The SECRET is yourSELF. The SECRET is your PAIN. The SECRET is letting GO/giving UP/breaking DOWN/giving IN. Giving in to the END. Giving in to the BEGINNING. Giving in to LOVE.
31 December 2007
Fly Report: 31st December 2007
Good morning. On Saturday I realized that I'm old enough to remember when Britney Spears' wedding tackle wasn't a tourist attraction.
It's 45° Fahrenheit and rainy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 25° Fahrenheit with morning snow.
Hey folks. This will be brief. After a very long week, it's finally Friday, but there's still more to do. I work today, I'll spend a large part of the weekend writing my next article, and possibly another article after that, and I have lunch with the rector at the church I've been attending (that's tomorrow). Lots to do, lots to do.
For the record, I'm wearing my kilt to work today. I rule.
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The big news, and I'm guessing that most of you have seen it, is that former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto has been assassinated in Rawalpindi. If you pay attention to the news, you know that it's the biggest story; if you put stock in the news, you probably think that the world is going to come to an end. News of the event sent stocks into a dive and caused a rise in oil prices.
I'm tempted to believe that despite the media furor over this event, the likelihood of this having a lasting effect is questionable. Bhutto had been dismissed twice for corruption, she was seen by many as a political opportunist, and I've heard reports that she only enjoyed the support of thirty to forty percent of the Pakistani people. It's tough to say what the average Pakistani on the ground thinks, but Bhutto had been notably dismissive of threats to her safety. None of this adds up to solid political clout, although there's no doubt that she was a substantial political player. The question, then, is what kind of actual support or potential she had upon her return to Pakistan several months ago; and more importantly now, what kind of impact this assassination will have on the Pakistani elections scheduled for the end of next week.
The other factor in this is that pretty much nobody is saying that President Musharraf did this. Bhutto's staff has blamed President Musharraf for failing to provide sufficient security for her rallies, and Bhutto herself had gone on record as saying that she would blame Musharraf personally if any harm came to her. For those who don't speak politicalese, here's the translation: she knew people were trying to kill her, she provided herself as a target, criticized the amount of security that was provided to her, and pre-blamed President Musharraf. Politics, folks, not legitimate statements in my opinion. At any rate, unless this can be pinned on Musharraf, I don't see it causing a severe disruption in Pakistan (and by extension, Afghanistan, Iran, Balochistan, and Waziristan) since it really has everything to do with the continued threat of the militants in Waziristan and the Northwest Frontier Province. And why am I compelled to believe that Musharraf didn't have anything to do with this? I believe that Musharraf had more to gain from defeating Bhutto in an election (legitimate or not) than he did by having her killed.
To conclude, I think that this could have serious repercussions, but I'm compelled to take a "wait and see" attitude, rather than running around like Chicken Little. Short term? Probably turmoil. Long term? Pakistan will probably continue to be the chaotic political jungle that it's been since it was founded in 1947.
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And now, just because it's what I seem to do lately, your entertaining link of the day: A Tribute to Real Men.
North Carolina: World's Biggest Swamp (Other Than Georgia)
Hey folks. This week has crazy - even for someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas, it's pretty much impossible to escape from (unless, of course, one moves to Saudi Arabia or Pakistan - no thanks!). Just a couple of quick things.
First, following up on that BNL video from yesterday, I present a great clip from Friends: the Holiday Armadillo.
I went to see Charlie Wilson's War last night. From the look of it, I thought it was going to be a liberal propaganda fest, but Medved said it wasn't political and gave it a good rating, so I went to see it. There were hints of politics in it, particularly at the end (although, to be fair, that bit at the end is only political if people actually have any clue about history; for most, it would just be an indictment of American policy in general). Anyway, I'm making it out to be worse than it is. If you like Tom Hanks (which I do), or Julia Roberts (which I don't), or if you've ever even heard of Philip Seymour Hoffman (apparently he's been in numerous movies that I never saw), this is worth going to see.
For anyone who actually read my post from yesterday (translation: if you didn't read it yesterday, go read it now and come back), you'll remember that part of my 25th December involved getting "lost"* in North Carolina. It wasn't my fault, as some kids had apparently pushed over the street sign I was looking for. The interesting follow-up to that is this: apparently, at no time when I was "lost" was I any further than about ten or twelve miles from the international headquarters of Blackwater Worldwide. The folks who I was visiting down there told me that Blackwater's digs were in their back yard, but I had no clue it was that close - within about two miles. I didn't find out the proximity until I was getting my daily satellite map fix, but it's pretty convenient because I'd like to take a couple of their courses that are open to the public (like the Bushmaster Carbine Operator Course or the Pistol/Carbine course - even though the Bushmaster AR-15/M4 is an inferior system). This is within an hour drive of Van Dieman's Station, and now that I know where it is, that makes it all the more tangible to actually go and do one or two of these classes while I'm living here.
Even though it's too late for this information to do anyone any good as far as holiday gift shopping is concerned, it's worth noting that shemaghs make excellent gifts. I use mine all the time - though not in the way that's pictured. Just saying.
Today, I present three items pertaining to Apocalypse Now, plus some fascinating reading material about how ineffective Russian tactical, operational, and strategic doctrine was as of 1994.
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When I was in college, we used to watch the scene above right before any exam from Professor Augustus, and maybe one or two from Professor Benstein. We'd study until we were too squirrely, and then before we went downstairs from our study room to the exam itself, we'd fire up my laptop and watch that scene. It was a tradition, a premature victory dance before we went and took a couple of years off of the design lifetime of our wrists.
