Ignorant News Anchors

Okay, I haven't looked at the story, so I won't comment on it yet, but this weekend some high school kid shot up a bunch of family members and acquaintances. This morning one of the news anchors was talking about it, and mentioned that the guy used a twenty-two caliber rifle (.22).

It reminded me of the Beltway "Sniper" incidents, in which the anchors said, and several times, and several different anchors, "high-powered twenty-two rifle". Wrong. The Beltway "Snipers" used a .223, which is a caliber that's pretty much completely unrelated to the twenty-two caliber. It's not like the .223 caliber is a higher powered version of the .22 caliber; but no, that didn't stop these anchors from making asses out of themselves, and regularly.

You see it every now and again, particularly with anything that requires a modest degree of research or specialized knowledge. Save for the "military analysts" that they have on there all the time, pretty much every reporter/anchor butchers military subjects on a regular basis.

Frustrating? You betcha. These folks work for two, three hours a day, tops. The least they can do is some damned research about what's going on, beyond what their ignorant colleagues have written.

Conflicting Sources/Memorial Day

The other day I came across this during the course of my research. Today I came across this. Let it not be said that I don't provide balance when I give links to controversial issues. I give you the dialogue, and let you judge for yourself.

I'm sitting here, working on my Mormonism paper, and watching Apocalypse Now Redux. I thought it might be appropriate for Memorial Day to watch a military movie; I probably should have watched something a bit more coherent, like Black Hawk Down (if my DVD player worked), or Saving Private Ryan. To be honest, Apocalypse Now could have been set in any time or place; it's not about Vietnam, it's about the darkness in the souls of men.

Right then, back to work...

A Conversation with Clergy

This is just too good not to post.

Friar Dave: (and yes, i realize the dangers of studying with a bunch of kanucks)
The Fly: LOL
The Fly: I think it starts with a C.
Friar Dave: quite possibly...i thought i recalled seeing the derogatory slang with a k...but what do i know
The Fly: Probably misspelled. I blame the public schools.
Friar Dave: definitely
Friar Dave: look at me...im looking at PhD programs and i cant even spell ethnic slurs

Beautiful.

Primary Sources

What do you wankers (and I mean it affectionately, calm down Poosh) think? Should I use this as a source on my Mormonism paper?

The Fellowship of Overrated Actors

Okay, so there's basically shite on the telly tonight. I blame the Indy 500. No Simpsons, no King of the Hill, not even family guy. After The Transporter was The Sum of All Fears; we've got it on DVD, so I elected to skip it. The next best thing is Pretty Woman, which I've not seen all the way through before. It features two of the most overrated screen personalities ever: Julia "I look like Akhenaton" Roberts, and Jason "I'm an annoying fatass" Alexander.

It also stars Richard Gere, who's a decent enough actor, but a noted celebrity asshat.

I'm working on the paper. I don't know what I'll get accomplished tonight, but I can stay up pretty much indefinitely.

I'm overcome by how intolerably common Julia Roberts is in this movie. There is nothing special about her, and perhaps that's the part that she's trying to act, but it just comes off as tacky and overdone. How Richard Gere's character, a suave bloke like myself, can take any interest in her is beyond me.

I'm not impressed. This film, like the actors who "starred" in it, is highly overrated.

Super Fly Sunday

What a day.

I arranged yesterday to meet up with a buddy of mine during the hour preceding my time at work. He was one of my apprentices/co-hosts last year on my radio show, and he ("McFly") and the other guy ("LP") and I did some outstanding sketches, most of them ripped directly off from either Saturday Night Live or Monty Python. I'll easily remember those nights as some of the best of my college experiences. At any rate, McFly transferred down to a Christian school in California last year, so I've exchanged a grand total of one E-Mail with him since then. Today we got to hang out for a good hour and a half as he was on his way down to the Bay Area. I got to tell him all about England, and hear about what he'd been up to this year down in Los Angeles. It's lousy to see him headed back down there, maybe for good, but I'm glad that we've reestablished contact.

I had intended to get some work done on the Mormonism paper while I was down at work, but I wound up spending a good four hours playing RuneScape. What do I have to show for my day at work? I advanced about four craft levels, and can now make leather armor and leather chaps. Yeah, I know; not impressive.

What's on for tonight? Well, there was a theater movie in 2002 called The Transporter that's been picked up by FX, so I'm watching that. I'll also be working on the Mormonism paper, or maybe outlining the Agricola paper as a change of pace. Then, tonight, my favorite comedian has a special premiere on Comedy Central: Norm MacDonald has either a special, or a series premiere of Back to Norm. Advert highlights?

"Why pay for the cow, when you can have sex with many cows for free!"

And who could forget...

"Honey, do you even know what a threesome is? A threesome is me and two other guys!"

I'm all over that. I saw Norm live down at [Rival University] at the end of my freshman year of college, so it's ironic that now, two weeks before I graduate, he'd be doing a new special. The whole "full circle" thing, and all that.

How's your weekend been? And what are you doing tomorrow to celebrate Memorial Day?

Big Ben's Failure

Have you heard about this? The clock face of St. Stephen's Tower (better known as "Big Ben") stopped working the other day.

Interestingly enough, the same thing, or about the same thing, happened in a James Bond novel. I think it was Live and Let Die. Maybe there's an issue with international diamond smugglers? Or terrorists? Or a massive conspiracy of some kind?

King Fahd: Status Report

The current status report on the "health" of Saudi King Fahd is that his condition is stable.

As Aaron over at Free Will points out, there are conflicting reports regarding whether or not King Fahd is alive or not. I suppose it could even be one of those "perspective" issues. Maybe "stable" means that he's dead, and he's going to stay dead.

Who knows? I certainly don't. Lee, on the other hand, is convinced that the sky will fall when King Fahd dies. Then again, he usually thinks that the sky is falling...

The Persian Threat

You go read this article. I'l read it later, then comment on it.

Top 250

What do I do when I'm bored? Or when I'm procrastinating? Well, here's something. I went and looked at the Internet Movie Database's Bottom 100 and Top 250 lists, figured out which films I had and hadn't seen. Here's what I came up with, and what I thought.

From the Top 250
2. The Shawshank Redemption (1994) - Excellent
3. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) - Way too long
7. Casablanca (1942) - Excellent
8. Star Wars (1977) - Excellent
9. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) - Excellent
10. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) - Best Star Wars film ever
13. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) - Best Lord of the Rings film ever
17. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) - Excellent
18. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) - Excellent
28. Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le (2001) - Excellent
32. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) - Not top 250 material
33. American Beauty (1999) - Amazing
35. The Matrix (1999) - Amazing, ahead of its time
36. Apocalypse Now (1979) - Excellent
45. Boot, Das (1981) - Excellent
48. Se7en (1995) - Not top 250 material
51. Rashômon (1950) - I'll never get that part of my life back
55. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - Excellent
62. Alien (1979) - Excellent
63. Saving Private Ryan (1998) - Excellent
78. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) - Amazing, still underrated
86. Aliens (1986) - Excellent
91. Braveheart (1995) - Excellent
95. The Incredibles (2004) - Excellent
107. Full Metal Jacket (1987) - Excellent
108. Forrest Gump (1994) - Excellent
113. The Princess Bride (1987) - Overrated
115. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) - Not top 250 material
129. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi - Weakest of the Star Wars films
134. Back to the Future (1985) - Outstanding
135. Ben-Hur (1959) - Amazing
140. The Green Mile (1999) - Good
144. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) - Excellent
146. Platoon (1986) - Overrated
158. Life of Brian (1979) - Excellent
160. Shrek (2001) - Excellent
162. Die Hard (1988) - Outstanding
168. Young Frankenstein (1974) - Excellent
173. Gladiator (2000) - Best film ever
183. Spartacus (1960) - "I love you, Spartacus!"
186. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) - Excellent
193. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) - Excellent
200. Toy Story (1995) - Good
202. Twelve Monkeys (1995) - Excellent
212. The Lion in Winter (1968) - Good
217. The Terminator (1984) - Not top 250 material
222. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) - Outstanding
233. Being John Malkovich (1999) - Good
245. King Kong (1933) - Who hasn't seen King Kong?

From the Bottom 100
35. The Giant Spider Invasion (1975) - Best MST3k ever!
40. Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000) - Highly underrated
45. It's Pat (1994) - Ehhhh
46. 2001: A Space Travesty (2000) - Ehhhh
55. Teen Wolf Too (1987) - Not that bad
71. Problem Child 2 (1991) - Pretty entertaining, really
78. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995) - Yeah, okay, but it was for kids!
79. Street Fighter (1994) - Oh, come on
86. Cop & 1/2 (1993) - Yeah, terrible
95. Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) - Yeah, terrible

You know what to do, fellow bloggers. Make me proud, and post a link in the comments so that I can see your results.

The Fly Becomes the Saint

Remember that Val Kilmer film from a few years back, The Saint? Come on, you remember, it had Elisabeth Shue, and she hid notes in her bra. The whole thing was based on a comic book or an old television series or something.

That's not the point.

What is the point? The point is that in order to become a "saint", Val Kilmer's character (Simon Templar, I think) had to perform three "miracles". I've got two weeks 'til graduation, and that's what I'm going to do: three miracles.

