Oscar Sucks

I watched the tail end of the Academy Award nomination press conference today, and all I can say is: what the hell? Let's focus primarily on the nominated films:

Brokeback Mountain

Goodnight and Good Luck

Munich

Capote

Crash

I was a bit stunned by these nominations. The only film out of these that I've even seen is Crash (thanks Michelle!). The only other one that looked remotely interesting to me was Munich, until I heard what its message and agenda was; at that point, I decided that even though I like Stephen Spielberg, and Eric Bana, I didn't care to see it.

Now, I can get over the fact that these movies are political; after all, some of the films I've liked most have been films that I thought had a light conservative inkling, like pretty much any movie that Mel Gibson spearheads. If it were me doing the nominating, I would have nominated The Island for best picture, as well as Walk the Line. I thought both were outstanding films. Like I said, I can get over the fact that the movies that were nominated were political; what I can't get over is that the films that were nominated were some of the lowest grossing films of the year. Translation? The films that Hollywood feels were the best films of the year are the films that mainstream America has pretty much completely ignored.

Spurred by Michael Medved's show today, I did some looking and confirming of my own. So far Capote, which was released at the end of September (that's four months that it's been out) has made a paltry fifteen million dollars. For the sake of comparison, the Martin Lawrence travesty known as Big Momma's House 2, which was released this weekend, has made almost thirty million dollars. That's almost double what Capote's made in four months. Is Big Momma's House 2 worthy of the Academy's recognition next year? Highly doubtful, and that's my point: the movies being nominated by the almighty Academy are movies that the general public have completely and totally rejected.

Another great example of this phenomenon was that stupid movie about Alexander the Greek that "starred" Colin Farrell. It got horrible reviews by audiences because it was a shitty, anachronistic travesty that didn't even do justice to a no talent hack like Alexander. (I really need to write up a post about how seriously overrated Alexander was at some point soon.) Critics and industry insiders, who appreciated the film's message of Alexander's alleged bisexuality (and, as an ancient historian, I can tell you for a fact that this was completely and totally overstated) blamed American audiences for, in effect, being too stupid to appreciate the film. In reality, it was a waste of celluloid and money.

I used to love going to see movies. Do you know how many movies I went to see last year, ladies and gentlemen? Six. I saw a total of six movies last year: Fever Pitch, Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, The Island, Wedding Crashers, Serenity, and Walk the Line. I can't tell you how many times I've looked up on Hollywood.com or Fandango.com, trying to find a movie to go see, and coming up totally dry; and now those movies that I didn't want to see, that nobody apparently wanted to see, are the only movies nominated for Oscars?

If this isn't further proof that Hollywood is completely out of touch not only with mainstream America, but with legitimate and compelling art, I don't know what is. Forgive my arrogance, but people aren't going to "discover" Goodnight and Good Luck, or Capote, or Brokeback Mountain in fifteen or twenty years and say "Wow, this was completely underappreciated in its own time." These aren't paintings by Picasso or Van Gogh or something. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal pounding ass in a pup tent does not equate to Michaelangelo's ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

Simply ridiculous.

Fly Report: 31st January 2006

Good morning. And now, opening for Iron Maiden... Wyld Stallyuns!

It's 36° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 37° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

The average price of oil is $66.83 (?) per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.77 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 17. The Fly is currently reading The Lord of the Flies by William Golding and Globalized Islam by Olivier Roy.

We got the wheels, petrol's cheap; we only went there for a week.

August Update

Some of you will remember this post. I received an E-Mail today that updated me on her situation. They've discovered new tumors, and discontinued radiation and chemotherapy treatments, as they are unlikely to help. She's on hospice, and her doctors give her weeks, not months, to live.

This is pretty bad.

Fly Report: 30th January 2006

Good morning. It was surprising and unexpected.

It's 30° Fahrenheit and fair in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 43° Fahrenheit with clouds.

The average price of oil is $67.14 (?) per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.77 for £1, or £0.56 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 17. The Fly is currently reading The Lord of the Flies by William Golding and Globalized Islam by Olivier Roy.

I want you to know that you don't need me anymore; I want you to know that you don't need anyone or anything at all.

Talkin' About Books

One of my favorite science fiction authors (Robert J. Sawyer) has a blog (click the link, genius), and he put this survey up; so I'm doing it as well.

Total number of books I've owned:

I'm going to guess somewhere around eight hundred. I think I have like, five or six hundred now, but I don't remember for sure what the final tally was when I counted and catalogued them last Summer. That number wouldn't take into account most of the books I had as a kid, or the few books that I've sold over the years.

The last book I bought:

Wow... The last one I can remember buying was a copy of Diamonds Are Forever by Ian Fleming, though I may have bought something since then.

The last book I read:

I read (and thoroughly enjoyed) Shadow War by Richard Miniter. It's a book about how the Bush Administration is winning the War on Terror, even though the media's trying to paint a different picture.

Five books that mean a lot to me:

Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein - I read it because it was tied in to the entertaining (but attrocious) movie; it's really a pretty fine piece of political philosophy.

The Terminal Experiment by Robert J. Sawyer - This is my favorite novel of all time. Not only is it an outstanding story, it's a pithy exploration of the human condition.

