Quick Update

Hey folks. I know I've been a bit of a ghost for the last week and a half. I've been swamped, still catching up from having been gone for a few days. There are a couple of things I'm preparing to get into here on the blog, that I'm really excited about. Stay tuned for those items in the next couple of weeks. In the mean time, I present you with an excellent political cartoon from Filibuster.

Fly Report: 30th April 2008

Good morning. Skank stank is almost impossible to get out of low pile carpet.

It's 9° Centigrade and rainy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 46° Fahrenheit with scattered thunder storms.

A barrel of oil is trading at $114.47 - still unacceptable. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,831.94. The exchange rate is $1.97 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is boring. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 5.

Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me.

Fly Report: 29th April 2008

Good morning. You know, fingerprints are just like snowflakes. They're both very pretty.

It's 9° Centigrade and rainy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 71° Fahrenheit with clouds.

A barrel of oil is trading at $117.24 - unacceptable. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,871.75. The exchange rate is $1.99 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is not a picture - someone missed the memo. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 5.

You don't have to go blind.

Stuff Fly Wants: April 2008

Field Gear

British special forces style rucksack (available at Silverman's in London, item number 35116) - £89.99

British SAS smock (available at Silverman's in London, item number 22001) - £90.00

British Desert DPM trousers and shirt

MARPAT Desert Utilities - $67.90

Six Color Desert Utilities - $39.90

Tiger Stripe Utilities - $39.90

Khaki Tru-Spec Tactical Response Uniform trousers (2) - $89.80

Sand Crye Precision R6 Field Pants - $105.00

UDT/SEAL Team Swimmer Trunks (2) - $71.90

Multicam Hunting Shirt - $27.95

U.S. Army ACU tan sweat-wicking uniform T-shirts (3)

Under Armour Cold Gear

Carhartt Double Front Logger Dungarees (2) - $93.00

5.11 Tactical Polos (3) - $119.97

Grundig Mini World 100PE shortwave radio - $40.00 (Amazon price $30.00)

FN FAL

AR-15 Carbine

Miscellaneous Clothing

Royal Marines T-Shirt - £10.96

More Cowbell T-Shirt - $17.99

I French Kissed Kelly Kapowski T-Shirt - $17.99

Position Wanted: Pope T-Shirt - $20.00

Clan Cleland tartan kilt and kilt pin - $400.00-$700.00

Household Items

Xbox DVD Movie Playback Kit - $29.99

Union Jack

Amazing Pasta Maker - $39.95 [click me]

Fouled Anchor lapel pin - $3.00

Walther PPK

Orkney satellite map

Britain and Ireland Map - $10.99

Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Middle East Map - $10.99

Roman Mainz Gladius

The Maxim Coffin Coffee Table - $4135.00

Stikfas Assault Team - $22.99 (Amazon price $20.99)

Bentwood Chair - $69.99

Outfitter XL Cot - $99.99

Pawleys Island Tri-Beam Hammock Stand - $140.00

Pawleys Island Beach Quilted Hammock - $222.00 (Amazon price $184.36)

papasan chair and ottoman

filing cabinet

book case

Books

Travels of ibn Battutah - $18.00

Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNab - $7.99

Contact Zero by David Wolstencroft - $7.99

Liberal Fascism by Jonah Goldberg - $27.95 (Amazon price $16.77)

Entertainment

Best of Chris Isaak (CD & DVD) - $24.98 (Amazon price $22.99)

James Bond Ultimate Collection - Volumes 1, 2, 3, and 4 - $359.92 (Amazon price $234.52)

24 - Seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4 - $269.92 (Amazon price $154.53)

Space Above and Beyond - Complete Series - $41.99 (Amazon price $36.98)

Reno 911! - Season 2 - $39.98 (Amazon price $31.99)

Firefly - Complete Series - $49.98 (Amazon price $24.97)

Kids in the Hall - Seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4 - $179.90 (Amazon price $155.98)

Gladiator Extended Edition - $39.98 (Amazon price $29.99)

Apocalypse Now Redux

Gattaca - $14.94 (Amazon price $10.99)

Mars Attacks! - $9.98

Quigley Down Under - $14.98 (Amazon price $10.99)

The Proclaimers - Life With You - $17.98 (Amazon price $12.97)

Switchfoot - Nothing is Sound - $18.99 (Amazon price $13.99)

Switchfoot - The Legend of Chin - $11.98

Remy Zero - The Golden Hum - $18.98 (Amazon price $14.99)

Stephanie Schneiderman - Live at Kung Fu Bakery - $15.98

Go-Go's - Return to the Valley of the Go-Go's - $31.98

Lifehouse - Who We Are - $13.98 (Amazon price $9.99)

Mystical Chants of Carmel by the Carmelite Monks - $18.95

Fly Report: 28th April 2008

Good morning. I never saved anything for the swim back.

It's 6° Centigrade and rainy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 70° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

A barrel of oil is trading at $118.40 - WTF? The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,891.86. The exchange rate is $1.98 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is beautiful. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 4.

I'm already gone.

Galactica Musings

I've spent last night and most of today treating myself. Between Denver, Hometown, and catching up, I haven't spent much time relaxed and stationary in my digs in a while. So how am I treating myself, and why? Battlestar Galactica series three. I started off last night with the last disc of series 2.5, just for the sake of continuity, and I'm on the downward spiral of the third disk of series three at the moment. Here are a few observations.