What's the first miracle? You see that gauge near the bottom of the sidebar, the one that says what my status is on overdue papers? Watch those numbers get filled out. And that's just the beginning.

Three miracles, fourteen days. What will they be? Stay tuned...

Nucular Blues

There's been another incident with an old communist reactor.

Permanent Unauthorized Absence

If this story is true, it's one of the most amazing stories I've seen in quite a while.

BBC News

Fox News

The gist of the story? Japanese officials are investigating claims that there are two stragglers from World War II. These are Japanese soldiers who were separated from their unit, and have been living in the Philippines since the war ended.

Go read the articles. Go!

Expanding the Cosmodrome

Russia and Kazakhstan have agreed on a plan to expand the Baikonur space complex.

Czech Tank Bid

There are forty-six companies bidding on a contract to build armored tanks for the Czech Republic.

Tanks are cool.

Need Results First

The head of the United Nations Human Rights Commission is claiming that the agency needs its staff and funding doubled. Seeing as how it's my tax dollars, and the tax dollars of my countrymen, that pay the lion's share of the U.N. budget, I'd sort of like to see some results first, along with some proof that the money won't be funneled into Kojo (or Kofi) Annan's bank account.

I'm not holding my breath.

More Media Bias: BBC

Okay, read the first few paragraphs of this BBC article. Then, read what they pushed down to the last few paragraphs. Then, claim that there's no left wing, anti-American media bias abroad. I'll highlight the really important bits.

Brig Gen Hood said those involved had not violated the rules in place at the time.

The inmate who made the original allegation about the Koran being flushed down the toilet had retracted it, he said.

A Pentagon spokesman characterised the incidents as mainly inadvertent handling of the Muslim holy book.

Translation? Okay, there are a few things to be established first.

The rules for Quran handling, published a year or two ago, are extremely strict. Only Muslim clerics are allowed to handle the books, and even then they have to do it in plain site of the detainees while wearing clean white gloves.

Guards and interrogators are not allowed to handle the Quran, at all.

These regulations, while now long-standing, were not in place when the detention camp was established in 2001.

So basically, as I've said all along, this alleged "abuse" of the Quran is almost certainly a load of bullshit. All of this "improper handling" most likely refers to nothing more than guards touching the Quran, and that's it. No toilets, no bodily fluids, nothing. My guess is that the inmates complained about it when it happened, and the new rules were established.

In the words of Officer Barbrady, "Okay, folks, move along! Nothing to see here!"

Central Asia Update

Remember the stories a month or two ago about the popular uprising in Kyrgyzstan that ousted the president, who allegedly rigged the election? Remember the news over the last few weeks about the riots in Uzbekistan? Well, there's news that involves them both.

Kyrgyzstan has reportedly pledged not to expel Uzbek refugees who fled after a violent crackdown on protesters.

The United Nations said the government had given "assurances", following talks between senior officials on both sides.

It'll be interesting to see how both of these things pan out over the next few months and years. I'll keep you posted.

Twenty Years

I don't know if any of you have been following the story of Schapelle Corby, the Australian accused of smuggling drugs into Bali, Indonesia. She's been found guilty and sentenced to twenty years, which, if I remember correctly, is less than the standard sentence of death for this crime.

By comparison, an Indonesian cleric who was found guilty of inciting the Bali and Jakarta bombings in 2002 and 2003, respectively, got eight years.

Something's sour, if you ask me.

Ratification Time

Germans have ratified the European Union constitution, but it still looks as if the French will reject it.

Set Op Tempo to High

There seem to be a lot of new operations lately in Iraq. It's especially interesting in the midst of these rumors about Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. What do y'all think?

A King's Decline

Saudi King Fahd has been hospitalized. He's eighty-two, and had a major stroke in 1995. If he were to die, it probably wouldn't change very much. Since his stroke, most of the real work has been carried out by Crown Prince Abdullah.

Just be aware.

A Lesson for the Ladies

Just a quick tip. If you don't want naked pictures of you plastered all over the Internet, don't give them to someone you can't trust absolutely.

Semi-Newsworthy

This story isn't really huge news, but it reminded me of my early college years. I was a member of the last Naval ROTC class at my school to go through orientation (read: start the program) prior to 9/11. I hope to either get a commission in the Navy in the next couple of years, or get a position in the intelligence infrastructure. Put simply, I know what these guys felt like when they started, and I know what they feel like now. Maybe it makes me a bit nostalgic to read this, but it also makes me aggressive: I want to go out there and have a hand in defending freedom.

I want a piece of the action.

The Bolton Delay

This is becoming tiresome...

WASHINGTON — The vote on John Bolton (search) to be the next U.S. ambassador to the United Nations has been blocked, with Democrats trying to force the White House to release long-sought classified information about the controversial nominee, or perhaps to pick someone else for the job.

Republicans were not able to muster on Thursday the 60 votes needed to stop debate on Bolton's nomination despite support from two Democratic senators who had been instrumental in recent negotiations over judicial nominees.

Although Democrats claimed the move did not constitute a filibuster, Republicans said it sure looked like one.

Think that the nuclear option's off the table? If those filthy Democrats like Boxer, Reid, Byrd, Kennedy, Kerry, and Pelosi keep this up, the nuclear option will be resurrected, and the charred corpses of their political careers will blow away like dust in the wind.

Absolutely ridiculous. I hope someday I can get elected to a Senate seat and then not vote. Oh well... That's a government job for you.

Editorial Decision-Making

What do y'all think, should I use this transcript as a source on my paper about Mormon historiography?

When Assignments Go Bad

I have a four-hundred word review of that silly play from Saturday, due today. In less than half an hour of writing, I got nearly seven hundred words. Sorted.

Gays in the Military

It's incidents like this one that uphold my belief that gays don't belong in the military.

Two Insults, No Waiting

There's bollocks on the teevee tonight, so I'm "forced" to watch last night's rerun of the Daily Show. They just ran a segment deriding mainstream media outlets, which are apparently going blog crazy, to the point that they're actually reading stuff from people's blogs live on the air, or having bloggers report live via webcam. This is, of course, part of the last, dying gasp of the mainstream media, who just don't understand. What was the insult?

This bonehead was featured on CNN, and then on Comedy Central when the Daily Show did their little segment. He's been blogging since March. March! And they read his lame, brand new blog. I've been blogging three times that long, and if I do say so myself, I'm better at it. Did they read my blog online? Nope!

The other insult? You guessed it. It's friggin' hot out here. For a guy who wears shorts when it's sixty degrees, ninety degree heat is like a punishment from God. I was pretty sure that I hadn't done anything punishable by heat this week.

Dante would have said I was crazy.

Big Ugly Fish

Topping the list of things I want to have nothing to do with is one hundred twenty-four pounds of catfish.

Nerd On The Attack

Before you read this, keep in mind the following:

I'm a nerd, but I'm a repentant one, even if I can't overcome the behavior.

I should really be working on overdue/almost due term papers right now.

These things having been said, I shall now answer the following comment from the lovely Manda.

That actor guy, whose name I can't remember. Animaniacs had a character like him, too, who was an actor and a director. Him and Frink sound exactly alike.

Bascially, Frink isn't an original character. He's a rip off.

Au contraire, my friend. Prepare to be corrected. (Again, I'm so sorry, I can't stop myself.)

Professor Frink's first appearance was in the episode Old Money, which was first broadcast in 1991. According to the Internet Movie Database, Animaniacs didn't hit the airwaves until 1993.

Reading through the IMDB's page about the Animaniacs, it appears that there was a character called Dr. Otto Scratchensniff, who may be your alleged Frink doppelganger. I can't find a mirror to Ranier Wolfcastle/"McBane" or Troy McClure, though Nancy Cartwright (Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Todd Flanders, Ralph Wiggum, Kearney, et cetera) and Tress MacNeille (Jimbo Jones, Agnes Skinner, et cetera) were both regular voices on Animaniacs.

Can you give me any more to work on on that actor/director character? You've got me intrigued on that one.

(Again, I'm so sorry that I did this. I need help.)

Much Pleased Mullahs

It looks like there's been a preliminary agreement reached with the mullahs.

Iranian chief negotiator Hassan Rowhani on Thursday said he was pleased with a European Union offer to come up with new, concrete proposals to solve a dispute over Iran's controversial nuclear programme.

The previous day, Iranian officials and the foreign ministers of Britain, France and Germany managed in a last-ditch meeting in Geneva to avert a collapse of talks.

"We liked the idea" proposed by the EU, Rowhani told reporters shortly before leaving Switzerland for Iran.

The European ministers, representing the 25-nation EU, agreed with Iranian negotiators that they would make new proposals to Tehran in late July or August on cooperation in civilian nuclear power and trade ties.

Iran in turn pledged to maintain a suspension of its uranium enrichment programme agreed in Paris last November, amid fears that Tehran's plans would allow it to develop a nuclear bomb.

Unfortunately, I fear that this only delays the inevitable. Are the Iranians going to agree to any new proposals? It's extremely doubtful. They've already rejected a proposal to have a purely research-capable reactor built for them. I'm afraid this is just a stalling tactic on everyone's part.