The Agricola and the Germania by Gaius Cornelius Tacitus - My first taste of ancient literature, this book consists of an extended eulogy of Tacitus' father-in-law and an ethnography of the Germanic tribes.

How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill - This book chronicles the efforts of Irish monks during the middle ages, whose scholarship, tenacity, and national character helped to ensure the retention of many important documents, including the Bible, which might have been lost otherwise.

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis - A case for faith, made in a backward sort of way through letters from a middle manager devil to his trainee nephew.

The books in my collection where the physical object means a lot to me:

The Naval Officer's Guide - Mudflap's dad gave me a copy of this for Christmas of 1999 during the brief period of time in which she and I were dating, and it's one of the best gifts I've ever received.

I have a very old embalming textbook/manual that belonged to my great-great grandfather.

Who do I "tag" with this one? How about the following folks:

Molicious

Father Time

Michelle

Manda, who still hasn't called me a month later

Friar Dave, to give him something else to post about

Do it. Do it.

Flaming Sunrise

LtCol Kilgore: Smell that? Do you smell that?
Lance: What!?
LtCol Kilgore: Napalm, son! Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed. For twelve hours, and when it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinking dink body. And the smell, you know, that gasoline smell? Oh hell! Smells like... Victory... Someday this war's gonna end.

The Soap War

I think I've found yet another reason why no child of mine will ever go to an Ivy League school.

A Question of Linen Hygiene

I have a disagreement with Mo-Licious, and I want to pose the question to you folks: how many times can a bath towel be used before it ought to be washed? Miss Mo's under the impression that once you've used a bath towel once, it's time to wash it. I'm of the inclination that one can continue to use a bath towel longer than just one day; let's say a week for the sake of arguments, though usually I go longer than that.

Post your thoughts. Or, if you're looking for something a bit more serious, have a look at my long post about Hamas, which can be found directly below.

Dissecting the Hamas Win

Okay. This is probably going to be a bit disjointed, but I'm sure all of it will be very relevant and serious and such. Before I do that, I'll post links to several of the many hard news articles on the subject.

BBC News

CNN

Fox News

Everyone should also have a look at this page, just for review. It's certainly not a neutral account, but I'm fairly sure that it's factually accurate. In order to save me some time and grief, I'm going to, for this one post, dispense with the quotation marks around the word "Palestinian"; I just want to make it clear that as far as I'm concerned, "Palestine" is a region, it has never been a nation, and there is no such thing as a "Palestinian" person. However, the state of politics in the Levant and the world at large has led to the creation of a de facto population group who feels that they're owed a particular piece of real estate. Whether they're owed it, or deserve it, or whatever, the only discernible solution to the massive debacle that is the Middle East, if one exists at all, will require a two independent states: the restored, ancient nation of Israel, and a brand new nation called "Palestine", populated by a brand new population group with a purely artificial, synthetic national identity.

Okay, let's get down to the details. First thing's first: what happened, and why? Now, I'm not going to get into the ridiculous farce that is the parliamentary system; if you don't know how a parliamentary system works, read this. I'm going to focus on the actual causation.

Why did Hamas win? I can basically sum it up in seven words: this is the legacy of Yasser Arafat. It's no secret that Yasser Arafat was one of the wealthiest men in the world when he died, having funneled literal billions of dollars in international aid into his own coffers. Arafat's Fatah party, which has been the ruling party among the Palestinians for many years now, is seen (accurately) as being corrupt. They have made promises to improve infrastructure, they have made promises to deliver numerous improvements; instead, much of their constituency sits unemployed, uneducated, and bored in refugee camps. They now have territory, they had elections last year, and very little seems to change; the Palestinian territories are lawless, Fatah has been unable to provide security or disarm the militias. To the average Palestinian on the street, or in the refugee camp, Fatah's had its chance.

And what about Hamas? Well, political parties in Palestine are linked to terrorist militias. Fatah is "linked" to the al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades. Hamas is a two part entity: half political party, half terrorist militia. While the "militia" is busy strapping bomb belts and vests to themselves and blowing up pizzerias, coffee houses, and buses full of children and pensioners in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, the "political party" is providing social services and welfare benefits to some Palestinians. Now, the source of the funds and supplies used in such endeavours may be questionable in their origin, but to the average Palestinian, Fatah hasn't accomplished much, while Hamas is providing for some of the people. Aside from that, as Father Time noted in an E-Mail to me this morning, Hamas also boasts, illegitimately, that it was their efforts, their terrorist bombings, their attacks, that caused Israel to unilaterally withdraw from the Gaza Strip; but, like I said, this result is a part of the Yasser Arafat legacy.

So, for better or worse, those are some of the likely reasons for the overwhelming Hamas victory, assuming of course that it was legitimate in the first place. It's also worth noting that we should avoid international snobbery in this situation. Those of you who voted for President Bush in 2004, do you remember how asinine it was when that British newspaper (either the Guardian or the Daily Telegraph, probably the former) asked how so many Americans could be so stupid? It didn't serve any purpose then, and it doesn't serve any purpose now. We may disagree with the way the election went, we may even believe that it might have gone differently had the Palestinian electorate had additional or alternative information; but the fact of the matter is that the Palestinian electorate voted Hamas in, and they had reasons for doing so.