One time, in June of 2003, one of our professors walked by the conference room as four or five of us guys were huddled around my laptop screen, carrying out this hallowed ritual. (I don't remember if I've assigned him a blog pseudonym, so we'll call him Professor Komrade since he was the Russian history guy.) He looked in the door, and announced, "Oh, good, you guys finally cracked the password to that Girls Gone Wild video." He walked away, straight-faced, and everyone in the room broke out in thunderous laughter. It continues to be one of my favorite stories from all of college.
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Following up on the previous story: when I was living at Zoo Station, I had an epiphany, and called Rampage, Big Red, and Laud to leave a new version of the venerable quote on their respective voicemails:
You smell that? You smell that!? Chili, son! Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of chili in the morning. You know, one time we had some chili? For twelve hours, and when it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of them, not one stinking bean. And the smell, you know, that chili smell? The whole hill! Smells like... Victory... Someday this barbecue's gonna end.
Needless to say, it was well-received.
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Well, my 25th December didn't go quite according to plan. I ended up doing something that I never thought I'd do, particularly on the biggest holiday in the world: I got lost in North Carolina. I have to give mad props to my uncle back home, who spent half an hour on the phone with me as I drove and he checked Mapquest for me. Honestly, it was much easier to find things in the desert than it was to find my destination in North Carolina. Of course, from now on it will be a great memory, one that I can share with my uncle - those are always outstanding.
Back in September, I posted a link I found to a Cold War era (and later) publication by the U.S. Army OpFor organizations called "Red Thrust Star", which was meant to keep folks appraised of developments in Soviet/Communist Bloc/post-Soviet Russian tactics, strategy, doctrine, and technology. One of the most fascinating items I found, and one that I referenced back in September, is a three part series on the Russian failure in Grozny, Chechnya in 1994. They're presented in part one, part two, and part three. It's interesting reading, even if you're not well versed in military science and history; and also very pertinent with respect to issues of counterinsurgency and urban combat. The Wikimapia interactive satellite map of Grozny itself can be found here.
Alright, folks, time is short. Be of good cheer on this Boxing Day, and check back for more tomorrow.
Hey folks! That's right, it's Christmas Eve (well, Christmas Day when I actually post this), and your most excellent host the Fly is avoiding the temptation to celebrate. A little bit more about that later. There are a few things that I want to post this evening, so in a continuing bid to keep myself awake I'm going to go ahead and write them up. Fair warning: I'm video-happy tonight.
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I've been horrible about posting lately - well, not so much about posting, but about posting news. Because of that, I'm going to post some of the lighter news items - things like the articles I've been collecting about China, or Iran, or various other topics will have to wait. Tomorrow (Christmas Day) should fairly quiet, so maybe I can scrape a few of them together then.
For a long time, I've been monitoring the same three main news sites: Fox, CNN, and the BBC. I've sort of hemmed and hawed on Spacewar. I used to monitor Tech Central Station on a daily basis, but now I look at it about once every six months, if that. This summer I started checking Family Security Matters on a regular basis - I don't always appreciate the openly political bent, but I've found some great articles there.
Being the Anglophile that I am, I've also started looking at two of the more reputable British dailies (which really isn't saying that much): the Times, and the Guardian. Both of these are on my sidebar, but I'm going to admit something, just this once, because it's Christmas and nobody is actually reading this: half of those links are a failed attempt to get me to actually look at those pages on a regular basis. However, as I mentioned, I've been looking at the Times and the Guardian lately, and I may start looking at the Daily Telegraph. At some point, all of this may be consolidated down to the big three again in the interests of time, but for the time being I'm using these numerous sources to educate myself about what's going on in the world on any given day.
One story I found to be interesting was this story that I found. It details the experiment conducted by some scientists at the North Pole, who intentionally encased a ship in ice to prove that it could drift. It's unclear whether or not Vice President Gore was there, hunting for Manbearpig.
One thing that I think I'll pay some attention to (which means, do some casual research and maybe write a little bit about) in the coming year is the attempts at the turn of the century to transform the American military, and what the results have been. I've found a couple of articles about this lately, one at Spacewar about how the goals of former SecDef Rumsfeld have proven unreasonable for the wars of the near future; and another about an experiment conducted in 2002 in which the initial results were completely unexpected. Personally, I think that some of the concepts (such as the troubled Littoral Combat Ship) have been good, while others (like Seabasing) have been completely misguided. The bottom line, though, is that in the late 1990's, our vision of post-Cold War conflicts ended up being drastically different than what we were to face in the coming years. As a result, the attempts to "transform" the military ("transportation" being a big buzz word in upper echelon circles over the last few years) has proven costly and counterproductive, with valuable defense dollars being channeled to projects like the completely unmatched F-22 Raptor and the Light Armored Vehicle, when what we would really end up needing were thinks like MRAP vehicles and more reliable rifles. As a taxpayer, an international security specialist, and a supporter of operations in Afghanistan and Iraq, I find these developments to be very, very frustrating. (And I know that I brag up the Marines on a regular basis, but they've really proven themselves better at this than the other services - they get more effective tools for their money, particularly when compared to the Army.)
Peter Jackson is slated to make two films based on The Hobbit, the precursor to The Lord of the Rings. I think this is pretty cool, and I'll look forward to going to see these movies. Interestingly enough, this conjures up a really entertaining video clip...
I know, I really need to learn how to stop myself. It's all Mighty Mo's fault, without her I would have never figured out that you could embed a video. Anyway, the other interesting story is that they were able to trace Arthur Guinness' lineage. They demonstrated that he didn't come from the distinguished family that he claimed to come from, but I think it's fair to say that he's more than surpassed those wankers in popularity and importance - after all, his beer (the finest in the world) has made him legendary the world over.
