The Fly's Saints

It's late, and I plan to go to bed right after Battlestar Galactica is over; I'm hating everything that's going on, so it must be a good episode. At any rate, I'm skipping out on reading and writing for the evening, which means I'll have to make up both tomorrow. I also have to head in to work tomorrow, even though it's the only day I should truly have off for two weeks. I'll do a quick news check tomorrow, but posting will probably be light. Those of you who read frequently will know that when...

Hell yes... Adama's back, baby!

... I'm going to be away for a while, I pose a question for people to answer. A few weeks before graduation, I made this post, where I said I intended to become a saint by performing three miracles.

I intended to score a date with a certain cavity-infested columnist.

I intended to finish eighty pages of writing in two weeks.

I had no clue what the third miracle was going to be.

I failed. I failed miserably. I still haven't finished all the writing, the columnist only returned one of my E-Mails, and I never even thought of a third miracle. I still want to become a saint, so I'm going to revise my goals, and make them a bit more realistic, so I'm setting the following miraculous goals to accomplish by the end of the calendar year 2005.

I want to pass the Navy SEAL Physical Fitness Test. Five hundred yard swim in 12:30, forty-two pushups in two minutes, fifty situps in two minutes, eight pullups, and a 1.5 mile run in eleven minutes and thirty seconds. I should have the pullups accomplished within about five or six weeks, the situps I could do right now, and the pushups I could probably do in a couple of weeks. The challenge will be the swim (I'm good, I'm not sure I'm that good yet) and, much moreso, the run.

I want to have a publication-worthy essay/article. This requires me to finish my overdue essays for school (none of them required for graduation, all of them required for a clear conscience and a good relationship with my professors). I have several topics that I could do some good work on, including an article on the history of ancient embalming, or the extent of Roman involvement in Ireland.

I'm not positive what the third miracle will be, but it will likely entail either reading, or linguistic study; after all, it's wise not to base a miracle on the whims of women, who are completely unpredictable. If this miracle is one of linguistics, it will probably be either reviewing two years of German textbooks, completing the second year Arabic curriculum on my own, or completing the introductory Latin curriculum on my own. If it's a literary miracle, it will probably constitute making out a list of books (I've already got a preliminary list) and committing to reading them all by the time the ball drops on 2005.

I should probably have "get a real job" on there somewhere, but there are some plans for that in the wings, and let's face it: if I don't have a real job, or at least a very solid lead, by the end of the year, no miracle is going to help me. Besides, I have a degree, the longest hair on my head is less than three quarters of an inch long, and I have military and leadership experience, as well as excellent writing and communication skills. (It's okay for me to be proud of that as long as I admit to sucking at any math that doesn't have a dollar sign attached to it.)

So, your assignment, folks? Give me three miracles that you'd want to accomplish on your way to sainthood. (Hopefully Jacob won't freak out over this one!) Post it up!