And what about the character of Hamas? Hamas' entire mission, their entire reason for existence, is the destruction of Israel and the Israeli people. They're Islamists, they're anti-Israeli, and they show it by carrying out terrorist bombings on Israeli soil. Their armed militia wing (which would be similar to the Democratic or Republican parties having their own private armies) exists for two reasons: as bodyguards for the Hamas leadership, and as anti-Israeli shock troops. As you can imagine, the Israelis aren't exactly heralding the Hamas election as a positive step forward in the peace process, and they're refusing to work with a government headed by Hamas, just like they refused to work with a government headed by Yasser Arafat. Israel, the United States, the European Union, and the United Nations are approaching the situation with essentially the same position: no diplomatic relations can exist between those entities and an organization whose entire platform demands the destruction and dissolution of a sovereign nation.

The next thing we need to consider is what the Palestinians stand to lose as a result of the Hamas electoral win. First and foremost, they could, and will, lose hundreds of millions, if not billions, of dollars in economic aid from various sources. Hamas is a long-standing recipient of the U.S. State Department's "Foreign Terrorist Organization" designation, as you can see here; you can also see on that page that providing material support to an FTO is illegal under federal law. Similar laws exist for the European Union and the United Nations, though you can probably count on the U.N. to find some way to circumvent such regulations. Financially speaking, the bottom line is that the Hamas win will cause incoming economic aid from the international community to dry up pretty much instantly.

In addition, considering that Hamas had no diplomatic capital to begin with, the vast majority of official Palestinian diplomatic capital is now moot. There's some degree of legitimacy as long as President Mahmoud Abbas remains in office; how long that's going to last is anyone's guess, as Abbas has already expressed reservations about the new situatio. Basically, the diplomatic situation is probably worse than it was when Yasser Arafat was alive; at least Arafat went through the motions of negotiating with Israel. Hamas is likely to find themselves in a less advantageous position than Arafat was in, and if you'll remember, Arafat was blockaded inside his compound in Ramallah until he got sick and was airlifted to that hospital in Paris.

What do the Palestinians have to gain from this? Honestly, I can't figure anything out. It's likely that many Palestinians thought that anyone would be more effective than the Fatah party. Unfortunately, Hamas may have had enough money through questionable sources when they were a rebel group to provide social services for a limited amount of individuals. The amount of constituents expecting that assistance from Hamas just skyrocketed, and any money they would have used to make that happen simultaneously evaporated. If it was next to impossible to get improvements in infrastructure under Fatah, it's going to be completely impossible to get it under Hamas. Some might consider it advantageous that Hamas will be more aggressive with Israel than Fatah was; unfortunately for the Palestinians, we all known that being aggressive against Israel doesn't really make any progress. Harassing Israel is counter-productive.

So, what does this mean for Israel? A Hamas victory in the parliamentary election was a de facto declaration of war against Israel by the Palestinian people. Israel isn't likely to make preemptive strikes; however, Israel has nothing to lose anymore by holding back when it comes to retaliation. Now, whenever someone representing Hamas, officially or unofficially, detonates a bomb vest or belt or a car bomb or whatever, that will represent an official act of war against Israel by the governing party. Israel will be completely within its rights when it answers a Hamas car bombing, or small arms attack, or what have you, with an air strike by Apache helicopters. As for diplomacy, as I mentioned earlier, things are essentially back to square one, just as they were before Yasser Arafat got sick.

What about for the United States? All economic aid to the Palestinian government has to be cut off; it's the law, and aside from that, it would be counter-productive and a public relations joke to be fighting a war against terrorism while supporting the newest state sponsor of terrorism. That's right, folks: the Palestinians have joined the Iranians and the North Koreans, unless Hamas changes its tune, renounces terrorism, disarms its terrorist militias, and publically acknowledges Israel's right to exist, Palestine is a terrorist state. Muammar Qaddafi's all but sold his soul to get Libya off that list; it will be interesting to see how Hamas reacts. Either way, American policy is pretty clear, through both federal law and administrative precedent.

There have been statements, on this blog and elsewhere, that the Hamas victory will lead to a war. Some have even predicted that it will happen within about a month and a half. I'll be honest, I don't see it. I can see a possible escalation in terrorist violence, and an increase in the Israeli response; but let's review, honestly. Arabs have fought three wars against Israel since 1948, and in each and every conflict they've had their asses handed to them, and lost territory in the process. The original Arab-Israeli War of 1948 involved Israel against Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, Egypt, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, and various Arab irregulars. Of those, Israel now has treaties and civil relations with Egypt and Jordan. Yemen and Lebanon are essentially in no position to attack, and the Iraqis and the Saudis aren't going to sign onboard for various reasons. Of the nations that were still willing to give things a go in 1973, Syria and Egypt, only Syria is still hell bent for Israel's destruction, and Israel's got better gear and better troops than the Syrians. Since the Syrians have very little to gain, and very little chance of gaining it, it's highly unlikely that they'd get involved.

When you couple that with the fact that the Palestinian security forces are armed with small arms, rocket propelled grenades, and not much else, and then compare that to Israel's top notch air force, ground forces, and intelligence agencies, it's not in Hamas' best interest to start a bona fide war with Israel; the only area in which they have even moderate chances of success is unconventional, asymmetrical warfare (terrorism and guerilla tactics); so my prediction is that if there's any escalation of hostilities, that's the way that Hamas will do it, and the Israelis will be less encumbered politically against decisive counterattacks than they were previously.

