31 March 2006

Against the Wind

Outside
Somebody's outside
Somebody's knocking at the door
There's a black car parked
At the side of the road
Don't go to the door
Don't go to the door
- Pontifex Maximus, "Tomorrow"

Today is Mrs. Augustus' memorial service. It's at 15:00, followed by a reception. I'll be able to stick around for the entire service, but I'll have to bug out of the reception early in order to get to the office for my 17:00 shift. It's fairly infrequent that I go to a funeral as an attendant, vice an employee. Mrs. Augustus had become like a grandmother to me; in fact, I was probably closer to her than I am with my actual grandmothers. My relationship with her was probably similar to the relationship that I have with the current Matriarch. She's already been laid to rest; she was laid to rest on Tuesday, which would have been their thirty-sixth wedding anniversary. I'm not sure how I'm going to react. I've had notice for several months that she wasn't going to make it, so that's already set in; I doubt there will be tears, but I suppose it's a possibility.

Up every morning just to keep a job
I gotta fight my way through the hustling mob.
Sounds of the city pounding in my brain,
While another day goes down the drain.
- The Vogues, "Five O'Clock World"

As my first real task of today, I ironed and hung up all of my formal clothes. I rehung my ties o their hanger, ironed two dress shirts and a pair of trousers, and reorganized my closet. I'll probably be wearing my black suit, long-sleeved grey dress shirt, and either my Guinness necktie, or my standard black, grey, and white necktie to the funeral, and subsequently to work. I have a lot of neckties that I don't really get a chance to wear; in fact, some of them could probably be tossed, though I'm not sure that I'll do that since I'll probably eventually have a job that either necessitates or allows the wearing of neckties. I personally think that neckties are the most ridiculous piece of clothing ever conceived, but if I'm going to have to wear one, I may as well have a small selection to work with. As it stands, I have about three that I ever get to wear, four if you count the gold one.

Just finish cleanin' up your room
Let's see that dust fly with that broom
Get all that garbage out of sight
Or you don't go out Friday night
Yakety yak (don't talk back)
- The Coasters, "Yakety Yak"

Today's payday. All of those long, non-blogging days that I put in last month? Today I see the fruits of my labor... Briefly, before I start paying bills, and then leave the rest be. My one prospect for a Friday night social life, some sort of social engagement with Mormon and Mrs. Buddha, has thus far resulted in little more than an unreturned telephone call. There's a high likelihood that my Friday night will end in a movie, a Guinness, and a few chapters of Black Hawk Down. Tomorrow I'll work my six hours at the surplus store, and then... Who knows? Oh, and I think I'm going to put some rounds down-range on Monday or Tuesday morning.

And in the daylight
A blackbird makes a violent sight
And when she is done
She sleeps beside the one
- Pontifex Maximus, "An Cat Dubh"

I've shifted a few of my many, many, many books around in the last few days. One of my nine Xerox paper boxes full of books is now dedicated in part to my books and materials dedicated to the study of foreign languages.

  • Ahlen wa Sahlen by Mahdi Alosh (Book and CDs) (Arabic)
  • Survival Guide to Iraqi Arabic by the Defense Language Institute (book and CD)
  • Guten Tag - First Year German (Book and CD-ROM)
  • Guten Tag - Second Year German (Book and CD-ROM)
  • Langenscheidt Pocket German Dictionary
  • Wheelock's Latin
  • Langenscheidt's Pocket Latin Dictionary
  • Latin Vocabulary Cards: Academic Study Card Set
  • Latin Cheat Sheet Card

    All of that knowledge, and barely a fraction of it in my brain. Oh well.
  • When Bureaucracy Attacks

    Hello, friends.

    In case anyone needed more proof that the United Nations is a functionless bureaucracy, Kofi Annan has released a statement saying that the UN needs to cut down on the number of reports it issues. Apparently the volume of reports, coupled with the fact that every report has to be translated into six languages, has become an overwhelming burden on the organization. The Fly released a statement saying that the United Nations should spend less time on paperwork and more time actually accomplishing something.

    At a press conference in Liverpool, England with UK Foreign Secretary Jack Straw, Secretary of State Rice has defended the decision to go to war in Iraq, acknowledging that although there have been mistakes on the tactical level, that the overall decision to go to war was the right one. What's the CNN headline? "Rice: Thousands of errors in Iraq". Media bias? I think so.

    The United States is mulling over whether to take on the task of destroying Libya's chemical weapons for them. It would be a good idea if you ask me; it sets a good example, and demonstrates that we're willing to back up our pledge to assist and encourage nations that are willing to give up their illicit weapons programs.

    And Dan Quayle? Still gaining acceptance.

    Fly Report: 31st March 2006

    Good morning. I wanna put on my-my-my-my-my boogie shoes, just to boogie with you.

    It's 43° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 47° Fahrenheit and mostly cloudy.

    The average price of oil is $66.19 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.74 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is 1 Corinthians 4. The Fly is currently reading Field Manual 100-5: Operations and Black Hawk Down by Mark Bowden.

    I'm starting a landslide in my ego.

    30 March 2006

    The Truth Hurts

    Sweet merciful glaven on a stick, this guy left a comment, I went and checked out his blog, and it's awesome. You should go check it out, especially if your name is Mo-Licious. Seriously.

    Thursday Funnies

    There are a few funny bits and pieces that are worth posting, so I'm posting them.

    First, if you're in the mood for a bit of innuendo, go check out MG's rendezvous with a Cadbury Egg; link via Lycan Thrope's Howls from the Edge.

    Next, there's apparently this guy in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada who writes letters to major companies while he's bored in class. He's posted the letters - including the responses from the companies and organizations that have responded to him - at his website. Special thanks to Sarah Canuck for giving me the link.

    The third and fourth items make fun of the Taliban. There's the Taliban TV Guide...

    SUNDAY:
    8:00 - My 33 Sons
    8:30 - Osama Knows Best
    9:00 - I Dream of Mohammed
    9:30 - Let's Mecca Deal
    10:00 - The Kabul Hillbillies

    MONDAY:
    8:00 - Husseinfeld
    9:00 - Mad About Everything
    9:30 - Monday Night Stoning
    10:00 - Win Bin Laden's Money
    10:30 - Allah McBeal

    TUESDAY:
    8:00 - Wheel of Terror
    8:30 - The Price is Right if Osama Says it's Right
    9:00 - Children are Forbidden from Saying the Darndest Things
    9:30 - Taliban's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
    10:00 - Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer

    WEDNESDAY:
    8:00 - Beat the Press
    8:30 - When Kurds Attack
    9:00 - Two Guys, a Girl, and Pita Bread
    9:30 - Just Shoot Everyone
    10:00 - Veilwatch

    THURSDAY:
    8:00 - Fatima Loves Chachi
    8:30 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
    9:00 - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils
    9:30 - Married with 139 Children
    10:00 - Eye for an Eye Witness News

    FRIDAY:
    8:00 - Judge Saddam
    8:30 - Suddenly Sanctions
    9:00 - Who Wants to Marry a Terrorist Millionaire?
    9:30 - Cave and Garden Television
    10:00 - No-Witness News

    SATURDAY:
    8:00 - Spongebob Squareturban
    8:30 - Whose Koran Is It Anyway?
    9:00 - Teletalibans
    9:30 - Camel 54, Where Are You?

    ... and then this gem:

    We all know that it is a sin for a Taliban male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does, So this Saturday at 4:00 p.m. Eastern time all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

    All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women. And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack of beer at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.

    The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

    Oh, that wacky Taliban! What cookie jar will they get their hand into next? Possibly none, actual; in my professional opinion, there's some likelihood that cookies are forbidden under the Taliban's interpretation of Sharia. Do I have any proof of this? No, I don't. However, if Sharia forbids political cartons of Muhammed in the Dar al Harb thousands of miles away from Mecca, it's not unreasonable to assume that some Sharia stipulation against cookies might exist.

    Now, about that Cadbury Egg...

    Filistines, Persians, and Papuans, Oh My!

    Here are a few of the stories that are worth noting today.