Lithuania Revisited

Remember the stories I've posted on before regarding Lithuania's nuclear power stations? Well, how much energy are they going to have if incidents like this become more common?

An incident last week caused one of two generators at Lithuania's Chernobyl-type Ignalina nuclear power plant to shut down last week, but there were no nuclear safety risks to the public, officials said Thursday.

"It was not a painful incident, everything was reset in a few hours," Economy Minister Viktor Uspaskich said in parliament.

Saulius Kutas, head of Lithuania's nuclear safety body VATESI told AFP that the cause of the May 17 shutdown was still being investigated.

"But it did not pose nuclear safety problems," Kutas said.

During the incident, energy was provided by Kruonis power station and from neighbouring Latvia.

Mark my words: European nations are unwise to compromise their sovereignty in exchange for European Union membership.

Just the Files, Ma'am

Here's another one for the "totally cool" file.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The CIA is conducting a secretive war game, dubbed "Silent Horizon," this week to practice defending against an electronic assault on the same scale as the September 11 terrorism attacks.

The three-day exercise, ending Thursday, was meant to test the ability of government and industry to respond to escalating Internet disruptions over many months, according to participants. They spoke on condition of anonymity because the CIA asked them not to disclose details of the sensitive exercise taking place in Charlottesville, Virginia.

Hopefully the CIA won't get wrapped around the pole on "cyberterrorism" like that stooge Richard Clarke did. Yes, online "terrorism" is something to be on the alert for, but I'm far more worried about lunatics with car bombs and suicide vests/belts. Priorities, priorities, priorities.

Conflicted

I have no clue what to think of this story.

The Same Old Game

Thanks for the compromise, Senator McCain. Here I was, all ready to give you at least a modicum of credit for putting off the inevitable. Unfortunately, it appears that it's blown up in your face.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The White House is stiff-arming Democrats over classified information about President Bush's pick to be United Nations ambassador, and the Senate should put off a vote on the embattled nominee until next month, a Democratic opponent argued Thursday.

"We should delay this until we see that information; it's a matter of right and wrong," Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-California, maintained at the start of a second day of Senate debate over John R. Bolton's fitness and qualifications. "It is right for us to get that information, it is wrong for the administration to withhold it."

If there's anyone who doesn't know the difference between right and wrong, it's Barbara Boxer. I've been listening to this bullshit about John Bolton for at least a month now, and I'm sick of it. These delaying tactics are absolute chicanery from Democrats, it's purely partisan politics, and it's a bunch of nonsense.

Earth to Democrats: we need a hardass to send to the United nations, not some candy-assed scrawny weakling girlie-man who will get down on his knees whenever Korrupt Kofi shows up.

Oh dear... I'm starting to sound like Bane...

Super Gun

You've heard of the rail gun, but have you heard of the DREAD gun?

(Link via some guy on Bane's comments.)

Space Pox

Apparently there's a discolored infrared spot on Titan. For those of you too ignorant to know what Titan is, it's the largest moon in orbit of the planet Saturn.

Off to Class

Okay, I really shouldn't have taken the time to make those posts, so now I'm going to get ready for class and head out. More later, folks.

Cleared

Remember that Marine lieutenant who was charged with murder? He's been cleared of the charges against him.

Confirmed Wounded

The Iraqi government is confirming that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is wounded, and an al Qaeda website is reporting that a deputy leader, Abu Hafs al-Gerni, has been appointed as his lieutenant while he recovers.

Let's hope he's found, wherever he goes to recover, and paraded out in front of the entire world.

Chicks With Guns

Go have a look at this article about the role of women in the military.

For what it's worth, I do not support putting women in direct combat situations. More later.

Napoleon Dynamite

Okay, so I've finally watched Napoleon Dynamite. It was cute. Pretty random, but cute. Worth the $4.00 I paid to rent the DVD, but probably wouldn't have been worth the $7.00 to see it in the theater.

Yup.

I Get Paid To Do This

Okay, so I'm at work. What am I doing at work? I went to the video shop and rented Napoleon Dynamite, and I'm watching it. That's right: I'm being paid to sit on my ass and watch Napoleon Dynamite. Some of it has been absolutely hilarious, and most of it makes absolutely no sense.

I may post some news later, once this thing's over.

I Should've Known

Today I arrived at my theater (that's "theatre to all you fruity types out there) class to find that the instructor had brought in [Generic University]'s resident director to lecture on directing. We got a semi-disjointed lecture about all the things that a director does.

Once she was done with that, she wanted to "get us on our feet". We were asked to give her lines of dialogue, which went as follows.

A: "What are you doing?"
B: "Whatever." (Shortened from "Whatever I want, gosh!")
A: "Are you alright?"
B: "Bite me." (I suggested this, it was originally "Bite me, doughboy!")
A: "Just asking."
B: "Sorry."
A: "Heck no."
B: "Let's go camping!"

Once the dialogue was established, she asked for two volunteers, a boy and a girl. Then, she asked for suggestions from the audience with regard to setting and plot. A boy and a girl (the beefy girl from the gymnastics team and her friend) volunteered, and they played a brother and sister in a coffee house; the sister just broke up with her boyfriend, so the director lady directed them accordingly. They ran it three or four times, with changes each time.

The second time, she couldn't get a boy and a girl, so she got two girls, and the class gave them the situation of being co-workers around the water cooler. The director lady said that the one girl was now dating the other girl's ex-boyfriend, so they acted that out three or four times, and she directed them.

Now, by the end of this, everyone got the point, but the director couldn't leave it at that. After asking for volunteers, and not getting anyone, she finally drafted me. I guess that's what I get for sitting in front. Anyway, I stood up there for a good fifteen or twenty seconds before a girl finally volunteered to do the scene with me. She wasn't entirely unattractive, but she had a stud in her nose; big turn-off. Wouldn't you know it, the director lady, in all her wisdom, chose the Fly to turn that cheesy dialogue into a romance scene.

Between that and the heat, it was just one of those days, I tell you what.

Fly's Inferno

It's supposed to be eighty-four friggin' degrees in College City today. Eighty-four degrees. Good grief. I'm going to be drinking iced drinks all day and praying to Almighty God to send me relief.

Just for the sake of prodding, how hot's it going to be where you are?

Quotes About Lenny

Tonight on the Simpsons, they reran the episode with Mel Gibson, and there were a couple of great quotes about everyone's favorite character, Lenny Leonard...

Homer: Mel Gibson is just a guy Marge, no different than me or Lenny.
Marge: Were you or Lenny ever named Sexiest Man Alive?
Homer: Hmmm, I'm not certain about Lenny...

And...

Marge: I liked it. It was nice to see a movie where people solved their problems with words instead of bullets and chasing.
Homer: Oh, you're just saying that because your boyfriend was in it. I'll bet that you would have hated it if me and Lenny was Mr. Smith.

God bless the Simpsons, and God bless Lenny.

Full Metal Classroom

Folks, and gentlemen in particular, I present for your viewing pleasure, Full Metal Classroom.

Da Vinci Code: Lies? Of course!

If you read "The Da Vinci Code", you're a schmuck. Prepare to have your ass handed to you.

E.U.? Non! Nein!

If both the Germans and the French reject the EU Constitution, I'm going to laugh very hard, and then I'm going to have a pint of Guinness and toast the long life of irony.

More HRW Nonsense

Oh, good! More idiocy from Human Rights Watch!

American FBI agents have been accused of "turning a blind eye" to the alleged torture of two US citizens of Pakistani origin by Pakistan's security services.

The international pressure group, Human Rights Watch (HRW) said that the brothers were routinely tortured, and that US agents did nothing to stop it.

HRW said that Zain and Kashan Afzal were interrogated on at least six occasions during an eight-month period.

Neither the US nor the Pakistani governments have reacted to the claims.

Now, there are two issues here. The first is that Human Rights Watch stopped being credible a long time ago.

The second is that it's not the FBI's job to investigate things outside the United States, except in certain well-defined circumstances. If this is anyone's responsibility, it's the State Department's. It would be nice if the BBC could get these things right every once in a while. (Then again, it would also be nice if they got their "news" from sources more reliable than Human Rights Watch.)

On Our Side

It's a good thing the French take this whole nuclear Iran issue seriously. Oh wait, they don't!

French carmaker Renault is to build its Megane saloon model in Iran from 2006.

The firm's joint venture with Iran's Industrial Development and Renovation Organisation and two leading carmakers will make about 15,000 Meganes a year.

The car is the second to be introduced by Renault to Iran following the Logan, a stripped-down version of the Clio Supermini, also due for a 2006 release.

Topping the list of groups that just don't understand: France.

Small Town Antics

Somehow, if I found myself on an island inhabited by only fifty people, I don't think my solution to the tedium would be rape.

Unfriendly Neighbors

I'm not sure how major this issue is, but anything that involves Libya, Algeria, Morocco, and the rest of the Maghreb world deserves scrutiny.

Gimme da Cash!

Apparently there's a new virus that demands payment in order to reclaim files. Let's hope this doesn't get widespread.

Abu Musab al-Ouchie

Apparently Zarqawi may be hurt?

CAIRO, Egypt — Al Qaeda's branch in Iraq, blamed for numerous terror attacks on U.S. and Iraqi targets, said Tuesday in an Internet posting that its leader, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, had been wounded and called on supporters to pray for his recovery.

