31 August 2007

Fly Report: 31st August 2007

Good morning. May she be hit by a double decker bus, in God's mercy.

It's 55° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 70° Fahrenheit with clouds.

The average price of oil is $72.86 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.02 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 34. The Fly is reading Imperial Grunts by Robert Kaplan - Doctor No is finally finished!

I went with nothing but the thought you'd be there, too.

30 August 2007

Reconnected to the World

Ladies and gentlemen, the Fly is connected to the Inter(net(s)/web) at warp ****ing speed. The guy from Cox Communications was here little more than an hour ago, and in that time I've gotten both my cable modem and my wireless router all set up. Unlike the folks whose access I was borrowing for the last month or so, I have my router named and password locked. The name? Fly's S2 Shop. I know what you're thinking, Mo, and yes, I am that nerdy.

29 August 2007

End of the Tunnel

Hey folks! Just a quick update, then it's back underground for a couple more days. The cable company is coming by on Thursday afternoon to help me get my Internet access set up. I should be back up and running like a champ by Thursday night, which means that Fly Reports should resume Friday morning.

Last night was a great night, in that I did two important things: I went for a long walk (about forty minutes total - not as long as I like, but it's a start, and it helps me to get in the habit), and I got my MP3 player working again. (The computer had stopped talking to it for no apparent reason.) In a strange twist of fate, it was Windows Media Player that saved the day, triumphing over Yahoo! Jukebox. Score one for Bill and the boys.

I'll try to check in tonight if I'm able to get online for a bit. Until then, keep reaching for the skies, and if you need some reading material, go check out Michael Yon's latest dispatch.

26 August 2007

Connection Issues Continue

Hey folks. I'm writing this from Starbucks ($3.99 for two hours? What a racket!), where I've just finished my long-intended article on two Iranian opposition groups and what they could mean to American efforts toward Iran. I've submitted it to the site I'm writing for.

The connection problem at the house has gotten very bad, so I'll be calling Cox Communications on Monday in order to get myself connected. Not having reliable service, even at 56k like I was on at Zoo Station, is completely out of the question. Hopefully I won't have any issue posting Fly Reports this week, but if I miss one or two don't be too worried.

Once I have the connection figured out, I'll finally post that two-parter about Germany and Japan, and then post this recent article about Iran. In the mean time, have a great weekend, and a happy Monday if you don't hear from me tomorrow morning.

24 August 2007

Fly Report: 24th August 2007

Good morning. Give me a reason for life and for death, and a reason for drowning while I hold my breath.

It's 54° Fahrenheit and cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 73° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $69.47 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.99 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 34. The Fly is reading Imperial Grunts by Robert Kaplan - Doctor No is finally finished!

What do you want?

23 August 2007

The Savage Nation

Hey folks! One quick note this morning: I reached another shortwave radio milestone last night. After literally "listening" to every bolt of lightning crackle on shortwave during a Tuesday night electrical storm, I fired up the Grundig FR 200 again last night. After a whole lot of nothing (most of it in Spanish!), I stumbled across the Voice of the Islamic Republic for the first time.

It was mostly propaganda, of course; Attorney General Gonzalez under indictment, trapped miners in Utah, US occupation forces failing in Iraq, people being "martyred" in "Palestine". The major take-away, though, is that it's a signal that I was never able to pick up in California, so I was really excited to pick it up here; and I'm guessing my good friend Father Time probably hasn't been able to get it back in Hometown, so I'm sure he'll be impressed!

Fly Report: 23rd August 2007

Good morning. Not being nearly destitute is a pretty swell feeling.

It's 54° Fahrenheit and cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 67° Fahrenheit with isolated thunder storms.

The average price of oil is $68.85 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.99 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 33. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

Something is about to give.

22 August 2007

Fly Report: 22nd August 2007

Good morning. I'm having trouble understanding Jane.

It's 54° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 71° Fahrenheit with isolated thunder storms.

The average price of oil is $69.15 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.98 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 32. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

I wonder what's gonna happen to you.

21 August 2007

Collective Gasp

Hey folks! No, you're not seeing things: there was no Fly Report today. I've been having issues with availability on my "borrowed" network. If the problem persists, I may have to start troubleshooting a different solution. Stay tuned, and if push comes to shove, I'll make intermittent posts from Starbucks or Panera or something.

20 August 2007

Fly Report: 20th August 2007

Good morning. Now, more than once the town has discovered painting over it ain't no use; there ain't no paint in the world that'll cover it, the heart keeps showing through.

It's 52° Fahrenheit and cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 78° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

The average price of oil is $70.80 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.98 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 30. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

There is no fiction that will truly fit the situation.