    "Palestinian" President Mahmoud Abbas has telephoned Ehud Olmert, the winner of this week's Israeli elections, congratulating him and wishing him luck in forming a ruling coalition. As some of you may realize, working diplomatically with an Israeli PM whose goal is withdrawal from the West Bank is in the best interests of Abbas and his constituency; that's probably why the savages from Hamas want him to step down. Meanwhile, the United States, Russia, the European Union, and the United Nations have threatened to cut aid to the "Palestinian" government unless the Hamas government renounces violence and recognizes the state of Israel; meanwhile, Muammar Qaddafi has pledged money to aid the Hamas government, though I don't think anyone is naive enough to think that Qaddafi can come anywhere near matching the amount of money that Hamas stands to lose out on. Also, it's tough to figure out what Qaddafi's strategy is; he may be eccentric, but he's not stupid, and this is deviating from his new game plan of sidling up to the West. As the new Hamas prime minister was sworn in, the United States and Canada officially cut ties to the "Palestinian" government. The degree to which Washington will continue involvement with the "Palestinian" Authority is unclear. For those of you who don't know the situation, "Palestinian" politics are pretty much the most complicated thing you could ever get into. You've got the Palestinian Authority, which is different than the government, both of which were controlled by Fatah for years and years, but now the government's controlled by Hamas, and you also have to throw in all the terrorist groups that double as "political parties", and I think there's some more.

    Secretary of State Rice has issued a statement saying that Iran can have nuclear energy, but not nuclear weapons; the statement specifically precludes Iran from enriching its own Uranium. Russia, which has been a sort of intermediary and neutral third party through all of this, has released a statement saying that the Russian government only supports political avenues and diplomacy in dealing with the Iran nuclear issue. Iran may claim that they only want peaceful nuclear energy for research purposes; however, they've been offered pre-enriched Uranium, as well as light-water research reactors that can't be used to enrich Uranium. The Iranians have balked at all of it. The BBC has a great, simple feature on the nuclear fuel cycle.

    And in the latest display of Islamist hypocrisy, an Indonesian cartoonist has depicted Australian Prime Minister and his foreign minister. What were they doing in the cartoon? According to the BBC article, they were "fornicating as wild dogs", with Howard "mounting" Foreign Minister Alexander Downer. And why did the Indonesian cartoonist do it? Because the Howard government granted visas to a group of Papuan dissidents who were seeking political asylum from the Indonesian government. Somehow, I doubt that Australians will take to the streets and riot against the Indonesian cartoonist.

    Fly Report: 30th March 2006

    Good morning. Pyramid schemes are the devil.

    It's 43° Fahrenheit and cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 40° Fahrenheit and with snow showers.

    The average price of oil is $66.47 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.74 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is 1 Corinthians 3. The Fly is currently reading Field Manual 100-5: Operations and Black Hawk Down by Mark Bowden.

    Love is dryness in a deep well, all your secrets and no one to tell.

    Crucifixion Imagery

    I saw this article out of the corner of my eye as I was logging out of my Yahoo(!) E-Mail account this evening. The headline? "Study: Jesus crucifixion image may be wrong". The article goes into a bit of detail, but all it really comes up with is a statement that it's a possibility that Jesus wasn't crucified in the way that his crucifixion has been depicted for thousands of years.

    Ladies and gentlemen, this is the lowest common denominator of both history and journalism, two fields that I am notably familiar with. You don't have to have any evidence to make a thesis like this. Saying that the traditional image of Jesus' crucifixion could be wrong is sort of like saying that Julius Caesar could have had a birth mark, or King Richard the Lionheart could have been allergic to peanuts. When there's no evidence to disprove something, you can say pretty much anything you like, and some jackass, in this case the Agence France-Presse, will publish it.

    For shame.

    29 March 2006

    A Scene from Fly's Life

    Yet another example of the versatility of Sports Night when used to describe my life. In Episode 35, The Sweet Smell of Air, Casey has to go to his son's class and do some sort of demonstration...

    Casey: I did what I do, Dan. I did what I do.
    Dan: You screwed up your romantic life in front of fifth graders?

    That pretty much sums it up. High-larious!

    Stuff that Happens

    Here are a few news stories that you ought to know about.

    Abdul Rahman, the Afghan Christian who faced the death penalty, has left Afghanistan, apparently prior to a demand from the Afghan parliament to the Afghan Foreign Ministry that he, being a former death penalty defendant, not be allowed to leave the country. It appears that he's been offered asylum in Italy. In another, unrelated example of an asinine interpretation of Sharia, an Indian man is fighting local Islamist leaders, who say that he must divorce his wife. Why? Because he apparently said the name "divorce" three times... In his sleep. The Islamist tribal leaders say that he must divorce his wife for a period of time, and she must spend a night with another man, who must then divorce her, if the two are to reconcile. Husband and wife are defying the order, and rightly so if you ask me.

    I didn't post it yesterday, since it was the only news story worth posting, but the Nigerians apparently lost Charles Taylor for a few hours, then found him, and he's now en route to Liberia to face a U.N. war crimes tribunal. We'll see if they get around to a verdict quicker than they were able to do with Slobodan Milosevic.

    Apparently Greenpeace has sent one of their ships to the Gulf of Guinea to patrol for pirate fishing boats, and they helped to catch one. And the jokes write themselves.

    The Israeli parliamentary elections have resulted in victory for the Kadima party, the first time that neither the Likud or Labor parties have won. However, it wasn't a majority victory, which means that they must form a coalition government under the rules of parliamentary politics. Re-elected Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, successor to Ariel Sharon, is governing on a platform of withdrawal from the West Bank, setting Israel's final borders by the end of 2010.

    Oh, and one more thing: Tom Jones has been knighted. Images would seem to suggest that he did not, in fact, leave his hat on.

    Two Minutes Hate: Day 2

    And now it's time for the second installment of the Two Minutes Hate.

    Feminism is anachronistic bullshit. Working for a fair playing field is one thing; feminism isn't working for a fair playing field. Feminism is based on two asinine arguments. The first is that women have been oppressed by men since the beginning of time. I am an ancient historian, and one need go no further than Tacitus' Agricola, chapter six:

    From Britain he went to Rome, to go through the regular course of office, and there allied himself with Domitia Decidiana, a lady of illustrious birth. The marriage was one which gave a man ambitious of advancement distinction and support. They lived in singular harmony, through their mutual affection and preference of each other to self. However, the good wife deserves the greater praise, just as the bad incurs a heavier censure.

    Other evidence of this can be found in the Penguin Classics anthology, Plutarch on Sparta, which has a section of quotes attributed to the women of Sparta. Many of the quotes may as well have been uttered by Navy SEALs or something. In ancient Celtic society, men and women fought side by side in combat. In Athenian society, it was said that the way to a family's vote (since men voted for their households, representing more than just themselves) was through the son, who had the ear of his mother, who had the ear of the father. These are just a few examples from ancient history that prove that feminist history is revisionist ignorance; it doesn't even take into account other examples from other parts of the world or eras of world history.

    The second piece of asinine reasoning that fuels feminism is that there is no difference between men and women. That I even have to address this is completely ridiculous. Aside from obvious differences of both anatomy and brain function, women and men have an overwhelming tendency toward undeniable behavioral differences. Are there exceptions? Of course, and many of them are on the LPGA tour.

    Okay, joking aside, there are exceptions, but you don't base an entire worldview on the exceptions. Imagine if the Athenians, the Romans, or the Founding Fathers had said to themselves, "Well, a democracy/republic gives the best voice to the vast majority of people, and allows us to govern the country based on the will of the citizens... But what about the two percent of people who would prefer an oligarchic/communist form of government? We have to base our entire political system on accomodation to them!" Such a position would be ludicrous. Feminism takes such a position. "Well, the vast majority of men and women may look, act, think, and work differently than each other, and normal society may function pretty well; but there are exceptions, like effeminate gay guys and hardcore militant lesbians. Let's build our entire society around their needs!" Men and women are inherently different; that doesn't make one better than the other. Most people can understand that, but most hardcore feminists can't.

    Feminism: anachronistic bullshit, so saith the Fly.