First thing's first: there's a Galactica Wiki. The wiki covers both the original (terrible) late 1970's series and the re-imagined series that's presided over by Ronald D. Moore. It joins Memory Alpha, the Wookieepedia, and the Babylon Project. I should have been a bit more careful, though, because I accidentally uncovered some spoilers - I'm not sure whether they pertain to the third series or the fourth, but I'm going to be more careful from now on. Even so, it's been great to see some content and remember some of the moments from the last couple of seasons.

It's worth noting that this third series is something I've been waiting on for two years now. Long-time readers will remember that as of this writing, it's been two years and one week since I left Hometown for Zoo Station, in California's Mojave Desert. I left Hometown mere weeks after the conclusion of series two. It took them quite a while to finally release the second half of series two on DVD. Given that I didn't have cable at Zoo Station, and that I left my television set there when I moved to Van Dieman's Station, I hadn't seen any of these episodes until this morning. Thank God for DVD players, eh?

Speaking of time frames, it's worth noting that the re-imagined series by Ronald D. Moore has already lasted longer than the original series and the ill-fated "Galactica 1980" disaster combined.

From time to time, I've noted one of my Father Time-inspired hobbies: shortwave radio. As I believe I've noted before, I'm the proud owner of a Grundig FR200. I was pleasantly surprised to see an FR200 featured in the second series finale, Lay Down Your Burdens Part II.

Good stuff, good stuff. I look forward to watching more, and I'll probably spend a good part of today and a bit of tomorrow watching the remaining volumes of the third series before heading back to work on Monday. As frustrating as things are these days, it's a good distraction.

The Fly vs. Father Time Episode I: Senator McCain

Here at TSTF, we try to appease and humor the elderly, and Father Time is no exception. During my recent visit to Hometown, Father Time once again challenged me to a duel of wits, but simultaneously asked me to go easy on him since he's poorly armed. I received this E-Mail from him.

Right! The Straight Talk Express. As soon as I hear something that sounds like a firm position, I'll sit up and take notice. (Notable exception - Iraq.) Roe vs Wade? Huh? Is he or isn't he. His voting record is right up there with Strom Thurmond on that issue. Is he for Bush's tax cuts or not? He voted against them but now says he's in favor of retaining them. Gun control or not? After Columbine he was for it; after Virginia Tech he feels gun control isn't necessary. Sen. James Webb has a bill pending that would provide fund education for veterans. McCain says he hasn't had time to examine it closely. Funny that Obama and Clinton have had time and support it. Ya, I know. Old Democrat Donkeys "tax and spend" right? But jeeze, this is for veterans? The same people he supports being in Iraq.

Enough for now Senor Fly. I'll rip on Obama and Clinton in a day or two.

First thing's first: enough with the "Senor Fly" line. If I wanted to be called something in Spanish, I'd herd together a bunch of Cub Scouts and take over a Central American country so that I could be called "El Presidente Conquistadoro Mosca", or something of that sort. (As I've pointed out to Father Time's daughter, "Latin America" is a fantasy, as Central America has nothing to do with the Latin language or the Latin people, both of which were Italian.)

As far as the issues go, I'll address them in quick succession.

Roe vs Wade? Huh? Is he or isn't he. His voting record is right up there with Strom Thurmond on that issue.

You'll have to cite specifics. It's my understanding that Senator McCain has vehemently opposed abortion for his entire Congressional tenure. If you can cite specifics, I'll reevaluate my defense of him on this issue. It's worth pointing out, however, that many Republicans take issue not only with so-called "abortion rights", but also with the way that Roe v. Wade was introduced: as a judicial decision, not as legislation. If there's an apparent inconsistency in Senator McCain's record, that factor might be worth investigating.

Is he for Bush's tax cuts or not? He voted against them but now says he's in favor of retaining them.

Senator McCain was initially opposed to President Bush's tax cuts, but this is often taken out of context by his opponents. If you'll search through the record, you'll find that Senator McCain didn't think the tax cuts went far enough. He opposed them because they were not coupled with corresponding spending cuts. He favors retaining them because they didn't prove to be as problematic as he initially thought they would, but I think that we can all agree, even bleeding heart liberals, that our economy would be in much better shape at the moment if the tax cuts had been coupled with cuts in government spending. That's how you balance a national budget.

Gun control or not? After Columbine he was for it; after Virginia Tech he feels gun control isn't necessary.

If you'll give me some citations or links, Father Time, I'll be more than happy to seek them out and do a bit of research. All I've heard thus far from my side of things is some sort of nebulous charge by Senator McCain's opponents that he favors gun control, without any real evidence to support it - sort of like the claims that he supports amnesty for illegal aliens, even though I've seen no evidence to back this claim up.

Sen. James Webb has a bill pending that would provide fund education for veterans. McCain says he hasn't had time to examine it closely. Funny that Obama and Clinton have had time and support it. Ya, I know. Old Democrat Donkeys "tax and spend" right?

