26 December 2007

The Smell of Napalm in the Morning

Today, I present three items pertaining to Apocalypse Now, plus some fascinating reading material about how ineffective Russian tactical, operational, and strategic doctrine was as of 1994.

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When I was in college, we used to watch the scene above right before any exam from Professor Augustus, and maybe one or two from Professor Benstein. We'd study until we were too squirrely, and then before we went downstairs from our study room to the exam itself, we'd fire up my laptop and watch that scene. It was a tradition, a premature victory dance before we went and took a couple of years off of the design lifetime of our wrists.

One time, in June of 2003, one of our professors walked by the conference room as four or five of us guys were huddled around my laptop screen, carrying out this hallowed ritual. (I don't remember if I've assigned him a blog pseudonym, so we'll call him Professor Komrade since he was the Russian history guy.) He looked in the door, and announced, "Oh, good, you guys finally cracked the password to that Girls Gone Wild video." He walked away, straight-faced, and everyone in the room broke out in thunderous laughter. It continues to be one of my favorite stories from all of college.

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Following up on the previous story: when I was living at Zoo Station, I had an epiphany, and called Rampage, Big Red, and Laud to leave a new version of the venerable quote on their respective voicemails:

You smell that? You smell that!? Chili, son! Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of chili in the morning. You know, one time we had some chili? For twelve hours, and when it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of them, not one stinking bean. And the smell, you know, that chili smell? The whole hill! Smells like... Victory... Someday this barbecue's gonna end.

Needless to say, it was well-received.

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Well, my 25th December didn't go quite according to plan. I ended up doing something that I never thought I'd do, particularly on the biggest holiday in the world: I got lost in North Carolina. I have to give mad props to my uncle back home, who spent half an hour on the phone with me as I drove and he checked Mapquest for me. Honestly, it was much easier to find things in the desert than it was to find my destination in North Carolina. Of course, from now on it will be a great memory, one that I can share with my uncle - those are always outstanding.

Back in September, I posted a link I found to a Cold War era (and later) publication by the U.S. Army OpFor organizations called "Red Thrust Star", which was meant to keep folks appraised of developments in Soviet/Communist Bloc/post-Soviet Russian tactics, strategy, doctrine, and technology. One of the most fascinating items I found, and one that I referenced back in September, is a three part series on the Russian failure in Grozny, Chechnya in 1994. They're presented in part one, part two, and part three. It's interesting reading, even if you're not well versed in military science and history; and also very pertinent with respect to issues of counterinsurgency and urban combat. The Wikimapia interactive satellite map of Grozny itself can be found here.

Alright, folks, time is short. Be of good cheer on this Boxing Day, and check back for more tomorrow.

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