    Fly Report: 29th March 2006

    Good morning. It's what the Germans call a "dreifach verdopplen", in Japanese it's "toripulu daburu", and it's "rawa-ingwa-oo" for those of you who speak the ancient language of Akkadian.

    It's 46° Fahrenheit with partial clouds in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 41° Fahrenheit and with afternoon rain and snow showers.

    The average price of oil is $65.37 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.75 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is 1 Corinthians 2. The Fly is currently reading Field Manual 100-5: Operations and Black Hawk Down by Mark Bowden.

    What you got, they can't steal it; no, they can't even feel it.

    28 March 2006

    Two Minutes Hate: Day 1

    I didn't get a chance to do this yesterday, but here goes...

    Ani DiFranco is a no talent hack. She is colossally overrated, and that's saying a lot since almost no one actually listens to her music or goes to her concerts. She's got no real education, and that's just one of the many reasons why her "politics" are a complete and total joke; it's tough to be informed about complex political issues, both foreign and domestic, when your academic backgroud rests entirely in fine arts. So, because of that, and because her music doesn't really display that much actual talent, Ani DiFranco is a worthy recipient of pity, scorn, and condescension.

    A Super Fly Update

    Here are a few of the things that are going on with me today.

    I think my ancient computer may have a virus. My computer crashed like, five or six times this morning. I went to the computer shop that my company uses, and I'm looking into getting a new one; it'll be expensive if I get it from them, but I can knock about $400 off of the bid by not getting MS Office (which I can get later if I need it), and if I get it from them they'll transfer all of my files for me from my desktop and laptop machines. They make good machines, and without MS Office, it'll come out to around $1200, some of which I can get my folks to pay for as a tardy graduation gift.

    On the employment front, I got five rejection E-Mails from Raytheon last night, one of which was for the job that I interviewed for. One of them was for the job that I first applied for with them back in November. Now, their website said about a month ago that I'd been eliminated from that job (Intelligence Analyst), and it's basically a month later that I finally get an E-Mail. I checked the website, and it still says that the Civilians on the Battlefield position is "In Review". Basically, I'm getting conflicting information, and while I now have reason to believe that I didn't get the job, I also have reason to believe that their website is more accurate than their E-Mail system. I'll give it until the end of the week to see if I hear anything more; after that, I'll figure out the next step in my game plan.

    A strange thing has happened with Boeing, however. I haven't applied for any more jobs since I got the first call-back from Raytheon almost a month ago. As of two weeks ago, I had been eliminated from all but two jobs with Boeing: that one in Colorado, and one in California. It's been like that for several weeks. Well, I checked Boeing's website last night after I got all of the rejection E-Mails, and I'm now under consideration for three jobs, not two. I applied in early February for a job as an office administrator at one of Boeing's offices in Washington state, and had been eliminated from it; somehow, I've been put back in the running. Maybe they interviewed the finalists and all of them were mouth-breathing simpletons? Who knows. We'll see what happens. I'll also be applying for a job for another company that has an office in College City at work tomorrow, provided it's still listed on that company's website.

    Since I'll probably have a new computer soon, and since they'll have to transfer the files from this machine over to the new hard drive, I undertook the monstrous task of reorganizing my files. Back when I was using Windows 3.1, before the days of a "My Documents" folder, I had my own folder labeled "miscfiles" (for "Miscellaneous Files"). One of the guys at the shop said that all of the files on this machine needed to be in "My Documents" in order to be transfered, so everything that can be moved, has been moved. There are still a few sound files, program-related files, and audio files that can't be moved until everything gets transferred, but everything else has either been moved, or trashed. I've dreaded doing this for at least a couple of years, but it didn't take as long as I would have thought, and it was more painless than I expected. By the end of the day, I'll have run Scandisk and Defrag as well. I rule.

    Most of yesterday's list got finished yesterday; the only items that weren't taken care of by the time I went to bed around midnight were PT and dropping off a couple of things at the post office. The post office got taken care of today. Today's looking promising; I'll try to get out for a long walk later on, and this will count as my writing for today. I'm sure I'll finish FM 100-5 at some point this week, but I started reading Black Hawk Down by Mark Bowden yesterday, and I'll probably try to knock out a couple of chapters of that between now and Schlaffenzeit.

    So, that's me today.

    G.I. Joe versus Ken

    I was cleaning up some files on my computer (more on that later) and came across this old list. Have a look.

    TOP TEN DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GI JOE AND KEN
    10. GI Joe is designed for the art of combat; Ken is designed for tennis.
    9. GI Joe can knock back 10 brews and still take on the enemy hordes; Ken gets plastered after one "nada colada".
    8. GI Joe's Kung fu grip permits proper manipulation of accessories; Ken's hard plastic hands force him to undress barbie with his teeth.
    7. GI Joe: lowly infantryman. Ken: covert CIA advisor to South Vietnamese forces in Danang.
    6. GI Joe drives a Sherman tank with 50mm Howitzers; Ken has a "cool" pink convertible coupe.
    5. GI Joe hasn't gotten lucky in years; Ken gets busy with Skipper on the side.
    4. GI Joe defends America and her interests abroad; Ken defends his right to hang out with Barbie, a broad.
    3. GI joe represents the best in America's fighting forces; Ken represents the failed, morally bankrupt yuppie lifestyle.
    2. Joe can kill you with a fingernail; Ken cries like a baby when he stubs his toe.
    1. GI Joe is made of plastic; Ken is plastic.

    Stuff Fly Wants: Updated for You!

    Military Gear
  • British special forces style rucksack (available at Silverman's in London, item number 35116) - £89.99
  • British SAS smock (available at Silverman's in London, item number 35116) - £90.00
  • Tiger Stripe Utilities - $39.90
  • Ka-Bar USMC Fighting Knife - $70.83
  • Crye Precision Multicam Range Vest
  • Marine Corps combat boots

    Miscellaneous Clothing
  • Royal Marines T-Shirt - £10.96
  • More Cowbell T-Shirt - $17.99
  • Position Wanted: Pope T-Shirt - $20.00
  • Major League Infidel T-Shirt - $17.00

    Household Items
  • Brita Water Filtration Pitcher - $29.99
  • Xbox DVD Movie Playback Kit - $29.99
  • Guinness logo pint glasses
  • Amazing Pasta Maker - $39.95 [click me]
  • Walther PPK
  • Sheep Skin Rug - price unknown

    Books
  • On War by Carl von Clausewitz - $26.00 (Amazon price $16.38)
  • The Gifts of the Jews by Thomas Cahill - $14.95 (Amazon price $9.72)
  • The Philip K. Dick Reader by Philip K. Dick - $15.95 (Amazon price $10.37)

    Entertainment
  • Space Above and Beyond - Complete Series - $41.99 (Amazon price $36.98)
  • Battlestar Galactica - Season 2.0 - $49.98 (Amazon price $31.86)
  • Reno 911! - Season 2 - $39.98 (Amazon price $31.99)
  • On Her Majesty's Secret Service
  • The Island - $29.99 (Amazon price $15.98)
  • The Bourne Supremacy - $19.98 (Amazon price $14.99)
  • Switchfoot - Nothing is Sound - $18.99 (Amazon price $13.99)

  • Switchfoot - The Legend of Chin - $11.98*

  • Remy Zero - The Golden Hum - $18.98 (Amazon price $14.99)
  • Gavin DeGraw - Chariot Stripped - $18.98 (Amazon price $13.98)
  • 3 Doors Down - Away From The Sun - $13.98 (Amazon price $11.98)
  • Fly Report: 28th March 2006

    Good morning. I am self-defeating.

    It's 46° Fahrenheit with wind and light rain in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 52° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

    The average price of oil is $64.76 per barrel. What the hell? The exchange rate is $1.75 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is 1 Corinthians 1. The Fly is currently reading Field Manual 100-5: Operations.

    I'm losing you.

    Brokeback Mountain 2

    I didn't see Brokeback Mountain, and don't really plan to unless some gorgeous woman offers to reward me for doing so. However, if this represented a real sequel, I might be forced to fork over ten, fifteen, even thirty dollars in order to generate an informed opinion as to its artistic value and possible impact on our society.