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Long-time readers of this blog will know that I made the decision a few years ago to stop celebrating Christmas, because its actual origins have nothing to do with the Christian faith and, let's face it, I'm a total scrooge as it is. (My big sister Mo will attest to this - she knows how cheap I am, and how that impacts the way I live my life.) It's become more and more apparent to me this year just how huge the Christmas hype is, and just how much impact it has on so many people's lives.
So here I sit. I've always perceived Christmas Eve as "Christmas" - when I lived at home, we always celebrated Christmas Eve with my dad's side of the family, and Christmas Day with my mom's side, and I was always closer with my dad's side of the family than with my mom's.
Honestly, I feel really isolated tonight. Everyone else is celebrating with family or friends, and I'm not only not celebrating, but I'm also more than two thousand extra miles away from home than I was last year. (Well, to be fair, I was only about fifty miles from home last year, but that's not the point I'm trying to make.)
Part of my beef with the celebration of Christmas is that its origins have nothing to do with Christianity; another is that even those who choose to celebrate it (read: almost everyone) completely ignore what they think is the basis for the holiday, namely the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It's odd that on 24th December, 2007, I'm actually listening to the one Christmas album I own: Christmas by Chris Isaak. What's the irony? Only one song on the whole album mentions Jesus, at all; nearly all of the songs, from "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" to "Gotta Be Good" are secular for what is, at its core, a holiday that originally had nothing to do with Jesus at all. Plus, it's Chris Isaak. Chris Isaak are like Albert Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity: normal rules don't apply.
(Another irony is that the song that mentions Jesus gets it wrong, claiming that Jesus was born in the "Last Month of the Year" - Jesus was more than likely born in the spring or autumn.)
And of course, I'm compelled to be completely hypocritical, because I've also been listening to a Christmas song that I downloaded for my mp3 player months ago: a combination of "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen" and "We Three Kings", performed by the Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan on the Barenaked for the Holidays. Hey, at least it's a pair of songs that are actually about the birth of Christ, right? You can see a low quality version of the video below.
Wasn't that pleasant? For the founder of the Lillith Fair and a band who call themselves the "Barenaked Ladies", it's really a pretty beautiful rendition of both songs.
So, yeah. It's Christmas and, at the very least, I hope everyone's having fun, whether you celebrate or not.
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After consulting with Desert Rat Tim, I think that I'm now in the market for an FN FAL. The FAL almost became the standard infantry rifle of the United States military before the M14 was adopted in its stead. Since most of the countries that used to use it have retired it, FN FAL rifles have become available on the surplus market. A video about the weapon is below.
Some of you may be interested to watch that whole video series, which goes from the M14 at number ten (underrated) to the M16 and AK-47 rounding out numbers two and one respectively. Personally, I think that the M14 was underrated and got short shrift, and that's evidenced by the fact that the M14 is seeing a resurgence in Iraq and Afghanistan. Having spoken with Desert Rat Tim, it sounds as if the FN FAL is very similar, but without as many maintenance requirements as the M14. I may try to put a few rounds down range with his before forking over the money for one of my own, though. More on this as it develops.
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Alright, folks, if any of you are actually reading this, I hope you're having a great day. And, for the record, I was hypocritical again last night: I attended the candlelight Eucharist at the church I've been frequenting. Having been up since 04:30, I was hurting to stay awake, but it was a beautiful service and I'm glad I went, even though it will create scheduling issues today.
We're just a few short days from 2008. I don't know about you folks, but I'm actually pretty stoked. I'll refine my list of targets for '08 over the next couple of days and post them here. In the mean time... Well, I have a few news stories, but not enough time to put them into a coherent post at the moment. It's worth mentioning, though, that my current two-parter for my parallel writing endeavour is about why the DoD agencies needs a more reliable rifle and better uniforms, and lo and behold, an article made its way into my sphere that's directly pertinent. I may try to have that, and the rest of the article, up by Wednesday.
Today's satellite image is the Castle Rock, on the south fork of the Shoshone River in northwest Wyoming. I should post a real picture of it. Hmmm.
Assuming that Mighty Mo is looking for relief from the holidays, I present the Keeping Mo Entertained video of the day: How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked By the Police!
Does anyone think that Chairman Mao or Joe Stalin were ever referred to as "Big Red"?
The Great Facebook Marriage Hoax continues to fool folks. I got a voicemail last night from a confused Sister Hippie Chick (who didn't believe anything was up until she saw that ring picture) and a text message from the Pseudo-Cousin. Hilarious. Manda and I continue to live it up, so this particular hoax shows no signs of slowing down.
Have fun today, folks, and check back tomorrow for more outstanding nonsense from your most excellent host, the Fly.
Remember this post about Friar Dave and his whirlwind completion of a twenty page paper? Well, we have an update, and some other funny stuff about the state of modern historical study.
Friar Dave: For the record, i got an A in the class with the 20 pager The Fly: With the twenty pager, or in spite of it? Friar Dave: I assume with. there werent really any other grades during the semester to speak of Friar Dave: it was an independent study The Fly: What was the paper on? Friar Dave: the books i'd read and discussed through the semester, and how they have responded (if at all) to a seminal historiographical article back from '89 The Fly: Okay. Friar Dave: also, in academic news, i just got an email from the department for a call for papers for a conference (i kid you not) with the following title Friar Dave: Friar Dave: The Fly: Did you just try to type something? Friar Dave: Sexing the Look: A Regional Interdisciplinary Conference on the Impact of Sexualized Imagery in Visual Popular Culture The Fly: And you've written on that? Friar Dave: no no Friar Dave: its a call for papers for a "serious" "academic" conference Friar Dave: i just got the email fwd'd from the dept The Fly: Interesting. Friar Dave: bologna is what it is Friar Dave: but it could be that i'm becoming a history snob The Fly: So it's historical sexualization of visual pop culture they're looking for? Friar Dave: not necessarily. but it got sent to our dept, so historians could enter papers The Fly: And for the record, it doesn't take much to be a history snob, what with the focus on race and gender. The baby boomers can't die off fast enough to suit me. Friar Dave: i could do without those myself Friar Dave: i'll bbl The Fly: k
The state of historical scholarship has really slid since the sixties, and as with many other things I hope that it will improve once baby boomers begin to retire. There's a lot of focus on "race and gender", and other so-called victim groups. The other thing that's bugged me, from museums to my own department at [Generic University], is the focus on the "social history" of common folks. Common people are the "most interesting" part of history? Nonsense. It's just sad.
