Dating Horror Story #1
I'm inspired to start a new segment here on TSTF: horror stories from my dating years. Not that my dating years are over, so to speak; but I certainly seem to be doing just about none of it anymore, for one reason or another.
At any rate, I was a Navy ROTC midshipman my first two years of college. Our unit did two dances every year: the Navy/Marine Corps Birthday Ball, and the Spring Dance. From what I understand, the Birthday Ball is now called the Fall Dance because of the travesty that was the 2003 Birthday Ball.
At any rate, as I was arriving at the armory one day, Midshipman Beefcake asked me if I had a date for the Birthday Ball yet. It was several weeks out, so of course I hadn't. She told me about Midshipman Opie's girlfriend's friend, who was looking for a date so that she and Opie's girlfriend could hang out together at the dance. At some point during the week, she got me this girl's phone number. Her name was SuzAnne, and I was told a smattering of details about her. She was a former cheerleader, perky, fun, short; that's about it.
So I called, and she was out of her flat, so I got the machine. The opening sentence?
So I thought the obvious thought: "Oh sweet glaven, she's got a live-in boyfriend and they're setting me up with her. This isn't good." I called Opie's girlfriend, who we'll call... Ohhh, let's go with Circe in honor of Lycan. So I got Circe on the phone, who I'd not met before, and she said that it must be an old message. Okay, I can deal with that, and it's just one date, right?
I called SuzAnne that day, and talked to her, and we sort of hit it off. We agreed to meet up, her and me and Circe, the next day at her flat. I told her that Circe had explained to me about the message, and I was cool with it. The next day I called to finalize arrangements, only to learn that Circe had lied to me, and Beefcake had withheld details. Jared was SuzAnne's four year old son.
I'll spare you the details of the actual Birthday Ball, because it really wasn't that bad of a date. However, before the Birthday Ball, maybe a week prior, I went with SuzAnne, Circe, and Opie to see this travesty. During the film, SuzAnne complained several times that her hands were cold. I thought about leaving the theater to go out and get a sweatshirt for her to wrap her hands in. Apparently that was her female mind game way of saying that she wanted me to hold her hand. What an absolute joke. We left the theater when the film was over, and I offered to drive her home, but she said she'd just get a ride with Opie and Circe. Steeeeerike one.
We went on to date for about a month, not too serious. I think she tried several things to keep me around, and I had someone to hang out with every few nights, so I wasn't about to bail. Unfortunately, she went up for a weekend to see her brother at the nearest major Army base, because he needed a date for one of his fellow squaddies for the Army ball. She basically disappeared for about a week, and when she finally reappeared, she told me that she thought we should just be friends. By that point, I was fine with that, because I wasn't about to be a sophomore in college with a serious jones for a short, round girl with a four year old son. It wasn't until later that I found out that she'd bailed on me for some thirty-something year old Army gomer, who looked like he'd been exiled from Mississippi.
On a side note, there was something very interesting about SuzAnne. Not only was she a single mother, but she was half Mexican. The dividend of this status was enough scholarship money for her to actually make money on going to school. The scholarships she was on easily covered tuition, books, rent, and food, leaving her with extra money. In fact, if she'd gotten married, she'd have lost at least one of the scholarships. I, on the other hand, didn't get jack from the government or the university. Here we are, three and a half years later. SuzAnne registered for Fall Quarter of her junior year, but wound up dropping out a few days before and moving back home so that she could have some moral support, as her boyfriend was deployed to Korea. I, on the other hand, who you'll remember to have not gotten a red cent, save for a thousand dollars of meritorious scholarship money from the Navy in May of 2001, am about to graduate and become a productive member of society. So who would have been the better investment?
So the morals of this story, folks? They are as follows:
Ladies, don't try to use signals or head games with a guy. You want your hand held? Say: "Hey, Fly, hold my damned hand, you savage." Dig?
Corporate investors and universities, you should award scholarships and financial aid based on merit. If someone is a minority or a hard case, maybe they deserve some scholarship money; or maybe they're going to flake out on you and lose your investment. Take more than minority status into account.
Right then, off to the pub... Or three more hours of work and studying.
At any rate, I was a Navy ROTC midshipman my first two years of college. Our unit did two dances every year: the Navy/Marine Corps Birthday Ball, and the Spring Dance. From what I understand, the Birthday Ball is now called the Fall Dance because of the travesty that was the 2003 Birthday Ball.
At any rate, as I was arriving at the armory one day, Midshipman Beefcake asked me if I had a date for the Birthday Ball yet. It was several weeks out, so of course I hadn't. She told me about Midshipman Opie's girlfriend's friend, who was looking for a date so that she and Opie's girlfriend could hang out together at the dance. At some point during the week, she got me this girl's phone number. Her name was SuzAnne, and I was told a smattering of details about her. She was a former cheerleader, perky, fun, short; that's about it.
So I called, and she was out of her flat, so I got the machine. The opening sentence?
Hi! You've reached SuzAnne and Jared.
So I thought the obvious thought: "Oh sweet glaven, she's got a live-in boyfriend and they're setting me up with her. This isn't good." I called Opie's girlfriend, who we'll call... Ohhh, let's go with Circe in honor of Lycan. So I got Circe on the phone, who I'd not met before, and she said that it must be an old message. Okay, I can deal with that, and it's just one date, right?
I called SuzAnne that day, and talked to her, and we sort of hit it off. We agreed to meet up, her and me and Circe, the next day at her flat. I told her that Circe had explained to me about the message, and I was cool with it. The next day I called to finalize arrangements, only to learn that Circe had lied to me, and Beefcake had withheld details. Jared was SuzAnne's four year old son.
I'll spare you the details of the actual Birthday Ball, because it really wasn't that bad of a date. However, before the Birthday Ball, maybe a week prior, I went with SuzAnne, Circe, and Opie to see this travesty. During the film, SuzAnne complained several times that her hands were cold. I thought about leaving the theater to go out and get a sweatshirt for her to wrap her hands in. Apparently that was her female mind game way of saying that she wanted me to hold her hand. What an absolute joke. We left the theater when the film was over, and I offered to drive her home, but she said she'd just get a ride with Opie and Circe. Steeeeerike one.
We went on to date for about a month, not too serious. I think she tried several things to keep me around, and I had someone to hang out with every few nights, so I wasn't about to bail. Unfortunately, she went up for a weekend to see her brother at the nearest major Army base, because he needed a date for one of his fellow squaddies for the Army ball. She basically disappeared for about a week, and when she finally reappeared, she told me that she thought we should just be friends. By that point, I was fine with that, because I wasn't about to be a sophomore in college with a serious jones for a short, round girl with a four year old son. It wasn't until later that I found out that she'd bailed on me for some thirty-something year old Army gomer, who looked like he'd been exiled from Mississippi.
On a side note, there was something very interesting about SuzAnne. Not only was she a single mother, but she was half Mexican. The dividend of this status was enough scholarship money for her to actually make money on going to school. The scholarships she was on easily covered tuition, books, rent, and food, leaving her with extra money. In fact, if she'd gotten married, she'd have lost at least one of the scholarships. I, on the other hand, didn't get jack from the government or the university. Here we are, three and a half years later. SuzAnne registered for Fall Quarter of her junior year, but wound up dropping out a few days before and moving back home so that she could have some moral support, as her boyfriend was deployed to Korea. I, on the other hand, who you'll remember to have not gotten a red cent, save for a thousand dollars of meritorious scholarship money from the Navy in May of 2001, am about to graduate and become a productive member of society. So who would have been the better investment?
So the morals of this story, folks? They are as follows:
Right then, off to the pub... Or three more hours of work and studying.
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