    Particularly any scene primarily featuring the first and fifth cast members.

    27 March 2006

    When Wikipedia Sucks

    As many of you probably could have guessed, I take a particular pride in correcting people. It's a horrible, horrible habit, and I've had to really work to tone it down. However, particularly when something asinine is said, I get a sense of unrivalled glee from correcting it. Observe the error:

    The Soviet invasion of Afghanistan resulted in a call to arms by religious leaders all over the Muslim world to liberate the country from pro-Soviet rule. Bin Laden eagerly sent money, supplies, and weapons to the mujahideen in Afghanistan. Furthermore, under CIA supervision Bin Laden was trained by American special forces in guerilla warfare to counter the Soviet invasion in Afghanistan.
    (Emphasis added by the Fly)

    Now, observe the truth:

    It is time to lay to rest the nagging doubt held by many Americans that our government was somehow responsible for fostering bin Laden. It's not true and it leaves the false impression that we brought the Sept. 11 attacks down on ourselves. While it is impossible to prove a negative, all available evidence suggests that bin Laden (search) was never funded, trained or armed by the CIA.

    Bin Laden himself has repeatedly denied that he received any American support. “Personally neither I nor my brothers saw any evidence of American help,” bin Laden told British journalist Robert Fisk (search) in 1993. In 1996, Mr. Fisk interviewed bin Laden again. The arch-terrorist was equally adamant: “We were never, at any time, friends of the Americans. We knew that the Americans supported the Jews in Palestine and that they are our enemies.”

    As soon as I get home from work, I'm going to go about creating an account at Wikipedia so that I can go in, edit, and correct that statement. If I'm not careful, I'm going to turn out like Mo-Licious when I grow up...

    "Okay, I assume you all know why you're here. [ducks a chair thrown at him from offscreen] That's right, you're all angry, sick people."
    - Chief Wiggum, "Screaming Yellow Honkers"

    Oh, by the way, if you were going to take something away from this post, other than something about my glee at correcting people and my arrogance at such, it should be that while Wikipedia can be a good source for some surface information about a subject, it's not comprehensive, it's not professional, and everything you read there should be taken with a grain of salt. I've corrected several articles there over the last couple of years, and I'm dumb as a sack of hammers. Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: you get what you pay for.

    UPDATE: And... Done.

    From the Embassy

    This is a post that Mo-Licious will delight in.

    Okay, so as many of you will remember, I'm working a few shifts at the surplus store in the next few days to fill a staffing hole that the owner has run into. Today's my first day, and he got a couple of shipments. One of them was from a company called Crye Precision, which designed and manufactured one of the test uniforms for the Department of Defense. Apparently the uniform pattern won on all counts, except for price, so the Army went with the digital pattern (a ripoff of the Marine Corps pattern that was issued a few years ago) that has begun fielding.

    Anyway, Crye Precision has a few other items, including a Dirkastani Flag Patch. I'm not kidding. One of them was in the shipment, and I laughed my ass off. They're out of stock, but I'll be getting one as soon as I possibly can. Hilarious.

    Slow News Day

    The case in Afghanistan against Abdul Rahman, the man who converted to Christianity sixteen years ago, has been dropped. Afghans reacted to this news in the same way they react to any news that they hear: they protested. At any rate, it's my hope that Rahman, who will live in exile as a result of his refusal to convert back to Islam, will be offered asylum in a Western nation, maybe the States or the United Kingdom.

    Some of you may remember the situation in Liberia a few years ago. Their president, Charles Taylor, was forced to resign and went into exile in Nigeria. Nigeria has agreed to release Taylor into Liberian custody, but there's apparently some dispute over whether the Liberians will come and get him (which is what Nigeria wants), or whether the Nigerians will send him directly to the war crimes tribunal in Sierra Leone (which is what Liberia wants). Taylor has been indicted by a U.N. war crimes tribunal for offenses relating to war in Sierra Leone.

    And, on a lighter note, Libya has issued thousands of one week visas to allow tourists from around the world to view this week's solar eclipse. Of course, Israelis need not apply.

    Other than that, it's a slow news day. Even the Somalis aren't shooting today. It must be time for a khat break or something.

    UPDATE: A couple of news items from today are worth mentioning. First, Abdul Rahman has requested asylum in an undisclosed country. I hope Secretary Rice sends a delegation to cordially invite him to the United States. The guy's a damn hero for standing up to all of the whack job clerics who wanted his head on a platter.

    The second bombshell of the day is that Zacarias Moussaoui has not only admitted to knowing about the 9/11 plot beforehand, but claims that he and attempted shoe-bomber Richard Reid were tasked with hijacking a fifth plane and flying it into the White House.

    Fly Report: 27th March 2006

    Good morning. Everybody runs.

    It's 50° Fahrenheit with clouds in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 47° Fahrenheit and sunshine.

    The average price of oil is $63.40 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.74 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Amos 9. The Fly is currently reading Field Manual 100-5: Operations.

    It's no secret that our world is in darkness tonight.

    26 March 2006

    Another Note about Centaurs

    A few days ago I made that post about the centaur, and then exchanged its position with another post. Apparently, in the shuffle, I lost one of the paragraphs about the centaur, and that is this: if you encounter a centaur, do not challenge it. The only bloggers I know of who are tough enough to take on a centaur are myself, Lycan, Bane, and Black Five. Hell, Father Time would probably wet his pants if he ever saw a centaur, though that would probably be more a function of age and incontinence than fear.

    Of course, he'd be joined in his moisturized state by Poosh and Friar Dave, who would have no excuse...

    UPDATE: This just in from Friar Dave:

    Friar Dave: Careful. Any closer and I'll direct my "moisturizing" in your direction.

    And how!

    UPDATE: Okay, the entire conversation with the good Friar is worth reading, and I have his blessing to post it.

    Friar Dave: Careful. Any closer and I'll direct my "moisturizing" in your direction.
    The Fly: ROFL
    The Fly: Posted.
    Friar Dave: having a very broad knowledge of Graeco-Roman myth as well as the world of Narnia (about the only places you can find Centaurs anymore) I thin I could hold my own
    The Fly: Friar, how much do you weigh?
    Friar Dave: 165
    Friar Dave: yeah, yeah, i know.
    Friar Dave: a centaur's like a ton
    The Fly: Do you have any experience whatsoever in any kind of combat, be it rifle marksmanship, sword fighting, archery, or even Judo?
    Friar Dave: I do not. There are other ways around a Centaur, however
    The Fly: Around a centaur? I said take on a centaur.
    The Fly: For example, in my story, I jumped on a centaur's back and beat it senseless with an iron club.
    Friar Dave: *thinks*
    The Fly: You'd have been thrown, whether by the horse half or the man half, through the nearest shop window, tree, or brothel.
    Friar Dave: The brothel might not be so bad...
    The Fly: On second thought, maybe you should take on a centaur. And lure it near a brothel. That way it can get you into a brothel, and then, when I've smited it, I can join you. You can get sympathy sex, and I can get hero sex.
    The Fly: LOL
    The Fly: Great minds think alike.
    Friar Dave: but, i maintain, that fighting isnt the only way. If you have to be literal, yes, I would probably lose "taking on" a Centaur
    Friar Dave: Confronting a Centaur would be a different story
    The Fly: How could you successfully "confront" a centaur?
    Friar Dave: There are ways. I can think of two off hand.
    The Fly: And I asked you what they are.
    Friar Dave: A) There is the Man-half. While mostly martial, these are rational beasts as well. Convince it you're on the same side and all is well
    Friar Dave: B) Centaurs are creatures of Bacchus. Give it some wine, send it into the brothel, and be on your way
    The Fly: What if you're not on the same side? What if it wears a beret and mustache and answers to the name "Saddam Centaur"?
    The Fly: ROFL
    The Fly: Didn't you read the "Dirty Centaur" link, Dave? You'd have to send it to a stable, not a brothel.
    Friar Dave: I didnt read it....um
    Friar Dave: But I imagine there are ways around these things
    The Fly: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/00/00tcentaur.phtml
    The Fly: There are two words you have to keep in mind, Dave: horse penis.
    Friar Dave: i know, i know
    The Fly: You should read the transcript, won't take you that long, very funny, especially if you can figure Walken giving the lines.
    Friar Dave: wow

    This is even better than a debate about who would win in a fight, pirates or vampires!