On a side note, it was suggested to me at some point, possibly by a co-worker, that this could lead to an Iranian attack on Israel. I don't see that at this point, either, for several reasons. First, if you'll remember, analysts have been considering the fact that the Israelis would be at the very edge of their capacity if they were to attempt air strikes against the Iranian nuclear program. You don't have to be a seasoned intelligence analyst to know that the Iranian air force is nowhere near as sophisticated as that of the Israelis; so, assuming the Iranians could get a plane to Israel in the first place, the Israelis would likely make short work of them. Therefore, a conventional attack would be unlikely. Also, it's doubtful that the Iranians have a nuclear weapon at this point in time.

Of course, only time will tell. Anyway, those are my thoughts; better late than never, eh?

Fly Report: 27th January 2006

Good morning. All we are is dust in the wind, dude. Dust... Wind... Dude.

It's 43° Fahrenheit and cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 51° Fahrenheit and partial clouds.

The average price of oil is $66.38 (?) per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.78 for £1, or £0.56 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 17. The Fly is currently reading The Lord of the Flies by William Golding and Globalized Islam by Olivier Roy.

Big girl with the sweet tooth watches the skinny girl in the photo shoot.

Hamas? WTF, Mate?

I don't need to post a link for you folks; if you want to go read it in a hard news article, you can do it for yourself. After exit polls showed a slight lead for the ruling Fatah party (that was Yasser Arafat's party), Hamas claimed victory with 76 out of 132 seats in parliament.

I'm still sort of mentally sorting through this, and I've gotten a little distracted since I started writing this post. Expect an expansion this evening.

Fly Report: 26th January 2006

Good morning.

It's 39° Fahrenheit with heavy clouds in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 49° Fahrenheit with afternoon showers.

The average price of oil is $65.41 (?) per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.79 for £1, or £0.56 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 16. The Fly is currently reading The Lord of the Flies by William Golding and Globalized Islam by Olivier Roy.

Here she comes, lady luck again. Figure of eight, six and nine again.

Rebecca

Another Sports Night moment...

Casey: Fine.
Dan: You're not happy.
Casey: I am.
Dan: No you're not. You're not happy that Rebecca's back.
Casey: Danny, this is gonna go badly for you.
Dan: No it's not.
Casey: She's got a blind spot for Steve Sisco.
Dan: Her ex-husband is not--
Casey: He's not her ex-husband. They're separated.
Dan: I know.
Casey: They're in counseling.
Dan: He's a jerk, Casey.
Casey: I know.
Dan: You shoulda seen the way he treated her.
Casey: I know how he treated her.
Dan: And you still think she's gonna end up going back to him?
Casey: Danny--
Dan: Be happy for me.
Casey: I am happy for you.
Dan: Are you faking it?
Casey: Doesn't matter.

Y'umpto, I tell you what.

Verisimilitude

Since you folks seem to think that anything philosophical I post is actually an issue of semantics (mainly because you're all unfamiliar with the original, historically accurate contexts of the words in question), I want to talk about a word in particular: verisimilitude.

Now, given the fact that most of the readers of this blog are from my generation, it's likely that the only thing that the word "verisimilitude" is likely to invoke is a memory of Jason Biggs from American Pie, reciting big words that he knows in an effort to prove that he scored well on his SATs. Of course, the word has meaning beyond that.

What are some examples of verisimilitude? Well, one is the level of detail in the accounts of Jesus' tomb following the resurrection. The Bible doesn't just say that He wasn't there when the investigators searched the tomb the next morning; they say that the cloth that had been on his face was neatly folded. The fact that the account is so detailed affords it added credibility.

Another Biblical example of this is found in the third chapter of Exodus.

Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the desert and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up."

Think about this passage. We all know that God got Moses' attention through an angel, manifested in a bush that burned, but was not consumed. Think about what Moses was doing: tending a flock. God didn't shout out, "Moses!"; that would have scared the flock. Instead, God, who we know to be all-knowing, made a calculated move: he got Moses' attention by sending an angel to appear as something that would get Moses' attention without spooking his flock. The flock most likely kept a comfortable distance from the burning bush, while Moses was able to investigate and encounter God.

The rest is history, and why? Because of the story's verisimilitude.

Stroking the Ego

You know what I've noticed lately, more than ever before? Hollywood is always patting itself on the back. A couple of weeks ago, we had the Golden Globes, where the top muckety mucks congratulate themselves for making a bunch of movies that, for the most part, The Fly has never heard of. I'd probably heard of less than half of the movies that were nominated. I was glad that Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix won awards for their work in Walk the Line, I was even glad to see Sports Night alum Felicity Huffman win an award (even if it was for some transvestite movie that I had, again, never heard of). Okay, Hollywood needs to pat itself on the back and feel good about itself? Whatever.

What did I see advertised last night on the television machine? The Screen Actors Guild Awards. So giving awards to a collection of trashy art house garbage that nobody saw wasn't enough; now they're going to do it again, three weeks later? And then we'll have the Academy Awards, another chance for the industry heavies to congratulate the "working class" actors; not for making movies that the public loved, or movies that the public appreciated or agreed with, but for their own subjective set of criteria.