For the record, I neither condone nor recommend Friar Dave's method of historical writing; in fact, I'd say it's dangerous, bordering on academic suicide.
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I started reading Dune when I was in high school, and eventually reread the beginning and finished it when I was traveling in the United Kingdom in 2004. It's a semi-impressive book, but by the end I was quite disappointed with the style in which the book had ended. I also had no clue what it was about, as I'd read the Spark Notes (not even worth linking to) for more context, but they held inaccurate information, referring to the drug culture of the sixties while completely ignoring the Middle Eastern influences and the (now) obvious allegory of the melange spice to Middle Eastern oil.
At least a year ago, I posted this link, a list of Arabic references in the book. I also found last night, much to my joy, that Children of Dune is on YouTube. If you have any interest, you can start watching right about here.
What about you folks? What are you reading right now, and what do you hope to read in 2008?
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You read the title correctly: the Fly is a hairy, drunken liar.
I'm growing a beard. As some of you will have seen from pictures over the last year and a half that I grew a goatee upon my arrival in California. OUt of lack of female prospects here, and out of boredom, I decided to grow a full beard - which is to say, I've allowed my sideburns and my goatee to connect. I can't actually grow a mustache (hopefully by the time I'm thirty?), so I look like I'm Amish... Well, with the military-style haircut, I look like an Amish G.I. Joe. Maybe I'll take some pictures.
I'm not actually drunken, but this Fly Report alluded to a brief project I undertook lately. Last week, I stocked up on beer - probably enough beer to last me for at least a month, maybe more. I bought Guinness, Widmer Hefeweizen, Killian's Irish Red, Samuel Adams Winter Lager, and Carlsberg. I decided that, in my continuing effort to become a highly qualified beer connoisseur, I ought to start mixing things up, so I got three of my standards (the first three) and two alternates (the second two). However, I wanted to switch them up a bit, so I developed a system. In each six pack carrier, I kept two of the original brand that came within it. After that, I put one of each of the other four brands, all of them organized in exactly the same slots. That way, as I drink beer throughout the next month and a half, it will be sufficiently randomized. Most excellent? Absolutely. Completely and totally anal retentive? No question whatsoever.
As far as my dishonesty, I've perpetrated a most excellent hoax, as evidenced by the picture above. Some of you will remember Manda, who used to comment frequently at TSTF. Both of us are on Facebook, and she was bored at work last week. One thing led to another, and the final fallout is that we changed our status to "married". Then she changed her last name to my own. Then I uploaded the picture you see above (relax, it's sterling silver). It's been truly entertaining to watch the fallout, from wall posts to private messages to mobile phone text messages - all of it culminating in a phone call from Michelley, who I haven't been able to get a hold of since June (despite a trip to Texas in which I was quite excited to see her). The best part, of course, is that Manda's a stone cold fox (and completely diabolical), and it's been simply brilliant to carry on such an entertaining ruse with her.
That, dear friends, is why the Fly is a hairy, drunken liar.
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Today's satellite image can be seen here. It's the Clarence Hotel in Dublin, home of the Octagon Bar where yours truly enjoyed two pints. What's makes the Clarence and the Octagon Bar interesting? They're partly owned by Bono, the Pope, and The Edge, the Prime Cardinal.
In keeping with this week's theme of entertaining Mighty Mo at work, I present "Daft Bodies".
Needless to say, I have zero sympathy with the Hollywood writers' strike. They've been producing almost nothing but rubbish for the last few years anyway, and their failure to do good work is highlighting talented efforts by much more talented folks on the Internet. As odd as this one is, it's evidence that being an overpaid Hollywood screen writer does not equate to having talent or originality. If you ask me, the Screen Writers' Guild can rot.
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Have great success this weekend, folks, and tune in next week!
I finished the book of Genesis yesterday. I spent a few minutes yesterday going through old Fly Reports in an effort to keep track of which books of the Bible I've actually read during the last couple of years. When my grandfather died in January of 2005, I started reading the Bible by reading Job, and in October of that year I started tracking my Bible reading via the Fly Report. I still have quite a bit of reading to do before I've finished it, and since I didn't track it initially I'll have to do some rereading. Luckily, and unlike J.D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye", there really isn't anything in the Bible that isn't worth rereading.
So, what do I have to read and/or reread? Well, there's Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, 1 Kings, 2 Kings, 1 Chronicles, 2 Chronicles, Esther, Psalms, Isaiah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi, Matthew, John, Galatians, Philippians, Titus, Philemon, James, 1 Peter, 2 Peter, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John, and Jude. Come to think of it, I know I read Jude, so I'll cross that bad boy (good boy?) off. I may try to read several of these over the next few days - there are worse things in life than sitting down to read the Bible for a half hour.
Anyway.
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A couple of quick bits in the way of news.
