Love Comes Tumbling
I don't think that many people really take the time to understand love, and how it works, and what it constitutes, and why it's so amazing, and why it's so fragile. When you're in the situation that I'm in these days, I think it's common for you to reflect on such things, and I've come to some conclusions.
You'll forgive me if I say that love has a lot in common with capitalism. Why do I say this? Well, think about it. What gives a thing value? What makes it precious? Is something inherently precious? Of course not. Gold has no more inherent worth than a piece of dust blowing in the wind. Yes, some things are more useful than others, but this doesn't necessarily lend additional inherent value to these items. We value gold because for many, it's pleasing to look at. We rejoice in light, and naturally fear the dark, because we know that with light comes safety and visibility, and with dark comes the unknown, and possible danger. While a speck of dust has little use to us, the perceived beauty of a piece of gold, which reflects light and comforts us with its brilliance, is something many individuals desire.
So, where does value come in with a piece of gold, or a piece of dust? The value comes in when one considers what they are willing to dispense with in order to attain possession of an item or service. For example, paper money, or coins, have no inherent value; however, a system has been established whereby these objects, otherwise useless and worthless, represent power and possession. A piece of gold attains value among humans not because of its inherent value, but because people would rather trade their power, or time, or capacity to do or obtain something else in order to possess gold. Of course, gold is only an example; humans exchange payment, whether in cash, goods, or services, for anything from gold to sex to words. Goods, services, and even people attain material value because of their capability of doing or producing something better than others, or doing it at all.
The example that was used in my economics class in high school was B-2 Stealth Bombers, vice McDonalds Happy Meal toys. Americans have the capacity to produce pretty much anything, from toilet paper to satellites. Other nations would spend all of their time, money, and capacity attempting to build the things that Americans are able to build, or accomplish the things that Americans can accomplish; however, in order to produce many of these things, Americans must cede their capacity to produce other things. This is where out-sourcing comes in; when workers in China or Taiwan make plastic Happy Meal toys, that allows more American effort to be channeled into those endeavours that only Americans and a few others have the capacity to accomplish. Because Americans don't produce these lower-capacity goods, they can produce more B-2 Stealth Bombers, or satellites, et cetera.
This is the nature of value and markets: exchanging one thing to save us the time or effort, so that we can do something else.
So where does love tie in? This is the nature of love: sacrifice. People attain a semi-arbitrary value due to various traits: education, or physical beauty, or personality. A man persists through college and attains a degree, which increases his earning power in the job market, which allows him to provide a greater deal of security and comfort for a potential family. A woman takes excellent care of her body, keeping herself healthy and beautiful. A person performs tasks or bestows words upon others, not for personal gain, but merely for the satisfaction of helping or seeing others happy. These traits combine into a sort of calculus, whereby an ugly, selfish high school dropout with a bad attitude has an arbitrary value lower than a counterpart with a degree, good looks, and a sacrificial attitude.
Just as it functions in the job market, or the retail market, or the wholesale market, a "love" market is created. Just as two people walking into a local Target store will seek out different items (a lamp, vice a potted plant), and possibly be able to afford different items (an X-Box, vice a board game), two people seeking a companion will value different traits, different appearances, et cetera; and for one reason or another, their "earning power", which can be anything from physical, emotional, or intellectual desirability, influences both who they value, and who they find themselves to be compatible with.
The flip side of this is that when we develop a strong emotional attachment to someone, a large part of the value we place in that attachment resides in what we're giving up. People fear commitment not necessarily because they don't desire that sole person to persist and endure with, but because they realize that they are ceding opportunities, and the capacity to carry out other tasks. Just like an American worker places value on the opportunity to make a B-2 Stealth Bomber, a man places value in his lover's choice to focus her energy and affection on him.
When do I love a woman? And why do I love a woman. I love a woman for the way she makes me feel, and I love a woman for the way I want to make her feel. I love a woman because she makes herself vulnerable to me, and sacrifices her time and energy. I love a woman when she shows me that she not only values time with me, but values that time so much that she's willing to sacrifice the opportunities she might have with other guys. When a woman values me, it causes me to value her. When a woman will value me so much that she feels I'm precious without condition, in spite of my mistakes and my failings, that will cause me to treasure her for no reason, and for every reason. Love is, at least in part, the value that we assign to the things we sacrifice in order to attain and keep it.
Love is faithful; it can be relied upon. Love starts as an undeniable passion, and when it's real, it matures, until it becomes more than undeniable: it becomes the choice that two people make. Real love is an allegiance, forsaking all others, for richer for poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness and health. When love is true, it endures, and offers comfort in times of pain, stability in times of trial, and support in times of weakness.
In the way that gold is valued arbitrarily because individuals are willing to trade their power and capacity to do other things in order to attain it, love is precious because of the things that gives us, and because of the things that we sacrifice in order to give and receive it. We sacrifice our pride, and our emotional safety, and because we make ourselves vulnerable, we are rewarded with joy when love is true, and we endure pain when love is empty. Love is an investment, and because of that investment, it holds an inherent risk; but without the risk of pain, there is no potential for joy, in the same way that one can not expect great profit if they are not willing to risk a great financial loss.