    The Fly Translation and Enduring Memory

    This morning, my scripture reading was Amos 8. I went through it, and came across Amos 8:3:

    "In that day," declares the Sovereign LORD, "the songs in the temple will turn to wailing. Many, many bodies—flung everywhere! Silence!"

    As I said to Sarah Canuck, when I looked at it, I immediately thought to myself that it reminded me of Ralph Kramden from The Honeymooners. So, looking at it through that lens...

    And the Sovereign LORD said, "One of these days, Israel! BAM! Right to the moon!"

    I rule.

    The other thing that Sarah Canuck and I talked about was memory in Heaven. A few of you readers out there know Professor Augustus, and have kept track as I've noted the decline in health of his wife. She was diagnosed with lung cancer (I'm pretty sure that she wasn't ever a smoker) in mid-December, and had declined quickly. She died early Friday morning, and as unfortunate as it is for me to have to say it, it was past time for her to go. She'd been in enough pain in the last few weeks that she'd been on a pretty continuous morphine drip. It was past time.

    I told Sarah Canuck that I was glad that she wasn't in pain anymore, then said jokingly that if the following line was true...

    Your exploits, no matter how inane, are well documented in heaven.
    - Chris Rock as Rufus the Apostle, Dogma, 1999

    ... then my major reservation about Mrs. Augustus' arrival in Heaven is that this woman, who has apparently sung my praises far and wide, will now know the horrible things that I've done.

    Actually, though, I don't believe this. Isaiah 65:17 says:

    "Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind.["]

    Initially, when I learned of this verse back when I was about fifteen, it was fairly disturbing. Father Time, who is sort of nominally kind of Buddhist, educated me about the Tibetan Buddhist view of attachment; so there are at least some humans out there who have allegedly overcome their attachment to their fellow humans.

    Most people, on the other hand, value their relationships with other people, or with pets, or whatever. Now, an unhealthy fixation on objects and possessions is generally bad, but a strong emphasis on relationships with other people is good, right? For example, my relationship with Dr. and Mrs. Augustus has shaped who I am today, and it's shaped it for the better. The same goes with my friendships with Father Time, or Friar Dave, Sarah Canuck, April, Mo-Licious, and a whole host of other people I could name. Even folks like Lycan Thrope, whose real name I don't even know, have had a positive impact on my life in one way or another. The bottom line is that it makes me uncomfortable to think about living out the rest of eternity with no memory of the forces, factors, and folks who forged my identity. And, since I don't believe that we're all just going to be genderless, identity-free clones when we get to Heaven, this takes a bit of mental wrangling.

    What it comes down to for me, I think, is this: while I believe that we will retain individuality, uniqueness, and identity when we get to Heaven, I also believe that we will be in a state without pain or suffering. What's the defining factor of our terrestrial existence when compared with what we understand and expect from our state of being in Heaven? The defining difference is pain. I expect that when we get to Heaven, we will have no more need to endure pain. Lewis points out that pain has certain redemptive and purifying aspects to it; since we will no longer need any form of redemption or purification once we get to Heaven. And in fact, specific memories of the initial existence would only seem to remind us of the pain we endured. And, as a result, it seems unnecessary to me to remember specific details about the initial existence, even if we consider those details to be crucial due to our present understanding of life, the universe, and everything.

    At the end of the day, what it takes for me to believe it is faith: faith that God's wisdom exceeds my own, and faith that God's plan is better than my own. Since I know these things already about a number of other things, both related and unrelated, it's not such a big jump for my faith to extend to this issue.

    Thus saith the Fly.

    Reading Update

    This afternoon I finished reading The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis. I'm not sure how much of it I actually retained, but what I did retain, I liked. Lewis has a way of putting very big ideas in very short books, so that when you've read one of his books, you immediately feel like you need to read it again. It's also worth noting that I finished it in less than a week, which is a rarity for me.

    Having also finished Bono in Conversation last Sunday, I have six days left to read something for professional development. If I can accomplish that, I will have completed at least one of my New Year's Resolution goals for this month: to read a total of two books, one for leisure, one for professional development, each month. Since I've already read a good part of it, I'm guessing that I'll probably finish FM 100-5: Operations. I'm around halfway through it, and it's a good, short read, so I can probably have it knocked out in the next couple of days, and certainly by the end of next week.

    So, that leaves me with the task of figuring out ahead of time what book I'll follow up with. Since I've read two leisure books in a row, I think that I'll start April out with a second professional development read. Here are the options I'm looking at right now.

  • Hizbu'llah: Politics and Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb
  • The Art of War by Sun Tzu
  • Black Hawk Down by Mark Bowden
  • The Influence of Sea Power on History by Alfred T. Mahan
  • MI6 by Stephen Dorril
  • Globalized Islam by Olivier Roy

    I'm a little ways into that last book, but I'm leaning away from it. I'm actually sort of tempted to read either Mahan, Dorril, or Sun Tzu; the most ambitious would be Dorril, the least ambitious would be Sun Tzu. Luckily, I can get away with waiting a couple of days to decide. If anyone has some input, feel free to post it in comments.

    Also, just out of curiosity: what are you reading right now?
  • 25 March 2006

    When Something Horrible Happens

    The Fly: Hey Anachronism?
    Anachronism: aye?
    The Fly: I just wanted to say that if something terrible ever had to happen to one of us, I'd want it to be you.
    Anachronism: ok

    Baptism by Pie

    Dan: You know, sometimes it's worth it - taking all the pies in the face. Sometimes you come through it feeling good."
    Casey: Yes.
    Dan: And how was your day?
    Casey: Sometimes you just stand there, hip-deep in pie.
    - Dana and the Deep Blue Sea

    24 March 2006

    Blog Housekeeping Notes

    A couple of things.

    First, I've added a few links to the sidebar in the last few days; I should probably go through and clean out a few of the ones that I don't read anymore, but I haven't done it yet. I added Cox and Forkum and Filibuster Cartoons, both of which are conservative political cartoonists/commentators. I've also added a link in the "Laugh Out Loud" section to Longmire Does Romance Novels. While it's not a site that gets updated, it's still extremely funny, so you should go check it out.

    Second, next week I'll be having a week-long feature following the daily Fly Reports. If any of you have read George Orwell's classic 1984, you'll remember a passage in which the protagonist participates in the Two Minutes Hate, a brainwashing tool used to engineer absolute loyalty to the party, and absolute hatred toward the party's enemies. Next week, I'll be having a week of "Two Minutes Hate" posts. Curious what they'll be about? You'll have to tune in to find out.

    I've accomplished everything on my list for the last four days running, and I'm not going to let today be any different. I may post more at a later time, but for now, there's stuff to be done.

    Chaos Rears its Ugly Head

    I'm not sure who's been following the news out of Belarus. They held an election earlier this week in which the reigning dictator, one of the world's last holdovers from the days of the Soviet Union, won by a landslide. This sparked protests comparable to Ukraine's Orange Revolution of last year. Police have broken up the protests and carted the protestors away. The United States and the European Union are imposing sanctions on Belarus. This kind of thing (a disputed election, followed by protests) has happened several times recently, most notably in Ukraine and Kyrgyzstan. There's a great Filibuster Cartoon about it. The point is that you should be aware that it's happening.

    Some of you may have heard that Australia was hit by the massive Cyclone Larry (the Pacific Ocean equivalent of a hurricane) this week. Peter Cosgrove, the retired Australian general who's in charge of the rebuilding effort, has stated that no artificial timelines can be set for the rebuilding effort. Why do I post this story? Because it'll be interesting to see if Australian hippies start flipping out for no good reason about the Howard government's response to Cyclone Larry like American critics of the Bush Administration have gone livid about the response to Hurricane Katrina. Natural disasters happen, and sometimes they're so huge that even the best plans are tough to implement. That's how the world works, and that's why they're called disasters, not impositions.