19 August 2007

Dominion Fly: One Month On

I've finally downloaded music for my Sansa Connect mp3 player. I think I spent about fifty bucks; a lot, but I had the money to spare, and what's the point of spending so much money on a gadget if you can't actually use it? Although I'm not extremely impressed with the selection offered by Yahoo(!) Music, their selection was sufficient to allow me to get some decent stuff; a number of U2 songs, some Chris Isaak, a couple of Proclaimers songs, some stuff by the Spin Doctors - the essentials.

A side note: Amazon has the same item I bought at Circuit City listed for almost half what I paid for it. That makes my skin crawl. Folks like Father Time and Mighty Mo know how frugal I am, and how much I love getting a good deal on things.

There are a few more items I wanted to touch on.

A few days ago I answered my "big sister" Mo's challenge to give a list of my top five "thinking bloggers". One website I omitted, in part because I forgot and in part because it's not really a traditional blog, is Michael Yon Online. Yon is a former member of America's special forces, and while he is not a professional journalist, he has embedded with various coalition units (including the Queen's Royal Lancers, as I linked to a couple months ago). Unlike other "journalists" embedded in Iraq who ignore the important stories, or never leave their hotels, Yon is out there, on the ground, regularly posting his dispatches. He's more honest about the risks and the dangers of our operations in Iraq than most journalists (in large part because he's actually there, where the action is happening), but he also gives real, tangible evidence to demonstrate that the situation is improving more than any of the so-called experts want to admit. I highly recommend his site, as it's one of few that I've become actively interested in.

I've mentioned my "Major League Infidel" shirt several times on this blog. I just found out a couple of days ago that they're now making it in tan. I plan to order a tan one tomorrow. I've also received the shirts I noted in a post last week, and I'm really satisfied with them. I may try to get a couple of pictures one of these days for all to see.

I saw an interesting article on MSN yesterday, which is saying something since I usually think that their "articles" are absolute rubbish. It's about what a person's car says about their personality. I ran through a few of them, and I have to say that their appraisal of me (SUV owners) is pretty much right on: organized, prepared for just about anything, ready for both emergencies and spontaneous adventure.

In the next couple of days, I'll put together the two completed halves of my article on Germany and Japan, and post the complete version on here. In the mean time, stay safe.

17 August 2007

Fly Report: 17th August 2007

Good morning. In once saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread.

It's 50° Fahrenheit and cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 80° Fahrenheit with isolated thunder storms.

The average price of oil is $70.52 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.98 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 29. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

I've got CCTV, pornography, CNBC; I've got the nightly news to get to know the enemy.

16 August 2007

Fly Report: 16th August 2007

Good morning. You can never have too many jackal heads.

It's 52° Fahrenheit and rainy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 90° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $71.69 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.99 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 28. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

Don't you worry about your mind!

15 August 2007

Nerds on the Teevee

One of my co-workers has introduced me to a nerd toy that has developed into a bona fide nerd culture phenomenon: STIKFAS. Apparently these things (which I've "field tested", and give my seal of approval to) have been around for years; as a result, there's an entire underground Internet community that revolves around them. The result? You guessed it: YouTube videos. Check out "War and Pieces", part one and part two.

One hilarious nerd video that predates YouTube is Troops, a COPS parody with a Star Wars theme. Speaking of nerd culture, I found evidence last night that there's another sub-culture: of gorgeous babes who dress up like characters from Star Wars. Not safe for work, gentlemen.

Just a reminder to everyone out there to participate in Operation Grim.

Fly Report: 15th August 2007

Good morning. I'm on a Mexican, radio. I'm on a Mexican, whoa, radio.

It's 54° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 86° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $71.64 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.00 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 27. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

All this, you can leave behind.

14 August 2007

Fly Report: 14th August 2007

Good morning. Challenge. Endure. Conquer.

It's 55° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 88° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

The average price of oil is $71.20 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.01 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is very cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 26. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

And I wish you were here, to see what I could see.

13 August 2007

Fly Report: 13th August 2007

Good morning. I wonder where you are; I wonder if you think about me, once upon a time, in your wildest dreams.

It's 55° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 90° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $71.20 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.02 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 25. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

Stranger, stranger in a strange land; he looked at me like I was the one who should run.

Operation GRIM

Hey folks! Yesterday, as I was collecting links for the section of my post that detailed top five thinking bloggers, I ended up clicking on one of BLACKFIVE's banners. I read the linked page and learned about Operation GRIM. The guys at Ranger Up, a patriotic clothing company run by former and current military guys, are selling shirts to raise money for the Wounded Warrior Project. The WWP is a non-profit that raises money to help service personnel who have had their lives drastically altered by their service in the War on Terror.