I see no conflict here. Senator McCain's allies and enemies both acknowledge that he's a man of integrity, and the worst accusation I've ever seen leveled at him was that he used to call Vietnamese people derogatory terms. On the other hand, Senator Obama has been extremely ambiguous and inconsistent about a number of issues, including his enigmatic relationship with his pastor; and apparently Senator Clinton was fired at by Bosnian snipers in Tusla, even though it never happened. My point is not to level criticism at Senators Obama and Clinton, as much as it is to say that Senator McCain has a better record for honestly communicating his positions and philosophy than his opponents.

But jeeze, this is for veterans? The same people he supports being in Iraq.

I wouldn't presume to speak on behalf of Senator McCain. However, based on what I know about him, my guess would be that his position on this issue is that, rather than building up more government bureaucracy in order to promote programs for veterans' education, he'd rather lower their tax burden and implement cuts in wasteful government spending that would enable veterans to pay for higher education on their own, without having to rely on government. Fair? If not, I'd be more than happy to discuss this item, too.

The ball is back in your court, revered Father.

Fly Report: 25th April 2008

Good morning. Why don't you go knit me a sweater before I slap you in the face!?

It's 10° Centigrade and rainy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 40° Fahrenheit with afternoon rain and snow.

A barrel of oil is trading at $115.35 - ridiculous. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,848.95. The exchange rate is $1.97 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is lame. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 4.

My hands are tied.

Fly Report: 24th April 2008

Good morning. In all the confusion, there's something serene; I'm just a posthumous part of the scene.

It's 8° Centigrade and cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 39° Fahrenheit with rain and snow.

A barrel of oil is trading at $117.57 - ridiculous. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,763.22. The exchange rate is $1.97 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 3.

And you give yourself away.

Fly Report: 23rd April 2008

Good morning. Give me a reason for life and for death, and a reason for drowning while I hold my breath.

It's 10° Centigrade and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 58° Fahrenheit with afternoon showers.

A barrel of oil is trading at $117.34 - bollocks. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,720.23. The exchange rate is $2.00 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 3.

Something is about to give.

Fly Report: 22nd April 2008

Good morning. Out of time, out of time.

It's 10° Centigrade and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 60° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

A barrel of oil is trading at $116.19 - bollocks. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,825.02. The exchange rate is $1.98 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 3. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

In the garden, I was playing the tart; I kissed your lips and broke your heart.

The Fly: Live from Hometown

Hey folks! I know I've been posting only Fly Reports lately. That's because I've been back in Hometown for the last few days, seeing friends and family. It's been a great trip so far, but too short as always, and it's almost over. The timing has been interesting, too, because Saturday was the two year anniversary of my departure to California for my first post-university job. As my dad said yesterday, "There's a lot of water under the bridge since then." Isn't that the truth?

I had an excellent meeting with Father Time on Friday morning, and as I've mentioned before (and he noted in the comments), he and I are going to once again attempt to start debating various issues. That should give everybody a little bit more substantive content to read, mixed in with the regular satellite images and videos that I've been posting over the last couple of months. My articles will, of course, continue every week or two. Anything we can do to appease the good Father is worth doing.

Well, folks, I have many things to accomplish, and very little time to do them. Stay out of trouble... Or if your name is Mighty Mo, blog about it!

Fly Report: 21st April 2008

Good morning. You're searching for an angel, someone who can make you whole.

It's 9° Centigrade and mostly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 38° Fahrenheit with rain and snow.

A barrel of oil is trading at $115.54 - why? The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,849.36. The exchange rate is $2.00 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is lame. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 3.

Will it make it easier on you now? You've got someone to blame.

Fly Report: 18th April 2008

Good morning. Remember that poem about two sets of footprints in the sand? At the end of that poem, God is lying; it was Chuck Norris that was carrying you.

It's 10° Centigrade and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 64° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

A barrel of oil is trading at $112.53 - why? The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,818.18. The exchange rate is $1.99 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is boring. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 3.

If were weren't so alike, you'd like me a whole lot more.

Fly Report: 17th April 2008

Good morning. If you believe that Haile Selassie I of Ethiopia was the second coming of Christ, you might want to rethink your theology just a scoche.

It's 7° Centigrade and cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 59° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

A barrel of oil is trading at $114.23 - why? The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,619.27. The exchange rate is $1.97 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is boring. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 3. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

It's just a moment, this time will pass.

Fly Report: 16th April 2008

Good morning. My song is love, is love unknown, and I've gotta get that message home.

It's 8° Centigrade and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 44° Fahrenheit with rain and snow.

A barrel of oil is trading at $113.00 - unbelievable. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,362.47. The exchange rate is $1.96 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is boring. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 3. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

So we're told this is the golden age, and gold is the reason for the wars we wage; oh I want to be with you, be with you night and day.

Not a Cow

First thing's first: behold, the Fly and Peter (formerly known as "Sneaky Pete").

A few nights ago, I was hanging out at a tavern with the Artista, Surfer Dude, and Big Orange (the latter two of whom are husband and wife). Big O still keeps her iPod Touch in the box that it came in, and the Artista somehow finagled the box away from her. She said the following things to myself and the Artista, who happened to be sitting on the same side of the table.

To the Artista: "Give me the box. It's my box."

To the Fly: "You can only post this on your blog if you give me the box."

