31 December 2005

Fly Report: 31st January 2005

Good morning. It was a teenage wedding and the old folks wished them well.

It can't possibly be 88° Fahrenheit again in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 45° Fahrenheit with clouds.

The average price of oil is $60.01 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.72 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 12. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien, with every intention of finishing it today.

Under a blood red sky, a crowd has gathered in black and white. Arms entwined, the chosen few; the newspapers says, says, ay it's true it's true... And we can break through; though torn in two, we can be one.

A Reminder of Anachronism

Bane introduced me to the cartoons of Max Cannon. This one reminds me of everyone's favorite conservative curmudgeon, Anachronism.

UPDATE: Come to think of it, a lot of these remind me of Anachronism.

Martin Crane: Superior Relationship Analyst

What's even better than a James Bond reference? A James Bond in an episode of Frasier.

Martin: Jeez, how do you guys get up in the morning? You want to go into deep analysis? Listen to me, I'm your father. There's nothing wrong with either one of you. [to Frasier] You dump a woman but you can't get her off your mind, so you end up getting dumped by the other one. And you should have stayed with the first one anyway, she was hotter. [to Niles] And you? You're just learning how to date. I mean, it would have been nice if it had happened 25 years ago, but you play the cards you're dealt. Me? I like Bonnie, Bonnie's dog humps Eddie, I don't like Bonnie anymore. It doesn't mean I have "issues with women," it's just life, you know? Good stuff happens and bad stuff happens, that's all. You've just gotta look on the bright side. It's like that old song - "You Gotta Accentuate the Positive."
Frasier: Maybe Dad's right. We do tend to over-analyze things.
Martin: Hey. I got an idea. [going over to the piano] Let's go over here. Let's do a little singing.
Niles: Dad...
Martin: [to Jack] Hey, buddy, can you play "Accentuate the Positive"?
Jack: Oh, no, I'm just noodling around. The real pianist doesn't come till 9:00.
Martin: Well, you can fake it, can't you?
Jack: Well no, not really. I actually only know three songs – "America the Beautiful," "Happy Birthday" and "Goldfinger."
Frasier: That's all right, buddy-
Martin: No, come on guys, we were gonna sing a happy song, let's sing a happy song. [to Jack] Uh, play "Goldfinger."
Niles: We don't know the words to that.
Martin: Oh, come on, you knew it when you were kids! It'll cheer you up, come on. [to Jack] Hit it.
[Reluctantly the guys follow Martin over to the piano and stand awkwardly as Jack launches into "Goldfinger."]
Jack: [plays opening bars, then sings] Weh-weh-weh, Weh-weh-weh...
Martin: [prompting] Goldfinger...
All: [singing, Frasier and Niles bored] "Goldfinger!"
Martin: He's the man, the man with the Midas touch.
All: "He's the man, the man with the Midas touch..."
Martin: A spider's touch.
All: "A spider's touch..."
Martin: Such a cold finger.
Frasier: Dad, this is ridiculous.
Martin: Oh, come on, sing it!
All: "Such a cold finger...
[Frasier and Niles start remembering and getting into it]
"Beckons you to enter his web of sin..."
Martin: That's it!
All: "But don't go in!"

This track is actually on Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs, the soundtrack to the popular sitcom Frasier. I played it on the radio many times, usually followed by Soft Cell's version of "You Only Live Twice", a cover of the Nancy Sinatra tune that accompanied the what was probably Connery's best Bond film ever.

Thus saith the Fly.

30 December 2005

A Story Fly Missed

Sweet merciful glaven on a stick, how did I miss this story? Outstanding!

Fly Report: 30th December 2005

Good morning. Yackity yack, don't talk back.

It's 41° with light rain and moderate wind in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 37° Fahrenheit with clouds.

The average price of oil is $59.53 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.73 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 11. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

The more you take, the less you feel; the less you know, the more you believe; the more you have, the more it takes today.

2700: Tennis in Heaven

This is my 2700th post. Pretty cool, huh? I do more in one year than most bloggers have done in four or five. I guess that's just because I rule... Or something.

At any rate, this is a picture that was taken earlier this year; the full blurb can be seen here. The two guys on the tennis court/helipad are Andre Agassi and Roger Federer, and they're at the Burj al Arab, a hotel in/off the coast of Dubai, United Arab Emirates.

More pictures of this amazing engineering spectacle can be seen here.

G'night, folks.

