Drosophilic Theory #2

Well, a couple of days ago I posted Drosophilic Theory #1 in which I posited that Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 and Joaquin Phoenix are actually brothers. Now it's time for Drosophilic Theory #2. And what is it?

I believe that Julia Roberts, the largely talentless actress whose "good looks" don't actually exist, is a relative of Akhenaton, the deformed Egyptian pharoah who carried out the Amarna Revolution and temporarily took Egyptian religion away from worship of the corrupt pagan pantheon, and toward worship of one god, Aten. He's widely believed by historians and Egyptologists to have suffered from Marfan Syndrome, a disorder of the connective tissue that results in elongated limbs and face.

Julia Roberts has elongated limbs and an elongated, deformed face. Also, she has a massive mouth that she can't seem to keep shut. And if you're looking for bona fide deformity, you don't need to look any further than her ex-husband, Lyle Lovett. Interestingly enough, Lovett guest-starred on an episode of one of my favorite sitcoms, Dharma and Greg.

At any rate, I think that the resemblance between the deformed, unattractive Akhenaton and the deformed, unattractive Julia Roberts is more than evident by the image I've posted. At the risk of sounding like Maddox, if you disagree with me, you have a high probability of being wrong.

Comments? Thoughts? You know what to do. Oh, and for what it's worth, April (AKA "The April") thinks that Julia Roberts is beautiful, and that I'm crazy. That's what I get for presenting a serious historical theory to someone whose November highlight will be front row seats at a Clay Aiken concert.

(She's going to get back at me for that last comment, I just know it.)