Hell, I'll be surprised if the SAG Awards don't take it upon themselves to give Sean Penn a special humanitarian award for attending a rally of angry, anti-American Iranians and attempting to rescue Hurricane Katrina "victims" with a leaky rowboat and a red plastic cup.

Let me put it this way: if I'm the one making accusations of undeserved egotism, you know it's serious.

Fly Report: 25th January 2006

Good morning. Queens can make a war to sue for spice.

It's 41° Fahrenheit with heavy clouds in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 41° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

The average price of oil is $64.38 (?) per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.79 for £1, or £0.56 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 15. The Fly is currently reading The Lord of the Flies by William Golding and Globalized Islam by Olivier Roy.

It's too late tonight to drag the past out into the light.

The Fly Returns

I'm back; please excuse the absence, as I've been in the desert to dismantle an atomic bomb, figuratively speaking. I think maybe I'll start blogging a bit more now.

Don't you worry 'bout your mind...

For Philosophy's Sake

When I was taking my course in leadership and ethics with the Marine Corps, one of the topics that we touched on was the definition of professionalism. According to the guided discussion we had in class, a professional is someone who performs a job necessary for the successful conduct of society: physicians and surgeons, police officers and justice officials, military personnel, educators, et cetera.

So, I was rolling this around in my head a few days ago, and I stumbled across a thought: if professionals are those who carry out the respected functions necessary to the existence of society and civilization, then is there really such a thing as a professional athlete? After all, athletes serve a purely peripheral, expendable function.

Discuss.

Everybody Hates Raymond

Is anyone else sick of Everybody Loves Raymond being on television all night, every night? I think there are three channels that I normally turn to for comedy during the evening before 20:00: TBS, Fox, and UPN. I swear, about three quarters of the time they're playing Everybody Loves Raymond, or one of them (UPN I think) is playing Malcolm in the Middle, which I also can't get interested in.

Patricia Heaton is hot, but aside from that, the show has absolutely no draw for me. I preferred the days before I went to England when it was Friends and Dharma and Greg. Now Friends episodes are few and far between, Dharma and Greg is on FX during the afternoons, and I'm forced to channel surf to find something worth watching while the big three are dominated by Ray Romano. Luckily, there are two Simpsons episodes a night.

I need a job. Desperately.

A New Post

Writer's block. Sorry.

Hercules and Caccus

This is a picture of me and Anachronism a while ago when we were debating politics. I'm the one with the club who's winning; he's the one with the hooves who's getting the life smacked out of him. Pretty sweet, huh?

Actually, I'm at Father Time's place, showing him how cool Flickr is (thanks once again to The Wife/Molicious for the Flickr account!) and how you can use it to instantly blog pictures at the push of a button... Or, in this case, many buttons, since I'm typing out this long, boring post.

Keep it real, folks. I've got a post that I'm working on for later, and it includes one of Poosh's favorite things: space-based "laser" weapons!

The Definition of Civilization

I have a philosophical question for you folks. As far as I'm concerned, the word "civilization" gets thrown around far more than it ought to be. I think that there's a higher standard for assignment of the word "civilization". Allow me to expand on that.

There are certain words that are bandied about, and treated as if they're congruent terms. Several of these words are "culture", and "society", and "civilization". These terms, however, are not congruent; they are not equal, they do not mean the same thing. They have different standards of use, and mean different things

The basest of these terms is "culture", and it takes very little to qualify. Ancient stick figures painted on a cave wall? That's culture. Culture is the most basic interaction between humans, sometimes not even requiring two humans in the same place. Those cave paintings, for example, could be painted by a lone individual for any number of purposes, and still qualify as elements of culture. I have very little problem with this phrase being thrown around, because it takes very little sophistication in order to satisfy the requirements of culture.

Society is a tad more sophisticated. It requires more of a concerted effort, and it requires interaction of at least two individuals. Society is what you get when you have a group of individuals who live together, endeavour together, build families, villages, settlements, et cetera. Society ranges from simple settlements like Skara Brae, to more complex groups like the Germanic and Celtic tribes of ancient Europe. Society requires a higher standard than culture; just because something is culture, doesn't make it society.

Civilization is the highest standard of the three. The word "civilization" is thrown around with brazen ignorance, often by people who wish to use its connotation in order to justify something. Civilization requires a high standard in order to meet the basic qualifications. Until very recent history, in order to be civilized, very specific requirements had to be met: walled cities, written language, centralized government, et cetera. Civilization requires culture and society, but culture and society do not require or denote civilization. Contrary to popular belief, piling some stones on top of each other does not equal civilization, and a group can not gain legitimacy through such actions.

So, what is the fallout of this clarification? Well, the repercussions are several. First, the cult of political correctness goes absolutely ballistic. Given these circumstances, groups like the American Indians are not considered "civilized"; cultured, yes; social, yes; civilized, no. With a few notable exceptions (many of which are open to interpretation), the American Indians had no written language. They lived in villages, not cities or even towns; they had no centralized government.