Everyone knows that I'm a huge fan of Guinness - in fact, I just enjoyed a delicious Guinness Stout last night. A few weeks ago, thieves in Ireland drove right in, hooked up a truck to a trailer loaded with about four hundred fifty full kegs, and drove off. (AP, BBC) I saw an article a week or two ago saying they'd made some arrest, but I can't find it in my magic list of articles destined for eventual posting or deletion. I wish I had a couple hundred kegs of Guinness. That'd be sweet.
In other news, they've discovered a Roman throne in Herculaneum (which is next to Pompeii, both of which were destroyed by the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in 79 AD) and a set of Roman surgical tools in Remini, nearer to Venice. I love it when they find old Roman stuff; in fact, I ought to post a research paper I wrote on some finds. Maybe next week?
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Continuing on this week's theme of entertaining Mighty Mo at work, but breaking from the theme of abnormal a capella selections from choirs staffed by young folks, I present two videos with a Scottish theme. First, Mark Day, an unfortunately Liberal import from Scotland who's quite funny when he's not talking about politics.
And after that, something that has no political value, and that is especially crass (read: not safe for work if you have speakers): "Evil Scotsman" by Billy Connolly, to the tune of "One Hand In My Pocket" by Alanis Morrisette.
I post these things with the knowledge that if Mighty Mo isn't amused and entertained by these selections, I'm due to get a severe beating the next time I visit Texas. And since I still love Wikimapia: Julius Caesar was cremated here, and I've thrown flowers on that very spot.
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Right then, time to get ready for work. Have fun today, folks.
Due to an unusually long wait for a haircut (which is to say, going back an hour later, and then going back another half hour later), I didn't get a whole lot done last night. I wanted to post a couple of things, though.
I love Wikimapia. I really do. It may be in my top ten websites ever. I'm a total geography nerd, have been since I was nine years old and got the highest score in the class (two hundred and fifteen points out of one hundred) on our year-end geography quiz. I love finding places where I've been in Europe, places where I've been in the United States, and places where I want to go. One place I've been is the Royal Marines Museum in Eastney, Hampshire County, United Kingdom. Apparently nobody's marked it, but I'll try to remedy it this evening. You can see it here; actually, I have the crosshairs sighted in on a statue dedicated by Baroness Thatcher and based upon this picture, but you can follow the sand car park and the path to the museum itself. Also worth noting are the old battlements that border the east side of the car park. Did I mention I love Wikimapia?
In a continuing effort to entertain Mighty Mo at work, I'm following up yesterday's video of some a capella group singing "Cry Me A River" by Justin Timberlake with an a capella group from UC Berkeley singing "Bitches Ain't Shit" by Dr. Dre. They ostensibly perform it in the style of the somewhat better-known Ben Folds cover of the song.
I saw Ben Folds live in concert when he opened up for John Mayer in Las Vegas. Mayer was okay, but he looked like he'd just rolled out of bed; he also makes facial expressions when he's playing the guitar that make him appear to have just sprayed his shorts. Most disconcerting. Anyway, not only was Ben Folds hilarious with both this song and One Down (which made the disturbing prospect of sitting through John Mayer with the girl I was seeing that much easier), but discussion of his song "Brick" (which is about Ben Folds and his then-girlfriend going to a doctor to have their unborn baby killed) led to the discovery that the girl I was dating was pro-choice. Good information for a pro-lifer like yours truly to know early on.
For some reason, even though it was a completely different girlfriend, I'm compelled right now to state my continued position that the Whore should be hit by a double-decker bus, in God's mercy.
The only other item I have for today is an MSN slideshow of the top ten islands in the world. Now, I can understand not having Orkney on the list, even though it's the best island ever; and I'll give them credit for having Vancouver Island on there, because Vancouver Island is excellent. However, I must call into question the comprehensive nature of the "World's Best Awards: Top 10 Islands" list when three of the Islands are in Hawaii. Tell me honestly: are three islands in such close proximity really diverse enough to qualify for three different spots on the list? Orkney Mainland, folks. Seriously.
I'm still curious what everyone's resolutions for 2008 are. Please post them in the comments section.
Good morning. Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway(?), where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points don't matter, just like N'SYNC's dance steps!
It's 39° Fahrenheit and cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 42° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.
Hey folks! It was a busy weekend, and although later this week looks fairly clear, it was an unexpectedly busy Monday evening for yours truly. The article I promised will have to wait until later in the week, as I was forced to parse it into two parts due to time constraints on Sunday. There are a few other things that I'll be posting this week, but I wanted to share these tidbits from my good friend, Friar Dave.
As some of you will remember, Friar Dave is a graduate student at a major midwestern university, studying and teaching on the subject of medieval and ancient history. From time to time, when he gets entertaining answers on various exams, he shares them with me, and I share them with you (with his permission, of course). We have a real gem today.
Friar Dave: are you going anywhere in the next 15 minutes or so? The Fly: Nowhere fast. Friar Dave: All right. I have one more list of gems for you, but i need to organize them. The Fly: Okay. Friar Dave: so give me a few and i'll get back to ya The Fly: Perfect. Friar Dave: It's worth the wait, I promise. The Fly: I'm not going anywhere. Watching a video about Mormonism on the Interweb. Friar Dave: I'll whet your appetitie by noting that multiple students marked "Babylon" on the map portion for where Constantinople should be The Fly: Appetitie? Freudian slip? The Fly: ROFL The Fly: Well, the place is Istanbul now, so they're not THAT far off. Friar Dave: they had three choices, Byzantium, Constantinople, or Istanbal. All of which would be right. Babylon? Wrong. The Fly: Hahaha I'm laughing over here, this is great. Friar Dave: That was just to warm you up to it. Friar Dave: One of the other map locations was Hadrian's Wall. To you and me pretty simple, right? Not to the students. More than a fifth of what i graded got it wrong. Answers included Hinslish's Wall Harenia Hassium's Wall ______ Wall Hadman's Wall Wall of Britain Somebody's Wall Whittman's Wall Harudin's Wall Habian's Wall The Habeis Wall The Berlin Wall Haritre's Wall The Fly: WTF? The Fly: Hinslish? Hassium? Whittman? The Fly: These are great! Friar Dave: *shrug* Friar Dave: granted, it was the first time a manmade structure was tested over, but it was on the study map, we'd talked about it in class, and they should have known it. The Fly: Yeah, that's not a tough one. The Fly: The Berlin Wall has to be a joke answer. Friar Dave: you would suppose. Friar Dave: That's all i got. I have to go write a twenty page paper. The Fly: Hahaha The Fly: Alright, it'll get posted. Very good, sir.
