Chaos in the Maple Leaf State

Canada has gone crazy.

Yesterday, the Canadian government passed a bill legalizing something that, by its very definition, doesn't exist. What's that, you ask? "Gay marriage". Since marriage is a religious institution, and has been since the beginning of time, and since the Torah, the Bible, and the Quran strongly denounce homosexuality as inconsistent with acceptable moral conduct, homosexual marriage is, by its very definition, a contradiction. That's right, folks: the Fly has become the possible police.

Am I against homosexual folks? Not specifically, though I disagree with many of the elements of their agenda, and a great deal of their conduct as an element of our society, I don't hold any grudge against homosexuals. I don't cast the first stone, and I make a concerted effort to find the plank in my own eye before I find the speck in another man's. However, if it looks like a duck, smells like a duck, eats like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck. A marriage is composed of one man and one woman. A "marriage" of two men or two women doesn't look like a marriage, smell like a marriage, eat like a marriage, or quack like a marriage: it's just plain not a marriage.

As if that wasn't enough for the Canadians to accomplish on a Wednesday at the end of June, they also decided to call the bluff of every liberal socialist wanker in America.

TORONTO — Canada's health minister threatened Wednesday to overhaul the country's regulations on exporting prescription drugs, saying Canada would no longer be a cheap "drug store for the United States."

Health Minister Ujjal Dosanjh said Canada would ban the bulk export of prescription drugs when their supplies were low at home. But he left vague how the ban would be put into place — and whether it would affect the thousands of individual purchases that take place across the U.S.-Canada border and over the Internet.

The ban is an attempt to head-off an anticipated onslaught of drug demands from Americans if legislation pending in Congress legalizes Internet and bulk import of prescription drugs from Canada.

I have to say, I don't disagree with the Canadian government on this one. Would anyone be stupid enough to base a policy for American health care not only an overworked socialist system to provide pharmaceuticals to Canadians, but on the shaky Canadian economy as well? Allow me to explain the situation.

"Dude, I have a totally sweet idea. Okay, so the Canadian government buys pharmaceuticals in bulk from American companies, right? And then, since they're subsidized, Canadians can buy them cheaper, even though they're actually paying for it with their high taxes. So what our government should do is let people buy Canadian drugs! That way, the Canadian taxpayers get to pick up the tab, while we get cheaper prescription drugs! We could base our entire health care policy on it! What could go wrong?"

Ladies and gentlemen, if you're stupid enough to believe that this plan, advocated by snake oil salesmen like John Kerry who will say whatever they have to in order to get elected, is stable enough to work, and stable enough to base American legislation and policies on, then I sure as glaven hope that you're not polluting the American political system with your uninformed vote.

The only possible way that I could justify even considering such a foolhardy plan is by reminding myself that the Canadian people enjoy their freedom and relatively comfortable lifestyle by virtue of their border with us, which means that we have to defend thme with our military by default; since this doesn't cost them a dime, isn't it fair that we should enjoy a decrease in prescription drug costs, courtesy of Canadian taxpayers? Well, folks, while this does make perfect sense, I still don't want my health care paid for by American taxpayers, which means I absolutely don't want it paid for by foreign taxpayers, particularly when it's based on the weak Canadian economy.

And speaking of the Canadians and national defense, have a look at this! (Link via Right Thinking.

HALIFAX – The navy is back down to one working submarine.

Of the four used subs Canada acquired from Britain for $891 million, Halifax’s HMCS Windsor is the only one that can go to sea. HMCS Victoria has stopped sailing from its British Columbia base and will go into an extended docking work period next month that will last almost two years.

[...]

Less than a week after an electrical fire killed one officer and ravaged the inside of HMCS Chicoutimi last October, its sister boats, Victoria and Windsor were pulled out of service.

Victoria and Windsor went back to sea recently after a naval board of inquiry delivered its final report into the accident, which claimed the life of Lieut. Chris Saunders, 32, of Halifax.

Of course, long-time readers will remember my remarks with respect to Canada and the ballistic missile defense system. If you haven't been around that long, check out this link and this link.

Ladies and gentlemen, jokes about hosers and people who say "eh" a lot aside, it's things like these that prevent Canada from being a major world power. Canada shows neither moral leadership, nor political leadership, nor military leadership, nor economic leadership. I've met a lot of Canadians, and only disliked a small handful of them; they're great folks, but the policies of the governments that they continually elect cement their position as "that second rate country just north of America", and not "that universally respected nation that occupies the northern half of North America".

Look at me; I've poked fun at Europe and Canada, all in the course of about twenty-six hours. I'm turning into quite the curmudgeon. I'll tell you what, just to bring things back to a humorous setting (that's "humourous" to you Canadians, and Poosh), here's a link to one of my favorite ("favourite"?) Kids in the Hall sketches.