Change of Venue

I just had a long telephone conversation with F3. I asked her questions about the situation, I proposed solutions to the issues between us, and she decided that it was time for it to be completely over. So that's it. A relationship that spanned two years, and various shapes and forms, is done. It's not a happy thing, because F3 and I had a lot of great history together, and she was a lot of the things that I'm looking for in a wife; I disagree with her reasoning, and the way that she's come to her conclusions, but in the end, I'm in the same position that God is in with us all: you can't make someone love you, they have to do it willingly, because they want to.

I guess there's a strange calm about me now. This is at least some closure; I'm not up in the air, hoping that a fluid situation would change back into my favor.

So why is it a change of venue? There are several reasons. The first is that this entire situation has increased the clarity of one issue in particular: my physical location. It needs to change; I can't get a job here, or else I'll get stuck here. That means that I need to break my comfort bubble and wind up somewhere else, and I need to do it soon, because I've been going through the motions now for almost three months. It's time to get on the ball and make things happen.

The other reason? Well, my hope is that this closure will help me to move beyond the City of Profane Darkness and into the City of Glowing Shadows, the waypoint between the former and the City of Blinding Lights.