29 December 2005

Turning Over

This is post 2699 for yours truly. My next post will be 2700. Here's what's going on today.

I read two chapters of The Return of the King yesterday, and I'm going to make a pretty good effort to eliminate another chunk of it today. My major obstacle as I write this is that one of my favorite Bond films, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, is playing on Spike as part of the Eight Days of 007 marathon. Since I, once again, don't have anything better to do, I'm going to pay as much attention as possible to this film while it's playing on the teevee, given that it's no longer available for rental at the local video store. Savages...

I started a new set of contact lenses today, which I hadn't done since about July or August. I'm supposed to change them every couple of months, but I try to pull at least a couple of extra months out of them; I once got about a year and a half, maybe two years out of one pair. I don't intend to do that again. I'll also being doing some laundry today, and working on a few other projects such as putting some updates into my book list, and buying a used copy of The Hobbit (if I can find one) to trade to my friend Heidi so that I can get my own copy back (she's had it for at least two years, and hasn't opened it yet).

If you've got a minute, please read this post, and give me your input; I'd rather not base my E-Mail solely on the asinine ramblings of a silly little boy who needs to beat cheeks into the real world.

Fly Report: 29th January 2005

Good morning. This never happened to the other fellow.

It's 37° with a chance of showers in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 38° Fahrenheit with clouds and fog.

The average price of oil is $59.04 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.72 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 10. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Man dreams one day to fly; a man takes a rocketship into the skies. He lives on a star that's dying in the night, and follows in the trail, the scatter of light.

Cutting the Ties that Bind

Longtime readers of this blog will have heard the occasional story about my adventures with Gus and Jen. At the point of this writing, I have not received so much as an E-Mail from Gus since the beginning of October. In June, I would have considered this guy to be best man material if I were getting married; now I'm pretty much ready to send this E-Mail to him.

Hey Gus,

It's been quite a while since I've heard from you. I'm looking for jobs at this point, and will probably be moving out of the area in the near future. My guess is that our paths probably won't cross before then, so I figured I'd send you a quick note to let you know that I hope that you enjoy continued success.

I've enjoyed and valued our time together over the last few years. Believe it or not, I've learned (and even grown) quite a bit as a result of our friendship, and that is something I will value long into the future. I wish only good things for you as we continue to write our own chapters of history.

Best wishes,
The Fly

I really hate cutting ties like this, and it's possible that the friendship could rebound after this long hiatus. Really, though, he's on his way to getting married (which I found out about through the girlfriend's blog, a month after the fact), he's got a solid job, and he's looking to buy a house. I haven't gotten an E-Mail from him since October, I haven't gotten a call since at least early September, and I haven't seen him in person since July. I, on the other hand, am single, and I'm getting ready to move somewhere that, for all I know at this point, could be inhabited by dragons, hobbits, or damn dirty apes. If the friendship is going to fall apart, now's a good enough time for it to happen.

Thoughts?

28 December 2005

Personal Jesus

Okay, this isn't a post about the Depeche Mode song, or the Johnny Cash cover of said song. This is actually a post about my employment developments, which are few.

Last night I applied for another job at Jane's Information Group, this time with the Washington bureau as a staff reporter for Jane's Defense Weekly. It's a job for which I am extremely qualified.

Tonight I'll be putting together a tailored resume for Iron Mountain, a company that deals in records management for health care providers, banks, businesses, and such. It's another job that I'd be well qualified for. I'm also going to hit Raytheon again and try out their proprietary resume builder. If I don't like it, I'll put a little TLC into that particular resume and resubmit it.

At the recommendation of Father Time, whose blog should be popping into existence any time now, I'll also be applying to some publishers.

Yup.

Bond Quiz: Answers

Here are the answers to the Bond Quiz, though I've considered extending the deadline because of the sheer volume of submissions!

