31 July 2007

Fly Report: 31st July 2007

Good morning. Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig, does whatever a Spider-Pig does. Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig.

It's 54° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 89° Fahrenheit with isolated thunder storms.

The average price of oil is $76.90 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.02 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is lame. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 17. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

I know a boy called Trampoline. Y'know what I mean?

30 July 2007

Fly Report: 30th July 2007

Good morning. There will be no white flag above my door.

It's 52° Fahrenheit and mostly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 93° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $76.72 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.03 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 16. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

The secret is giving in to the beginning.

Sunday Night Philosophy Featuring Maxim Photography

I'll admit up front that I bought a journal the other day, and I'm planning to write in it regularly. (Again, one of the many plans for this next chapter in my life that may or may not pan out.) However, there are a few things that I'd like to rant about, and I type much quicker than I write by hand.

I had a very profound dream last night: I got Hilary Duff pregnant. A definite undertone of the dream was a theme reminiscent of the episode of Chappelle's Show in which Dave got Oprah pregnant. It went something like this...

Dave: Hello?
Oprah: Dave, it's Oprah. I'm pregnant.
Dave: Uh... Are you sure it's mine?
Oprah: Yes, I am.
Dave: Ha! Got ya, bitch!

In reality, I wouldn't use Hilary Duff's money to hire Bruce Lee's trainer to train me to "protect Hilary and the baby", or any of the other outlandish things Dave did. My guess is that the dream was probably inspired by seeing the interview with Duff in this month's issue of Maxim (the pictorial is here, and yes, I did read the entire article in the magazine). Terribly random, of course, but somehow it's envigorating at the same time.

As I've mentioned, I'm on a new laptop, practically drunk with power stemming from a pirated wifi broadband connection. Something I ran into early Saturday morning, completely on accident, was a friend from college. I didn't recognize her at first, until the video I was watching featured her saying her name and her screen name; her name is a classic that's not often used anymore, which led me to do a double take and research further. As it turns out, this friend who I've had little or no contact with over the last couple of years has lost something like half of her body weight. When I knew her, I thought she was really cute with some decent curves; now she's a bombshell, and a bit of a YouTube celebrity. Needless to say, I was beyond shocked.

One of the things she talked about in a few of her videos was how she believes that YouTube is going to revolutionize the way that candidates address the electorate. She's convinced that people will finally have a voice and increased impact because of the influence of YouTube. I'd love to believe that this is the case, but I honestly don't. I think that the influence of the blogs in 2004 was profound for one reason and one reason only: they were the tool used to bring down the faked documents in the "Rathergate" episode. I'm a big fan of blogs, and the new media, but I don't think that YouTube is going to be the profound and revolutionary tool that changes the way candidates address their audience. These CNN/YouTube debates, in my opinion, are nothing more than the same old candidates patronizing the latest fad in yet another futile attempt to get young people to vote. Do I think it's going to work? About as well as Mtv's "Rock the Vote" campaigns have. Oh, and I'll give honorable mention to Puff Daddy's "Vote or Die" disaster, which featured Puffy with a mohawk. Brilliant.

One of the big news stories this week, for some reason, has been Lindsay Lohan's arrest for drunk driving, or possession of a narcotic, or something. As of last night, it was still being pummeled into viewers of CNN Headline News (the three or four who were left at that point; I only saw it because that's what was on at the Red Robin I was sitting at. A month ago, nobody really cared about Paris Hilton, and it was crammed down our throats for something like a week and a half. This week, it was Lindsay Lohan. I ask you, ladies and gentlemen: why can't we hear about the respectable starlets like Amanda Bynes, or Mandy Moore, or the aforementioned Hilary Duff? Celebrities getting in trouble isn't news, particularly with important stories like what's been going on in Darfur for years now, or the change in the course of the war in Iraq as a result of the troop surge, or any number of other important stories. I realize that nobody reading this blog has any power to change this unfortunate tack by the mainstream media, but the coverage these deadbeats get is really pretty aggravating.