    Muammar Qaddafi, in that aforementioned teleconference at Columbia University about democracy, has claimed that Libya is the world's only democracy, begging the question: "When has Libya ever had elections?" However, he also called the rest of the Arab world "backward", which is a good thing. Qaddafi's always good for a sound byte, as some folks may remember from this post in which he took credit for President Bush's 2004 reelection. Colonel Qaddafi has to be the world's greatest dictator, because he's been pretty much harmless since Spring of 2003, and the things he says are so entertaining... Unlike that total whack job Kim Jong-Il.

    Oh, and Somalia's still a God-forsaken war zone.

    UPDATE: A Pentagon report released today indicates that the Russian ambassador to Iraq gave intel to the Iraqi government preceding the U.S. invasion regarding the movements and strategy of coalition forces. Apparently this played out to our advantage, though they're not sure whether it was by accident or on purpose on the part of the Russians. Very interesting.

    MA in MH

    The other day I was looking up some information on the French flagship, POS Charles de Gaulle, and saw a link in the sidebar that caught my interest. Apparently there's Norwich University has a Master of Arts in Military History program that you can do by remote. When I'm a bit more settled, and have a little extra money, I could totally see myself doing this. As far as I'm concerned, I'm probably halfway there already with all of the extra reading, discussions, and course work that I did for my Naval Science minor in college.

    Pretty sweet, eh?

    Fly Smites a Hippy Centaur

    When I was in Firenze (Florence), Italy, it was just a week or so after the 2003 invasion of Iraq. International tensions were high, and as I sat at a little cafe enjoying a glass of red wine and being adored by beautiful Italian girls, that feared mob appeared: a bunch of hippies, led by a centaur. They were waving flags that said "PACE", which is Italian for "PEACE". They were rainbow flags, which is a symbol of gay pride.

    Needless to say, I was not amused.

    They saw my haircut, the bodyguards, the money, and the beautiful, bathed women in my presence. It was obvious, there for all to see: I was an American capitalist with military experience. Naturally, they got jealous, and approached me. The centaur got pretty angry, and said in broken English that I should go back to America where I belonged. Then he started pushing me around, getting physical, and intimidating the girls who wanted nothing more than to enjoy my charming presence.

    Then he made the last mistake he'd have a chance to make: he spit in Friar Dave's gelatto. It was on.

    I grabbed the iron club that I always carry when I'm traveling in Europe, jumped over the centaur's head and onto his back, got him in a head lock, and proceeded to beat him senseless. Then, as he lay gasping for breath on the cobblestoned street, I yanked one of his horse shoes off and, in a moment that would eventually be copied by Deputy Jones on Reno 911!, I said: "Don't make me beat you with your own shoe."

    That dirty centaur stayed down, I tell you what.

    Actually, this picture was taken on Friday, 4th April 2003 at the Loggia del Lanzi, in the Palazza della Signoria in Florence/Firenze. It's a statue of Hercules smiting Caccus the Centaur. I'm not a medieval/renaissance historian (that would be Friar Dave), but I absolutely loved Firenze, and recommend it almost as highly as I recommend Orkney; as a matter of fact, I met my friends from Orkney in Firenze.

    Fly Report: 24th March 2006

    Good morning. Rosebud Frozen Peas are full of country goodness and green peaness.

    It's 45° Fahrenheit with wind and partial clouds in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 50° Fahrenheit with clouds.

    The average price of oil is $63.61 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.74 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Amos 6. The Fly is currently reading The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis.

    It's her daylight that gets me through.

    23 March 2006

    A Farewell to Arms

    I'm not sure who among you does and doesn't check international news regularly. Some of you will have seen last July that the Irish Republican Army renounced violence. Several days ago, the Basque group eta announced a ceasefire as well. These are two of the only foreign terrorist organizations listed on the State Department list of foreign terror organizations.

    If you ask me, these renunciations of violence have at least part of their root in the War on Terror. The IRA and their affiliated organizations, Sinn Fein (Northern Ireland political party) and Republican Sinn Fein (Republic of Ireland political party) have been very critical of President Bush for refusing any dealings with them due to their connections to terrorism. My guess is that ETA is roughly the same story. In a post 9/11, 3/11, 7/7 world, political legitimacy and the threat of armed conflict are incompatible in the Western world, and these groups have realized that and walked away from decades of violence. They have realized that angry or not, the strategy for accomplishing their political goals can't include violence.

    This shows one of the major differences between the developed world and the developing world. For example, look at the contrasts. Both the IRA and ETA were known to call in bomb threats prior to detonation; not in all cases, but in many. I've done more reading about the IRA, but I know that both the IRA and ETA have had both political and military wings; in the case of the IRA, the paramilitary IRA was affiliated with Sinn Fein, the political party. They also tended to demonstrate some limitations in targeting; for example, one would expect to be safe aboard a school bus.

    Compare this to the terrorism we see in the developing world, primarily in Central/South America, the Middle East, and Southeast Asia (Malaysia, Indonesia, the Philippines, et cetera). In the Middle East in particular, a terrorist organization might completely eschew political involvement. While groups like Hamas, Hezbollah, and Fatah/al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades are both political and military simultaneously, groups like al Qaeda, Ansar al-Islam, Jemaah Islamiyah, and Abu Sayyaf have no political involvement whatsoever. I'm not well enough educated on the terrorist groups in Central and South America to comment, but I'm under the impression that these groups are much closer in both modus operandi and organizational makeup to the Islamist terror groups than they are to the IRA or ETA.

    Also, as I mentioned before, one could generally expect that if they were on a school bus or in a cafe, they wouldn't have to fear an IRA or ETA bomb. While these Western groups didn't restrict themselves to military and government targets, they didn't generally target women and children, though there were exceptions. Islamist terrorists, on the other hand, have made a point of bombing coffee houses, pizzerias, and even school buses in Israel. They've targeted police recruiting stations, hotels, and any number of other "soft" targets in Iraq; some of you might even remember that during the first Iraqi election in January of '05, the terrorists rigged a bomb to a mentally handicapped kid in a wheelchair. No form of terrorism reaches any level of civilization, but one can agree that terrorists are particularly and especially vile when they make a point of targeting children.

    As I've researched this subject in the past, it's brought me to a conclusion: in the West, one can not have true political legitimacy if their political demands are backed up by a threat of violence; this is to say, violence is only acceptable in the West if the threat is from a legitimate government in the interests of maintaining order and security. In the West, an independent political party or interest group loses all legitimacy if they attempt to secure their demands through the use of violence. In the developing world, the opposite is the case: while some groups (Hamas, Hezbollah, Fatah) seek to work through a political/civil process, they possess no power or legitimacy unless their party has a credible paramilitary capacity. In fact, as we see from al Qaeda, Abu Sayyaf, Jemaah Islamiyah, Ansar al-Islam, and other terrorist organizations, a political wing is often seen as trivial, or even as an impediment.

    So, the War on Terror has led to tentative ends to political violence in Northern Ireland and the Basque region of France and Spain; this is in addition to the Libyan surrender of WMD programs and terrorist sponsorship. This is the reasonable response that we can expect from a combination of political/diplomatic pressure and a credible threat of force. However, the fact that Islamist groups are willing to kidnap, torture, and even kill foreign aid workers, or bomb school buses and pizzerias, should serve as confirmation that Islamist terror groups are not comparable to groups like the IRA or ETA, and a simple application of political and diplomatic pressure will do little to end Islamist terrorism. Overwhelming force is required.

    Thus saith the Fly.

    UPDATE: I forgot to mention something when I wrote the post up. On my flight to Texas (prior to arriving in Denver, I think) I read an excellent book, Shadow War by Richard Miniter. The whole book's a great read, and I especially loved chapter four in which Miniter documents the alliances that the Bush Administration has forged with nations like Morocco, Algeria, and Mauritania; apparently al Qaeda has attempted, with some degree of success, to set up a new stronghold in North Africa, where the terrain and culture are helpful to their attempts to hide and build their strength.

