one is a friend of two of the people from church.
Crypto King: Ah, that makes sense.
Crypto King: How was the food? I never went to that place.
The Fly: I'm not sure if it's the one you're thinking about, it's a ways off the parkway. The food was good.
Crypto King: Name?
The Fly: Geisha
Crypto King: Seriously, who the hell thought that was a good name for a restaurant? Fucking koreans.
The Fly: *shrug* Maybe it's because they have Asian women in kimonos scurrying around delivering drinks and taking orders?
Crypto King: just like every other japanese steakhouse run by koreans or, worse, chinese?
Crypto King: Those manage not to name their restaurants "Hookers!"
The Fly: I'd never been to one, so I don't know.
The Fly: LOL
Crypto King: Might as well call it "Happy Ending Steakhouse and Massage Parlor"
The Fly: You say all of this... But wouldn't you want to eat there if it was called Happy Ending Steakhouse and Massage Parlor?
Crypto King: Yes, yes I would.

And for those of you who get your shorts in a jumble whenever I post a chat convo, it's worth pointing out that I received permission from the Crypto King. Kulish zayn!

In the news, a former liberal says that liberals are brain-dead - and it's on a British news site! Shocking.

Right then, time to get my ass ready for work. Behave yourselves... Especially you, Mighty Mo. We all know what you're really using your new laptop for.