A Posted Response
I don't generally like posting a long response in the comments section when I can do it as an actual post. The lovely and talented Manda, who is an absolute peach for buying my pull-up bar, wrote the following:
I think you're looking at it differently than I am, Manda. Obviously this girl's death (probably a foregone conclusion at this point) was unfortunate and tragic, and I can feel for her family. I can hope that her death was accidental, though the possibility of foul play seems very likely.
It's not that I think "she deserved it". No woman deserves to get raped, and no one but child molesters, rapists, and murderers (and maybe a few others) deserve to be killed by another human being.
On the other hand, people sometimes make extremely poor choices that contribute greatly to their problems, and I think anyone who's being honest with themselves has to take that into consideration. Recent high school grads don't go to Aruba to study Aruban history and visit the Oranjestad Public Library. They go to places like Aruba, or Cabo San Lucas, or Tijuana, to put more alcohol through their digestive systems in one night than I do in a month. They go to these places to listen to loud music, bump and grind against each other, and in some cases have anonymous or near-anonymous sex. These activities have consequences, and while we all hope that the most severe of these consequences is a nasty hangover, the unfortunate truth is that sometimes characters are unsavory and undeserved things happen.
As for my bias, the difference between me and the news media is that I acknowledge my bias. I subscribe to an absolute morality, I state quite frankly that I am fiscally and socially a conservative, and I don't pretend that I'm something I'm not. I don't have sex, I've never been drunk, I don't do illicit (thank you, anachronism, for the spelling correction) drugs; I could go on, but you get the idea. I think that people should follow the same moral compass that I follow; if I didn't think that, I wouldn't follow it myself. However, I can understand that I'm somewhere in the middle of the scale that runs from Puritan to Hedonist, and some people are going to be more conservative, and some more liberal, than me. I don't expect people to follow my moral compass, but I tend to comment on moral issues according to what I think is okay, not what society thinks is okay.
People's cars get stolen constantly; if someone locks their doors, alarms their car, takes the face off of their stereo, and puts their car in the garage, they eliminate many of the risk factors of car theft, and it's less likely that their car will be stolen than if they left their car unlocked out on the street with the face on their stereo, a case full of CDs on the visor and/or seat, and no car alarm. Does one situation "deserve" to have their car stolen more than the other? Of course not. Does one make it more likely? I think that you have to admit that yes, the latter situation makes it more likely.
Does anyone deserve to get cancer? Of course not. It's particularly difficult to watch a child suffer through cancer. It's somewhat less soul-wrenching when a chain smoker of thirty years contracts lung or throat cancer; neither deserve it, but once again, one party has chosen to increase their risk, and you have to acknowledge that.
This is the position I take on cases like the Natalee Holloway case. Assuming Natalee is no longer living, did she deserve to die? Did she deserve to be raped, if that happened? Of course not, on both counts. Did her actions increase her risk of meeting with unfortunate circumstances? I think that's likely, and I think it's dishonest to write that off based solely on whether or not such circumstances were deserved.
The unfortunate truth is that doing things just because we should be able to do them is a very dangerous policy. Whether you think that bad things happen by random chance, or that we're tempted by little demons with horns and pitchforks who give us bad ideas that some people choose to act upon, the forces of evil are at work in the world. When we let our guard down, the likelihood of undeserved evil happening in our lives increases.
I know I've rambled on and on and on about this, but there's one final thing I want to note. Some of you will remember January, when my grandfather was killed in a car accident. It was sudden, it was brutal, it was undeserved, and it shouldn't have happened. I have to acknowledge the truth, though: my grandfather was notorious for driving like a bat out of hell, and he didn't know the meaning of the term "seat belt". The car accident wasn't his fault, per se; a dump truck pulled out in front of him. However, if he'd been wearing his seat belt and travelling at a reasonable speed, he probably would have been at my graduation party a couple of weeks ago. Did he deserve what happened to him? No. Did his actions even directly cause the collision? No. Did his somewhat irresponsible driving drastically increase the risk of an unsurvivable collision? Yes, it did.
I see the Natalee Holloway disappearance in much the same way; if anyone can disagree with that, they're welcome to post and explain. I've said my peace, I'm willing to let you have the last word.
You keep mentioning that she was a "party girl".
