For a Reason
An ex-girlfriend and I always agreed while we were dating, whenever the relationship hit a bump, that all things happened for a reason. We tried not to let these bumps worry us too much because, after all, whether we stayed together or not, it all happened for a reason.
This is something I was taught by wise friends when I was about fifteen years old, and I've believed it ever since. It's sort of like the whole theory of the butterly effect; maybe something as simple as the position I'm standing in is part of God's plan. Maybe I breathe in a certain direction, or kick up a bit of dirt, and that has some effect on some other thing or person, and that somehow translates into God's will being carried out here on Earth. Of course, the latter half of that was a belief that developed later; for starters, the entirety of the belief consisted of knowing that all things happen for a reason.
I've tried not to regret much that's happened in my life; for if all things happen for a reason, that means that all of the things that I would like to regret happened for good reason as well. For example, in mid-September of 2000, staying overnight at a fraternity house, being invited to share a bed with some girl who thought I was cute, and declining it? I've tried not to regret that. Or not being on the ball with my school work earlier on in life? If I'd been a better student, I would have either been commissioned, or at least been on a training cruise during the Summer of 2004; and that certainly would have precluded me from living in England. I have come to find that whether I can consciously realize it or not, even the decisions and developments that I want to regret often lead me to where I am; and save for the heat, I rather like where I am, frustrations and all.
It's like stepping up from the Blackjack table. You could stand up, cutting your losses or being content with your winnings, and stand aside, giving your seat to a stranger. Perhaps the stranger takes those same cards you would have gotten, and turns his original stake into something massive. That could have been you, right? But maybe you wouldn't have chosen to hit when the dealer gave you an eight and a jack; maybe you would have stayed. Instead, the stranger plays a hand differently than you would have, and you're left wondering. Really, though; was it your hand? Indeed, it was not; and we can only play the hand that we ourselves have been dealt.
Sometimes you have to walk away from the table; sometimes the circumstances, or merely your own comfort level, dictate a change. For this, there should be no regrets; it's all happened for a reason. Unless you've put no effort whatsoever into life, the grass is never actually greener on the other side of the fence.
Had enough of cliches? Me, too.
So, here we all are. We may wonder at some of the decisions we've made, but it's those decisions that have gotten us where we are today. Regret solves nothing in the end; only being proactive and ambitious can move us forward. In the end, the only choice is to keep moving forward.
This is something I was taught by wise friends when I was about fifteen years old, and I've believed it ever since. It's sort of like the whole theory of the butterly effect; maybe something as simple as the position I'm standing in is part of God's plan. Maybe I breathe in a certain direction, or kick up a bit of dirt, and that has some effect on some other thing or person, and that somehow translates into God's will being carried out here on Earth. Of course, the latter half of that was a belief that developed later; for starters, the entirety of the belief consisted of knowing that all things happen for a reason.
I've tried not to regret much that's happened in my life; for if all things happen for a reason, that means that all of the things that I would like to regret happened for good reason as well. For example, in mid-September of 2000, staying overnight at a fraternity house, being invited to share a bed with some girl who thought I was cute, and declining it? I've tried not to regret that. Or not being on the ball with my school work earlier on in life? If I'd been a better student, I would have either been commissioned, or at least been on a training cruise during the Summer of 2004; and that certainly would have precluded me from living in England. I have come to find that whether I can consciously realize it or not, even the decisions and developments that I want to regret often lead me to where I am; and save for the heat, I rather like where I am, frustrations and all.
It's like stepping up from the Blackjack table. You could stand up, cutting your losses or being content with your winnings, and stand aside, giving your seat to a stranger. Perhaps the stranger takes those same cards you would have gotten, and turns his original stake into something massive. That could have been you, right? But maybe you wouldn't have chosen to hit when the dealer gave you an eight and a jack; maybe you would have stayed. Instead, the stranger plays a hand differently than you would have, and you're left wondering. Really, though; was it your hand? Indeed, it was not; and we can only play the hand that we ourselves have been dealt.
Sometimes you have to walk away from the table; sometimes the circumstances, or merely your own comfort level, dictate a change. For this, there should be no regrets; it's all happened for a reason. Unless you've put no effort whatsoever into life, the grass is never actually greener on the other side of the fence.
Had enough of cliches? Me, too.
So, here we all are. We may wonder at some of the decisions we've made, but it's those decisions that have gotten us where we are today. Regret solves nothing in the end; only being proactive and ambitious can move us forward. In the end, the only choice is to keep moving forward.
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