I need to head to bed, so I'll close this up with a complimentary video: Back to School with Bill Gates, and Jon Heder as Napoleon Dynamite. I dedicate this clip to my "big sister", Mighty Mo, who has Napoleon Dynamite refrigerator magnets at her lovely home.

Stay tuned for a delayed Stuff Fly Wants list and the return of the Fly Report over the next couple of days.

28 July 2007

Live from Van Dieman's Station

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Van Dieman's Station. The name comes from a song by U2 (surprise, surprise) about exile. I'm in a sort of self-imposed exile myself, so this was the most fitting U2-related title I could come up with to succeed Zoo Station.

My "new" Dell has arrived, and to my delight there's an unsecured wireless network somewhere in the vicinity. That means that I at least have something to do here at the new flat; until now, I've spent all of my evenings out and about. With broadband, all of my wildest dreams can come true. For example, I can catch up on about two weeks worth of news! And resume my beloved Fly Reports! Excellent!

Well, I have things I can be doing. More this weekend.

25 July 2007

Old Commonwealth: Day 7

Hey folks!

I'm still not up and running at the house yet. On Monday I was finally able to move into a one bedroom flat. The rent is a bit steeper than it was back at Zoo Station (still no name for the new place, but that should come soon), but there are a few perks that weren't available back there: a washer and drier, a dishwasher, a fireplace, just to name a few. I'm twenty-one miles from work, which is half what I drove from Zoo Station to my old job; and that was often seven days a week!

I've been on a spending rampage, ordering a laptop, buying a SanDisk mp3 player (and yes, April, buying an iPod might offer a few more features, but for me it would be selling out, just like it was when Mo bought one), and plenty of clothes for the new job. Because I'm paranoid about money, I'm not buying furniture quite yet; that may come in a few weeks, but for now my hammock chair and a stool will do. That's right: the cot got binned before I left Barstow. As for a dog, I'll be holding off for a while, but I'm still considering it very strongly; the advice of both Father Time (or is it FatherTime66?) and Mighty Mo is well taken.

The job is fine; very confusing and frustrating at the beginning, but I have high hopes that within a few weeks I'll have settled into an acceptable niche that will last for the duration. Overall, I think that it's very likely that the conditions of this position will be better than the conditions at my last job, on several levels.

Once I get the laptop up and running, and make a decision on my Internet coverage at the house, I'll be back on regularly, and post a few pictures from the last few weeks. That includes pictures from Dallas and Indiana, both of them stops on my cross-country road trip, as well as the travel details of that trip. Until then, I once again leave responsibility for posting in the able hands of Father Time.

Most excellently,
The Fly

20 July 2007

The Safe Arrival

Hey folks! For those of you who didn't know yet, I've arrived safely in Virginia. I believe I've found digs, although I won't be able to start moving my stuff in and getting set up until Monday evening. That leaves several days with pretty much nothing to do. I'm considering breaking out the X-Box and going to town playing Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter.

I still have yet to determine a name for the new place, but I'm already trying to develop some plans. Like Zoo Station, it will be fairly spartan at first, as I establish my new budget and take care of various obligations. The area is good, with a number of shops very nearby, as well as quick interstate highway access to help me get to work. It's not quite as close to the office as I would have liked, but I think that this can be overcome with early starts; after all, I've been conditioned my whole life to get up early, so why stop now?

There are a couple of things I'm planning on doing differently here than I did in the desert. For one thing, I'm considering getting a dog; maybe a puppy, but I'm also thinking about adopting a shelter dog or something. I think that it would be a good way to meet people, and I tended to spend a lot time alone back at Zoo Station that I wouldn't have minded sharing. I'm also thinking about getting a few other new things, like a new computer, broadband access (I seriously need to join the twenty-first century on that one), and an mp3 player (but not an iPod; unlike Mighty Mo, I refuse to sell out on that one). I'm also committed to dedicating a substantial amount of my time to exercise and eating better, both of which should be facilitated by the consistent schedule of my new position... And would be further facilitated by having a dog that needed walking.

So, I'm curious. As many of you know me, either personally or from the blog, what breed of dog would you recommend?