Operation GRIM is aimed at getting Grace (one of the Ranger Up guys' friends/models) and Tim Kennedy (an International Fight League competitor and Iraq War Veteran) into the pages of Maxim to promote the WWP. Whether you're a supporter of the Iraq War (like me), or a legitimate and patriotic skeptic (like Father Time, we can all agree that patriotic Americans have an obligation to mitigate the impact of the wounds our brave young heroes sustain as much as we possibly can. The WWP is doing this, and helping out with Operation GRIM is a great way to help... Plus, it gets another really hot chick into Maxim, which is a great thing.

There are two ways to help:

(1) Buy an Operation GRIM shirt. They're stylish, not cheesy white cotton with an insidious logo on the front; plus every penny of profit goes to the WWP.

(2) If you're a blogger, consider putting either a link or an Operation GRIM banner on your blog. By the time any of you read this, I will have placed mine in my sidebar. For several of you who are reading this, you could probably stand to dress up your blog a little bit by putting a picture of a hot girl with an assault rifle on it.*

Long-time readers will know that I try to support the military in whatever way I can - to the point of moving to the People's Republic of California. This is a great way for you to help our young heroes, and you don't even have to move to the middle of the desert. If you only choose option one, you get a shirt out of the deal; if you only choose option two, all you're out is a few keystrokes and a couple of mouse clicks. If you choose both, you get a shirt and you're only out a few keystrokes and less cash than it would take to buy a season of South Park. Please, spread the word about this.

* Not you, Mo; except for needing to update your archive tab, your blog has the best design ever.

12 August 2007

The Return of Mudflap!?

It was probably inevitable: Mudflap found me on Facebook. I've mentioned her a few times here on the blog - she was one of the girls I dated in high school, and then she refused to leave me alone. Well, despite the fact that we've had no communication for something like a year, she uploaded her Hotmail address book and there I was. I've stopped posting anything and everything about CCG, but I'd say Mudflap is more than fair game.

The Fly 11:31pm August 10th
Um... Okay, you're obviously not a spam/phishing account since you have a picture. Do I know you?

Given the town she'd listed as her hometown, and her first name, I was positive that I knew who it was; but being a cunning Super Fly, I was compelled not to play my hand too early in the game. Her response follows.

Mudflap 11:43pm August 10th
Actually you do. I have no idea how to work this damn facebook so it searched everyone in my email address book. This is [Married Name], you may remember me as [Maiden Name].

Aha! The game is afoot. My carefully composed reaction?

The Fly Today at 4:37pm
Oh, okay. Hey, I tried to E-Mail you a few months back. I'd really like to mail your dad a letter. I hope that he's doing okay, I remember you saying he'd been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. If you could give me his mailing address, that would be great.

Do you see what I did there? Instead of acknowledging her personally, I responded by talking about her dad. Mudflap's dad is one of the top ten coolest guys I've ever met, bar none. He's missing most of one of his index fingers, he was in the Coast Guard during Vietnam and he and his shipmates would put a facade of sticks and leaves on their cutter and go on riverine "duck patrol" with their shotguns. He had the hatch from either a Victory Ship or a Liberty Ship, and had made it into a table. When he was a trucker, he'd set up his video camera and make "Road Man" videos, which inspired me to do something similar for a couple of A/V club projects in high school (one of which he actually saw, and I taped his reaction for the second one). Having only met me once or twice at the time, and knowing I was going to join the Navy in an officer program, he bought me a copy of The Naval Officer's Guide for Christmas; I still have it, and it's one of the best gifts I've ever received. Okay, her response...

Mudflap Today at 8:20pm
Yes, he's doing good though. He stopped working and now he just projects around the house...and he is on the USCG volunteer thing now to keep himself busy. I'm doing great, thanks for asking. :) Not that you care, but I'll give you a quick run down. Stopped being a cop because I kept passing out before work, they couldn't find out what was wrong with me. I plan on getting back into it once my baby is born. I'm having a boy! He'll be due in a couple weeks. Oh yeah, I"m married, [Husband's Name], he's a Sgt. in the Marine Corp and is a combat instructor for the school of infantry. Other than that.. just hanging out. Hope everything is well with you. Love to hear what you're up to these days. Have you wrote a book yet? I've always wondered when I'd see one from you on the Best Sellers aisle in Booksamillion. You always were a talented writer. Anyway, my dad's address is...

I knew she was either engaged or married, though I didn't know that it was to a Marine. So, Mudflap's going to start having kids. Just what we need. The irony of this, of course, is that someone as cool as her dad could have a child as screwed up as Mudflap. At any rate, my latest response follows.