The cult of political correctness might blame such statements on "ignorance" or "Eurocentrism"; however, someone with the academic integrity possessed by yours truly will instantly acknowledge that the societies of Europe were, in many cases, just as uncivilized. The Germaic tribes, the Gauls in France, the Celts in Britain and Ireland, the Picts in Scotland, none of these groups possessed civilization. Civilization first stepped foot in Britain when Caesar's Legio X landed there in 55 BC, and wasn't permanently established until the Claudian legions permanently settled a century later.

Contrary to popular belief, words do matter, and they can be used as weapons. I, for one, am tired of hearing ridiculous nonsense about how civilization started in Africa, or about how European settlers destroyed a rich American Indian (or worse, "Native American", as if there's any evidence to suggest such a thing) civilization when they arrived. Was American slavery a horrible, evil practice? Yes; so there's no need to pad it by suggesting that African society possessed something that it didn't. Was the European treatment of American Indians barbaric and unacceptable? In many cases, yes. Since these actions were barbaric, horrible, and unacceptable, then it shouldn't matter what the state of the affected groups was.

There's a propaganda value to assigning undue accolades to a group, and such propaganda can serve to further an agenda. I don't know about you folks, but accurate academic reporting matters to me, and I'm tired of hearing that groups had a "thriving civilization" when they didn't. It doesn't matter to me that I'm part Irish; the Irish Celts didn't have civilization until the Middle Ages. It's fair to expect the same level of academic honesty from other scholars. If I can admit that my ancestors, none of whom were Romans or Greeks, were originally savages and didn't acquire civilization until roughly the same time that all of Europe acquired it, then I don't think it's too much to ask that other scholars (most of whom are descended from the exact same savages) demonstrate more academic honesty than they currently do.

A Modest Request

Is it so much to ask for them to once, just once, show Commander Bond giving Miss Moneypenny the business? Just once! Please!

Self Expression

It's great when a song by a famous band perfectly expresses your situation and feelings on an issue.

Oh your drowning eyes search the swimming skies
For a break in the rain, oh you never change
Slow motion breeze like a star lost in space
Your facts are clear but your point is hazy

I'd like to love you but I think you might be crazy
I'd love to like you, and I think I almost do
I'd like to love you but I think you might be crazy
I'd like to love you, but you make me crazy too

You're a little bird whose song is overheard
Looking over your shoulder, do you want a lover or a soldier
Oh you're not always nice, but you're warmer than ice

I'd like to love you but I think you might be crazy
I'd love to like you, and I think I almost do
I'd like to love you but I think you might be crazy
I'd like to love you, but you make me crazy too

I don't have all the cards I'd like to deal ya
I'm my own best friend, you're your own Ophelia
You're a symphony short one note
You're a winter short of a coat
You might be a petal short of a daisy

I'd like to love you but I think you might be crazy
I'd love to like you, and I think I almost do
I'd like to love you but I think you might be crazy
I'd like to love you, but you make me crazy too

You make me crazy too
- Spin Doctors, "I'd Like to Love You (But I Think You Might be Crazy)

Pretty much, yeah.

Not Good Enough

After the travesty that was "Die Another Day", the Bond franchise can't afford another complete and total failure. Because of that, Quentin Tarantino is a total moron for even offering to direct "Casino Royale".

I Am Alive

I haven't posted anything in the last couple of days because I haven't had the motivation or anything worth writing about. I've spent the entire week fighting off some sort of illness; I don't know if it was the flu, or the latest version of the common cold, but it's been unpleasant. I think I'm in the end stages; I didn't really accomplish much today, but I also didn't feel like the sole survivor of an invasion of the body snatchers. At any rate, I hope to have made a near-total recovery by Monday, which should allow me to start:

Leaving the house

Completing goals set for the week and the year

Special thanks to Father Time, who took time out of his busy day yesterday to call and make sure that I had not died or something. Several others, at least one of whom reads this blog, have checked up on my health regularly over the last week, and it's greatly appreciated.

So, the most profound thought that I've had lately is this: there should be romance strategists. There should be people, aside from "life coaches" and other such folks, who specialize in helping you to meet specific romantic missions. There should be professionals to whom you can say "This is my objective, this is the situation, these are my available resources. What's my plan? What's my strategy? What should I do?", who will then give you a tangible plan for meeting the eventual goal.

Basically, that's what I've been able to come up with. That's my contribution to civilization this week: there should be professional romance strategists.

More as I'm able.

Counseling the Staff

Today, we once again reach back into hallowed antiquity...

Isaac: My name is Isaac Jaffe. I run this place. Anybody else who runs this place, please raise your hand. Good. Couple a things: I'm not quitting and I'm not getting fired. At least not today and probably not
tomorrow. Let me add, Dana, that things that I say in my office, stay in my office.
Dana: Natalie's my second in command, she's the only one I told.
Natalie: Jeremy's my boyfriend, he's the only one I told.
Jeremy: I told many, many people.
Isaac:Elliot? Kim? The production team is, in fact, a team, and you will work
with and for whomever Dana tells you to.
Dana: Thank you.
Isaac: Shut up.
Dana: Okay.
Isaac: Finally, I'd like to say that while there are many programs here at CSC, and there's nothing wrong with healthy competition, we are all a family and
we are to treat each other with professional respect.
Sally: I think I can speak for everyone on the West Coast Update team when I say we have nothing by respect for each and every man and woman who works on Sports Night.
Dan: He's talkin' about you, ya freak!