For the record, the correct answer (as Friar Dave and I indicated) is Hadrian's Wall, a structure that I've visited in spirit - I arrived in Carlisle on 11th September 2004 (which I've blogged about before), only to find that Carlisle was in the west, and all of the actual remains were nearer to Newcastle in the east. I remember eating at a little Italian joint, very classy, called the Ristorante Adriano; I remember it really clearly, actually, due in no small part to the fact that there were a number of attractive young waitresses, dressed entirely in black; they weren't allowed to just stand around, so they seemed to float about the room like black-clad ghosts. Looking through my travel journal from that 2004 expedition (which took me to Scotland, Orkney, Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland, and France, not to mention England and Germany which I'd visited over the preceding weeks), I actually found a napkin from that restaurant that's traveled something on the order of ten or twelve thousand miles in the last three and a half years.
Anyway, nostalgia aside, Friar Dave mentions that he has a twenty page paper to write. When I arrived back at Van Dieman's Station last evening, I promptly received another message from him:
Friar Dave: i do not recommend what i just did The Fly: ? Friar Dave: i just wrote a 20 page paper in nineteen and a half hours The Fly: Holy shit, that thing must be terrible! Friar Dave: there's a good posibility The Fly: Hahaha
Highly entertaining. For the record, a twenty pager usually takes me at least a week to write - one time I wrote a thirty-seven pager that took me a solid two weeks. For the good Friar to have written one in only nineteen hours is both a testament to human endeavour, and a scathing admission of inadequate preparation. Kudos to him!
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In a continuing effort to keep Mighty Mo entertained at work, I present the video of the day: an a capella rendition of "Cry Me A River" by Justin Timberlake by a bunch of dudes dressed up as nerds.
Not normally my kind of music, but I'm pretty sure that Timberlake at least wrote the song (he had to have collaborated on it, at least), and it's sort of catchy. These guys give it a good rendering. Enjoy!
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I'm curious, and I'll keep this brief (as I hear Mighty Mo snickering): have any of you regulars figured out any resolutions for 2008? I'm curious what you're dedicated to accomplishing. I'll post a comprehensive list of my own in a few weeks, but my underlying resolution, I think, is going to be to force a degree of balance on myself. I feel like there are enough things dragging me to and fro in my life that I ought to make a conscious effort to find equilibrium, and I think the search for that equilibrium (among other things) will be my big focus in 2008. How about you?
Have a great day, and stay tuned - there's more comin', I guarantee.
Hey folks. I've been very nearly silent lately, in part because I've been busy, and in part because I spent so much time writing a few weeks ago. I'm still trying to get on kilter and establish a regular schedule here - a few more projects remain before I'll really be able to do that without equivocation. I've grabbed a large number of links lately that need to be posted (or else they'll just have to be filed into my already massive list of unposted links), so I'll try to post some of them on Monday - or Tuesday, actually, because I have an article due Sunday for my parallel writing endeavour, and that will be posted Monday.
I'm going to keep this post light, and a lot of it is going to be a continuation of one of my favorite periodic features here at TSTF: history exam essay mistakes, provided by my friend Dave. Dave is a PhD candidate in classics and medieval history at a major midwestern university. Here goes!
Friar Dave: apparently (so a student tells me) Tacitus describes some part of germanic culture as "unorthodox" Friar Dave: and also tacitus describes the german people "as savage pagans who do not belong in the german empire."
The significance of those (and Dave knows this) is that a lot of my own research has revolved around the works of Gaius Cornelius Tacitus, one of the most respected historians in imperial Rome. Keep reading.
Friar Dave: "the Huns were a Germanic tribe from the Hunnic empire led by Attilla the Hun" The Fly: Hunnic empire! Ha! Friar Dave: let alone the ID being mentioned 3 times in the definition
The Hunnic Empire? Brilliant! This next bit has nothing to do with daft college students, and everything to do with my legendary boycott of Christmas.
Friar Dave: have you seen the stand-up Jim Gaffigan? The Fly: Yeah, I have indeed. Friar Dave: you've seen his holiday bit? The Fly: Holiday bit? Friar Dave: sorry ran to campus. (just before you wrote that) The Fly: np Friar Dave: Jim Gaffigan has a bit on holidays mocking traditions that don't make sense Friar Dave: given your views on the upcoming Solstace holiday, i think you'd appreciate it Friar Dave: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjJCIbC9sxA
It's really a funny clip, and makes some great points about traditions from a number of holidays (a few of which are addressed by education about the origin of the traditions - particularly for Christmas and Easter). This next exchange demonstrates just how little attention the poor student paid in class.
Friar Dave: and btw, what would you give an ID on constantine that just mentions his administrative reform and nothing about religion Friar Dave: (out of ten) The Fly (1:47:26 PM): Um, I'd talk about the tetrarchy, maybe? And mention that he became the emperor by winning a major battle near Rome? You're right, that'd be tough. Friar Dave: i gave it 8 of ten. the admin stuff's important, but you have to have both.