The Fly Today at 11:25pm
Thanks for the address, I'll try to write him a letter and send it this week. I wouldn't say I think about him a lot, but he does come to mind every now and again and I've thought about how much I wanted to write him a letter to let him know what's happened with me over the last few years. I'm glad to hear that he's doing well despite the Parkinson's issue.

Again, no acknowledgment of her, her husband, her baby. I have tried to make it clear to this girl for about seven years now that I have no desire for any contact with her, so the theory is that reiterating that I'm interested in talking to her dad, while completely ignoring anything and everything about her, may just convince her to let it go, once and for all.

If Mudflap decides to continue, I'll probably continue to update you folks. In the mean time, I have to go to bed; I have an article due at noon tomorrow, and I want to spend at least part of my Sunday enjoying the weekend. God bless those individuals who guarantee my set-in-stone work schedule!

11 August 2007

Technological Devolution

I have several points to cover in this post, and several of them revolve around YouTube. I reiterate that I honestly believe that YouTube is just another Internet fad, just like blogging or MySpace, and will have no more long-term significance than anything else. That having been said...

* * *

It appears that BBC News is falling further into obscurity and obsolescence. Why do I say this? They've been reduced to covering what the latest fad video on YouTube is. A few weeks ago, a prime sidebar story was the Filipino prison Thriller video (you can watch it here). Two days ago, I noted another YouTube video in the sidebar: the so-called Battle at Kruger (you can see it here).

Honestly, I know that news services cover fake news (and not Jon Stewart style fake news) when there's too little real news to cover; or when they don't have the resources or the motivation to cover really important stories; but isn't covering what's hot on YouTube going too far? I mean, really. This is beyond the time news agencies waste on stories like who's the favorite to win American Idle (no, that's not a typo), or how many minutes Paris Hilton has spent in jail, or which stint in rehab Lindsay Lohan is on.

I'm all for the occasional public interest story, because let's face it: people like me, who pay almost no attention to stories about kittens nursing orphan squirrel babies or who's dating who in Hollyweird, are miserable from seeing so many stories about how the world is a savage and barbaric place. There can't possibly be anyone of any intellectual worth saying to themselves, "I wish CNN would cover more popular YouTube videos, because that's the best and most important use of their financial news-gathering resources."

In a completely unrelated story, here's a hot Japanese chick doing sexy mouth exercises while not speaking a word of English. Moshi moshi? Indeed!

* * *

In yet another promotion of mindless consumerism, Yahoo(!) gives us the guide to Must Have Road Trip Gadgets. It almost makes me sick to my stomach. Ladies and gentlemen, I just finished the mother of all road trips: coast to coast. Did I need a digital camera, or a waterproof digital camcorder? No, in spite of having a brand new digital camera (I hate digital photography, I think it's ruining the discipline, but my parents got me one for my birthday), I think that I took less than five pictures during the entire duration of the trip.

An iPhone? What possible use could an iPhone have on a road trip - that is to say, what use does it have beyond what can be provided by last week's gadgets of an mp3 player (I'll admit, more compact and convenient than a discman) and your existing mobile phone? Even Maddox, who's usually too busy doing book signings and writing his own comic books, has weighed in on this issue, and given fairly fair comparisons between his year-old phone and the iPhone. The core issue, though, is this: the iPhone as a "must have road trip gadget"? Absolutely not.

When I did my road trip, there was only one essential gadget in my arsenal: the Garmin eTrex GPS. It was an invaluable tool, and actually stopped me from getting hopelessly lost on a couple of occasions when coupled with a road atlas. That's right, ladies and gentlemen: no chintzy dashboard GPS that does the work for me and negates my own innate need to learn how to find places myself. For crying out loud, Yahoo(!) users only gave the TomTom Go 910 three and a half stars! How can something be essential if it got the equivalent of a C grade from people who have actually used it?

Headed out for a road trip? Skip the high-priced gadgets, buy a road atlas (and maybe a handheld GPS, though even that should be considered a luxury), maybe get yourself a reasonably priced Grundig FR200 (no batteries required, and you can use headphones), and pack your rucksack. If you need anything fancier than that, you should probably just stay home.

* * *

Another "tech" article I saw was this one about laptops at college. I started my stint at [Generic State University] in September of 2000, and I was one of the few folks who actually brought a laptop to class. Throughout my time in school, I used my laptop for various tasks, primarily note-taking. In fact, folks like the great Peter, Anachronism and Shamrock can testify to the quality of my notes.