Now that is leadership, ladies and gentlemen.

Lampooning Fatwas

I received the following link from Father Time. This is the response I sent to him.

Father Time,

The guy makes a good point, of course. I'm not sure whether or not I've heard of Tom Friedman. I know two things along these lines.

A) In a lot of cases, these "condemnations" of bin Laden and terror groups will simultaneously include language against "enemies of Islam"; for example, "We strongly condemn the acts of Usama bin Laden/al Qaeda/Hamas/Islamic Jihad in this latest savage terrorist attack, *but* the dirty Jews/American infidels/whoever had it coming.

B) Islamic organizations condemning terrorism isn't really news for the most part; right after a major attack, such as the fatwa after the 7/7 attack in London, yes. The fatwas that come more regularly, after a car bomb, or a bomb vest/belt attack on a bus or cafe or Iraqi police recruiting station, not so much.

When the Grand Ayatollah Ali Khomenei in Iran joins with "Sir" Iqbal Sacranie of the Muslim Council of Britain, and those two get hooked up on a stage with some liberal Muslims and sing a catchy tune by the name of "Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel, Usama bin Laden sucks ass", then I'll pay more attention.

Fly

That was my response. Thta's my story and I'm sticking to it. I rule.

Fly Report: 05th January 2006

Good morning. Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?

It's 43° Fahrenheit and clouds and wind in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 38° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

The average price of oil is $62.41 (?) per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.76 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame) Today's pic is especially impressive.

Today's scripture reading is Luke 15. The Fly is currently reading The Lord of the Flies by William Golding and Shadow War by Richard Miniter.

And I feel like I'm drifting, drifting, drifting from the shore; and I feel like I'm swimming out to her.

A Supplement

Sorry about the lack of a Fly Report for today. I was up just before 07:30, I had to be out of the house by about 08:35 in order to get to College City for a 09:00 breakfast with Young Nathan. Also, I've got some sort of sickness that I've been trying to push through for the last few days. Combine that with a 23:30 lights out time, and a 02:00 spontaneous wakeup that resulted in a mug of warm milk and two insomniac episodes of Sports Night, I was not in the condition to sit down and concentrate on much today; I'm really still not.

I will take this opportunity to answer a few comments that were left on the preceding thread.

Poosh: You should know by now that I am not, nor have I ever been, nor will I ever be even remotely inclined to being gay. When I stop defending Michelle and start calling you "the lovely and talented Poosh", then you can start speculating.

Jacob: Don't encourage Poosh.

Katie and Father Time: Just as "there is a great disturbance in the Mojo" is a paraphrase of a popular film, I will paraphrase another popular film in answer to your questions...

Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Mojo is. You have to see it for yourself.

In other news, Father Time has finally settled on a title and address for his blog: Father Time's Lighter View. Go check it out and wish Father Time luck; you'll notice that he goads me with a reference to Carl Sagan, a devout agnostic who is quite certifiably dead. When I'm able, either later tonight or at another time (given the sickness and all), I'll address Sagan's outright blasphemy. Until then, I'm going to get a shower and then prepare a cup of tea in an effort to wash the taste of the first few days of 2006 out of my mouth. I sure as hell hope that these first few days have been a fake out.

Thus saith the Fly.

A Special Announcement

I know that most of you have no capacity for recognizing when these things happen, but I feel the need to point out at this point that I have detected a great disturbance in the Mojo. This incident could represent a fundamental shift in the very fabric of space and time and mojo.

Also, for what it's worth, there are only four real dimensions, no matter what physicists will try to tell you: width, length, depth, time. There is a fifth dimension, unknown to most: Mojo. And, as I've already mentioned, there has been a great disturbance in the Mojo.

I'm going to head to bed. G'night, folks. More tomorrow, I promise; if you don't believe me, just ask Father Time, who's given me an official goad on his blog, which I'll link to when he settles on a title and address.

Out of Curiosity

I'm jonesin' for human contact. Most of my friends from college have moved far enough away that it would take at least an hour to drive and meet up with them. So, here's the question: how do you go about meeting people?

Fly Report: 03rd January 2006

Good morning. I ain't got time to bleed.

It's 41° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 47° Fahrenheit with heavy clouds.

The average price of oil is $61.23 (?) per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.72 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame) Today's pic is especially impressive.

Today's scripture reading is Luke 15. The Fly is currently reading The Lord of the Flies by William Golding and Shadow War by Richard Miniter.

A little death, without mourning, no call and no warning; baby, you're a dangerous idea that almost makes sense.