    However, the point of bringing up the book is that the final chapter, titled "Bombs and Ballots: The Madrid Attack and the American Election", discusses the 3/11 attack on Madrid. It has some good information on ETA, their history, and why the government of Jose Maria Aznar had good reason to believe that it was ETA, and not an al Qaeda affiliate, that carried out the attacks. It also fleshes out the reasons why Aznar's government was believed to be deceiving the Spanish people, even though their position was one of caution as they continued to investigate. I highly recommend it.

    Thursday News Trio

    Taking yet another step in the normalization process, everyone's favorite wacky dictator, Muammar Qaddafi, will appear live via satellite in a panel discussion on democracy organized by Columbia University. Say what you will about Qaddafi, but I think everybody has to acknowledge that he's charismatic, and has become extremely good at sailing the winds of international politics.

    A few of you saw comments on this blog and Mo-Licious' blog last week regarding Isaac Hayes finking out on his part on South Park. This incident, and the response to it, should prove one thing, if nothing else: don't piss Trey Parker and Matt Stone off. Hell, I'm going to invite them to my birthday party, and they can bring whatever color of Mega Man they want!

    And Somalia is still a god-forsaken war-zone. Maybe we should start a petition to get the French to colonize the place, that always seems to do a lot of good for struggling African nations.

    Fly Report: 23rd March 2006

    Good morning. I find your lack of faith disturbing.

    It's 39° Fahrenheit with clouds in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 36° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

    The average price of oil is $61.76 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.75 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Amos 5. The Fly is currently reading The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis.

    I wanted to run, but she made me crawl.

    22 March 2006

    The Infamous List

    I'm poised to accomplish something for a third day in a row that, until Monday, I hadn't accomplished literally in months: I am poised to accomplish everything on my "To Do" list. Each day (save for the weekend, which is lumped together) has the following items:

  • PT
  • Bible
  • News
  • Read
  • Write

    Additional items such as social engagements, work, and errands or special tasks are listed as necessary. Today's list includes both work and polishing my dress shoes. Here's how things are going so far:

  • PT (probably a long walk, possibly a bike ride)
  • Bible (Amos 4, already read already)
  • News (Fox, CNN, BBC, AFP SpaceWar, all of them scanned)
  • Read (The Problem of Pain chapter four, "Human Wickedness", already read already)
  • Write (could be a letter, could be some work on one of my other writing projects)
  • Work (17:00 to 20:00 at the office, should be low impact)
  • Polish Dress Shoes (completed; combat boots were polished Monday night)

    So there you have it, folks. Seven items, more than half of which are done. Good to go? Good to go. It's great to have that kind of motivation again, and every day that I accomplish everything on my list, I have that much more motivation to do it again the next day. For what it's worth, I make this list out pretty much every week on a 3"x5" note card. I have a shit ton of old ones sitting around. Even so, I'm still not as nerdy as this wanker.
  • Ask Me No Question...

    ... And I'll tell you no lie. Then again, if you ask a question, I still won't tell you a lie. I was offline most of the day yesterday on account of errands and appointments, so I didn't do Reader Question Tuesday. So, today, if you have any questions (none of which can require math, sheesh), go ahead and post them, and tune back in later for the answers.

    Go ahead. Surprise me, you filthy bastard(s)!

    Sahara Hippies

    If you're driving through the Sahara Desert, terrorizing the poor desert animals with John Lennon songs and chants of "give peace a chance", and you're planning on passing through Libya with your band of merry men (including an Israeli fighter pilot and an official Uday Hussein look-alike), do yourself a favor: get a damn visa.

    What a bunch of jerkoffs.

    Fly Report: 22nd March 2006

    Good morning. If you elect me, I'll help to make this the best senior year ever!

    It's 34° Fahrenheit with partial clouds in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 31° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

    The average price of oil is $62.03 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.75 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Amos 4. The Fly is currently reading The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis.

    I got lies to feed, they want skin and seed, now don't make me crawl.

    21 March 2006

    Ze French Strike Again!

    In yet another veritable orgasm of poor prioritization, the French parliament has initiated a law that would force digital music vendors to unlock proprietary programming.

    The French parliament has backed plans to give consumers more choice over music downloads from the internet.

    MPs backed a draft law to force Apple, Sony and Microsoft to share their proprietary copy-protection systems by 296 to 193 votes.

    The aim is to ensure that digital music can be played on any player, regardless of its format or source.

    The bill will now go before France's upper house, the Senate, in the coming weeks for approval before becoming law.

    Currently most online stores lock consumers into their own downloading systems and players, such as with Apple's iTunes and its iPod.

    The French bill says that proprietary copy-protection technologies must not block interoperability between different systems.

    Now, I can understand the rationale behind this, but there are two things that strike me as particularly asinine here.

    First, it seems obvious from news in the last few months that the French have bigger fish to fry than this. In just the last two weeks, they've had riots and protests over proposed changes to their employment laws. Last Autumn, they had weeks of riots that resulted in injuries, a few deaths, and damage to millions, possibly billions, of euros worth of property. Also, the French military is a complete and total joke, and in need of a major overhaul; if you don't believe me, read this or this. The French have much more important things to worry about than whether or not the songs that your neighborhood cheese and tobacco salesman downloads from Rhapsody or Napster can play on an iPod.

    Second, part of the reason for high unemployment and an otherwise lackluster economy in France is exactly this: overregulation. Establishing regulations to prevent the use of antifreeze as an ingredient in wine is one thing; public safety should be the primary goal of any government, and that's why the French should be putting more money into military development and public safety. Instead, they're pulling a Gray Davis and regulating worthless nonsense. Politics junkies will remember that Governor Schwarzenegger was voted into office in California during a recall election, because former Governor Gray Davis was so hell bent on overregulating business that the California economy was collapsing from businesses leaving the state. MP3 players, computers, and digital music (and actually, music in general) is a luxury and a convenience, not a matter of public concern. This legislation is an absolute joke.

    There are some great French folks out there, but they need to get their government squared away.

    Retiring Sea Shadow

    Lockheed Martin will receive funding for one more year of operations for the Sea Shadow, a testbed for developing technologies.

    Why did I post this article? For two reasons: it's about the Navy, and it mentions the Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies.

    Fly Report: 21st March 2006

    Good morning. What makes the grass grow? Blood!

    It's 30° Fahrenheit with clouds in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 32° Fahrenheit with snow showers.

    The average price of oil is $60.45 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.76 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Amos 3. The Fly is currently reading The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis.

    Take me higher.

    An Cat Dubh

    Say goodnight; she waits for me to put out the light
    When I'm still, she waits to break my will

    Oh oh oh oh, oh
    Oh oh oh
    Oh oh oh oh
    Oh oh oh

    Yes, and I know the truth about you, she cat

    And in the daylight, a blackbird makes a violent sight
    And when she is done, she sleeps beside the wild

    Oh oh oh oh, oh
    Oh oh oh
    Oh oh oh oh, oh
    Oh oh oh

    Yes, and I know the truth, about you, she cat

    (Two sides sing song then, to fight)

    Oh oh oh oh, oh
    Oh oh oh
    Oh oh oh oh, oh
    Oh oh oh
    Oh oh oh oh
    Oh oh oh

    Yes, and I know the truth, about you
    - Pontifex Maximus, "An Cat Dubh"

    British Political Chicanery

    Just when you thought Poosh's people couldn't get any more asinine. Then again, this is probably comparable to the incident with then-Senator Richard Nixon and Checkers. Interestingly enough, Checkers has made two appearances in animated pop culture. First, The Simpsons...

    Bart: Is there a doggie hell?
    Homer: Well... Of course, there couldn't be a heaven if there weren't a hell.
    Bart: Who's in there?
    Homer: Oh, uh... Hitler's dog... and that dog Nixon had, what's his name, um, Chester...
    Lisa: Checkers.
    Homer: Yeah! One of the Lassies is in there, too. The mean one! The one that mauled Jimmy!

    ... and there was this episode of SNL in which the TV Funhouse sketch of the Ex-Presidents led to the resurrection of a super Richard Nixon, along with Checkers the Cocker Spaniel. Both were wearing capes, if I remember correctly.