Would it matter more to you if she was a pretty honor student who went missing after going to Aruba for a scholastic bowl championship?
The fact that you repeatedly mention her as a "party girl" almost makes you sound like, "The drunken slut deserved to get kidnapped. Worthless party girls."
Just saying.
I think you're looking at it differently than I am, Manda. Obviously this girl's death (probably a foregone conclusion at this point) was unfortunate and tragic, and I can feel for her family. I can hope that her death was accidental, though the possibility of foul play seems very likely.
It's not that I think "she deserved it". No woman deserves to get raped, and no one but child molesters, rapists, and murderers (and maybe a few others) deserve to be killed by another human being.
On the other hand, people sometimes make extremely poor choices that contribute greatly to their problems, and I think anyone who's being honest with themselves has to take that into consideration. Recent high school grads don't go to Aruba to study Aruban history and visit the Oranjestad Public Library. They go to places like Aruba, or Cabo San Lucas, or Tijuana, to put more alcohol through their digestive systems in one night than I do in a month. They go to these places to listen to loud music, bump and grind against each other, and in some cases have anonymous or near-anonymous sex. These activities have consequences, and while we all hope that the most severe of these consequences is a nasty hangover, the unfortunate truth is that sometimes characters are unsavory and undeserved things happen.
As for my bias, the difference between me and the news media is that I acknowledge my bias. I subscribe to an absolute morality, I state quite frankly that I am fiscally and socially a conservative, and I don't pretend that I'm something I'm not. I don't have sex, I've never been drunk, I don't do illicit (thank you, anachronism, for the spelling correction) drugs; I could go on, but you get the idea. I think that people should follow the same moral compass that I follow; if I didn't think that, I wouldn't follow it myself. However, I can understand that I'm somewhere in the middle of the scale that runs from Puritan to Hedonist, and some people are going to be more conservative, and some more liberal, than me. I don't expect people to follow my moral compass, but I tend to comment on moral issues according to what I think is okay, not what society thinks is okay.
People's cars get stolen constantly; if someone locks their doors, alarms their car, takes the face off of their stereo, and puts their car in the garage, they eliminate many of the risk factors of car theft, and it's less likely that their car will be stolen than if they left their car unlocked out on the street with the face on their stereo, a case full of CDs on the visor and/or seat, and no car alarm. Does one situation "deserve" to have their car stolen more than the other? Of course not. Does one make it more likely? I think that you have to admit that yes, the latter situation makes it more likely.
Does anyone deserve to get cancer? Of course not. It's particularly difficult to watch a child suffer through cancer. It's somewhat less soul-wrenching when a chain smoker of thirty years contracts lung or throat cancer; neither deserve it, but once again, one party has chosen to increase their risk, and you have to acknowledge that.
This is the position I take on cases like the Natalee Holloway case. Assuming Natalee is no longer living, did she deserve to die? Did she deserve to be raped, if that happened? Of course not, on both counts. Did her actions increase her risk of meeting with unfortunate circumstances? I think that's likely, and I think it's dishonest to write that off based solely on whether or not such circumstances were deserved.
The unfortunate truth is that doing things just because we should be able to do them is a very dangerous policy. Whether you think that bad things happen by random chance, or that we're tempted by little demons with horns and pitchforks who give us bad ideas that some people choose to act upon, the forces of evil are at work in the world. When we let our guard down, the likelihood of undeserved evil happening in our lives increases.
I know I've rambled on and on and on about this, but there's one final thing I want to note. Some of you will remember January, when my grandfather was killed in a car accident. It was sudden, it was brutal, it was undeserved, and it shouldn't have happened. I have to acknowledge the truth, though: my grandfather was notorious for driving like a bat out of hell, and he didn't know the meaning of the term "seat belt". The car accident wasn't his fault, per se; a dump truck pulled out in front of him. However, if he'd been wearing his seat belt and travelling at a reasonable speed, he probably would have been at my graduation party a couple of weeks ago. Did he deserve what happened to him? No. Did his actions even directly cause the collision? No. Did his somewhat irresponsible driving drastically increase the risk of an unsurvivable collision? Yes, it did.
I see the Natalee Holloway disappearance in much the same way; if anyone can disagree with that, they're welcome to post and explain. I've said my peace, I'm willing to let you have the last word.
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