This reminded me of a video from about a year and a half ago, completely unrelated to Big Orange but having to do with the Justin Timberlake "Junk in a Box" video from SNL. I thought that I'd share it with all of you as your daily video.



Hilarious... For the most part. Today's satellite image is the Suka al Bakaraha, or Bakaraha Market, in Mogadishu, Somalia. This site was central to the Battle of Mogadishu, detailed in the book Black Hawk Down by Mark Bowden and the 2001 film by Ridley Scott. I had originally thought that "Bakaraha" was derivative of al Baqara (بقرة), which is Arabic for "cow"; but Wikipedia, the infallible, authoritative, and undisputed source of all knowledge, says that it derives from the Somali word for "grain" or "silo". So, there you have it.

Okay, folks, time for your friendly neighborhood Super Fly to get rolling for the day. Be of good cheer.

Fly Report: 15th April 2008

Good morning. Saith Surfer Dude: "I swear, that was his wife getting into Ric Flair's limo!"

It's 4° Centigrade and rainy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 54° Fahrenheit with showers.

A barrel of oil is trading at $111.20 - unbelievable. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,302.06. The exchange rate is $1.98 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is boring. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 1. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

Everywhere you go, you shout it; you don't have to be shy about it.

Multi-Headed Monkeys

Hey folks! It's been a busy weekend, and I still have a lot of things to get done over the next few days, so this will be brief - just a video and a satellite image.

As I've mentioned frequently in the recent past, my favorite video game of all time is The Secret of Monkey Island, and there's a Swedish band that covers Nintendo music that performed the theme song, as well as the Ghost Pirate LeChuck's theme (think "Darth Vader", except in a comedic pirate context), at a concert in London in 2004. Here's the video.



In case you enjoyed the music so much that you're now compelled to download it, you can do so here or here. Even though most of the excellent Monkey Island websites have stopped posting new content within the last few years, they've left their sites up. Oh, and for the record, today's title, in addition to being a play on the next paragraph, comes from this image.

Today's satellite image is between the Palace of the Doges and Saint Mark's Basilica in Venice, Italy. Why between the two? Because that's the location of a statue of the four tetrarchs. For more information, read here.

I'll have the long-awaited picture of myself and Peter, formerly known as Sneaky Pete, up in tomorrow's post. In the mean time, remember: if a man is obsessed with a sports team that he has had no previous geographic affiliation with, to the point of incorporating it into room decorations, you probably have a problem.

Fly Report: 14th April 2008

Good morning. Don't worry, 'cause every little thing is gonna be alright.

It's 6° Centigrade and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 73° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

A barrel of oil is trading at $109.26 - I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,325.42. The exchange rate is $1.97 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is very cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 1. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

You should worry about the day, that the pain it goes away; you know, I miss mine sometimes.

Wherein the Fly Maintains his Authenticity

Hey folks! Happy Friday! Things to do, things to do, so just a couple of standard bits and then I'm off to accomplish those things to do, things to do.

Today's satellite image is the top of the Luxor Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. The top of the Luxor is a massive beacon (منار in Arabic, not to be confused with the Hezbollah TV station of the same name), and it can be seen from a good thirty or forty miles southwest of Las Vegas on Interstate 15.

One of my favorite video games of all time, ranking shortly below Monkey Island, was Mega Man 2 for the original Nintendo. Here are two nerds reviewing it on YouTube.



In the words of Krusty the Klown: "Get ready for two weeks at the happiest place on earth... Tijuana!"

Fly Report: 11th April 2008

Good morning. Baby, hwhat is your name? Let me buy you... A draaaaaaank.

It's 8° Centigrade and mostly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 45° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

A barrel of oil is trading at $109.71 - I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,581.98. The exchange rate is $1.97 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is lame. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 1. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

Don't you worry about your mind.

Controversial Statements

Whoops! I posted this, and neglected to post my carefully and lovingly crafted Fly Report! Here's the re-posted real post.

You know, I was just reminiscing the other day about a discussion I had with a group of former soldiers, one of whom had been assigned to the Fourth Infantry Division in Iraq in 2003. For those of you who don't pay attention to the history of the Iraq War (and I can't say as I blame you), it was 4ID that captured Saddam Hussein in a farmhouse outside Tikrit. We were having a charged discussion about the quality of the respective services, and this former 4ID soldier came up with the following quote:

"Fourth ID were the ones who caught Saddam, that's all I've got to say."

It took me a while to think it through and reverse engineer this. I give absolute credit to the soldiers of the Fourth Infantry Division who fought bravely, and who did excellent work in catching Saddam Hussein. However, there's one detail that this young former soldier forgot: if Saddam Hussein was in Tikrit, and 4ID was the lead/sole unit in the Tikrit area at the time, of course they were going to be the ones who caught him. It had nothing to do with the excellent quality of the unit, and everything to do with that unit's assigned location.

(And this is my soapbox, so that's why you're reading it.)

Today's satellite image is the University of Nouakchott in Nouakchott, Mauritania. I had a friend who was in the Peace Corps in Mauritania, so I got to hear/read stories about Nouakchott... And about Senegalese whiskey, but that's another story.