The posting's authenticity could not be verified, but it was posted on a Web site known for carrying prior statements by Al Qaeda in Iraq and other militant groups.

Asked about the reports al-Zarqawi had been wounded, State Department spokesman Richard Boucher said, "I don't know."

They really do need to catch this guy. Aside from eliminating him as a source of knowledge on carrying out terrorist attacks, he's also a propaganda gem: for them while he's free, and for us if he were captured.

The Fly Strikes Back

The other day, I read this post over at Right Thinking, and was relieved to find that everyone's favorite curmudgeon blogger disagreed with the reports that Revenge of the Sith had anti-Bush undertones. Last night I went to see it, and I was, unfortunately, not surprised to find that I disagreed with Lee on yet another issue. Am I willing to say, outright, that "Lee was wrong" as I have so often lately? I'm not going to go that far today, but I really feel that Lee had a selective interpretation.

I've detected anti-war/anti-Bush sentiments in other films in the past few years. I still believe that Eric Bana's speech to his wife in Troy was a well-disguised dig at the Bush administration. I think that lee related it to what he wanted to relate it to. Based on Lee's remarks, I went in expecting that it would not be an anti-Bush movie, so the comments were especially noticeable to me.

I'll just say that I think it's unfortunate, because a lot of people are going to notice that for the rest of their lives, long after our present crisis has ended.

That having been said, I enjoyed the film overall. I thought the special effects were amazing, I thought the storyline was good, and I enjoyed the way things were tied together. There were a few disappointments, though.

I thought that Anakin's conversion to the Dark Side was a little too quick. I realize that he was worried about Padme, and that the birth was impending, but it was as if his many years of training and indoctrination were just dumped in a matter of minutes. That wasn't very believable.

George Lucas has often been criticized for horrendous transgressions against dialogue, and this was no exception. Even Hayden Christensen, who was widely criticized after Episode II, did wonders with the dialogue they were given, but overall the dialogue could have been much, much, much better. In particular, Darth Vader's dialogue at the end of the film was scarcely tolerable. "Noooooooooo!" Come on, folks.

They offed, or at least appeared to off, Mace Windu. Not cool.

Anyway, these things

The Return of the Fly

Good grief, what a day.

I apologize for the light posting today, folks. I had my final portfolio for Biology to prepare, and since I failed the course last Fall, I want to be extra sure that I do okay this term; otherwise I won't graduate.

Once that, and my Marine class, were done, I had a meeting with the Dark Horse Sandal Man to plan tomorrow's radio show. After that, I had a meeting with the Socratics. Then I spent time with Young Nathan, and convinced him that he should join me and go see Revenge of the Sith. That's where I've been.

I have to be up early tomorrow for the show, but I'll post news and my reaction to Episode III tomorrow.

Monday Morning Comedy

Okay, have any of you actually seen this site? It's worth checking out. If I had any money, I might actually buy the DVD they're trying to sell.

Hilarious!

The Laura Comparison

Folks, check out this story, and observe the picture of the First Lady. Now, compare it to the story from this story.

What's the take-away? It's simple: American leaders make an effort to respect the cultural traditions of others. I can't tell you for sure, but my guess is that Mrs. Bush likely sees the cultural requirement of a head covering in Islamic countries to be oppressive. Does she go and protest it? No. She respects it when she's on someone else's turf, even when those people are screaming and harassing her.

Hear me now and believe me later, Laura Bush has more class in her little finger than Shrillary Clinton has ever had. Laura Bush is a quintessential American lady if ever there was one.

AIDS in Africa

This article about AIDS in Africa is worth reading. People claim all the time that terrorism is directly related to poverty and education. It's examples like this that prove that analysis completely wrong.

Whining About Church and State

What do you know? There are more people whining about alleged violations of the mythical separation of church and state.

Pat Tillman: What do you think?

Apparently the Tillman family is accusing the Army of lying about the circumstances of his death. What do you think?

Surf's Up, Dude

Wow! Look at this story!

A spoof music video by Norwegian peacekeepers in Kosovo, set to the Beach Boys hit "Kokomo", has sparked a diplomatic spat between Norway and Serbia and given ammunition to critics of the NATO-led force in the province.

The three-minute clip filmed on a hand-held digital camera features Norwegian troops dancing in fields and military bases as they sing their own version of the dreamy surf song.

The original tune about Kokomo beach in Florida is transformed into a biting satire on international intervention in places like Kosovo and Rwanda.

But wait, there's more!

"Somalia, Grenada, rescuing Kuwait, we screw ya, Rawanda, wish we could have helped ya, Iraqi embargo ... " they croon, with backing vocals and dance routines performed in combat boots and camouflage gear.

"Down in Kosovo, we'll kick some ass and then we'll see how it goes, and then we really don't know. Good luck to Kosovo.

"Every time we go to little places like Kosovo, we never really know what happens after we go ... It's Europe and NATO, why the hell do we go?"

So can we infer from this that Norwegians love the Beach Boys ot the same degree that Germans love David Hasselhoff?

Those Filthy Swedes

Does anyone honestly think that this will get the kind of coverage all of the American "abuses" have been getting? If you think it will, then I have a lovely bridge you may be interested in purchasing.

What the Doctor Ordered

Just what we needed: United Nations involvement in a dispute over "abuses".

Maybe the U.N. can give us some guidance on how to properly pull off a scandal without having to be accountable to anyone for anything.

More Media Bias

Check out this story, and the lead-in.

BALTIMORE, Maryland (AP) -- A particle accelerator is being used to reveal the long-lost writings of the Greek mathematician Archimedes, work hidden for centuries after a Christian monk wrote over it in the Middle Ages.

Highly focused X-rays produced at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center in Menlo Park, California were used last week to begin deciphering the parts of the 174-page text that have not yet been revealed.

The X-rays cause iron in the hidden ink to glow.

"One of the delightful things is we don't know what it's going to say," said William Noel, head of the Archimedes Palimpsest project at the Walters Art Gallery in Baltimore.

Not a "scribe" or a "clerk". A "Christian monk". The implication? "Christianity has a long history of defacing and marginalizing scientific literature!" This is, of course, nonsense.

Otherwise, this is a pretty cool story. My theory is that Archimedes' text will give us a formula to cure Michael Jackson's homosexual pedophilia, and instructions on how to spot Counterfeit Mini Coopers.

The Obligatory Post

I'm contractually obligated to post any terrible story if it's titled "Children's sleepover turns deadly".

The Fly on Social Security

After the President's State of the Union address a few months ago, I was cordially invited over to the News Snipet Blog for a discussion of Social Security. I've intended to give my take on the issue here at TSTF for a couple of months now, and since I have a bit of time, I may as well do it now.

As most people know, President Bush has proposed an elective partial privatization of Social Security. What that means is that if people wish to do so, they can choose to have a small percentage of their Social Security payments diverted into private investments. If approved, anyone above the age of fifty-five would be completely unaffected, and people below the age of fifty-five who elected to participate would stand to gain more money for their retirement accounts than those who elected to use the old system.

Fact: Social Security is failing. It was engineered as a temporary emergency plan under 1930's economics, and it's now archaic. It will fail unless it's changed; the only question is "when". Even though the Democrats acknowledged it publically under President Clinton, they've gone mum on the subject under President Bush. They claim that Social Security will start going bankrupt later than Bush claims, but they can't deny that it will go bankrupt. Translation? Since it's a Republican administration, the Democrats are going to bury their heads in the sand and claim there's not a problem, thereby leaving it for my generation to worry about.

You'll forgive me if I call this what it is: irresponsible and counterproductive. It's unacceptable that a Democratic "leader" will say with a straight face that they're trying to make a better America for future generations while simultaneously ignoring problems, thereby passing them on, like some legislative hand-me-down.

Leadership? Yeah, right.

My take on Social Security? I'm sick of it. I don't want any part of it. I hate the growing nanny state in America, and I've seen first hand what a joke it is in Europe. Liberals would like us all to think that life is wonderful in countries with "free" socialist health care, government pensions, et cetera. It's all bullshit. Whether they know it or not, Americans are happier and have greater opportunities than any European nation can come close to offering. The nanny state is not the solution, it's a plague. It's a symptom of a people who are so indifferent that they can scarcely be bothered to vote, let alone take charge of their lives. Don't believe me? Ask Poosh or Sarah canuck; they've got even more experience with it than I do.

What's my solution? Well, I don't dislike President Bush's idea. Social Security is not some sacred cow that must be retained in its original form. Even so, I don't want it. So I propose this solution, and simultaneously test to see if anyone else has the balls to join me.

I say that we, "Generation X", whatever you want to call us, pay for our parents. My parents are both forty-seven, they've been paying into Social Security all their lives, and they deserve to get something out of it. I'm not yet twenty-three. I've been paying in for less than a decade. I'd be willing to pay into Social Security until I retire, and not claim a single dime out of it, even when I'm eligible. Unlike Ted Kennedy, or Diane Feinstein, or Barbara Boxer, or Harry Reid, I care more about my children than I do about myself or my politics.

So, how 'bout it America? Are you willing to take a risk on retirement in order to give your children a better future, with lower taxes and more motivation to succeed as the dividend?