    For what it's worth, a cape looks hilarious on a dog.

    20 March 2006

    Regional Character

    I don't remember who I was discussing this with, but recently I had a conversation with someone, possibly even someone who reads and comments here on the blog, about the character of various regional cultures. What do I mean?

    Well, take for example the culture of the West Coast. I'm from the West Coast, so I know a bit about it. In Oregon, Washington, and Idaho, you will find largely the same cultural character. Now, you'll have your various outposts of peculiarity with comparison to the rest of the region; for example, one would not expect the same definition of cultural normalcy in Seattle, Washington; or Portland or Eugene, Oregon. That having been disclaimed, these areas are, for the most part, defined by a culture descended from tough, hard working people who took the Oregon Trail to the Oregon Territory in the 1830's in order to procure farm land. The work was hard, they knew it was going to be hard going into it, and the culture inherent to the area was forged from the character of people who came and settled with an ultimate goal of conquering a savage, untamed land.

    Then, you have California. Never part of the Oregon Territory, California was little more than a barren desert that had once been claimed and overseen by the Spanish. That changed, however, when a German named Sutter found gold. Pretty soon, every derelict and wannabe adventurer was using any means necessary, be it overland or by sea, to get to California in hopes of striking it rich with little or no actual effort or talent. The difference in location between San Francisco, California and Bend, Oregon is a matter of a few hundred miles, but the difference in culture is astonishing. Whereas Idahoans, Oregonians, and Washingtonians have developed a culture based originally on hard work and agriculture, California has developed the kind of culture one would expect from the descendants of compulsive lottery players.

    Is there any question that I'm not a huge fan of California?

    The point, though, is that we sometimes pay too little attention to what factors originated certain cultures. We look at the Northeast, New England, and people like myself or Mo-Licious or Aaron will point out how liberal it is. Is that any surprise when you consider that the original Old World settlers of New England were the malcontents, religious dissenters, and sometimes even prisoners who fled Europe, and particularly England, because they were sick of the old way of doing things? New England exists in the first place because England was, at that point, too conservative and unchanging for the tastes of these people; their solution was to found a batch of colonies and establish new ways of doing things.

    And of course, it goes beyond America. England, for example, developed into the nation it is today through a combination of geographic separation from the rest of Europe, and relative ease of overland travel; their diversity comes from the requirement, both for protection and for trade, that they maintain a strong naval force. This led to exploration and the search for new markets, which led to involvement in India, the Middle East, Hong Kong, et cetera.

    And the French? Well, there has to be a black sheep in every good hypothesis. In the case of the French, I blame the wine.

    Iraq Isn't Hopeless

    There are a lot of doom and gloom articles around the Internet today that are painting a dire picture of the the situation in Iraq. Most of them are on news agencies like the Associated Press, CNN, the BBC, et cetera, which opposed the Iraq War in the first place. Well, Newsweek is usually worthless, but this article is worth reading.

    Now, I don't agree completely with the author; I think that the "theoretical" claims about the implementation of the Bush Administration's Iraq policy are overstated, the criticism of the size and makeup of the invading force is ignorant, and the claims that it was American policies that limited the size of the initial coalition are flat out nonsense. However, that's not the point.

    I agree with his central message: the Iraq War may have cost us more at this point than we initially believed it would, but it was still the right thing to do. It sought to correct policies that weren't working (Oil-for-Food, sanctions, U.N. inspections), it removed a brutal tyrant with an undeniable track record of state sponsorship of terrorism and pursuit of illegal weapons programs. Things are rough in Iraq, but individuals like Ayatollah Sistani, Ayad Allawi, and various other figures are leaders in the greatest sense of the word, and the situation is more promising than many critics of the Bush Administration are willing to admit.

    Go read it for yourself.

    The Savage Lands

    There are a couple of news stories that I want to bring to your attention.

    First, many of you will remember my coverage last year... Of Somali pirates! Well, the U.S. Navy has deployed a squadron of ships to the area in and around Somalia in order to fight the pirate menace. They fought an engagement this weekend (CNN, BBC) and took a number of pirates into custody. The pirates are claiming that they were patrolling in search of illegal fishermen; the Navy found small arms and RPGs, and Somalia doesn't have a government. You be the judge.

    Second, an Afghan man has been arrested for converting to Christianity (Fox, BBC, and prosecutors are seeking the death penalty under Sharia law, which is the basis for Afghanistan's legal system. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. As far as I'm concerned, he's got several things going for him.

  • He converted sixteen years ago, which means that he's hopefully exempt from punishment since his "crime" preceded the Afghan government's existence by more than a decade, which means that they (hopefully) have no jurisdiction to punish him in the first place.
  • He converted in Pakistan, which means that the "crime" didn't even happen within the borders of Afghanistan; therefore, it's once again outside their jurisdiction.

    Now, I'm not sure whether issues of jurisdiction such as those I've noted have any basis in Sharia law. I also don't know whether Afghanistan has any such thing as a statute of limitations. As I said before, it will be interesting to see how this plays out. A couple of additional thoughts:

  • As much as we all love him saying that American troops should assassinate Hugo Chavez, or that Ariel Sharon's stroke was divine retribution for Israel's unilateral withdrawal from the Gaza Strip, it would be really nice if Pat Robertson grew a pair, got some class, and ponied up the dough to pay for this guy to get first class legal representation. Christians are called to seek justice, and take care of our own; this would be a great opportunity to do it. Since Robertson doesn't have enough class to fill a thimble, I hope someone else goes to bat for this guy.
  • I have no problem with the legal systems in predominately Islamic nations being based on Islam; after all, the legal systems in the West, up until the time when multiculturalism and hippy bullshit started squeezing their way in, were/are based on Christian ideals. However, part of the problem associated with Islamic law in particular becomes apparent in cases like this, and that's why there have to be provisions for religious freedom inherent in the constitutions of nations that seek democracy.

    I think that we can all agree on one thing: for carrying around a Bible in Afghanistan, and for refusing in public to convert back to Islam, Abdul Rahman should get some sort of award for being pretty much the bravest dude I've heard about in a long time. May God protect and guide him, and may Hamid Karzai step in and bring some order and sense to this travesty.

    Oh, and by the way, I bet you can't guess what the one commonality between lying Somali pirates and bloodthirsty Afghan prosecutors is. Well, maybe you can if your name is Mo-Licious.
  • Fly Report: 20th March 2006

    Good morning. You became my power, my pleasure, my pain.

    It's 39° Fahrenheit with a chance of showers in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 29° Fahrenheit with snow showers.

    The average price of oil is $62.67 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.76 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Amos 2. The Fly is currently reading The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis.

    You don't know how you got here, you just know you want out; believing in yourself almost as much as you doubt.

    Literary Conundrum

    This afternoon at work, I finished reading Bono in Conversation. I've moved on to The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis, which I started a couple of months ago and never followed through on; I read the first chapter, after reading the brief interview with Autumn Reeser in this month's issue of Maxim.

    Seeing as how I have eleven days left in March, I'd very much like to get back on track with reading two books per month. I'm conflicted as to what I'll try next, assuming I'm able to knock out that Lewis book quickly. On my sojourn to the Lone Star State, I started two books: The Lord of the Flies by William Golding, and Globalized Islam by Olivier Roy. I got about a third of the way into the former, but I have found myself completely unable to maintain an interest. I got about seventy pages into Roy, and should really pick it back up, but it has two major disadvantages: it's translated from French to English, making it extremely tedious to read; and I disagree with Roy's reasoning and basic premise.

    Since both the Bono book, and the Lewis book, would count as leisure reading, I should lean toward resuming Roy; after all, the goal is to read one for leisure, and one for professional development. Of course, I could always just take a couple of days and finish FM 100-5: Operations; that would technically count as professional development.

    Then again, I could always say "Sod it!" and just read Josephus.

    19 March 2006

    The Height of Nerdery

    I've been accused before of being a nerd. I've posted this link before, to demonstrate that I'm nowhere near as nerdy as I could be.

    This morning, I saw this article, and realized that I barely even have nerd leanings; it's folks like these who represent the highest level of nerdery.