I think it's fascinating that there are actually instructors who are banning laptops in their classrooms. There have been astonishing advances in technology, particularly wireless connectivity, since I bought my first laptop. There has also been an astonishing decline in the quality, dedication, and scholarship of university students over the last twenty or thirty years. Academic credentials have transitioned from an "above and beyond" phenomenon for highly qualified and motivated young people, into a near-essential follow-up to a high school education. Therefore, as usual, I don't blame technology for distracting students - instead, I blame students for being in college without sufficient reason in the first place.

* * *

My "big sister", Mighty Mo, has tagged me in a recent post as one of five blogs that make her think and/or laugh on a daily basis. The tag obligates me to pick five "thinking blogger" favorites of my own, so they are as follows.

  • Mo-Licious - Not all of her posts make me think, but a lot of them do, and when she's not posting about the cats, or whatever Delighla's done lately (those posts are hilarious, of course), she'll post things that really make me consider how complex people can be... Or in many cases, how stupid they can be.
  • Bane Rants - I'm not always on the same page as Bane... But I am more often than I might admit. A grizzled old bastard, Bane can go from reminiscing about his days as a military badass to describing the measures he goes to in order to remind his son (who has some special needs) that he's amazing and special. If that's not a thinking blogger, I don't know what is.
  • BLACKFIVE - I don't read this blog near as often as I should, but every time I do I'm reminded of just why America is so amazing. Originally started by one outstanding soldier, BLACKFIVE now features several different authors. These guys also do a lot of great things to support our guys who are fighting overseas, and combine an educated view of world politics with an "on the ground truth" perspective - too few sources show only one or the other, and it takes both to put things into context.
  • Iraq the Model - This is another blog I visit far too rarely. It's run by two Iraqi brothers (I'm not sure whether the third is still posting, I know that he had withdrawn from the project at some point) and they give an honest, optimistic view of the things that are happening in that country. Honestly, it's one of the most important blogs on the Internet.
  • Free Will Blog - A few years ago, I got into blogging after stumbling upon a blog that will rename nameless, that seemed to espouse many of the values and priorities I had decided on for myself. Through that blog (which eventually deteriorated to complete irrelevance), I found Aaron's Free Will Blog, which was and continues to be one of the finest (and most underrated) blogs I've ever had the privilege to read. Aaron combines keen wit with class and coherent thought, instead of throwing pointless rants into the mix for the sake of drama. Definitely one of my favorite thinking bloggers.

    I can say for a fact that only one of the bloggers I listed reads my blog, so I won't try to tag them. Go check them out.

    * * *

    My aforementioned "big sister" is fond of saying "I love me some internets". I had an "I love me some internets" moment this week.

    One of the things I've been doing since I arrived at Van Dieman's Station is planning a trip to the United Kingdom. As many of you know, I spent several months in the United Kingdom a few years ago, and it didn't do much to smash the so-called "travel bug". I'm not like several of my friends, who refuse to get a real job or stop going to school because they'd rather be traveling and having fun. Of course, that doesn't mean that I can't take a long holiday, right? So, as a sort of mental exercise regimen, I've been doing budget forecasting, geographical routing, and other preparations for a notional trip.

    One of the things I want to do is retrace my steps from my two trips and get not only addresses, but also MGRS coordinates, for all of the places I've stayed. Now, regardless of my normally stellar memory for things like this, the intervening time has dulled a few of my memories. As I've compiled a list of the various places where I stayed over the course of two different trips, I've come up with a list of seventeen cities in four different countries. The challenge, then, is scrutinizing old travel guides and, when I get back home next, old receipts and brochures in order to determine precisely where I've been.

    Where do the "internets" come into play? I was able to use a combination of several websites Thursday night to find two of the eighteen addresses I'll need in compiling my list. One in particular, a bed and breakfast in Shanklin (on the British Isle of Wight), was a challenge because it was the Whore*, not myself, who made the original reservation. Using a combination of WikiMapia and a British bed and breakfast directory, I was able to locate the Avenue Hotel. Also using the aforementioned mapping site, I was able to find enough information to locate the Hotel Principe Di Piemonte, where Friar Dave and I stayed during our expedition to Rome for Spring Break '03.

    Am I completely and totally bored? Probably. Is this further proof that I need a wife, or at least a steady girlfriend? Possibly. Is my big sister, Mighty Mo, going to leave a snarky comment and make fun of me for this? Highly likely. For various reasons, though, there is a legitimate use for this information... Well, at least the addresses. The MGRS coordinates are beyond OCD.

    * * *

    I have more things to post, but that's probably sufficient for now. My article on the declining pacifism of Germany and Japan will be posted, in its entirety, early next week. In the mean time, seize the weekend!