Filling In the Gaps

Remember my Theater instructor? The one who doesn't know jack about Greek or Roman history, but sees fit to lecture on it anyway? A few weeks ago she was talking about something or other, and got around to the subject of some cartoon or television program or something called Punch and Judy. She said that she wasn't raised here, so she hadn't seen it, but gave it as an example. At the end of class I asked where she was raised, and she said "Oh, all around the world. Many different countries."

Friday she was lecturing about some modern playwrights, most of whom probably couldn't get a job at McDonalds if they didn't have a bunch of hippies telling them that they're brilliant and paying to see their "work", and she mentioned some guy "from Quebec, where I'm from."

So she's from Quebec... It all makes sense now. The outlandish fashion sense, the poorly concealed elitism, the haughty pronunciation of French-esque words, the stuffy air without the accompanying foreign accent... It was either Quebec, or she was part Welsh.

Referred

I was looking at the copious amount of referrals. Usually they're just composed of my regular readers, and/or places where I post regularly. Then, when I do a major news update, I'll have a ton of referrals, and then they'll disappear until I do another. Here are a few of today's highlights.

Instead of a handful of referrals from Google, my Google referrals went up by eight hundred in a matter of just a couple of days. Has someone been Google-bombing me?

Blogger referrals are where most of my one-time traffic comes from. One of the most peculiar from today is Sensual Arousal, where a twenty-something girl from the East Coast discusses her explorations of her "bi/curious" lifestyle. Mostly it's lesbian porn. Bane, Lycan, happy clicking.

There were a couple of referrals from websites that, in one way or another, are about the Preakness horse race. Two in one day? Odd.

I'll see what else I can come up with to post in the next couple of hours.

Out Like a Light

Okay, folks, that should keep you busy for a few hours. I have to go to class, and before that, I have to get food, and I have to change into my British utilities. I'll post something from work tonight. If you have to err on the side of reading one post or another, read the two earliest ones for today.

European No-Nion

It's a quagmire!

The Dutch public appears on course to firmly reject the European constitution in a referendum on 1 June, according to latest opinion polls.

A poll for RTL television indicated 54% would vote No, with 27% voting Yes.

The Dutch vote is purely consultative, but politicians have said they will take the result into consideration when it comes to a parliamentary vote.

The referendum comes only three days after one in France, where the No campaign has a slight lead.

A poll by Centerdata, also published on Thursday, showed 50.9% against the constitution and 28.6% for it.

I find it delightful that I can point out the fact that the Europeans can't put together a united democracy of their own, but we've been able to do it in Iraq and Afghanistan.

European Moral Authority

Well, it's a good thing we have the French to tell us what is and isn't morally acceptable.

A Humbler Tone

Some hippies calling themselves the "Council of Foreign Relations" has released a report claiming that the United States could win over the Muslim world if it "listened more, adopted a humbler tone and emphasised its aid programmes".

Here's a report for anyone who can hear it: the Muslim world can win over the rest of the world if it listened more, adopted a humbler tone, stopped cutting innocent people's heads off, stopped sending suicide bombers onto Israeli schoolbuses, stopped launching missiles into Israeli territory, stopped blowing up or trying to blow up Western landmarks and citizens, stopped oppressing women, allowed people to have a say in their own destinies, stopped rioting every time there were allegations of "intolerance" or "desecration" or, the most nebulous charge, "abuse"...

I could go on, but I think you get my point. When the Muslim world starts contributing anything to the rest of the world, then I'll start paying attention to what they have to say.

When a Turk tells me he dislikes America, I'll listen and take his comments under advisement. Aside from the standing rivalry between the Turks and the Kurds, who have the Turks attacked in the last twenty-five years? In the last fifty? In the last seventy-five?

I take the advice of people who can prove their devotion to peace, freedom, and understanding. I ignore the advice of people who sponsor, condone, or turn a blind eye to murderous terrorist vermin.

Cojones

Finally, somebody on this planet is telling Chairman Fidel to go to hell where he belongs.

Even so, folks, you must remember: the war against terrorism and oppression is all about the oil. It's not about inspiring oppressed people who live under terrorism scumbags to overthrow their tyrannical oppressors. Not at all.

Call Them Crazy

If the Israeli/"Palestinian" truce falls apart, who do you think will be the cause? You guessed it: the "Palestinians".

Shocking Images

What's the most disgusting thing you've ever seen? Photos of Saddam Hussein in his underpants.

Pencil Making Mullahs

What's the latest news out of Persia? The mullahs are smuggling graphite, which can be used to make nuclear weapons.

But remember, they only want the uranium enrichment program for "peaceful research".

Copious Exchange of Fluids

Remember the attractive blonde in my biology lab group? And remember my other lab partner, the sorority girl who had the shower party? You folks will like this one, especially... Well, there's no point in naming four people. Anyway, read on.

The subject of this week's biology lectures, lab, and recitation was diseases and their transmission. In the lab and recitation section, there are four of us who always sit together, and two alternates. We'll call the blonde Nefertiti, the sorority/shower/pie girl Daisy, the other guy in the lab group Miles, and the two alternates Drusilla and Portia, good Roman names.

On Wednesday in lab, Miles pointed out to me that the second half of our recitation activity on Friday (today) was titled "The Promiscuous Model", for reasons that will be revealed shortly. As he was scheduled to be absent due to a rock climbing excursion, he informed me that it was my responsibility to make as many jokes about this as was humanly possible. Since that's what I usually do anyway, I easily agreed.

Today was said recitation, and we did two activities, both of which involved exchanging fluids. I was, of course, excited at the possibilities, but the experiments consisted of each student being issued a vial and an eyedropper. Each vial had a bit of fluid in it. We were instructed to exchange half of our fluid with another person in the room, and to do this three times for the first exercise. You can imagine the jokes that came from this.

Fly: "Hey, Nefertiti, can I exchange fluids with you?"
Nefertiti: "Hmmm, I dunno. Exchanging fluids with me is very special, it's not just for anyone."
Fly: "I know, that's why I want you to be my first time."
Daisy: "But Fly, I thought we had something special."
Fly: "Of course we do, that's why I want to exchange with you once Nefertiti has shown me how it's done."

This was, by far, one of the most entertaining activities I've done while I've been at college. The end results were that during the first exercise, I was the only one at my table to contract the "disease". During the second exercise, all of us contracted it. This resulted in far more jokes, as you can well imagine.

And the peasants rejoiced.

Blogs as a Self-Perpetuating Phenomenon

What happens when one of your fellow bloggers posts about you? You link to it for all to see, and then you quote it:

2) Bring your mate along. Make sure the only thing you're buying is the Box. Make sure he/she is standing right next to you during the transaction. Keep the Box out in plain sight the whole time. Hold the Box in one hand, your mate's hand in the other. FLY: We're not in jolly ol' England on this one, buddy. "Mate" is not your buddy, I'm talkin' the National Geographic variety.

Outstanding work as usual from Lycan. The money shot?

It's not a condescending smile as if this was my first Box since the Bush reelection.

Seeing as how I've never even had proper occasion to buy a box of such implements, let alone since last November's election, I'm not quite sure how I should take this. On the other hand, it's not hard for people to determine that Lycan and I travel using very different moral compasses, so it's likely not even an issue. It just made me laugh.

Super Fly Slogan

I'm thinking I might change my tagline, or start using a slogan followed by a tagline. Any suggestions? Here are a few I've been tossing around in my head.

Thus Saith the Fly: It's a Quagmire!

Thus Saith the Fly: He's on a mission from God.

Thus Saith the Fly: He's the American Cato.

Thus Saith the Fly: Compared to him, you're all wankers.

Thus Saith the Fly: Come for the foreign policy, stay for the nerd discussions.

Lemme have 'em.

Foot In Mouth Disease

Once again, Lee is wrong. I'll give you the highlights.

Un-fucking-believable. I can, on some level, understand their stance on gay marriage or abortion or women priests or any of the other issues facing the Catholic Church. But what possible reason could there be for insisting on the ingredients making up the host? Can anyone out there honestly say that Jesus Himself would care one whit what the host was made from? I mean, they’re not actually eating Jesus’ body, it’s a symbolic gesture. So this poor girl, who in this day and age is still devoutly religious, goes to seek communion, and has it invalidated? Is there anyone out there who can explain the logic in this? Because I can’t even begin to imagine.

To which a reader immediately replied:

Catholics believe in transubstiation- the wafer actually BECOMES the body of Christ, it is not a symbolic gesture. This is one of things that Martin Luther disagreed with in his 95 Thesis, leading to a split in the church.

To which Lee replied:

Wow, I didn’t know that. And the Church wonders why it’s having trouble filling the pews.

Whether you like the Roman Catholic Church or not, there's no denying that Lee went off half-cocked, and was, once again, incorrect, due to a defficiency of details. Are you surprised? Neither am I.

Gone

('Cause what you leave behind, you don't miss anyway... )

I'm printing a couple of things, then I'm off to interview the LDS guy for my paper. More tonight.

The Pot and the Kettle

Okay, when you read this article, do you think what I think? If you think "Why the hell are Sudanese peacekeepers being deployed to Somalia? Shouldn't they be trying to keep the peace in Sudan?" then you are, indeed, thinking what I'm thinking.

