Seann William Scott: Lifetime Achiever?

I had a very sobering thought this evening. Dude, Where's My Car? is on FX right now, and I was thinking: you know how every year on the Academy Awards, they have some lifetime achievement award? And you know how sometimes the people are comedians? I mean, you'll see some tribute to Jerry Lewis, or Jack Lemmon, or whatever?

Someday, that's going to be Seann William Scott. That's right, ladies and gentlemen: someday, we're going to be seeing a slow motion montage of Stifler. I can see it now...

[Caption: American Pie, 1999]
"I say, why don't you guys locate your [wangs], remove the shrink wrap, and ----ing use them!"

[Caption: Road Trip, 2000]
"Well, there are these rules that guys have, an understanding as to what exactly constitutes cheating. Take your situation for example: it's not cheating. It's never cheating when you're in a different area code, not to mention a different state."

[Caption: Dude, Where's My Car?, 2000]
Ashton Kutcher: "Is it possible that we got so wasted last night that we bought a lifetime supply of pudding and then totally forgot about it?"
Seann William Scott: [opens cupboard] "I'd say it's entirely possible!"

[Caption: Evolution, 2001]
David Duchovny: "Ira Kane, head of the science department, Glen Canyon Community College."
Orlando Jones: "Harry Block, United States Geological Survey."
Seann William Scott: "Wayne Grey. I took some chemistry in high school."

Don't believe me? Just wait. An elderly Jason Biggs will present the award alongside a still-hot Mena Suvari; Alyson Hannigan will have died by then, and Tara Reid will have been out of the limelight for a good fifty years by then. (She's already doing some stupid "Being Tara Reid" type special on E!, she's at 14:59 if you ask me.)

It'll totally happen... And it'll be pretty damn shibby.