Getting Worse
If today weren't pay day, I'd probably be destroying mailboxes with a baseball bat. Ugh.
Last night I was at work from 17:00 until 20:45, the last forty-five minutes being because I don't care to do one particular task at work while I have command of the office. So, since I hadn't done it during my actual shift, that part of the evening was unpaid. That's right, folks: I don't have anything better to do than photocopy and fold for no pay on a Thursday night. Pathetic.
I came home and watched a little television, then read, then went to bed. Shortly after getting into bed, I got a text message that I didn't check until this morning, since I figured it was just the usual stuff from The Wife, calling me a dirty old man or telling me that I need to get laid or that I'm a nerd. When I finally checked it this morning, it was from the Lobster. Have a look:
Temporarily confused, and thinking that it said "I LOVE UDAY", I was then angry; not, it was not a repeat of the hilarious storyline from "Free Hat". It was a forwarded text message chain about some non-existent holiday, from someone who has repeatedly played off any hint of any interest in me. It gets worse.
I got an instant message from CCG telling me that I was cute. I thanked her, and responded that I'd not seen a recent picture of her. She sent one. Ladies, here are a couple of friendly tips. If you don't want to hook up with a guy, don't forward him a "national I LOVE U DAY" text message (honestly, who forwards text messages?), and don't send him a picture of you in a black halter dress. Cruel.
Now, I'm a clean person, and as tidy as possible, though you wouldn't know it to look at my room. My brother Twitley, who's just graduated from mechanic school in Wyoming, arrived home last night while I was at work. He wasn't home when I arrived home, but while I was watching TV (and trying to avoid seeing anyone, as I was in a sour mood last night as well) he poked his head in on me. While I was reading later, sequestered in my room, I heard him taking a shower and thought to myself, "Oh, good, I get to share a shower with Twitley for two weeks." When I went in there this morning, you'd have thought Hurricane Twitley had hit. There were towels everywhere, shoes, jeans, underwear, and the medicine cabinet was open. For crying out loud! For some reason, I think I'm going to be spending some time away from the house in the next couple of weeks.
Compound this all by the fact that I'm anxious about trying to find a job, being the only cousin on my dad's side of the family without a girlfriend (save for my uncle's step-daughter), et cetera. Bollocks. So now I'm going to get dressed and eat, head down to work, and pick up my paycheck. Then, I'm going to go on a spending spree. I can see it now, like a 1960's movie trailer...
You can leave your condolences at the beep.
*beep*
Last night I was at work from 17:00 until 20:45, the last forty-five minutes being because I don't care to do one particular task at work while I have command of the office. So, since I hadn't done it during my actual shift, that part of the evening was unpaid. That's right, folks: I don't have anything better to do than photocopy and fold for no pay on a Thursday night. Pathetic.
I came home and watched a little television, then read, then went to bed. Shortly after getting into bed, I got a text message that I didn't check until this morning, since I figured it was just the usual stuff from The Wife, calling me a dirty old man or telling me that I need to get laid or that I'm a nerd. When I finally checked it this morning, it was from the Lobster. Have a look:
(FW: TRANSF :FW) Today is national I LOVE U DAY If u get this ur loved Send this to 10 people in the next 143 min then check ur inbox
Temporarily confused, and thinking that it said "I LOVE UDAY", I was then angry; not, it was not a repeat of the hilarious storyline from "Free Hat". It was a forwarded text message chain about some non-existent holiday, from someone who has repeatedly played off any hint of any interest in me. It gets worse.
I got an instant message from CCG telling me that I was cute. I thanked her, and responded that I'd not seen a recent picture of her. She sent one. Ladies, here are a couple of friendly tips. If you don't want to hook up with a guy, don't forward him a "national I LOVE U DAY" text message (honestly, who forwards text messages?), and don't send him a picture of you in a black halter dress. Cruel.
Now, I'm a clean person, and as tidy as possible, though you wouldn't know it to look at my room. My brother Twitley, who's just graduated from mechanic school in Wyoming, arrived home last night while I was at work. He wasn't home when I arrived home, but while I was watching TV (and trying to avoid seeing anyone, as I was in a sour mood last night as well) he poked his head in on me. While I was reading later, sequestered in my room, I heard him taking a shower and thought to myself, "Oh, good, I get to share a shower with Twitley for two weeks." When I went in there this morning, you'd have thought Hurricane Twitley had hit. There were towels everywhere, shoes, jeans, underwear, and the medicine cabinet was open. For crying out loud! For some reason, I think I'm going to be spending some time away from the house in the next couple of weeks.
Compound this all by the fact that I'm anxious about trying to find a job, being the only cousin on my dad's side of the family without a girlfriend (save for my uncle's step-daughter), et cetera. Bollocks. So now I'm going to get dressed and eat, head down to work, and pick up my paycheck. Then, I'm going to go on a spending spree. I can see it now, like a 1960's movie trailer...
Watch, as Fly buys a new pair of Carhartt jeans! There will be thrills, chills, and spills as Fly buys a filing cabinet! You won't believe your eyes when Fly, the greatest nerd alive, buys a copy of How to Dismantle An Atomic Bomb to prevent frequent use damage to his deluxe copy! Watch in brilliant Technicolor as Fly purchases an embalming textbook online! Run, don't walk, to your local theater to see Desilu Studios' latest blockbuster... "Fly Gets Paid"!
You can leave your condolences at the beep.
*beep*
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