Don't Tell Zarqawi

Oh dear, this can't be good for the Islamofascist propaganda movement.

The former foreign minister in Afghanistan's Taleban regime has said he wants to stand for parliament in September's national elections.

Wakil Ahmad Mutawakil told the election commission he wanted to run in Kandahar for a seat in the national lower house.

Mr Mutawakil's candidacy must be vetted but the government says it wants to rehabilitate certain Taleban figures.

Don't listen to me, trust liberals: these people don't want democracy!

Shove It?

What do y'all think? Are the French going to tell the European Union to take a hike?

Anakin Skywalker: Good or Bad?

So, I'm starting to think that everyone is obsessed with Star Wars.

You know... For kids!

Six Flags is now reserving the right to deny admission to registered sex offenders. I think that's a much better display of family values than Disney's pandering to the homosexual community. What do you think?

And once again, does anyone recognize the title?

Super Fraud

Well, it's official. Mahatma Gandhi: Indian. Ward Churchill: not an Indian.

By the way, does anyone recognize the title?

More Quran Desecration

Oh, good glaven, what next?

LOS ANGELES — A Muslim woman who said she ordered a Koran through Amazon.com only to find profanity and religious slurs written inside asked Wednesday for an apology and a full investigation by the online retailer.

Azza Basarudin, 30, said she received the Koran by mail on May 5 after ordering it through a used books division of Amazon.com that allows customers to order directly from third-party sellers approved by the company.

When she opened the Koran, Basarudin said she found profanity and the phrase "Death to all Muslims" written in thick black marker on the otherwise-blank first page.

"I dropped the book because I didn't know what to do," she said at a news conference at the Islamic Center of Southern California.

This is, of course, an unfortunate incident, but for this woman and the Muslim Public Affairs Council to demand an apology from Amazon.com is pretty ridiculous. She bought the Quran used, and Amazon.com obviously had zero contact with the actual book. If anyone should be sacked, it should be the idiot at Bellwether Books, who was stupid enough to buy back a copy of the Quran that had "Death to all Muslims" written in it. Does anyone honestly think that the people at the booksellers wrote it in there? of course not; you're not only inviting trouble, but you're drastically reducing your ability to sell the book, in addition to reducing its resale value.

What I really want to know, though, is what kind of good and faithful Muslim buys a used copy of the Quran?

Big Trouble in Little Korasuv

Remember how I was going to cancel my Uzbek holiday? Here's an update.

KORASUV, Uzbekistan — Government troops on Thursday retook an eastern Uzbek town from rebels who said they would build an Islamic state, arresting the group's leaders, amid a growing international outcry over security forces' actions against unarmed demonstrators last week.

The United States — which counts Uzbekistan's authoritarian President Islam Karimov as an ally in its war against terrorism — strengthened its condemnation of last week's violence in the eastern city of Andijan (search).

The government denies its troops fired on unarmed civilians, despite witness accounts to the contrary. Opposition groups say hundreds were killed.

To be honest, I'm skeptical of both sides. It's kind of a case of the fox guarding the chicken coop. At the same time, "opposition groups" and "witnesses" will often overinflate the actions of law enforcement groups. Don't believe me? Just look at the coverage of the Kent State "Massacre" in 1970. Now people call it a "massacre" because National Guard personnel opened fire on "demonstrators". Few people are willing to point out that those "demonstrators" were rioting and wreaking havoc for six days before the National Guard stepped in and restored order to Kent State.

I'm certainly not willing to give the Uzbek government an automatic pass on this one, but if you look back through history, you'll find that casualty figures are often overinflated ("There are a hundred thousand civilians dead in Iraq!"), and governments must often take drastic measures in order to restore order.

We'll see how this all falls. I'll keep an eye on this story as it continues to develop.

Ultimatums Against Mullahs

What a surprise. The only people who are willing to stand up to the mullahs are Americans.

WASHINGTON — A senior State Department official ruled out on Thursday the possibility of providing Iran with fresh economic incentives as a means of curbing its nuclear ambitions.

"There is no reason to believe that extra incentives offered by the United States at this point would make a real difference," Undersecretary of State Nicholas Burns said.

Burns, testifying before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, said the normal or near normal diplomatic and trade relations that European allies have maintained with Iran over the years have had little impact on Tehran's nuclear policies.

Burns said "it does not stand to reason" that a U.S. "opening of the trade gates" would encourage Iran to give up its nuclear weapons aspirations.

Exhibit A? North Korea. Exhibit B? You guessed it: Frank Stallone.

State of the Fly

Here's the story. I've got math homework that has to be done by 09:00, and once that (and today's two classes) are done, I'll be doing some work on that Mormonism paper in preparation for an interview with the director of the LDS Institute of Religion, which sits right across the street from campus. Beyond that, my plans for the day aren't precisely clear. My hope is to have half an hour somewhere in there where I can do a quick check of the news and post what's important.

For some reason, I'm extremely tired this morning. I slept in about an hour this morning (because I could, finally), and I'm having a hard time motivating myself to get out of my chair and get ready. Alas, I've reached the point of no return, when I have to get ready in order to get that homework done on time.

It's been raining consistently since late yesterday morning, and between class and my car yesterday afternoon I was caught by a torrential downpour. It very rarely hits that hard, even here in the Pacific Northwest, but even so, I'm going out prepared: Carhartt jeans, Carhartt jacket, Gore-Tex combat boots with wool socks, wool watch cap... You get the picture. Fool me once, rain, shame on you. Fool me... You can't get fooled again.

All the Pain College can Buy

Today I had one of the most painful experiences of my college career. My lab partner, a short blonde sorority girl, informed me that she and her sorority sisters were going to have a shower party, and I knew that I A) wasn't invited and B) had class.

Painful, my friends. Painful. Ehhhh, well. C'est la vie.

Lunch, Class

Right then, I'm off to lunch, then class. Please note the updated page count to the lower left.

Answering the Critics Part 3

The last comment that I'll address comes from "Paul Mc", who also declined to leave any contact information. He writes:

I don't like the guy but let's face it, George whipped their asses. You Yanks now have too much respect for politicians. The Senate are not God.... your media are cowed by politicians. On my evidence on my travels to your beautiful country (no sarcasm in it, I love the US). But your 'news' is a joke... Mostly along the lines of "Headlines: a house fell down in Idaho. Other items: 250000 died in a tsunami in a Muslim country".

Try researching the background before you blog. George has already won libel case against various news organisations because of dubious written material unearthed in Baghdad just after the regime change.

More 50% of money made by companies getting round UN sanctions was made by US companies.

George... Galloway? If you can "whip someone's ass" by ranting and raving, while completely failing to address the actual claims or evidence against you, I wish someone would teach me the technique; it would be terribly useful at dinner parties.

How is the American media cowed by politicians? Dan Rather made a complete ass of himself by rushing to report an unsubstantiated story that was easily proven false within hours of its airing. Newsweek is being lambasted in every major press agency in the world for completely failing to confirm a report that was essentially rushed to print in an effort to discredit the Bush administration. These are examples of the market, and the international community, holding the media accountable for their screw-ups. One of the great failings of many of the international news agencies is that they completely fail to both A) objectively report any issue and B) completely fail to commit. The BBC will report any innuendo that serves to forward their own agenda, and use words like "alleged" or "rumored". Explain to me how that's responsible journalism?

I'll agree with you that American media outlets tend to report primarily American news. I'm not terribly happy about it, and that's why I seek news from multiple sources. A look at my news links on the right side of the page will reveal that I seek my news from four major sources, two of them international ones. Every day I do my best to see what's going on in every corner of the world. You also have to keep in mind that reporting an event that happened in Idaho, followed by an event that happened in Florida, is about like reporting an event that happened in Scotland and following it with an event that happened in Sicily. The States represent a major geographical portion of the world, and although we're all united under a federal government, that doesn't change the fact that American news outlets report news from a wide swath of the earth, even when they're only reporting internal news.

It's also worth noting that the news agencies, all of which exist in this country for the sole purpose of making money, report what people want to see. That's what competition and capitalism bring you. It doesn't always get us what we want; I've already said that I wish American outlets gave a better effort at reporting world news. The BBC can report whatever they want, because they're entirely funded by the government through licensing fees on television sets and radios. A person in the United Kingdom can go their entire life without watching or listening to the BBC, and as long as they pay their taxes and licensing fees (which are required by law), they're still paying for the BBC. How is this reflected? It's reflected in the fact that the ratings of the BBC are continually declining. How do I know this? I happen to have a friend who's a managing editor for a BBC division in Scotland. If BBC News reported only what the average Britons wanted to see, they wouldn't be losing market share. Hate the American media all you want, but they happen to be self-sufficient. That is, of course, excepting NPR and PBS and such, which are largely ignored by the majority of the population.

As for the attempted cheap shot at American coverage with respect to the tsunami, you're absolutely, positively, entirely wrong. American news outlets covered the tsunami for weeks, and it was top news for at least most of that time. I still see a story about the fallout from the tsunami every couple of days. Just this week I saw a report on Fox News Live about how Aceh Province in Indonesia is still waiting to start rebuilding due to disagreements between the government, the various rebel groups, and various municipal agencies regarding how the funding will be distributed.