    * The Whore has been known previously as The Mirror. I'm not sure whether or not the reference change will be permanent.
  • 10 August 2007

    Fly Report: 10th August 2007

    Good morning. It is truly an honor and a privilege for me to be here at Pinehurst School, or whatever your school is called today.

    It's 52° Fahrenheit and mostly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 88° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

    The average price of oil is $70.72 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.03 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

    Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 24. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

    Leave it behind.

    09 August 2007

    Fly Report: 09th August 2007

    Good morning. Oktoberfest is for tossers and sheep shaggers!

    It's 55° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 67° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

    The average price of oil is $71.53 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.04 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is lame. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

    Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 23. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

    I'm not the only one staring at the sun.

    Before Wednesday Sleep

    When I went to Fox News this morning to do my morning news check, I wasn't quite expecting their top story to give me a big picture of Adolf Hitler. That's a little bit much for 05:50.

    I've been thinking lately about a website that Sarah Canuck sent me back when I was living at home. I finally found it: Letters at Large. Basically, this dude gets bored and writes these bizarre letters to companies and organizations. It's really hilarious, particularly his letter to the American Philatelic Society.

    MSN/Newsweek has a feature, if you can call it that, where an author has interviewed gun owners, who have given sound bytes about why they own guns. The way the media approaches this, you'd think these folks had trenches, pre-ranged mortars, barbed wire, and fighting positions outside their homes.

    For some reason, people are making a lot of noise lately about Kelly Clarkson, and about her weight in particular. I'd like to go on record as saying I think she looks great, I think she always has, and she's a welcome change from skin-covered skeletons like Paris Hilton - a welcome change in pretty much every way, actually.

    I'm a bit surprised at the comments I've gotten lately. I put up a handful of hilarious 300-related videos, and the only comments I got were regarding my rant against John Mayer. To Father Time, I say: I've never heard more than a few seconds of Tom Waits singing, and that was on accident. The only song of his I ever heard was a Hootie and the Blowfish cover of "I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You", and I think it's a great song.

    Peter, a distinguished patriot, noted the presence of the Maxim coffee table on the Stuff Fly Wants list. There's actually a simple explanation for this. When I was living in England, one of my co-workers had a coffin that he'd salvaged, and he'd put shelves in it, stood it up, and used it as a book case, so to speak. I've thought ever since then that a fully functional coffin would make an excellent table, at least for a long time; and after that, it could be used as my final bed. Morbid? Not really. Functional? Absolutely. Now, a $4000 Maxim Coffee Table might not be quite what I had in mind, but it's the closest thing on the actual market to what I was looking for at the time.

    I need to go to bed. More tomorrow.

    08 August 2007

    Fly Report: 08th August 2007

    Good morning. Spotted owls are stupid.

    It's 52° Fahrenheit and rainy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 84° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

    The average price of oil is $72.00 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.02 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

    Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 22. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming.

    I'll give you what I hold dear.

    07 August 2007

    Stuff Fly Wants: Early August 2007

    Field Gear
  • Grundig Mini 100 PE - $40.00 (Amazon price $30.00)
  • British special forces style rucksack (available at Silverman's in London, item number 35116) - £89.99
  • British SAS smock (available at Silverman's in London, item number 22001) - £90.00
  • British Desert DPM trousers and shirt
  • MARPAT Desert Utilities - $67.90
  • Six Color Desert Utilities - $39.90
  • Tiger Stripe Utilities - $39.90
  • U.S. Army ACU tan sweat-wicking uniform T-shirts (3)
  • UDT/SEAL Team Swimmer Trunks, two, size 36 - $35.95 apiece

    Miscellaneous Clothing
  • Royal Marines T-Shirt - £10.96
  • More Cowbell T-Shirt - $17.99
  • Position Wanted: Pope T-Shirt - $20.00
  • Clan Cleland tartan kilt and kilt pin - $400.00-$700.00

    Household Items
  • Xbox DVD Movie Playback Kit - $29.99
  • Union Jack
  • Amazing Pasta Maker - $39.95 [click me]
  • Walther PPK
  • Orkney satellite map
  • Britain and Ireland Map - $10.99
  • Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Middle East Map - $10.99
  • Roman Mainz Gladius
  • The Maxim Coffin Coffee Table - $4135.00

    Books
  • Travels of ibn Battutah - $18.00
  • Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNab - $7.99
  • Contact Zero by David Wolstencroft - $7.99
  • Lightning out of Lebanon by Tom Diaz and Barbara Newman - $14.96 (Amazon price $11.66)