19 July 2007

19 July 2007 - Fly Transition Report #2


Just in: Fly has been sighted in Virginia after a long series of tricky (but unsuccessful) deviations from course. It has been further reported that Fly has met with a high-level agent from a low-level agency regarding employment with said agency. This group, which is attached to the Bureau of Botulism (BOB), and funded by our own Department of Disaster's Internal Agency Routinely Reporting Heinous Environmental Accidents (DIARRHEA), is reported to have a place for Fly in it's system. Whew!

Let's hope Fly returns shortly we can find out what going on in the rest of the world! My Guinness is gone so now I'm starting on scotch.

17 July 2007

The Fly Can Run But He Cannot Hide


For those of you who are confused by Fly's bizarre route to Virginia, do not despair. Father Time attached a GPS to the Flymobile and has been tracking his schizophrenic travels. Contrary to his last post, he has encountered some problems along the way.

Note carefully the small green trees on the map. Each tree is a location where a "friend" has refused to let Fly enter his/her house. The single black dot near the center is a half-way house for recovering liberals, and by law, cannot refuse anyone overnight accommodations. The other two dots (on the right) are animal shelters that refused Fly's pleas for a meal and some straw.

Hoosier Fly

Hey folks! Contrary to my cowboy aspirations, as noted by Father Time, I have made it to the Hoosier State, Indiana. I'm staying with Joel and Chris, two friends of mine from [Generic State University]. Joel is now a graduate student in the History and Philosophy of Science at Indiana University in Bloomington (which also happens to be the alma mater of former TSTF denizen F3), so once I was up and running today I was treated to a walking tour (in fifty percent humidity) of the IU campus.

I've been very excited to see several friends along the course of my journey. As I mentioned previously, I stayed Sunday night with Longhorn Mike and Mighty Mo, and saw Slowdrown/CCE (pictured). I'm really blessed to have such great friends who will take me in when I come into their area of operations.

The plan at this point is to arrive in Suffolk on Wednesday evening, search out a place to live on Thursday and Friday, move my stuff from my truck to the new digs on Saturday, and maybe purchase some furniture on Sunday. I'm in fairly good financial shape, so I should be able to afford to drop some serious cash on a few necessities. The single piece of furniture that accompanied me on the road trip is my Green Eggs and Hammocks Hammock Chair. I'll probably wait on buying a bed, but I've already decided that I will treat this domicile in a much less temporary manner than I did with Zoo Station in Barstow.

Thus far, the Escape from the Mojave Tour has taken me through nine states (California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois, and Indiana) with three more to go (Kentucky, West Virginia, and Virginia) before I reach my final destination.

Cowboy Fly

So...The Fly is in Texas. If he stays true to course, his next dispatch will chronicle his debut as a rodeo competitor. (Insider scoop - many times Fly has confided to me - over Guinness - his fantasy of riding a bull, wearing it down with his superior "bull" intelligence, and forcing the poor animal to vote Republican.)

His next post should be awesome!

16 July 2007

Halfway Through

Hey folks! It's your most excellent host, The Fly, and I'm here at the home of Mighty Mo and Longhorn Mike with a trip update.

On Saturday, which was my actual day of departure (packing was more of a pain in the ass than I had anticipated), I drove through both Arizona and New Mexico, finally making it to Amarillo, Texas at about 23:00. It was quickly apparent that the entire city was booked solid: Jehovah's Witnesses had snagged every available room. I had two options at that point: sleep in my car, or keep driving. Since I wasn't that tired yet, I kept going and finally found the last vacancy, a smoking room, at the Travelodge in Memphis, Texas. The next day (yesterday, Sunday, 15th July) I drove the four and a half remaining hours to get to Mike and Mo's place in a suburb of Dallas.

Once I was in Dallas, we left immediately for the Dallas Museum of Art, where they were having an exhibit on an excavated villa that was destroyed by Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD. The highlight for me was when I, much to the chagrin of Mo, ended up talking to a gentleman in the exhibit's store about books by Edward S. Gibbon and Plutarch. Once I had peeled away, he actually came back up to me to discuss a Plutarch book with me; score one for the Fly's ego.