Speaking of controversial subjects, there's a great video by Glenn Beck about a recent development in the so-called "global warming" debate. Long-time readers will know that I, like noted author Michael Crichton (Aliens Cause Global Warming), am an ardent skeptic about global warming in general, and mankind's impact on it in particular. Thus, I was thrilled to see the following video yesterday morning, which exposes both the inconsistency of the "science" and the lack of credibility on the side of climate activists.



Even so, the filthy protesters have their place, as we can see from the following exchange:

Cartman: If you all don't mind, I would like to do my report now. I know what the founding fathers would say.
Stan: He does?!
Kyle: He does?!
Cartman: I learned somethin' today. This country was founded by some of the smartest thinkers the world has ever seen. And they knew one thing: that a truely great country can go to war, and at the same time, act like it doesn't want to. You people who are for the war, you need the protesters. Because they make the country look like it's made of sane, caring individuals. And you people who are anti-war, you need these flag-wavers, because, if our whole country was made up of nothing but soft pussy protesters, we'd get taken down in a second. That's why the founding fathers decided we should have both. It's called "having your cake and eating it too."
Randy: He's right. The strength of this country is the ability to do one thing and say another.
Skeeter: Yeah, but... if it weren't for all you guys protesting, why everyone around the world would hate the American people instead of just the President.
Gerald: And if it weren't for you people flexing your arms, America could easily get taken over by terrorists or, or China.

With that, I leave you for the day, but not without expressing one regret: Twitley wasn't able to make it here, so I didn't get to spend yesterday evening with my little brother. Lousy, but there's nothing I can do about it. A picture of me and Peter will be up early next week, though. And remember, ladies: though you may be tempted, diminuitive men in muscle shirts should be avoided at all costs.

Fly Report: 10th April 2008

Good morning. Mom! I'm god of the Sea People!

It's 8° Centigrade and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 40° Fahrenheit with rain and snow.

A barrel of oil is trading at $110.61 - I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,527.26. The exchange rate is $1.97 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 1. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

I know these fast cars will do me no good.

A Pithy, Expertly-Crafted Dig

Senator Clinton wants us to boycott the opening ceremonies at the Olympics in Beijing? Really? Senator Clinton wants us to put political pressure on China? Really? China? Aren't the Clintons pretty good buddies with the Chinese?

Your daily video is one of the funniest episodes of Cute With Chris:



Today's satellite image, for the sole purpose of my long fascination with Mormonism, is Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah. The history of the Latter-Day Saints, though undoubtedly controversial, is really fascinating.

I keyed in on this yesterday, but I want to reiterate it today: I think that all of the people who are protesting against China are outstanding. I guess even the filthy, ignorant, unshaven, unbathed, uneducated, unsavory protestors can get things right occasionally. They've been wrong about Iraq for five and a half years at this point, but I they're right about Tibet and Darfur.

I'd like to note with some excitement that I finally got to hang out with Peter, formerly known as "Sneaky Pete", on Monday night. A picture of us at a little pub in downtown Denver is forthcoming. As expected, I was as impressed in person with Peter as I've always been online. He's a gentleman and a scholar... With good taste in pubs.

Also exciting are my plans for tonight: seeing Twitley. Extremely long-time readers will remember that my brother, Twitley, lives in Wyoming. Once he found out that I was going to be in Denver, he decided to drive all the way from Wyoming to see me. Twitley and I haven't seen each other in more than two years, so I'm exceptionally excited to spend the evening with him. I'll have a picture of that up within a few days, too.

Have a great day, folks, and remember: just say no to guys who go to Renaissance fairs... Especially if they're balding.

Fly Report: 09th April 2008

Good morning. Oh, alcohol, I still drink to your health.

It's 7° Centigrade and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 45° Fahrenheit with rain and snow.

A barrel of oil is trading at $107.47 - WTF? The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,576.44. The exchange rate is $1.97 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is semi-boring. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new, with a new page format, both of which are excellent.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 1. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

Take a pill to stop it.

Understanding Chechnya Part II: The First Chechen War

Note: This is my second in a series of articles for my parallel writing endeavour. A remote and poorly understood component of the Russian Federation, Chechen history is dominated by secessionism and influenced in part by Islamism. In order to understand the global connections of international terrorism, one must understand Chechnya.

In the years directly following the collapse of the Soviet Empire, the tiny Russian republic of Chechnya became increasingly independent. Having declared their independence from Russia on several previous occasions, the Chechens prepared Grozny for the coming invasion by Russia in the hopes that they would be able to bleed Russian resolve. Meanwhile, Russia appeared to make exacting preparations for a massive assault; as the waning days of 1994 would show, Russian military leaders made numerous critical errors. The First Chechen War, as it would come to be known, became an object lesson in failed urban warfare doctrines.

The Russian army planned to invade Chechnya using three columns to enter Grozny, the Chechen capital. Russian troops were dispatched to the north, west, and east sides of the city in an attempt to force the Chechen rebels, led by Dzhokhar Dudayev, into the mountains south of the city. Instead of planning an escape to the mountains, the Chechens used this opening in the Russian formation to continue importing supplies well after the invasion had begun. Because of both this, and the slow pace of the Russian columns, Chechens united to reinforce Grozny, even after the Russian army finally reached the city.