Summing up the media aspect, you make a couple of good points, and I agree with a couple of your statements in theory, but on the whole I think you would do well to reconsider your position.

With respect to the libel case that Mr. Galloway has apparently already won, I'd love it if you'd give me a link. You'll also excuse my skepticism at a member of parliament winning a lawsuit. I also don't know what the news agencies said. All of this is, of course, moot: winning a lawsuit does not demonstrate innocence, it merely means that enough evidence was presented to demonstrate to a magistrate (or a jury, if we're lucky, but the British legal system is a tad archaic) that there was impropriety on the part of journalists.

I'd also love to see a link regarding this claim that more than fifty percent of the corruption in Iraq (or elsewhere?) came from American companies. I would also answer that claim by noting that there have been several American companies indicted in the Oil-For-Food scandal, and these companies are being appropriately prosecuted. If you think that the Senate is going after George Galloway while letting American offenders get off scott free, you're very much mistaken.

And, for what it's worth, you're right, some Americans give politicians far too much credit. I'm not one of them, and neither are most of the people I associate with. Most of the Americans I know would tend to consider government to be a necessary evil. I've met my Congressional representative twice, and suffered through two campaigns as one of his constituents. I thought he was a jackass both times, and if I saw him being abducted by aliens, I'd likely point and laugh, and try to get it on film.

For what it's worth, I do hope that you can provide some references to back up the claims you've made. I've got my opinions, but I pride myself on being open-minded and reasonable, and you seem reasonable, if a bit disgruntled.

Answering the Critics Part 2

The second comment comes from "there's 'ignorant'", who I'm guessing is the aforementioned "Dave Edwards". Whoever it is, he writes:

Tracking "corruption" in the Middle East is redundant. The most democratic country in the region is Iran. "Look, somebody we don't like did something 'illegal'!" If a hundred thousand dead brown people don't bother you, you'll have to forgive us if some British guy's alleged sketchy business deal doesn't bother us.

How democratic is a nation in which the final say of the parliament is trumped by the mullah-ocracy? In the United States, or the United Kingdom, or even France and Germany, leaders are elected by the people, or appointed by the elected officials. In Iran, the mullahs appoint the mullahs, not the people, and that body of mullahs, and specifically the Supreme Leader (formerly Ayatollah Khomeini, currently Ayatollah Ali Hoseini-Khamenei) have final say in all aspects of Iranian life. When a person who runs a newspaper can be jailed at the will of the theocratic thugs, calling Iran the most democratic nation in the region is akin to calling a Coca Cola bottle full of dynamite the most stable object in a room full of atomic bombs.

A hundred thousand "brown people" do bother me. If you're citing the erroneous claim that over a hundred thousand Iraqi citizens have died since the invasion, then you should check your facts. I would also point out that it was hundreds of thousands every year under the Hussein regime, some of them for no better reason than Saddam needed to make examples of people in order to keep entire villages in fear.

Galloway's actions are more than a "sketchy business deal", and the fact that you can't recognize that leads me to seriously question your credibility and your critical thinking skills. The War on Terror is not a war against "people we don't like", it's a war against people who want to destroy every semblance of freedom in the world. It's not a war of imperialism, it's a war of self defense.

Answering the Critics Part 1

For those of you who hadn't seen, I've had a number of dissenting comments in the last couple of days. I obviously can't make a habit of doing this, but I'm going to answer some of the comments people have left, all in the interest of fair and reasonable discourse. Lee, if you're reading this, take notes.

The first comments come from "Dave Edwards", who declined to leave an E-Mail address or homepage.

I guess George is working to the old principle that it's the accuser's job to provde the evidence and prove guilt, rather than the accused job to prove innocence.

If the american legislature works on the basis of guilty until proven innocent, it sure as hell shouldn't be trying to shove applie pie down the throats of every country in the world.

And while we're at it - leave everyone else's oil alone. You don't understand abroad unless you're bombing it or robbing it, so stay home.

In case you hadn't noticed, "Dave", the Senate panel did provide evidence in these cases. The right honorable gentleman, Mr. Galloway, came to Washington to answer the charges, and he did so, defiantly and triumphantly... Without countering any of the numerous bits and pieces of evidence against him. He claimed that the entire thing was a smear job from President Bush and his Republican cronies. A woman named Hillary Clinton did the same thing a few years ago, accusing the "vast right wing conspiracy" of trying to frame her husband. It was rather defiant, just like Mr. Galloway's testimony, but it didn't counteract the mountains of evidence that proved President Bill Clinton, her husband, of adultery, perjury, and conspiracy to commit perjury. If Mr. Galloway wants to be defiant, that's fine. I invite him to defiantly answer the charges with hard evidence demonstrating that the Senate's evidence is incorrect.

Also, the international community doesn't work like a regular court. Saddam Hussein was required to disarm unconditionally, and to demonstrate that he had done so. He didn't do that. He was given ample chances, and the international community, namely the United Nations Security Council, passed fourteen resolutions against his government for failure to cooperate before the Coalition of the Willing finally said "Enough" and did the U.N.'s job for it. Hussein had the opportunity to comply and save himself, and the world, and his people, a costly and bloody invasion, and he failed for twelve years. So you're wrong there, too.

As for the snide little comment about oil, you've only demonstrated that you're ignorant about Gulf War II. Aside from oil, aside from weapons of mass destruction, aside from Saddam Hussein being pretty much completely evil, he was also a strong supporter of international terrorism. Every "Palestinian" suicide bomber, prior to the liberation of Iraq, insured twenty-five thousand dollars for his family upon pulling the cord on his bomb belt or vest. Saddam Hussein and his government were given a list of demands, by the international community, to comply with in order to prevent the invasion, and he completely failed. So you're wrong there, too.

I'd give you a few links, but I've already posted links to a great deal of what I've just said, and your little "leave everyone else's oil alone and stay home" comment demonstrates fairly conclusively to me that you don't research what you say anyway, so it's pointless, isn't it?

Lindsay Lohan: Jumped the Shark?

Okay, have a look at this article and picture. I know that long time lurker, recent commentator Michelle wouldn't shed a single tear if Lindsay Lohan were shot into space a la Tom Arnold.

I used to really dig Lindsay Lohan. She had a nice figure, and seemed at least moderately respectable. At this point, I'm ready to take Lohan off of the list of young celebrity females who should make every effort possible to land me as a trophy husband. Unless her image is wiped clean, and she puts about twenty pounds back on, she's done. In her place? You guessed it: either of the First Twins.

Welcome to America

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the spirit of America in action.

Try finding that in Canada.

The Cheese Factor

Did you think that the original Star Trek couldn't get any cheesier? You were wrong.

The Established Revolutionary

Doesn't Fidel Castro know that we're tired of him? Michael Jackson's on trial! We're killing people and tracking down the new Nazis over in the Middle East! Castro is so 1962!

European Sophistication

Here's yet another case of how much more sophisticated our European overlords are than us poor American trash.

PARIS, France (AP) -- A Norwegian man was killed after jumping from the Eiffel Tower when a parachute he was wearing got stuck on an upper deck of the monument, officials said Tuesday.

Preliminary investigations indicated that the man planned to film his jump as part of publicity for a Norwegian clothing brand, police said.

The man, 31, entered the tower on Monday evening with a hidden parachute and a helmet that had a small video camera attached to it, said the official at Paris' police headquarters.

Cute.

One Thin Dime, One Fat Brit

British MP George Galloway has confronted the Senate about their accusations that he took bribes from Saddam Hussein.

Apparently the right honorable gentleman from London, or Scotland, or wherever the hell he represents, doesn't understand that in the American legislature, you actually have to defend yourself with evidence, instead of yelling and screaming. After all, we bloody Yanks aren't savages like the French.

"In Good Faith"

Newsweek is claiming that their sloppy journalism was carried out with the best of intentions.

WASHINGTON — One day after retracting a story that said U.S. interrogators desecrated the Koran, a top Newsweek editor acknowledged the magazine made "serious mistakes" but suggested to FOX News that no one would be fired over the incident.

"Clearly there were mistakes here," Dan Klaidman, Newsweek's Washington bureau chief, told FOX News on Tuesday. "It was in good faith, they were honest mistakes, and we are trying to be transparent about it."

Asked if anyone would be fired, Klaidman didn't answer directly but said he believed people at the magazine "acted professionally." Klaidman also offered praise for reporter Michael Isikoff, who he said has gotten past delicate and explosive stories "entirely right."

Newsweek says that the mistakes were made "in good faith". I say that the mistakes were proof of further sloppy attempts to break lies and unsubstantiated gossip in an obvious effort to incriminate and defame the Bush Administration.

What's the difference between what Newsweek says, and what the Fly says? One of them's true, and the other was written by Newsweek.

Get a Better Agent

If you think that Capitalism is working you too hard, try Communism.

BEIJING (AP) - China expects Houston Rockets star Yao Ming to play for the national team in the Asian Championships in September, even though the All-Star planned to spend the summer resting.

"As a member of the China national team, Yao Ming must come back to play for China, according to the contract," said Li Jinsheng, a spokesman for the China Basketball Association.