    Entertainment
  • Best of Chris Isaak (CD & DVD) - $24.98 (Amazon price $22.99)
  • James Bond Ultimate Collection - Volumes 1, 2, 3, and 4 - $359.92 (Amazon price $234.52)
  • 24 - Seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4 - $269.92 (Amazon price $154.53)
  • Space Above and Beyond - Complete Series - $41.99 (Amazon price $36.98)
  • Reno 911! - Season 2 - $39.98 (Amazon price $31.99)
  • Firefly - Complete Series - $49.98 (Amazon price $24.97)
  • Kids in the Hall - Seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4 - $179.90 (Amazon price $155.98)
  • Gladiator Extended Edition - $39.98 (Amazon price $29.99)
  • Apocalypse Now Redux
  • Gattaca - $14.94 (Amazon price $10.99)
  • Mars Attacks! - $9.98
  • Quigley Down Under - $14.98 (Amazon price $10.99)
  • Switchfoot - Nothing is Sound - $18.99 (Amazon price $13.99)
  • Switchfoot - The Legend of Chin - $11.98
  • Remy Zero - The Golden Hum - $18.98 (Amazon price $14.99)
  • Stephanie Schneiderman - Live at Kung Fu Bakery - $15.98
  • Go-Go's - Return to the Valley of the Go-Go's - $31.98
  • Dire Straits - Alchemy - $27.98 (Amazon price $24.99)
  • Anastacia - Anastacia - $23.99
  • Mystical Chants of Carmel by the Carmelite Monks - $18.95
  • Fly Report: 07th August 2007

    Good morning. You're just one more hand-me-down, 'cause no one's tried to give you what you need.

    It's 52° Fahrenheit and rainy with wind, in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 85° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

    The average price of oil is $71.61 per barrel, down a whopping three dollars from yesterday. The exchange rate is $2.04 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

    Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 21. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

    And I understand these winds and tides.

    06 August 2007

    Fly Remarks

    Okay, so I've been in Virginia for almost three weeks, and done almost no blogging (save for Fly Reports). Here are a few things worth ranting about, Bane style.

    * * *

    Having been reminded by my friend Jake, I went to Target yesterday and purchased my very own copy of 300. Even though I remembered that it was awesome, I'd forgotten just how awesome it is. Despite being somewhat inaccurate, this film does better to capture the spirit of those ancient Spartan warriors than most historians could ever hope.

    Interestingly enough, the traitor Theron looks remarkably like the Geico caveman.

    It's also spawned any number of hilarious parodies on YouTube. One, for example, combines 300 with the hit television comedy The Office to get The 305. Another great parody that's too good to miss is LisaNova does 300; I think she's some sort of YouTube celebrity or something. My favorite, though, is simply titled "300 Trailer - Best Parody EVER", and you can watch it below.


    Now that's comedy.

    * * *

    For those of you who didn't catch the hilarity of today's Fly Report, you can check out her post on the subject. For the record, I thought her post (particularly the picture) was delightful, and I actually think it's very fitting... And not redneck at all, though it's pretty entertaining.

    * * *

    I've finally written half of my article on the declining pacifism of Japan and Germany. Thanks to my old buddy, Shamrock, I've stumbled into a regular writing gig. It's unpaid, but it's a good opportunity to get exposure doing journalistic and analytical writing. I won't reveal the spot on the blog due to my long-standing policy of anonymity, but I'll continue to post my articles here as well. The first half should be posted by the end of the week, and the second half some time next week.

    * * *

    Twice today, I've heard John Mayer's "Waiting on the World to Change". Now, I think John Mayer is a very talented musician; I've actually seen him in concert (stop laughing, Father Time), and I thought his performance on Chappelle's Show was absolutely hilarious. I can't, however, get onboard with the lyrics of this song. "Now we see everything that's going wrong with the world and those who lead it"? "One day our generation is gonna rule the population"?

    Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it a bad idea to pay attention to the political and philosophical musings of a thirty year-old college dropout who dated Jessica Simpson? As for his generation ruling the population... Well, let me put it this way: President Clinton pretty much ruined John Mayer's chances of having any political power in the future, because Clinton's legacy will do nothing to encourage the political ambitions of middle-aged blues musicians.

    I'm also curious why so many women adore John Mayer. He looks like a slob to me. I've had two girlfriends who absolutely loved him; I'll admit, he's got some good music, but I honestly don't see what the attraction is. I guess that means that it's me that's waiting... For the women of my generation to come to their senses. Oh, and for pizza, sometimes.

    * * *

    I swear, by the courage of brave King Leonidas, that I will post my highly sought-after Stuff Fly Wants list tomorrow. Until then, it's off to Starbucks to do some reading and writing.