For those of you who aren't Roman history buffs, Dave was particularly generous. Constantine's single most important contribution to history was his tolerance of Christianity. This will be discussed more below - after this second reference to Tacitus.
Friar Dave: oh, incidentally, i can't not tell you this one. One person got confused and referred to St. Paul as Saul of Tacitus. The Fly: ROFL The Fly: I actually clapped at that one.
Very nice. And now, the continuation of the discussion of Constantine.
Friar Dave: you know how sick i am of seeing that constantine made Christianity the state relgion? Friar Dave: stupid da vinci code. The Fly: Very sick of it, I'd imagine. The Fly: You wouldn't say that Constantine did that? Friar Dave: im sorry if im boring you with grading comments The Fly: No, not at all, I find them highly entertaining. Friar Dave: he just legalized it / made it tolerable / ended persecution Friar Dave: Theodosius I made it the official state religion, and Theodosius II made it mandatory for state office Friar Dave: Granted, C also funded church building projects and oversaw the Nicean council, and as head of state, that's significant, but it doesnt mean it was "official" or that other religions were outlawed The Fly: That's fair. The other thing that happened under Constantine was that for the first time, people started converting for political convenience, not out of religious conviction. The Fly: So I'd say that Constantine indirectly made it the de facto state religion, even if your students don't know that. Friar Dave: we could quibble about the de facto part. What was presented in class, anyway, though is that it wasnt yet "official" Friar Dave: but your right, under him it bacame the religion of power Friar Dave: you might have a fit here with all the revisionism around The Fly: And you're at an advantage over me because I haven't studied that period since Spring '04, but the bottom line is I sympathize with you because even though I'm right, as usual, you're also right in this case. Friar Dave: i'll take what i can get Friar Dave: haha
Obviously, Dave and I have a very stable friendship and a very secure professional relationship: I bust him in the chops, and he folds like a cheap card table. This next one is priceless!
Friar Dave: ok, i've got one for you. I'll type what the student did and tne try and translate The Fly: k Friar Dave: (this is in the essay on the spread of christianity from a jewish sect to religion of Rome) "Jesus Christ was just one of many Jews who were crucified to try and stop the spread and worship of christianity using fear tactics ." Friar Dave: They mean to say the romans used fear tactics such as crucifixiont to stop the spread of christianity, and this included Christ death Friar Dave: Problematically, even deciphered as such, how could christianity be spreading before the death of christ? The Fly: Wow. This is going to basically be an entire blog post.
An entire blog post, indeed!
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A couple of random things.
I think I've mentioned her before, but I originally saw Stephanie Schneiderman a few years ago, and I remain on her mailing list. Stephanie, who's had mostly local/regional exposure in Portland, Oregon, also performs with a girl group called Dirty Martini. They did an in-studio podcast with a Portland radio station, and not only do I want to link to it, but I want to test my tech skills. So here we go.
UPDATE: It worked! Sweet!
I'm also curious about whether or not direct links on Wikimapia work, so I'm posting a link of site that I was able to track down in Dublin - a very important site, really. Originally I'd found a site that was part of my life back at Zoo Station, but I decided to upgrade my search parameters. Behold, Mecca's Rival.
The other thing that I intend to work on, and already did some exploration for, is a project that I worked on when I was in high school - in fact, this was a solid decade ago. When I was in high school, I was a regular user of IRC, and did some very basic edits to some of the files on mIRC. As part of my continuing "drinking from the firehose" education in technology updates since I was in high school (which will eventually include learning how to work with RSS feeds), my hope is to do some new edits to some of those same files in mIRC - at least to the point of being as capable of editing as I was as a high school sophomore in 1997/'98. It's not complex or difficult, but every little bit of understanding on this stuff helps.
It's interesting that this renewed interest in editing mIRC has come up at this stage of my life, given the level of interest I now have in Middle Eastern politics. mIRC was written by Khaled Mardam-Bey, who is half-Syrian, half-"Palestinian", but who's lived most of his life in the United Kingdom. The success of mIRC, which Khaled wrote when he was a Master's candidate in Cognitive Intelligence. Unfortunately, as much as I may respect him as a software developer, I think that his ideas about the situation in the Levant are remarkably myopic.
On the topic of technical stuff, you folks (especially those of you who are bored at work) may enjoy The Game of Life, a pseudo-AI game developed by some dude who had way too much time on his hands.
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I really want to post more, but my need to get to bed at a decent time exceeds my want to do more typing (while being distracted by instant messages and stuff going on on Facebook). Have a great weekend, folks - there are stories brewing that will keep you entertained throughout next week!
Today's scripture reading is Genesis 43. The Fly is reading How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill (though I'm reading this with someone else, so this entry will probably change in the next day or two to whatever I decide to read on my own).
Good morning. If you think that Clay Aiken is straight, I have a beautiful piece of land you might be interested in at Dien Bien Phu in Vietnam - unspoiled, and guaranteed to be free of the ghosts of dead French Foreign Legionnaires!
It's 50° Fahrenheit and fair in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 29° Fahrenheit with afternoon snow showers.
Good morning. If the Fly had a dollar for every anal retentive thing he'd ever done, he'd be able to buy a lifetime supply of cleaning products for Mighty Mo.
It's 46° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 35° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.
Today's scripture reading is Genesis 42. The Fly is reading How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill (though I'm reading this with someone else, so this entry will probably change in the next day or two to whatever I decide to read on my own).
A man takes a rocketship into the sky, and lives on a star that's dying in the night.
Good morning. If you drink beer out of a can, you're wrong. If you drink beer out of a bottle that also could have been purchased in a can, you're wrong.