The rest of the night was filled with a fried chicken dinner, and then a couple of hours of good conversation with my most excellent friend CCE. From there, it was back to la Maison de Mike et Mo for Guinness and Mapquest. And here I sit.

I'm off to Bloomington, Indiana today to meet up with friends from college, and then I should make Suffolk by the end of the day (which is to say, midnight) on Tuesday... Or Wednesday. Stay tuned for more posts from both myself and Father Time!

14 July 2007

14 July 2007 - Fly Transition Report #1

Light at the end of the tunnel

One of the things this blog has been missing is some good juicy Hollywood-style gossip. With the proprietor's permission, this will change effective immediately. Father Time will reach out to his vast reservoir of media connections and dig out dirt on the latest current events.

Scoop #1:
An exclusive report from Fly's landlord in Barstow indicated Fly's vacated flat was in fairly decent shape except for the following:
1. Bedroom Closet - two pair of shoes in boxes labeled, "Exclusively Designed For Paris Hilton only."
2. Fridge - One partially full vile of Botox.
3. Bathroom Medicine Cabinet - CENSORED!
4. Kitchen Cupboard - An empty box of Chocolate Covered Sugar Bombs.


Conclusion
Fly may have lived in the Mojave but clearly he knew how to live!

Stay tuned.

12 July 2007

The Inmates Are In Control Of The Asylum

To wile away (alternative def: A stratagem or trick intended to deceive or ensnare) the time while Fly journeys to his new top-secret assignment in Virginia, don't you think its time to change the political, spiritual, and philosophical direction of TSTF?

All in favor say "Aye!"

Escape from the Mojave Tour

Assuming I can get all of this stuff packed up, and run a couple of errands, I'm leaving today for Virginia on the Fly's Escape from the Mojave Tour. I have audio books, I'll have snacks and drinks before I leave, and of course, a camera to document the entire run.

The operational plan requires at least a few hours of driving tonight, a hard day of driving tomorrow, a couple of days in Texas to recouperate with my good friends Mighty Mo and her husband Longhorn Mike.

The plan is to get set up in Suffolk by the end of next week. In the interim, Father Time will be in charge, and I'll try to update as I'm able.

Fly Report: 12th July 2007

Good morning. Yes! That stuff that was in that vial didn't come from you, it came from someone else. I thought you children took turns rapin' and then murdered the teacher!

It's 55° Fahrenheit and mostly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 83° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $74.72 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.03 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 14. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

And you give yourself away.

11 July 2007

Fly Report: 11th July 2007

Good morning. If Al Gore required a crown, or had to get a root canal, would that be an "Inconvenient Tooth"?

It's 54° Fahrenheit with light drizzle in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 28° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $73.97 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.02 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is lame. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 13; I swear I'll actually read it today. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

You, I waited for you.

10 July 2007

Tuesday Morning Fly News

A couple of pieces of news, very quickly; time is short this morning.

Item number one: I learned Sunday that one of my best friends from college, Furious D, is moving with his family to Virginia Beach. That's just spitting distance from Suffolk. This guy, who I've only physically seen on one occasion since July of 2004, is going to be in close proximity, and I'm completely stoked.

Item number two: I'm getting my first helicopter ride this morning. The girl at operations control found out that I hadn't had one (and it's in my job description), and promptly scheduled me for the flight this morning. Again, I'm completely stoked.

More later. Keep it real, folks.

Fly Report: 10th July 2007

Good morning. Sobe a hero.

It's 54° Fahrenheit and light rain in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 78° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $73.70 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.02 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 13. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

I'm starting a landslide in my ego.

09 July 2007

Fly Report: 09th July 2007

Good morning. You think I'm only here to witness the remains of love exhumed.

It's 63° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 86° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $74.13 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.01 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 13. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

I have promised, oh to be with you tonight, and for the time that will come.

06 July 2007

Fly Report: 06th July 2007

Good morning. I'm not a miner, dumbass! Do you see a shovel in my hand?

