Relaxed Contemplation
It's Saturday at Zoo Station. It's been more than a month since I left for deployment, and once I was back from deployment I spent a week back in Hometown for the wedding of Gus and Saint Jen. Upon returning to Zoo Station, it was a shaky six hours of sleep before I was back to work. Last night was the first night in a long time that I wasn't accountable to be anywhere the next day, and even though I have things to do to get my flat back to a respectable state, I decided to take a break by spending my evening watching Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5 and puttering around on the computer. My expedition to Hometown gave me an opportunity to decompress; now that I'm decompressed, I'm taking my extended weekend as an opportunity to actually relax.
Given that I found a rather friendly figure in my bank account when I hit the ATM yesterday, I decided to make a friendly order to Amazon. Here's what I'll be expecting in five to nine days:
On War by Carl von Clausewitz - $26.00 (Amazon price $16.38)
The Art of War by Niccolo Machiavelli - $17.00 (Amazon price $11.56)
An Unorthodox Soldier by Lieutenant Colonel Tim Spicer, OBE - $18.00 (Amazon price $13.14)
The O Zone - Discozone - $16.98 (Amazon price $13.99)
U2 - Zoo TV Live from Sydney $32.98 (Amazon price $29.99)
Some of you who are paying amazingly close attention might be asking yourself, "Hey, didn't he already read that book by Spicer?" The answer is "Yes, but I gave my copy to a friend." Besides, my copy was less-than-pristine after having been taken out to the field and riding around with me for a while, so it's worth it to me to have a better quality copy for my bookshelf. I think that in the next few months I'll be doing some intense reading about the Falklands War. Sources will include The Battle for the Falklands by Max Hastings and Simon Jenkins, generously donated to my collection by my buddy the Desert Rat; the boo by Spicer; and The Royal Marines: From Sea Soldiers to a Special Force by Major General Julian Thompson, RM.
I'm very carefully considering that MA in military history program through Norwich University. If I started it in March of 2007 (or 2008 for that matter), the program would last for eighteen months, after which time I would have nine months to save up money before the one week culmination exercise in Vermont; only at that point would I have to start paying back the loans. I could save up a lot of money in nine months, not to mention what I could probably save up while I was actually doing the program. I'm very carefully considering my options, and looking at where I'm going in the next year or two. I'm formulating a plan, very methodically, very carefully.
Something I touched on earlier this month, and something that Father Time picked up on and discussed with me while I was back home, is that I have a sort of homeless feeling at this point in my life. Zoo Station isn't my home. Deployment didn't take me home; and at this point, it represents a noticeable fraction of the amount of time that I've been at this job. When I went home, it had an odd feeling to it as well; there have been enough changes since I left, and enough friends who had moved away from the area and on to bigger and better things right before I left, to make home seem somewhat foreign. I'm not sure quite what to make of it; but at this point, I can't help but thinking that my car payment is essentially my only tie to any given situation, and that's mobile enough. I'm not tied down by a woman, or children, or even a pet; and for now, I think that's an advantage. In the next few years, I foresee a great deal of movement; and after some recent events, I feel as if I have more freedom than I previously realized.
I've been surprised at how tolerable things have gotten at Zoo Station since I returned. When I left, the heat was severe enough that I could barely stand it; when I got back, I was greeted by cold mornings and tolerable afternoons. It's October, which means that I'll have four, maybe five good months of cold before it starts getting hot again. If one has to be stuck in the middle of the desert, there are things that are worse than a Winter alone with books, movies, and a computer. If I were a betting man, I'd bet that this will be my only Winter in the Mojave, and probably my only winter with this kind of extreme solitude, so I'm going to do my best to savor every day of it.
I committed to forty days and forty nights without alcohol, and Monday will be the last day. It's also been about that amount of time since I watched Sports Night, as I decided not to take it on deployment with me. Tuesday night, I'll break both fasts, and I'm very much looking forward to it. A note about the alcohol fast, by the way; a number of people have been confused, and asked me about it. They've pointed out that I don't drink heavily, I don't drink to get drunk, so what's the point in fasting from alcohol? The point isn't so much that I see alcohol as being destructive; I'm not trying to get myself away from it, or break some sort of habit. On the contrary, I think that alcohol is a very healthy habit in moderation. It happens to be something that I enjoy, but I've had a desire lately to make an effort to form a concrete plan for where I'm going in the next few months and years, and I decided to spend a period of time without it in order to remind me to focus on that task. I've made some good effort, and I hope to make a strong push before Tuesday rolls around.