Nice Talking to Me

I won't talk to you, baby, won't talk to you
Baby, 'til you talk to me
I won't walk to you, baby, won't talk to you
Baby, 'til you walk to me
A little bit of love, a little bit of hate
We're too busy talking to communicate
I won't talk to you, baby, won't talk to you
Baby, 'til you talk to me

I don't wanna talk about talking 'bout it
I don't wanna talk about talking 'bout it

Hey hey, honey honey, hey hey
The louder we talk, the less we say
Hey hey, honey honey, can't you see
Talk is cheap but love is free
Nice talking to me

I won't speak to you, baby, won't reach for you
Baby, 'til you reach for me
I can't get contact with you, can't get back to you
Baby, with your back to me
You're talking me down, I'm chatting you up
No one makes a point 'cause we always interrupt
I won't speak for you, baby, won't reach for you
Baby, 'til you reach for me

I don't wanna talk about talking 'bout it
I don't wanna talk about talking 'bout it

Hey hey, honey honey, hey hey
The louder we talk, the less we say
Hey hey, honey honey, can't you see
Talk is cheap but love is free
Nice talking to me

You show me to the door
And nail me to the floor
You're asking me to stay
And then you move away
You love me half the time
And then you draw the line
How I could love you now
If you'd stop explaining how

I won't talk to you, baby, won't talk to you
Baby, 'til you talk to me
I won't walk to you, baby, won't talk to you
Baby, 'til you walk to me

Hey hey, honey honey, hey hey
The louder we talk, the less we say
Hey hey, honey honey, can't you see
Talk is cheap but love is free
Nice talking to me
- Spin Doctors, "Nice Talking To Me"

2006 Resolved

Here's my official list of resolutions for 2006. I'm going to extend my official deadline, so that within fifteen days of New Year's Day, new resolutions can be added. Here's what I have at this point.

Write something worth publishing

Pass the Navy SEAL PFT

Read a minimum of two books per month: one for recreation, one for professional development

Go on at least one photographic expedition per month

So, there you have it. Ambitious? A little. I'll keep you posted regarding my progress.

Fly Report: 02nd January 2006

Good morning. Franky says "relax".

It's 45° Fahrenheit and mostly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 38° Fahrenheit with heavy clouds.

The average price of oil is $60.01 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.72 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 14. The Fly is currently reading The Lord of the Flies by William Golding.

You don't know if it's fear or desire, danger the drug that takes you higher; head in heaven, fingers in the mire.

The Next Read

So, as I've mentioned, I'm trying to figure out what book I should read next. One of my resolutions for 2006, which I'll post about later, is to read two books per month: one for professional development, and one for recreation. I've got a few ideas.

Since I want to be an intelligence analyst, books about the recent history, the culture, and politics of the Middle East and South Asia are at the top of the list. Also legitimate are history books, though they have to be reasonably academic in order to be acceptable. Here are some of the books that I'm considering as my choice for professional development for January.

Night Moves: Inside Wartime Afghanistan by Rob Schultheis (predates 9/11)

Hizb'ullah: Politics and Religion by Amal Saad-Ghorayeb

Shadow War by Richard Miniter

The Sword and the Shield by Christopher Andrew and Vasili Mitrokhin

MI6 by Stephen Dorril

Then there are the books that are on the agenda purely for my enjoyment. Here are a few of the options.

The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell

Confessions by Augustine

Animal Farm by George Orwell

The Lord of the Flies by William Golding

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

There are, of course, other options, but these are the ones that I'm leaning toward. Any input any of you have is welcome. I'll probably post a decision by the end of the day, because the clock is ticking, and I want to get to work.

Fly Report: 01st January 2006

Good morning. It's a time for new beginnings, wankers.

There isn't a snowball's chance in hell of it being 117° Fahrenheit in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 42° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

The average price of oil is $60.01 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.72 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 13. The Fly is currently working to determine what his next reading selection will be, and will post about it presently.

All is quiet on New Year's Day; a world in white gets underway. I want to be with you, be with you night and day; nothing changes on New Year's Day

2005 Ends... Finally

What a difference a year makes. This post will actually register as my first of 2006, because I have it set to Greenwich Mean Time; however, as I live in the Pacific time zone, I'm actually writing this a few minutes before midnight, 31st December 2005.

I'm ready for 2005 to be over. I've been ready for 2005 to be over since October or so. I'm not going to be the whiney negative nelly that Lee was at the end of 2004; I'm just going to say that 2005 did not live up to my expectations, and I look forward to 2006 because 2005 set the bar so low, that 2006 has nowhere to go but up.

And, as a final note, I finished The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien about fifteen minutes ago. It was, by far, the weakest of the three books, just like the movie was the weakest (and longest, very unnecessarily) of the three films. Tomorrow I start another book probably something focusing on my professional development. As I mentioned before, one of my resolutions for the new year is to read one book for recreation and one book for professional development each month.

Bring on 2006! Happy new year, folks! More coming up once I've got a few hours of sleep behind me.

UPDATE: Just for kicks, any input on what I should read next?

Channeling the Inner Frenchman

You know, I thought things like this only happened in Paris!

Life Imitates Art

Remember a few weeks ago when I posted this article from The Onion? Well, you can imagine my shock when I saw this article after logging out of my Yahoo(!) E-Mail. The headline on Yahoo(!)'s frontpage, which reads a bit more grim than the actual article? "Bono: Poverty campaign work almost split U2."

Not surprising; you get the picture, even as far back as the Rattle and Hum movie, that when Bono went off on one of his rants about El Salvador, or Northern Ireland, or Africa, the other three just sort of space out. In fact, they even poked fun at it in an episode of The Simpsons (Trash of the Titans)...

*Bono talking to Homer*
The Edge (to Larry): Oh here we go again. What do you say we slip out to Moe's for a pint?
Adam: Can I come?
*The Edge and Larry Exchange glances*
Edge: No.
Adam: Wankers. *whistles and tunes his bass*

So... Yeah. Pretty much.