On paper, Russian threw massive amounts of force into the operation. In reality, most units had only thirty to fifty percent of their proper manpower; in turn, most of these were conscripts with less than one year of military service. They were also unfamiliar with the territory and Grozny itself. Many Chechens, however, were veterans of compulsory Russian military service. They knew Russian military doctrine, they were familiar with Russian equipment, and they knew their own geography well.

Russian forces encountered resistance even before they crossed into Chechnya. In 1992, a Russian military operation had involved ethnic cleansing in Northern Ossetia, the Russian republic West of Chechnya. Whether the Ossetians were asked by Dudayev for assistance or not is unknown, but the Ossetians attacked the western column. The other columns were bogged down by sniper and RPG attacks, roadblocks, and ambushes, rendering them ineffective. The invasion started on 11th December; it was 24th December before Grozny was finally "surrounded"; the southern sector was left open for several more days, allowing Dudayev and his forces to keep bringing in supplies.

Originally expected to take mere days, the invasion had already taken nearly two weeks. The Russians marched on Grozny in the waning hours of 1994, expecting to quickly reach the Chechen presidential palace - the first squad to reach this strategic position was promised the Hero of Russia medal. Instead, the Chechens had blocked off roads, forcing the Russians into specific avenues. With the Russians bottleknecked, the Chechens pinned them down with sniper fire from the surrounding buildings, followed by RPG attacks and ambushes that wreaked havoc on the Russian conscripts. In the narrow streets, the Chechens would attack the front and rear vehicles, confining the remaining vehicles so that they could be picked off one by one.

Even the Russian aerial strategy was flawed. Attack helicopters were employed only during the initial phase of the assault; once Russian troops had reached Grozny, they were supported only by fixed-wing aircraft. Although the Russians destroyed Chechen airports and aircraft, most of these were training aircraft, and this focus had little bearing on the rest of the conflict. The Russian battle plan called for the elite special forces units, or Spetsnaz, to be deployed by helicopter in the mountains surrounding Grozny in order to disrupt Chechen operations there. Instead, most of the Spetsnaz troops surrendered to the Chechens after wandering for days without food or any tangible instructions.

The Chechens emphasized mental toughness, stockpiled ammunition and supplies, and operated in flexible, independent guerrilla units. Chechen forces were not only well-prepared, but mature, well-trained, and motivated by the desire to defend their homeland. The Russians, however, we understaffed, poorly coordinated, and doctrinally deficient - in short, they were completely unprepared for what they were about to encounter. It took until 26th January 1995 for Federal forces to capture the Grozny presidential palace, and urban warfare raged through February. It wasn't until late March that Grozny was actually consolidated, and by then most of the city's residents had fled. Fighting raged in the mountains until 1996, when near-total public opposition to the war led Boris Yeltsin to finally suspend the operation and sign a peace treaty.

In many ways, the siege of Grozny and the ensuing war were inevitable. The Chechens were motivated by a mix of nationalism and religious fervor, and their separatist history compelled them to once again seize the opportunity of a weak and preoccupied Russia to attempt a forced independence. Meanwhile, Moscow was motivated by economic, political, and social motivators to prevent a second secessionist domino effect from beginning. Although the invasion was likely to have been bloody and protracted no matter what, the near-total failure of the Russian military to secure a timely victory was astonishing. Had the Russian military leadership put forth a realistic and cognizant plan, the conflict may not have dragged into a two year boondoggle that ended in a bloody stalemate.

Unfortunately for both the Russians and the Chechens, this bloody stalemate was only temporary. The First Chechen War would only set the stage for subsequent conflicts in the Caucasus.

Fly Report: 08th April 2008

Good morning. Hands, touching hands; reaching out, touching me, touching you!

It's 7° Centigrade and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 47° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

A barrel of oil is trading at $108.23 - WTF? The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,612.43. The exchange rate is $1.98 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is boring. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new, with a new page format, both of which are excellent.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 1. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

A man dreams one day to fly, a man takes a rocket ship into the sky; he lives on a star that's dying in the night, and follows in the trail, a scatter of light.

Live From Denver

Hands, touching hands; reaching out, touching me, touching you!

Hey folks! Your friendly neighborhood Super Fly here, live from Denver. As far as I can remember, this is the first time I've ever blogged from the Mountain time zone. I've logged from Central in Texas, Eastern in Indiana, Georgia, and Van Dieman's Station; and of course, Pacific from Hometown and Zoo Station. Today's satellite image is the beautiful but bizarre Jeppesen Terminal at Denver International Airport; why a search for "Denver International Airport" directs one to San Francisco, I don't know.

I don't know about you folks, but I'm really excited about China having the Olympics. Everyone is protesting the Chinese for both Tibet and Darfur. Maybe the world isn't going to just bend over and take it from China, and that's something to be stoked about.

Today's video is of a Special Forces firefight in Iraq, by night vision; no word whether or not Paris Hilton is involved.



I had a great exchange with Mighty Mo on Saturday.