001 Who are the six actors who have portrayed/will portray James Bond thus far? Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and Daniel Craig
002 What distinguishing characteristic did the man with the golden gun have? Scaramanga had a superfluous third nipple, like Krusty the Klown
003 What is James Bond's weapon of choice? Walther PPK
004 What popular actress got her start as a Bond girl alongside Roger Moore? Jane Seymour as Solitaire in Live and Let Die
005 What is James Bond's signature drink? Vodka Martini, shaken not stirred
006 What is the naval rank held by James Bond? Commander
007 How many Bond novels did Ian Fleming write? thirteen
008 Who was Bond's arch nemesis? Ernst Stavro Blofeld
009 To date, what is the only Ian Fleming 007 novel that hasn't been made into a Bond film? Casino Royale (it's the basis for Daniel Craig's first Bond film, due out November 2006)
010 Who is the only actor to have played James Bond in non-consecutive films? Sean Connery, who came back for Diamonds Are Forever after Lazenby vacated the role
011 In which film did Bond romance the most women? On Her Majesty's Secret Service, George Lazenby's only Bond film
012 The Bond novels are semi-biographical. Whose experiences were being written about when Fleming penned the books? his own
013 Where did the title "The World is Not Enough" come from? It's the Bond family motto, as discovered in On Her Majesty's Secret Service; it's on the Bond family coat of arms.
014 Where did the title "GoldenEye" come from? "GoldenEye" was the name of Ian Fleming's mansion in Jamaica.
015 Fill in the blanks: "This is a rare picture of [blank] signed by [blank]." "This is a rare picture of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore." From an episode of The Simpsons.

Fly Report: 28th December 2005

Good morning. A day without blood is like a day without sunshine.

It's 36° with a chance of showers in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 45° Fahrenheit with afternoon rain and snow showers.

The average price of oil is $57.85 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.73 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 9. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Tuba mirum spagrens sonum, descendit in inferno.

Ten Wickets

Another timeless moment from Sports Night...

Casey: Natalie.
Natalie: Casey.
Casey: Don't I rely on you?
Natalie: Yes, but--
Casey: Don't I rely on you for information?
Natalie: Casey, she didn't tell me until just before air time. I didn't want to tell you before you went on the air.
Dan: Didn't stop Rebecca.
Jeremy: That was my fault.
Dan: Then you are my sworn enemy.
Jeremy: Dan--
Dan: I love you man, give me a hug. I love you too, Casey. You're like my, y'know, much, much older brother.
Casey: Dan.
Dan: Bobbin' 'n weavin'!
Casey: Gordon asked Dana to marry her.
Dan: Wow.
Casey: Yeah.
Dan: No, seriously, Casey.
Casey: I know.
Jeremy: Listen, think about this. Halfway around the world, a lone man has accomplished an extraordinary athletic feat.
Dan: What?
Jeremy: I don't know.
Dan: Good enough.
Jeremy: (toasting) I give you Mr. Chauncy St. John of New Delhi.
All: (toasting) Chauncy St. John.
Casey: Ahhhhh... Somehow…
Dan: Somehow what?
Casey: Somehow...in time...I'm gonna figure out a way to blame this on Jerry Falwell.
Natalie: (toasting) Jerry Falwell!
All: (toasting) Jerry Falwell.
Natalie: The thing is, Casey…
Casey: What?
Natalie: I didn't hear it.
Casey: Hear what?
Natalie: Did you hear it Dan?
Dan: I didn't hear it, did you hear it, Jeremy?
Jeremy: I didn't hear it.
Natalie: Nobody's heard it, Casey. Nobody's heard the bell ring.
Casey: Yeah?
Natalie: Yeah.
Casey: I'm gonna need a plan.

I still love this show. I can't wait for Father Time (who should be starting his own blog any hour now... ) to finish with Volume 1 so that I can enjoy the first sixteen episodes again.

27 December 2005

Drosophilic Congratulations

Congratulations to TSTF commentator Sneaky Pete, who is now the proud father of a little boy! A recipient of the Fly's Classical Archive, Pete has committed to raising his new son using nothing but Latin in the home. (Well, maybe not.)

Congratulations, mate!

The Bond Quiz

Fifteen questions. You get them right, you win a prize.

001 Who are the six actors who have portrayed/will portray James Bond thus far?
002 What distinguishing characteristic did the man with the golden gun have?
003 What is James Bond's weapon of choice?
004 What popular actress got her start as a Bond girl alongside Roger Moore?
005 What is James Bond's signature drink?
006 What is the naval rank held by James Bond?
007 How many Bond novels did Ian Fleming write?
008 Who was Bond's arch nemesis?
009 To date, what is the only Ian Fleming 007 novel that hasn't been made into a Bond film?
010 Who is the only actor to have played James Bond in non-consecutive films?
011 In which film did Bond romance the most women?
012 The Bond novels are semi-biographical. Whose experiences were being written about when Fleming penned the books?
013 Where did the title "The World is Not Enough" come from?
014 Where did the title "GoldenEye" come from?
015 Fill in the blanks: "This is a rare picture of [blank] signed by [blank]."