The last couple of months have been trying for me, but I think those trials have produced some good opportunities for me. My life may be just about to fall apart again, but for the time being I feel as if things are on a positive note. I feel as if there are opportunities in front of me, should I pursue them and put out an aggressive effort. Let's face it, I'm nothig if not ambitious, but this latest season feels like an opportunity to really make that aggressive ambition a reality.
Given that I found a rather friendly figure in my bank account when I hit the ATM yesterday, I decided to make a friendly order to Amazon. Here's what I'll be expecting in five to nine days:
Some of you who are paying amazingly close attention might be asking yourself, "Hey, didn't he already read that book by Spicer?" The answer is "Yes, but I gave my copy to a friend." Besides, my copy was less-than-pristine after having been taken out to the field and riding around with me for a while, so it's worth it to me to have a better quality copy for my bookshelf. I think that in the next few months I'll be doing some intense reading about the Falklands War. Sources will include The Battle for the Falklands by Max Hastings and Simon Jenkins, generously donated to my collection by my buddy the Desert Rat; the boo by Spicer; and The Royal Marines: From Sea Soldiers to a Special Force by Major General Julian Thompson, RM.
I'm very carefully considering that MA in military history program through Norwich University. If I started it in March of 2007 (or 2008 for that matter), the program would last for eighteen months, after which time I would have nine months to save up money before the one week culmination exercise in Vermont; only at that point would I have to start paying back the loans. I could save up a lot of money in nine months, not to mention what I could probably save up while I was actually doing the program. I'm very carefully considering my options, and looking at where I'm going in the next year or two. I'm formulating a plan, very methodically, very carefully.
Something I touched on earlier this month, and something that Father Time picked up on and discussed with me while I was back home, is that I have a sort of homeless feeling at this point in my life. Zoo Station isn't my home. Deployment didn't take me home; and at this point, it represents a noticeable fraction of the amount of time that I've been at this job. When I went home, it had an odd feeling to it as well; there have been enough changes since I left, and enough friends who had moved away from the area and on to bigger and better things right before I left, to make home seem somewhat foreign. I'm not sure quite what to make of it; but at this point, I can't help but thinking that my car payment is essentially my only tie to any given situation, and that's mobile enough. I'm not tied down by a woman, or children, or even a pet; and for now, I think that's an advantage. In the next few years, I foresee a great deal of movement; and after some recent events, I feel as if I have more freedom than I previously realized.
I've been surprised at how tolerable things have gotten at Zoo Station since I returned. When I left, the heat was severe enough that I could barely stand it; when I got back, I was greeted by cold mornings and tolerable afternoons. It's October, which means that I'll have four, maybe five good months of cold before it starts getting hot again. If one has to be stuck in the middle of the desert, there are things that are worse than a Winter alone with books, movies, and a computer. If I were a betting man, I'd bet that this will be my only Winter in the Mojave, and probably my only winter with this kind of extreme solitude, so I'm going to do my best to savor every day of it.
I committed to forty days and forty nights without alcohol, and Monday will be the last day. It's also been about that amount of time since I watched Sports Night, as I decided not to take it on deployment with me. Tuesday night, I'll break both fasts, and I'm very much looking forward to it. A note about the alcohol fast, by the way; a number of people have been confused, and asked me about it. They've pointed out that I don't drink heavily, I don't drink to get drunk, so what's the point in fasting from alcohol? The point isn't so much that I see alcohol as being destructive; I'm not trying to get myself away from it, or break some sort of habit. On the contrary, I think that alcohol is a very healthy habit in moderation. It happens to be something that I enjoy, but I've had a desire lately to make an effort to form a concrete plan for where I'm going in the next few months and years, and I decided to spend a period of time without it in order to remind me to focus on that task. I've made some good effort, and I hope to make a strong push before Tuesday rolls around.
The last couple of months have been trying for me, but I think those trials have produced some good opportunities for me. My life may be just about to fall apart again, but for the time being I feel as if things are on a positive note. I feel as if there are opportunities in front of me, should I pursue them and put out an aggressive effort. Let's face it, I'm nothig if not ambitious, but this latest season feels like an opportunity to really make that aggressive ambition a reality.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home