Mighty Mo: You there?
The Fly: Of course!
Mighty Mo: Cool! I'm bored as hell. lol
The Fly: LOL
The Fly: Do you enjoy YouTube videos?
Mighty Mo: You know it!
The Fly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArnJV7eTMD8&feature=related
Mighty Mo: LOL I love this show
The Fly: That's what we did when we got back to [Friend]'s the other night, was watch The Giant Spider Invasion.
Mighty Mo: The writers for that show are freaking funny as hell
The Fly: Amen to that.
The Fly: Giant Spider Invasion is hilarious because it has the Skipper from Gilligan's Island as the sheriff.
Mighty Mo: Hahahah!
Mighty Mo: Poor type-casted little guy. lol
The Fly: Hahaha
Mighty Mo: Didn't he die recently?
The Fly: I'm not sure, I think that Bob Denver died recently.
Mighty Mo: Dude, didn't he die like 8 years ago?
The Fly: Bob Denver, not John Denver.
The Fly: Bob Denver, Gilligan, died on 2 September 2005.
The Fly: John Denver, singer, died 12 October 1997
Mighty Mo: LOL
Mighty Mo: <-------------- retard
The Fly: Alan Hale, Jr., Skipper, died 2 January 1990
The Fly: Indeed you are!

Okay, things to do, things to do. Tomorrow I'll post my latest article on the history of the conflict in Chechnya. In the mean time, have a great day.

Fly Report: 07th April 2008

Good morning. Wow, this is graphic.

It's 7° Centigrade and cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 47° Fahrenheit with afternoon rain.

A barrel of oil is trading at $106.36 - still asinine. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,609.42. The exchange rate is $1.99 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is very cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 1. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

It's Summer, I can taste the salt on the sea, there's a kite blowing out of control on the wind.

Temporary Escape

Hey folks! As some of you may have picked up from a comment this week by Peter, I'm going on a bit of a jaunt to Denver for the week. I'm taking my laptop, and I fully expect to continue with Fly Reports and various chicanery as the week progresses. You all know what that means: no need for Father Time's "Dragonfly Reports"! Speaking of which, Father Time has challenged me to a bit of a blog duel; he thinks, and rightly so, that there's a lot of fluff on TSTF these days, and less substance than is becoming of this hallowed institution. Thus, Father Time and The Fly will begin dueling on various topics in the coming weeks. Stay tuned for that.

Denver, here I come!

Schnell Freitag Geposten

Hey folks! It's Friday! Most excellent!

I'll start you off with your satellite image for today, and just for today, I feel like being political: behold the Owens Valley Dry Lake, otherwise known as "what happens when we let Californians dictate environmental policy". I'm sure I'll calm down.

Completing this week's theme of fake commercials, I present an advert for the Volkswagen Golf. My understanding is that this particular advert wasn't so much intended as an actual advert, but was instead a demo piece to demonstrate what the advertising company could do as far as work quality.



That's pretty much all I've got at the present moment. Stay tuned for more, and have a great weekend!

Fly Report: 04th April 2008

Good morning. For sale: bank uniform polo shirts, size small. Divorce forces sale.

It's 9° Centigrade and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 56° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

A barrel of oil is trading at $103.88 - still asinine. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,626.03. The exchange rate is $2.00 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is very cool. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 1. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

These days, days, days run away like horses over my head.

Note to Self: Take a Holiday

What's crackalackin', kids? Today's post will be brief. Continuing with this week's theme of fake (or "banned") commercials, here's the latest installment. It's a scoche inappropriate in dialogue, but there are no graphic scenes.



Priceless, indeed! I first saw that video in college and loved it, so I'm happy to have finally been able to share it with you, my valued readers. For the record, they could have used a proofreader; for example, it's "whose father", not "who's father". Just sayin'.

Today's satellite image is of the Piazza della Signoria in Florence (Firenze), Italy. In addition to being the site of a wicked cool fountain and a copy of Michelangelo's statue of David, it's also the home of Giambologna's Rape of the Sabine Women. I'd heard about this statue in my ancient history courses, and along with the David (which I saw both both the original and the copy of in Firenze, and then another copy in Las Vegas), it was one of the highlights of my time in Firenze. Very nice.

Lest you be duped by alarmist hacks like Lou Dobbs, MSN has a simple article up about weathering a weak economy. The first bullet they provide is particularly valuable, but all five of their points make sense. I personally use Mighty Mo as an economic advisor, but the article is worth reading.

See? Brief! Alright, folks, the Fly has things to do. As you go forth today, my valued readers, remember to make love... After war.

Fly Report: 03rd April 2008

Good morning. Saith WoW Champ: "So she'd pretty much decided that she was going to be single for the rest of her life... And then she started playing WoW."

It's 7° Centigrade and rainy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 50° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

A barrel of oil is trading at $103.91 - still asinine. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,605.83. The exchange rate is $1.98 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is lame. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is Matthew 1. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

Where do we go? Where do we go from here? Where to go?

A False Sense of Protection

It's "hump day", as the kids are so fond of calling it these days. I don't know about you folks, but I've been absolutely swamped this week, and the weekend won't be much better.

So, for those of you who read the blog yesterday - were you surprised? Were you fooled? Me, a Protective Security Specialist? Yeah, right! I just sort of fit in a career in the Special Forces community between blog posts, writing articles, and travelling to and fro all the live-long day. Maybe someday, right? Happy April, everybody! I can't believe we're already a quarter through this year... I'd better start accomplishing something soon!