It's 59° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 94° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $75.11 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.01 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 12. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

So hold on, and hold on tightly.

05 July 2007

Today is Super Fly Day

First, news from the world; then, news from me.

* * *

Several recent stories, like the United Kingdom bomb plot and the release of BBC reporter Alan Johnston, have been covered to death. I have nothing to add to the Johnston story. As for the London bomb plot, I just want to make sure that you folks know that it was apparently being carried out primarily by Middle Eastern doctors, and there was allegedly a cryptic warning passed from an al Qaeda operative to an Anglican vicar several months ago regarding the attacks.

There's been a shake-up in SOCOM. The article's worth a read.

The Russian military has tested a new submarine-launched ballistic missile. There's more information on the missile itself at Global Security and Wikipedia. The missile is slated to be incorporated in the next-generation Russian ballistic missile submarines, which are currently under development.

American officials have linked an attack in Karbala to the Lebanese terrorist group Hezbollah (AP, BBC). The revelation follows the capture of Ali Moussa Dakdouk, a leading Hezbollah operative, in southern Iraq in March.

In yet another demonstration of how journalistic spin works, I present two articles on the same topic. The normally-liberal Associated Press renders the headline, Aussie PM: We're Not in Iraq for Oil. And the BBC? As the top story on their Asia section page, the headline reads: Australia "has Iraq oil interest".

Algerian security forces have captured the suspected chief treasurer of the Salafist Group for Call and Combat/al Qaeda in the Maghreb.

And finally, a South Korean ship has disappeared in Somali waters, though there is no confirmation yet that the ship was seized... By Somali pirates!

* * *

The exodus from Zoo Station is in the operational planning stages. A brief blip last week raised questions as to whether or not the Virginia move was actually going to happen. The question then became: if it falls through, what do I do instead? After some consultation with my wise adopted sister, Mighty Mo, I was seriously considering the possibility of resuming my old temporary gig in the United Kingdom. Although the situation I left in September of 2004 has dramatically changed in the last three years, I still harbor a sort of idealistic wish to take six months out of my life and relive that experience. When I started seriously considering the move to Virginia a couple of weeks ago, one of the things that came up was the fact that with this move, my last opportunity to go to the United Kingdom for an extended period of time would probably disappear.

This, of course, got me to reminiscing. One of the things that has always struck me as odd is how silly the claim of olfactory stimulation tying into memory is, at least for me. When I smell something, I don't usually remember anything other than having smelled or tasted that thing previously. What really jogs my memory is sounds, and particularly music.

For example, when I was in the United Kingdom a few years ago, one of the locations at the company where I worked had the radio on all the time. The explosion of YouTube has allowed me to use the video site in much the same way frugal folks like me used to use Napster. In the last few days, I've looked up several of the songs that remind me most of my time overseas.

There is, for example, Natasha Bedingfield. She's apparently had limited success over here in the States; enough so that there are a couple of her songs at the bar I sometimes frequent with a few of my co-workers. Only once since I returned from the United Kingdom have I heard the song that was playing almost non-stop in Sussex that Summer, "These Words". Apparently there are two different videos for the song (1, 2). I tried to find the album at two different stores last night, to no avail; that most likely means another Amazon order for yours truly.

Another female artist whose single "Sick and Tired" was playing constantly was Anastacia, an American artist who's huge in Europe and Asia. I was shocked and dismayed to find that not only did her first two albums receive a lackluster welcome in the States, but the third album (the one that carried the aforementioned single) wasn't even released in the United States. It's available on Amazon as an import for about twenty-four bucks.

I know that The Darkness got a little bit of air play while I was gone, but not for the song that got me to buy their album before I left the United Kingdom. What's that song? "Love is Only a Feeling". This song usually reminds me of the infamous Mirror, who first introduced me to it. It's still a good song, and better since I've found closure on that entire issue. Their other big song, titled "I Believe in a Thing Called Love", reminds me of a hostel in Aberdeen, Scotland, where I got stuck for a night when I arrived in the city only to find out that the Northlink Ferry to Orkney didn't run until the following afternoon; had it run when I'd gotten there, I would have never experienced Aberdeen, which altered my entire two week holiday. The odd thing is that I remember listening to the latter song on the radio from my bed at that hostel (hence the memory), but I honestly don't remember which radio I would have taken with me.