All other team members are in Beijing preparing for the Asian Championships in Qatar on Sept. 8-16, Li said.

"Yao Ming is expected to come to China soon and he will join the team for training in June after a short period of rest," Li said.

Bummer for Yao. Also... Who holds a basketball championship in Qatar? Honestly.

More Irresponsible Reporting

Okay, so I was looking through this guy's list, and there are a couple of issues I'd like to take with it. I think that both of these issues are with this...

9. The Pod Race
Episode: 'I -- The Phantom Menace'

Why: This is arguably the most effective scene in "The Phantom Menace," and it is also one of the few with genuine tension. Showing off the technical jump in CGI special effects, the pod race stands as a beautifully rendered showcase for young Anakin's skills as a pilot and machinist. Half video game simulation and half plot point, Anakin's triumph against the shifty Dug Sebulba frees him from junk shop proprietor Watt's enslavement. It also allows him to leave Tatooine with Qui-Gon and Padmé to begin his journey as a Jedi.

Cheese Factor: Where to begin! From Anakin's silly alien racers to the two-headed American sports style announcing team, this scene is full of moments where someone should have told Lucas, "George, stop the insanity!"

Memorable Line: Besides Anakin's friends cheering and some bad dialogue by the race announcers, none... which also helps this scene.

My first issue is with the sloppy story checking. What do I mean?

Half video game simulation and half plot point, Anakin's triumph against the shifty Dug Sebulba frees him from junk shop proprietor Watt's enslavement.

It doesn't take that much checking to figure out that the character's name is "Watto. Is it a big deal? Probably not. Unfortunately, though, it just underscores the tendency in the media to ignore the details and present whatever's sensational. This Gregory Ellwood gomer should know that if he's going to post something about Star Wars, Star Trek, et cetera, he must get the details right or else nerds like me are going to play the "dumbass" card.

The second issue I have with this list? Well, how about the fact that the pod race is on it in the first place? The Tattooine pod race was the biggest travesty ever, and one of Lucas' most grievous sins against film. It didn't accomplish much of anything, save giving Lucas a chance to show off some of his nifty film tricks. I understand that it works into the plot of Episode I. Read my lips: if George Lucas had any real writing talent, he would have come up with something a lot better than the pod race. The fact that this Ellwood guy doesn't understand that proves that he shouldn't be writing the column in the first place.

This is as bad as the time a local newscaster was talking about "Luke and Hans". If you don't know what you're talking about, don't try to act like you know what you're talking about.

A Proud Heritage

Okay, so Aaron over at Free Will is fond of saying that he's made in America with Scottish parts. I figured, "Why not show Aaron up?" Actually, I just thought everyone would get a kick out of seeing a picture of me in my kilt.

I bought this thing a couple of summers ago, up in the outskirts of Metropolis at one of those Scottish festivals that they'll have in any given large city. I know it's not a fancy Tartan kilt, like the Clan Cleland one that I'll someday get my hands on, but it's affordable. It's made by a company called Utilikilts up in the hippy conclave of Seattle.

This picture was taken, I think, in 2003, a month or two after I bought the thing. The kilt pin is a Clan Crawford pin, though I'm pretty sure my closer relation is to the Clelands. When I was in Edinburgh last year, I bought a cheap sporran. I should probably get the proper shoes and hose to go with it, but I'm basically broke right now, so I'll settle for baby steps... Besides, contrary to the comments of Fighting Fyffe, it looks pretty outstanding with the black combat boots.

Interestingly enough, when I was looking up sporrans, I came across this page about a guy who bought an antique sporran that was used by a Royal Canadian Highlanders clerk in World War I. Kilt fan or not, it's worth checking out.

Trek Twilight

I posted a few days ago regarding the last episode of Star Trek: Enterprise. There's a pretty good article over at Tech Central Station, and the author links to a curmudgeonly piece by obviously-bitter Orson Scott Card.

My question for you, folks, is this: how long do you think they'll actually go before Star Trek is resurrected? If I were Paramount/Viacom/whatever the hell they are this week, I'd sack Rick Berman and Michael Pillar and bring in some decent writers. It's no secret that Star Trek is worth (m/b)illions of dollars, whatever the incarnation. One needs to go no further than this webpage to understand how obsessive the fan base is.

Since my predictions have been so good in the last couple of weeks, I'm going to issue, boldly, a prediction. I predict that Star Trek will return to television within three years; further, I wonder if they didn't eliminate Star Trek: Enterprise with some sort of contingency plan already in mind.

Y'all are science fiction enthusiasts. What do you think? Post it up.

The Stews

I'm not sure what to think of this. Read it and give me your thoughts.

Hard Wired

Well, it's good to know that our strongest allies in the War on Terror are totally secure.

Britain's defence ministry was investigating Tuesday how a spoof video of a comedy pop song by soldiers in Iraq temporarily crashed its computer system last week after too many staff downloaded the clip over the Internet, a spokesman said.

A group of soldiers took time out from their work in the battle-torn country to film a joke version of "(Is This The Way To) Amarillo", featuring comedian Peter Kay, itself a charity remake of the 1970s hit by Tony Christie.

The film, featuring a Kay look-alike Sergeant Roger Parr and a series of side kicks, was emailed back to army friends at home and proved so funny it spread like wildfire around the defence ministry.

Don't fret, though. They've got free health care.

Passing the Buck?

I noted earlier today that everyone seems eager to lambast Newsweek over their story retraction. Although I don't think anyone in the mainstream news media will carry this story as extensively as they reported the original story, I'm was at least pleased that these media outlets were running the retraction.

On the other hand, seeing the SpaceWar (Agence France Presse) story about the Pentagon's statement makes me wonder. Could it be that all of these media outlets are pointing the finger in an attempt to take the attention off the fact that every single one of them would have done the same thing?

Let's consider this for a moment. I'll admit that several of the outlets were rather coy about it. They didn't report specifically on the allegations; they reported on the riots caused by the allegations, which gave them the option of quietly inserting the cause of the riots. Then, when the allegations are shown to be false, everyone is quick to point the figures back at the source, as if to say "We don't act like that! Shame on you!"

If you ask me, it's a classic case of passing the buck. Who reads Newsweek? It isn't published frequently enough to have a readership beyond those who aren't really that news savvy. It's a "news magazine", meaning that the stories are longer, but tend to be less about hard, inverted pyramid style news. The BBC, CNN, the AFP, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, et cetera, are the opposite: daily (or hourly) reports on everything. They distribute the news that all of the little Newsweeks can't, and follow up on it. If anyone's responsible for spreading this story as far as it went, it's not Newsweek, but these other news outlets.

Fortune Smiles Upon Us All

Remember a few posts ago, when I said I didn't have time to read about China? That's because I waited until this morning to do my first assignment for my theater class, which was due this morning. I arrived at the computer lab at about 06:15, and had sixteen hundred pages of high quality (already known) paper done by 08:55, which was just about the time I needed to finish by.

Well, after my first class with Professor Augustus, I went to the theater class, only to learn that it was cancelled, and that assignments could be turned in to the office. The moral of the story? Clean living, and the ability to pick a subject that I'd already studied for years (Hellenic history) allowed me to finish in under three hours, and then gave me an additional bit of time to blog and work with.

Sometimes it's good to be Fly.

Socialist Health Care

Who gets the best health care in Europe? You guessed it: Italian horses!

The Billionaire Next Door

I really hate all of those rich fat cat industrialists, particularly the ones in the computer industry. They're only interested in themselves, and they never give anything back.

US computer billionaire Bill Gates has doubled the funding he gives to a body set up to fight disease in the developing world.

He told the annual assembly of the World Health Organization more needed to be done to fight health inequality.

The Microsoft founder pledged an extra $250m to Grand Challenges in Global Health, which he set up in 2003.

The assembly is due to debate plans to tackle malaria, polio and influenza.

But... Uh... Bill Gates is evil because he's rich! Isn't he!?

Lynch Newsweek

Continuing on the Newsweek retraction story, things are just as I predicted: the Afghan and Pakistani people are skeptical of the retraction.

KABUL, Afghanistan (CNN) -- Muslims in Afghanistan and Pakistan were skeptical after a U.S. magazine backed away from a report that U.S. interrogators desecrated copies of the Quran while questioning prisoners at Guantanamo Bay.

The account in Newsweek magazine's May 9 issue has been blamed for sparking deadly riots in Afghanistan and other parts of the Muslim world.

On Sunday, Newsweek backed away from the report and offered its sympathies "to victims of the violence and to the U.S. soldiers caught in its midst."

But Muslims said they suspected that pressure from Washington was behind the magazine's climbdown, Reuters reported Monday.

"We will not be deceived by this," Islamic cleric Mullah Sadullah Abu Aman told Reuters in the northern Afghan province of Badakhshan.

"This is a decision by America to save itself. It comes because of American pressure. Even an ordinary illiterate peasant understands this and won't accept it."

Perhaps, Mullah Aman, that's because you tell all of those illiterate peasants what to think? The charges were ridiculous to begin with, and the fact that the Afghans and Pakistanis didn't see through it just proves how far the Islamofascist control of the populace goes, even in moderate Pakistan.