Good luck!

Fly Report: 27th December 2005

Good morning. Today we mourn a stooge.

It's 39° with a chance of showers in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 40° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

The average price of oil is $56.82 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.73 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

Today's scripture reading is Luke 9. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Blue eyed boy meets a brown eyed girl; you can sew it up, but you still see the tear.

26 December 2005

2006 Resolved: Part I

Some of you know me only from the blogs (Poosh, Mad Alchemist, Lycan Thrope); some of you know me a little better, having spoken on the phone and exchanged E-Mails with me (the lovely and talented Manda, Shannon the CCE); some of you know me extremely well, or have even met me (Friar Dave, the lovely and talented Michelle, Sarah Canuck); and some of you know me well in person (April, M@, Father Time). In one way or another, you've been with me through thick and thin over the last six to twelve months, or longer. Many of you know me, my background, my character, my dreams and goals, et cetera.

Over the last few days, Law School Goddess has kept me informed as she's developed her set of resolutions for 2006. I'm a fan of making resolutions, even though I don't usually accomplish all of them. Here are a few from recent years.

  • Pass that Navy SEAL PFT
  • Write something worth publishing
  • Go stargazing/shooting/on a photography expedition every other week
  • Read one book per month
  • Go to England

    Save for going to England (2004), and technically writing something worth publishing, most of those didn't get accomplished. So, at any rate, I'm coming up with my resolutions for 2006. Here's what I've got so far.

  • Pass the Navy SEAL PFT
  • Read two books per month: one for leisure, one for professional development
  • Write something worth publishing

    So, given that you folks know me in varying degrees, I'm curious: what do you think should make the list? I'm looking for two to four more resolutions, probably settling around five. They need to be realistic, but somewhat ambitious; and finding a job isn't going to be one of them, because if I don't have a job by 2007, I won't have broken my resolution, I'll have failed as a human being.

    Also, if you care to post your own resolutions, so long as you note that, I'd love to hear them. What should I accomplish in 2006? What do you hope to accomplish in 2006? Post it up, folks.
  • Fly Report: 26th December 2005

    Good morning. Be aggressive, B-E aggressive.

    It can't possibly be 41° and mostly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 43° Fahrenheit with rain and snow showers.

    The average price of oil is $57.43 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.73 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame) - They haven't changed it from yesterday yet.

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 8, and I finally read it. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

    Don't believe in Goldman, his type like a curse; instant karma's going to get him if I don't get him first.

    Another Sports Night Moment

    This one's dedicated to Father Time.

    (Live via satellite... )

    Chuck Kimmel: Hello Casey. Yes I'm ringside at Bally's where the breakfast buffet is $3.95, the slots are loose and the showgirls are fantastic.

    (In the control room... )

    Dana: Oh my God.
    Jeremy: No, I've been there, it's true

    I love this show.

    Wherein Fly Owns Anachronism

    Since my exchanges with Anachronism are almost as funny as my exchanges with CCG, I'll post this latest gem.

    Anachronism: ok, you're an ungrateful little bastard. :-D
    The Fly: And you sodomize goats.
    Anachronism: Actually, the Liberty has earned me enough points with God that I've moved on to goldfish
    The Fly: You sodomize goldfish?

    You know, I have to make the obvious point that if Anachronism is physically able to sodomize a goldfish... Well, let's just say that goldfish aren't the largest animals in the world, and leave it at that.

    25 December 2005

    Fly Report: 25th December 2005

    Good morning. I'm leaving town and mumbling something about a train.

    It can't possibly be 88° in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 45° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

    The average price of oil is $57.43 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.73 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 8. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

    Yeah I left with nothing, but the thought you'd be there too, looking for you. Yeah I left with nothing, nothing but the thought of you; I went wandering.

    A Special Christmas Wish

    Bah humbug. Yes. You read that correctly. Bah humbug. We don't even have any relatives over, and this Christmas is already far more trouble than it's worth.

    So I say it again: bah humbug. The only redeeming qualities of this holiday season of peace and joy came long before this day actually arrived; save for the card I got today from Becki, which absolutely kicked ass.

    Humbug, humbug, humbug.

    24 December 2005

    Fly Report: 24th December 2005

    Good morning. Pump up the jam.

    It can't possibly be 84° in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 46° Fahrenheit with heavy clouding.

    The average price of oil is $57.43 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.73 for £1, or £0.58 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame) Today's picture is most excellent, go check it out.