The next song that comes to mind are Laura by the Scissor Sisters, which is remarkable only for two reasons: first, it was another group/song introduced to me by The Mirror, and it's the only group/song I saw any reference to once I'd gotten back to the States. The final song (that fits in this genre, at least) was "Bedshaped" by Keane. I was a little bit surprised (though I shouldn't have been) to learn that Slow Drown/CCE and his wife were Keane fans when I visited them in Dallas a year and a half ago. Of course, I haven't once heard "Bedshaped", aside from on the album itself.

For the life of me, I can't think of a single scent or aroma that reminds me of the United Kingdom. Not a one. The only thing I can think of is that the scientists who claimed a link between smell and memory must be the same ones who are positive that global warming is catastrophic, and being caused by humans. And what does that remind me of? You guessed it: Manbearpig, which I saw on my second deployment. Sense of humor: one; sense of smell: zilch.

* * *

Today is my twenty-fifth birthday. I've taken the day off from work, and so far I've done little more than sit around the house, receive calls from my parents and brother, and watched episodes of season seven of South Park. I have to pay rent today (or else it's late), and beyond that I'm not sure what I'll get accomplished.

It's pretty crazy to think that in about two weeks, I'll be in Virginia. I'm both anxious and excited at the same time; I suppose that's probably the most reasonable mix of emotions for this particular situation.

Have a great day, folks!

Fly Report: 05th July 2007

Good morning. Yesterday, we celebrated two hundred twenty-three years of America. Today, we celebrate twenty-five years of Fly!

It's 61° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 89° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

The average price of oil is $72.74 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.02 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 11. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away.

04 July 2007

The Declaration

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.— That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.— Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy of the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

[The 56 signatures on the Declaration were arranged in six columns:]

[Column 1]
Georgia:
Button Gwinnett
Lyman Hall
George Walton

[Column 2]
North Carolina:
William Hooper
Joseph Hewes
John Penn
South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge
Thomas Heyward, Jr.
Thomas Lynch, Jr.
Arthur Middleton

[Column 3]
Massachusetts:
John Hancock
Maryland:
Samuel Chase
William Paca
Thomas Stone
Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia:
George Wythe
Richard Henry Lee
Thomas Jefferson
Benjamin Harrison
Thomas Nelson, Jr.
Francis Lightfoot Lee
Carter Braxton

[Column 4]
Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris
Benjamin Rush
Benjamin Franklin
John Morton
George Clymer
James Smith
George Taylor
James Wilson
George Ross
Delaware:
Caesar Rodney
George Read
Thomas McKean

[Column 5]
New York:
William Floyd
Philip Livingston
Francis Lewis
Lewis Morris
New Jersey:
Richard Stockton
John Witherspoon
Francis Hopkinson
John Hart
Abraham Clark

[Column 6]
New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett
William Whipple
Massachusetts:
Samuel Adams
John Adams
Robert Treat Paine
Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins
William Ellery
Connecticut:
Roger Sherman
Samuel Huntington
William Williams
Oliver Wolcott
New Hampshire:
Matthew Thornton

Fly Report: 04th July 2007

Good morning. Happy Independence Day! Happy Birthday America!

It's 57° Fahrenheit and mostly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 86° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $72.05 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.02 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 10. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

I don't know if I can make it; I'm not easy on my knees.

03 July 2007

Fly Report: 03rd July 2007

Good morning. I knew there'd come a day I'd set you free.

It's 59° Fahrenheit and mostly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 85° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $71.79 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.01 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 9. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

Rise up, rise up; with wings like eagles.

02 July 2007

Fly Report: 02nd July 2007

Good morning. My love is on the line.

It's 57° Fahrenheit and mostly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 93° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $71.28 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.01 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 8. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

When I am still, she waits to break my will.