The eHarmony Debacle

Most of you have probably heard of eHarmony.com, a website designed to match singles. They allow you to take their personality profile test free of charge. I decided to do it this evening while I was sitting down at work, and once I finished with the testing, this is what it told me:

eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants to fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

So basically, I'm out of luck. I can give them credit for professional integrity, but it's still extremely frustrating that if I wanted to use it to try and find my soul mate, I'd be pretty much out of luck. On the very small bright side, it told me the following things about myself.

I will generally not act impulsively. As a result, others around me may perceive a slowness of thought or action. This results not from slow thinking, but from complete analysis of the situation before acting.

I prefer to wait until I'm sure of my ground before acting. This might mean after several visits to a new place, or after a few meetings with a new person, I will feel more open to risk or share trust.

I prefer not to seek quick personal relationships, but rather build relationships slowly. Once my relationships are formed, they tend to be lasting.

I tend to think before you act. As a result, the things I do will be purposeful and deliberate.

I function best in an environment relatively free of conflict or hostility. When tension mounts, I may become silent; and if tension continues, I may withdraw or avoid the situation altogether.

I usually communicate with others in a reserved, diplomatic and congenial fashion. I am a careful and analytic listener who will generally not offer ideas or opinions unless asked.

I may be a steadying influence because of my restrained and unassuming way. I usually wait to be asked your opinion rather than offering an opinion.

When asked about my opinions, I may not share my ideas or opinions openly with those asking. I remain rather self-contained in social situations. Some may perceive me as aloof, but it's really caution.

Because I may not call attention to my own accomplishments, I may benefit from others giving recognition to me occasionally. Constant recognition may make me feel uncomfortable.

I am skilled at being diplomatic with people in all settings.

I am optimistic and tend to make others feel good about themselves.

I am socially poised and people-oriented.

I generally take pride in being a strong community member.

I have an excellent sense of humor and tend to see humor in events spontaneously.

I tend to be an objective, careful evaluator of situations.

I am skilled at finding "win-win" solutions when conflicts arise.

I tend to set and maintain very high standards for yourself.

I tend to have very high values.

I tend to enjoy life and share that enjoyment with others.

I am usually enthusiastic about activities and planning.

Some of it's accurate, some of it's not. It bums me out that I'm apparently unmatchable through their system. I sort of thought that some of the answers I gave for their questions might make me seem surly or disagreeable, which can be the case in some situations; however, most of the people who post on here who actually know me would probably indicate that generally, I'm pretty agreeable with most people. I guess it's a mystery, but it's a mystery that will save me the forty dollar membership fee that eHarmony charges.

I guess I'll just have to go about finding a wife the old fashioned way: Internet Relay Chat.