Ruining Christmas for All

These are the lyrics to a rendition of "The Night Before Christmas" on a local radio station's Christmas CD from 1998. Enjoy.

Twas the night before Christmas and in the White House
President Clinton was sleeping not far from his spouse
A cigar box was placed on his Oval Office chair
In hopes a new intern soon would be there
When in the Lincoln Bedroom there arose such a clatter
Bill sprang from his bed to see what was the matter
When what to his wondering eyes did he spot
But a great big ol' woman, and she was totally hot
As he snuck in to watch her without making a sound
He hid by the curtains and pulled his pants down
She was dressed all in fur from her head to her foot
And he wondered, "On her, which of my moves should I put?"
She was husky and busty, with a big plump round fanny
Just the way that he liked 'em; it was uncanny
As he moved toward the beauty with his pants 'round his knees
He was all set to take her and do what he pleased
As he's done in the past, he offered her a cigar
Then she pulled off her mask to reveal she was Ken Starr
"I've got you now, Billy! I've caught you red handed!
Why must you think with your ****?" he demanded
"I've been naughty, Judge Starr. Won't you please let me go?
If you do, I'll get you a date with Janet Reno."
Ken Starr took the deal, and that night got with Janet
A more disgusting sight was never seen on this planet
And they heard Bill exclaim, as he turned out the light
"Merry Christmas, y'all! I hope you do it all night!"

If you didn't throw up, then you weren't reading close enough.