And for better or worse, love comes tumbling.
You'll forgive me if I say that love has a lot in common with capitalism. Why do I say this? Well, think about it. What gives a thing value? What makes it precious? Is something inherently precious? Of course not. Gold has no more inherent worth than a piece of dust blowing in the wind. Yes, some things are more useful than others, but this doesn't necessarily lend additional inherent value to these items. We value gold because for many, it's pleasing to look at. We rejoice in light, and naturally fear the dark, because we know that with light comes safety and visibility, and with dark comes the unknown, and possible danger. While a speck of dust has little use to us, the perceived beauty of a piece of gold, which reflects light and comforts us with its brilliance, is something many individuals desire.
So, where does value come in with a piece of gold, or a piece of dust? The value comes in when one considers what they are willing to dispense with in order to attain possession of an item or service. For example, paper money, or coins, have no inherent value; however, a system has been established whereby these objects, otherwise useless and worthless, represent power and possession. A piece of gold attains value among humans not because of its inherent value, but because people would rather trade their power, or time, or capacity to do or obtain something else in order to possess gold. Of course, gold is only an example; humans exchange payment, whether in cash, goods, or services, for anything from gold to sex to words. Goods, services, and even people attain material value because of their capability of doing or producing something better than others, or doing it at all.
The example that was used in my economics class in high school was B-2 Stealth Bombers, vice McDonalds Happy Meal toys. Americans have the capacity to produce pretty much anything, from toilet paper to satellites. Other nations would spend all of their time, money, and capacity attempting to build the things that Americans are able to build, or accomplish the things that Americans can accomplish; however, in order to produce many of these things, Americans must cede their capacity to produce other things. This is where out-sourcing comes in; when workers in China or Taiwan make plastic Happy Meal toys, that allows more American effort to be channeled into those endeavours that only Americans and a few others have the capacity to accomplish. Because Americans don't produce these lower-capacity goods, they can produce more B-2 Stealth Bombers, or satellites, et cetera.
This is the nature of value and markets: exchanging one thing to save us the time or effort, so that we can do something else.
So where does love tie in? This is the nature of love: sacrifice. People attain a semi-arbitrary value due to various traits: education, or physical beauty, or personality. A man persists through college and attains a degree, which increases his earning power in the job market, which allows him to provide a greater deal of security and comfort for a potential family. A woman takes excellent care of her body, keeping herself healthy and beautiful. A person performs tasks or bestows words upon others, not for personal gain, but merely for the satisfaction of helping or seeing others happy. These traits combine into a sort of calculus, whereby an ugly, selfish high school dropout with a bad attitude has an arbitrary value lower than a counterpart with a degree, good looks, and a sacrificial attitude.
Just as it functions in the job market, or the retail market, or the wholesale market, a "love" market is created. Just as two people walking into a local Target store will seek out different items (a lamp, vice a potted plant), and possibly be able to afford different items (an X-Box, vice a board game), two people seeking a companion will value different traits, different appearances, et cetera; and for one reason or another, their "earning power", which can be anything from physical, emotional, or intellectual desirability, influences both who they value, and who they find themselves to be compatible with.
The flip side of this is that when we develop a strong emotional attachment to someone, a large part of the value we place in that attachment resides in what we're giving up. People fear commitment not necessarily because they don't desire that sole person to persist and endure with, but because they realize that they are ceding opportunities, and the capacity to carry out other tasks. Just like an American worker places value on the opportunity to make a B-2 Stealth Bomber, a man places value in his lover's choice to focus her energy and affection on him.
When do I love a woman? And why do I love a woman. I love a woman for the way she makes me feel, and I love a woman for the way I want to make her feel. I love a woman because she makes herself vulnerable to me, and sacrifices her time and energy. I love a woman when she shows me that she not only values time with me, but values that time so much that she's willing to sacrifice the opportunities she might have with other guys. When a woman values me, it causes me to value her. When a woman will value me so much that she feels I'm precious without condition, in spite of my mistakes and my failings, that will cause me to treasure her for no reason, and for every reason. Love is, at least in part, the value that we assign to the things we sacrifice in order to attain and keep it.
Love is faithful; it can be relied upon. Love starts as an undeniable passion, and when it's real, it matures, until it becomes more than undeniable: it becomes the choice that two people make. Real love is an allegiance, forsaking all others, for richer for poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness and health. When love is true, it endures, and offers comfort in times of pain, stability in times of trial, and support in times of weakness.
In the way that gold is valued arbitrarily because individuals are willing to trade their power and capacity to do other things in order to attain it, love is precious because of the things that gives us, and because of the things that we sacrifice in order to give and receive it. We sacrifice our pride, and our emotional safety, and because we make ourselves vulnerable, we are rewarded with joy when love is true, and we endure pain when love is empty. Love is an investment, and because of that investment, it holds an inherent risk; but without the risk of pain, there is no potential for joy, in the same way that one can not expect great profit if they are not willing to risk a great financial loss.
And for better or worse, love comes tumbling.
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