Sunday Night Philosophy Featuring Maxim Photography

I'll admit up front that I bought a journal the other day, and I'm planning to write in it regularly. (Again, one of the many plans for this next chapter in my life that may or may not pan out.) However, there are a few things that I'd like to rant about, and I type much quicker than I write by hand.

I had a very profound dream last night: I got Hilary Duff pregnant. A definite undertone of the dream was a theme reminiscent of the episode of Chappelle's Show in which Dave got Oprah pregnant. It went something like this...

Dave: Hello?
Oprah: Dave, it's Oprah. I'm pregnant.
Dave: Uh... Are you sure it's mine?
Oprah: Yes, I am.
Dave: Ha! Got ya, bitch!

In reality, I wouldn't use Hilary Duff's money to hire Bruce Lee's trainer to train me to "protect Hilary and the baby", or any of the other outlandish things Dave did. My guess is that the dream was probably inspired by seeing the interview with Duff in this month's issue of Maxim (the pictorial is here, and yes, I did read the entire article in the magazine). Terribly random, of course, but somehow it's envigorating at the same time.

As I've mentioned, I'm on a new laptop, practically drunk with power stemming from a pirated wifi broadband connection. Something I ran into early Saturday morning, completely on accident, was a friend from college. I didn't recognize her at first, until the video I was watching featured her saying her name and her screen name; her name is a classic that's not often used anymore, which led me to do a double take and research further. As it turns out, this friend who I've had little or no contact with over the last couple of years has lost something like half of her body weight. When I knew her, I thought she was really cute with some decent curves; now she's a bombshell, and a bit of a YouTube celebrity. Needless to say, I was beyond shocked.

One of the things she talked about in a few of her videos was how she believes that YouTube is going to revolutionize the way that candidates address the electorate. She's convinced that people will finally have a voice and increased impact because of the influence of YouTube. I'd love to believe that this is the case, but I honestly don't. I think that the influence of the blogs in 2004 was profound for one reason and one reason only: they were the tool used to bring down the faked documents in the "Rathergate" episode. I'm a big fan of blogs, and the new media, but I don't think that YouTube is going to be the profound and revolutionary tool that changes the way candidates address their audience. These CNN/YouTube debates, in my opinion, are nothing more than the same old candidates patronizing the latest fad in yet another futile attempt to get young people to vote. Do I think it's going to work? About as well as Mtv's "Rock the Vote" campaigns have. Oh, and I'll give honorable mention to Puff Daddy's "Vote or Die" disaster, which featured Puffy with a mohawk. Brilliant.

One of the big news stories this week, for some reason, has been Lindsay Lohan's arrest for drunk driving, or possession of a narcotic, or something. As of last night, it was still being pummeled into viewers of CNN Headline News (the three or four who were left at that point; I only saw it because that's what was on at the Red Robin I was sitting at. A month ago, nobody really cared about Paris Hilton, and it was crammed down our throats for something like a week and a half. This week, it was Lindsay Lohan. I ask you, ladies and gentlemen: why can't we hear about the respectable starlets like Amanda Bynes, or Mandy Moore, or the aforementioned Hilary Duff? Celebrities getting in trouble isn't news, particularly with important stories like what's been going on in Darfur for years now, or the change in the course of the war in Iraq as a result of the troop surge, or any number of other important stories. I realize that nobody reading this blog has any power to change this unfortunate tack by the mainstream media, but the coverage these deadbeats get is really pretty aggravating.

I need to head to bed, so I'll close this up with a complimentary video: Back to School with Bill Gates, and Jon Heder as Napoleon Dynamite. I dedicate this clip to my "big sister", Mighty Mo, who has Napoleon Dynamite refrigerator magnets at her lovely home.

Stay tuned for a delayed Stuff Fly Wants list and the return of the Fly Report over the next couple of days.