It's 37° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 27° Fahrenheit with sunshine.
Today's scripture reading is Genesis 41. The Fly is reading How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill (though I'm reading this with someone else, so this entry will probably change in the next day or two to whatever I decide to read on my own).
Today's scripture reading is Genesis 39. The Fly is reading How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill (though I'm reading this with someone else, so this entry will probably change in the next day or two to whatever I decide to read on my own).
Hey folks! I've been pretty quiet this week - I spent so much time last week writing that I decided to take it easy this week. As a result, I've compiled a ton of links. Since I already have a couple hundred links that have queued up over the last year or so, I'm going to try to get these links posted as a news update over the next few days.
One big story that's worth at least acknowledging is the recent news that America's intelligence community now believes that Iran suspended its nuclear program late in 2003. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad is claiming this as a victory, America's liberals are throwing out claims that President Bush has been lying about Iran's nuclear program for the last four years; luckily, my regular readers (silent though they may have been at my third anniversary extravaganza) know that situations such as these are never so simple. They also know that everyone's favorite open source foreign policy analyst, The Fly, will be there with full analysis.
Just a few of the developments:
American intelligence community reports that Iran suspended weapons program in 2003 (CNN, BBC, Times)
Israel disputes American intelligence report (AFP, Guardian)
President Bush, intel chief say Iran remains a threat (AP, CNN)
There remains no doubt in my mind that Irain is a threat to international security and stability. Also, I see no indications from this intelligence report that Iran's intentions have changed, and any claim to the contrary ignores some very important events in the last few years.
I'll write up some more on this, hopefully turning it into a coherent article, over the next couple of days. For now, though, have a great weekend, be safe, and for those of you who check TSTF from work, we'll see you back here on Monday - same Fly time, same Fly URL.
UPDATE: Sorry, I just had to post this.
To quote the intrepid videographer:
"For a whiny communist, you're alright, you're alright, for a Democrat you're alright, I respect, I respect you. But especially after I've seen your wife, damn! I mean, you're a weird lookin' gremlin motherfucker, she is a fine piece of ass. Wow, you've done, you've done well for yourself, Denny, you've done well for yourself."
No suggestions? Not one? None of you wankers took it upon yourselves to post even a single comment about something you've enjoyed from the last three years? Who am I writing this blog for, myself?
Oh, yeah. Alright, carry on.
Anyway, today is the third anniversary of the inaugural post here at Thus Saith the Fly, and in celebration I have decided to present a top-ten list: my top ten favorite posts from the last three years. Do any of you remember these?
TSTF Goes Online - The first post was on 05th December 2004. I have no idea why it's in such a small typeset. Not surprisingly, my first post was acknowledging that I was too busy to post - I think that must have been either dead week or finals week. I was inspired to start blogging by such great sites as Free Will, and such now-pathetic blogs as the one which will remain nameless.
A Semi-Valiant Effort - This was my first long article-like post. This happened to be about the European Union's decision to form "battle groups". I thought it was a bad idea then, and I still do; and in fact, former SecDef Rumsfeld agreed with me.
Eliminating the Mirror - In February of 2005, I mused about the possibility of dumping my girlfriend. I was very cryptic about it. The fallout from this relationship continued to haunt me for a long time, but I finally got closure on it during the late Summer of 2006. In August of 2007, I officially changed her blog alias from "The Mirror" to "The Whore". May she be hit by a double-decker bus - in God's mercy.
A Big Oily Mess - One of my longest posts to date (if not the longest). This post was turned into a two part article for an independent college newspaper. Most of what I had to say remains pertinent and accurate to this day.
Academy Award Stifler - This post was actually inspired by a radio station commercial in which a James Earl Jones impersonator announced an Academy Award for Best Picture for Dude, Where's My Car? - a really funny movie if you give it a chance. In it, I detailed a future in which Seann William Scott receives a lifetime achievement award for his contributions to film comedy.
Jeremy Gets Hired - After recounting an episode from Sports Night, I put myself in Jeremy's shoes and imagined an interview with then-CIA Director Porter Goss.
The Fly Report Debut - Having encountered several severe setbacks with women, and while continuing to seek my first post-college job, I decided in October of 2005 to start a sort of daily status report. The Fly Report has been suspended on a few occasions, such as when I've moved and when I've deployed for work. Originally a daily post, I soon decided to take weekends off; aside from that, the original Fly Report is remarkably similar to the Fly Report I posted just this morning.
The Epic of Bo Pi - In March of 2006, I was compelled to do a creative rewrite of the Song of Solomon - not for the sake of blasphemy, but for the sake of... Well, in the long run, I guess I'm not sure. The point is that it was eight straight days of me professing my love - gee, I wonder how that turned out?
Duck Hunt Goes Global - This was the article that got me a writing gig - pro bono for now, but a good opportunity for the future. This article was about ballistic missile defense, and has since inspired articles about a wide variety of security matters. Outstanding!
Gone/Escape from the Mojave Tour - These were the two posts that preceded my two moves: first from Hometown to California, and then from California to Virginia. Both represented huge changes in my life, and both have represented huge changes to the way that I blog. Here we are, about nineteen months and several thousand miles later - amazing that this blog has lasted so long.
It's been a great ride so far, and I intend to continue well into the future - stay tuned for that. In the mean time, have a great day, and check back tomorrow for more news and miscellaneous chicanery from me, the Fly.
The Fly is a twenty-seven year old curmudgeon. He's a devout Anglican, a dedicated conservative, a renaissance man in combat boots, and an unlikely connoisseur of feminine pulchritude. His writings are a cure for ignorance and boredom in a troubled world.