Five years ago today, I placed roses on the place where Julius Caesar was cremated. This site, the Temple of Julius Caesar, is your daily satellite image. I spent a lot of time in college studying Caesar, and even read both his Bella Civili and Bella Gallia. In September of 2003, I wrote an extensive paper on the Roman presence in what is now Britain, and drew extensively from the Bella Gallia. If you're interested, or just bored and up for some good reading, the story of Caesar's first expedition to Britain is in Book IV; if you read Latin, you can check it out here.

Today's fake commercial is a bit more tame than yesterday's, but still hilarious.



And how! So, my original intent was to post another excerpt from Monday's conversation with the Crypto King. Instead, I'll post an exchange between The Artista and her mother, WoW_Champ.

WoW_Champ: (shouted upstairs) [Husband], a package came for you!
The Artista: Mom, didn't dad leave?
WoW_Champ: Oh, yeah.

I think I clapped for a solid minute when I heard this. Hilarious.

No news for today, I'll resume with that tomorrow. Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that Mighty Mo is probably about the most hospitable person I've ever known. For a good time [at Panda Chinese Buffet], call...

Fly Report: 02nd April 2008

Good morning. SWM, former Ewok stand-in, seeks ginger homewrecker for cheap flat share, sober missionary shagging, dinner at Shenanigans' clone.

It's 8° Centigrade and cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 47° Fahrenheit with afternoon rain.

A barrel of oil is trading at $101.27 - still asinine. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,654.36. The exchange rate is $1.98 for £1, or £0.51 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is lame. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is 2 Kings 24. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

We'll shine like stars in the Summer night, we'll shine like stars it'll be alright.

The Fly Gets More Badass

Hey, kids! It's Tuesday... All day long. On the plus side... I'm getting hired to be a Protective Security Specialist for Blackwater! Yes, THAT Blackwater! I didn't think they were even going to look at my application, but I attached the image I've provided in this post and mentioned in the "Qualifications" section of my CV that I've pulled hot British and Japanese women, which means that I could pull hot Arab and Persian women, and that was all she wrote. I'm pretty stoked. More on that as it develops.

Today's fake advert is completely inappropriate, and fake-graphic. I mean, really; so be forewarned. It advertises a classic candy product, re-tasked for a more nefarious purpose...



Today's satellite image is the dome of Saint Peter's Basilica, contained within Rome. Five years ago today, Friar Dave and I climbed to the top of that blasted thing (at the urging of April, who'd done it a year or so before). It was worth it, though, both on account of the story and on account of the pictures I took from one of the highest vantage points in Rome.

I had a funny conversation with the Crypto King yesterday. I'll share more of it as the week continues, because there were several funny exchanges. In the way of background information on this one in particular, the Crypto King is not racist against Chinese or Korean people. He's married to a Japanese woman, lived in Japan for a few years, speaks Japanese fluently, and gets frustrated when restaurants are labeled "Japanese" when they're not really Japanese. He's my expert on all things Japanese, hence our conversation that follows.

The Fly: You'd be entertained to know that I went to a Japanese steak house in town with some friends on Saturday night. It wasn't my birthday, but the chef thought it was, so they put a lei on me and put a balloon on my jacket, and they did a polaroid with a card, et cetera.
Crypto King: Is that the one across the street from [the] Mall?
Crypto King: and when the hell did you get friends?
The Fly: I started going to church. Four of the seven people I was out with were from church. I didn't know two of the other ones, and the last one is a friend of two of the people from church.
Crypto King: Ah, that makes sense.
Crypto King: How was the food? I never went to that place.
The Fly: I'm not sure if it's the one you're thinking about, it's a ways off the parkway. The food was good.
Crypto King: Name?
The Fly: Geisha
Crypto King: Seriously, who the hell thought that was a good name for a restaurant? Fucking koreans.
The Fly: *shrug* Maybe it's because they have Asian women in kimonos scurrying around delivering drinks and taking orders?
Crypto King: just like every other japanese steakhouse run by koreans or, worse, chinese?
Crypto King: Those manage not to name their restaurants "Hookers!"
The Fly: I'd never been to one, so I don't know.
The Fly: LOL
Crypto King: Might as well call it "Happy Ending Steakhouse and Massage Parlor"
The Fly: You say all of this... But wouldn't you want to eat there if it was called Happy Ending Steakhouse and Massage Parlor?
Crypto King: Yes, yes I would.

And for those of you who get your shorts in a jumble whenever I post a chat convo, it's worth pointing out that I received permission from the Crypto King. Kulish zayn!

In the news, a former liberal says that liberals are brain-dead - and it's on a British news site! Shocking.

Right then, time to get my ass ready for work. Behave yourselves... Especially you, Mighty Mo. We all know what you're really using your new laptop for.

Fly Report: 01st April 2008

Good morning. I'm going to work for Blackwater!

It's 7° Centigrade and rainy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 39° Fahrenheit with afternoon snow.

A barrel of oil is trading at $100.97 - still asinine. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 12,262.89. The exchange rate is $1.99 for £1, or £0.50 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is awesome. The picture at the Orkneyjar Photoblog is not new.

Today's scripture reading is 2 Kings 23. The Fly is reading Hizbu'llah: Politics & Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb.

I was broken and bent out of shape, I was naked in the clothes that you made.