    Fly Report: 06th August 2007

    Good morning. You might be a redneck if you purchase a St. Francis of Assisi medallion for your dog.

    It's 52° Fahrenheit and rainy with wind, in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 83° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

    The average price of oil is $74.71 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.04 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

    Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 21. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

    One man betrayed with a kiss.

    03 August 2007

    Fly Report: 03rd August 2007

    Good morning. I did it my way.

    It's 55° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 83° Fahrenheit with scattered thunder storms.

    The average price of oil is $76.38 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.03 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

    Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 20. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

    I went out riding, down that old eight lane; I passed by a thousand signs, looking for my own name.

    02 August 2007

    Fly Report: 02nd August 2007

    Good morning. You can hold me when I'm scared, but you won't always be there.

    It's 52° Fahrenheit and rainy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 83° Fahrenheit with isolated thunder storms.

    The average price of oil is $75.95 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.03 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

    Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 19. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

    You're living like it's the last night on Earth.

    01 August 2007

    Fly Report: 01st August 2007

    Good morning. Show me what it's like to be the last one standing.

    It's 57° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 82° Fahrenheit with afternoon thunder storms.

    The average price of oil is $77.99 per barrel. The exchange rate is $2.04 for £1, or £0.49 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

    Today's scripture reading is Ezekiel 18. The Fly is reading Doctor No by Ian Fleming - very slowly.

    I know the truth about you.

    Fly Notes: MP3 Players and the Simpsons Movie

    A couple of things.

    First, for those of you who don't use Hotmail, MSN has an article about choosing an mp3 player. Given that both Mo and I have recently gotten mp3 players, I took some interest in the article. Once I've really settled down, I'll start putting a few songs on mine here or there. I'm a little bit disappointed so far with Yahoo!'s Launchcast radio, which I can't seem to get to work on any public wifi network (including the one n my own flat, which will log my computer on just fine, but not my mp3 player). For the record, I got a Sansa Connect because it featured online radio through Launchcast (as mentioned, a work in progress), it was smaller than the Microsoft portable brick (uh, I mean video/mp3 player), and it wasn't made by Apple. Anyway, I haven't read all of the article yet, but I may comment further on this subject.

    * * *

    Second, I wanted to answer Peter's comment about the Simpsons movie.

    Saw the Simpsons movie on Sunday. Have you seen? I'd be interested to hear your take on it. I rather enjoyed it, but I was a little disappointed that the audience around me seemed to respond a lot more enthusiastically to the low-brow humor than to the more sophisticated humor that, for me, sets the Simpsons apart from other shows.

    I agree wholeheartedly with my distinguished colleague on this one: one of the strengths of The Simpsons has always been that it was a strong blend of obscure cultural references and classic slapstick, among other types of comedy. Until it got really inane a few years back, The Simpsons was a great hybrid of sophisticated and unsophisticated comedy.

    Aside from their references to Lyndon LaRouche, my favorite example of this phenomenon stems from an episode that I saw for the first time when I was a junior in high school. I remember it vividly. I had been reading The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe, and the Simpsons episode in question was 4F24, Lisa the Simpson. Lisa Simpson begins to fear that being a Simpson has genetically predisposed her to losing her intelligence. In once scene, she joins Homer and Bart to find that they're watching a television program titled "When Buildings Collapse". Simple, huh? Mocking the stupidity of Homer and Bart with some mindless humor? (On Fox, no less!)

    Here's the thing: the final scene of the show they're watching shows the collapse of a nineteenth century mansion, and the caption reads "The Fall of the House of Usher". And so the Simpsons writers combined low-brow humor about catastrophic architectural failure (complete with a line from Bart, "The best part was when the buildings fell down!") with this obscure literary reference that I had only learned about mere minutes prior to seeing the episode.

    Now, such references were there in the film; I enjoyed the scenes with President Schwarzenegger, for example, and the barely-perceptible "Duff" logo on Moe's briefs. The whole film, though? Really, I thought that it was very comparable to Reno 911!: Miami. What do I mean by that? Simple: the Simpsons Movie, in my opinion at least, was merely a longer version of a typical Simpsons episode with a few gags and special effects thrown in that would be impossible on the television show. Reno 911!: Miami was the same thing: the same gags, a few scenes that wouldn't make it onto television, and a bigger budget. Both entertaining, neither revolutionary.

    For the record, I think that South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut did a better job of pulling off the television-to-movie-back-to-television conversion than the Simpsons Movie did.

    * * *

    Alright, time for me to go to bed. More tomorrow, folks.