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 8. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

    In an apartment on Time Square, you can assemble them anywhere. Held to ransom, hell to pay, a revolution everyday. USSR, GDR, London, New York, Peking; it's the puppets, it's the puppets, pull the strings, yeah.

    Movies, Movies, Movies

    Last night, after work, I went to the local video store and picked up a couple of movies. I have since watched both.

    Last night, I watched "The 40 Year Old Virgin" with Steve Carrell. I was expecting it to be the same old crap with a few funny scenes, but I really thought the movie was well done. Carrell's acting was great, his co-workers/friends were believable, and the entire thing was really well done. I'm not sure if it's one that I'd buy on video, but it's certainly worth the rental, and if I'd gotten my ass to the theater over the Summer, it would have been worth paying for a full priced ticket.

    Tonight, once I was home, I watched the second movie: Stanley Kubrick's "A Clockwork Orange". I recently received the book as a gift, and I've wanted to see the film for a long time. It was extremely graphic, so I don't recommend it for the faint of heart; it must have been really over the top for its release date of 1971. Now I can say that I've watched the film, hopefully in a few weeks I'll be able to say that I read the book, and then I'll have all the background I need for an old U2 B-Side that was published in only one spot: on the single for "The Fly". Appropriate, eh?

    Well, it says "movies" thrice up in the title, and I've only listed two. The third? Well, it's more than just another movie. Today was the start of Spike TV's "The Eight Days of 007". I just caught the end of my favorite Connery Bond film, "You Only Live Twice", and now I'm watching the beginning of "From Russia With Love" before I go to bed. If you're bored over the next week, tune in to Spike TV for some great Bond films; just avoid "Die Another Day", "A View to a Kill", and "Never Say Never Again".

    G'night, folks.

    'Bout a Train

    When I hear that train a-coming from the junction
    Troublin' my mind is it's favorite function.
    It makes that crying on that old air horn
    Middle of the night, I can hear it mourn

    The world is a stone hanging in the night
    The train's a woman and she leaves behind a light
    Love is gone, I mean washed out in the rain
    Leaving town and mumbling something ‘bout a train
    Oh, about a train

    My head is full of sky and my boots are full of ocean
    And stolen designs for perpetual motion
    Love scarred, shattered, tattered, and unfolding
    Silent man, he won't tell me what it is
    What it is he's holding

    The world is a stone hanging in the night
    The train's a woman and she leaves behind a light
    Love is gone, I mean washed out in the rain
    Leaving town and mumbling something ‘bout a train

    My heart is a stone, and my head is a canyon
    Far off lonely home is my only companion
    Love is gone, I mean washed out in the rain
    Leaving town, mumbling something about a train
    - Spin Doctors, "'Bout A Train"

    23 December 2005

    Ruining Christmas for All

    These are the lyrics to a rendition of "The Night Before Christmas" on a local radio station's Christmas CD from 1998. Enjoy.

    Twas the night before Christmas and in the White House
    President Clinton was sleeping not far from his spouse
    A cigar box was placed on his Oval Office chair
    In hopes a new intern soon would be there
    When in the Lincoln Bedroom there arose such a clatter
    Bill sprang from his bed to see what was the matter
    When what to his wondering eyes did he spot
    But a great big ol' woman, and she was totally hot
    As he snuck in to watch her without making a sound
    He hid by the curtains and pulled his pants down
    She was dressed all in fur from her head to her foot
    And he wondered, "On her, which of my moves should I put?"
    She was husky and busty, with a big plump round fanny
    Just the way that he liked 'em; it was uncanny
    As he moved toward the beauty with his pants 'round his knees
    He was all set to take her and do what he pleased
    As he's done in the past, he offered her a cigar
    Then she pulled off her mask to reveal she was Ken Starr
    "I've got you now, Billy! I've caught you red handed!
    Why must you think with your ****?" he demanded
    "I've been naughty, Judge Starr. Won't you please let me go?
    If you do, I'll get you a date with Janet Reno."
    Ken Starr took the deal, and that night got with Janet
    A more disgusting sight was never seen on this planet
    And they heard Bill exclaim, as he turned out the light
    "Merry Christmas, y'all! I hope you do it all night!"

    If you didn't throw up, then you weren't reading close enough.

    Fly Report: 23rd December 2005

    Good morning. Togae atrae lepidae sunt.

    It's 48° Fahrenheit and partial clouds and wind in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 41° Fahrenheit with partial clouding.

    The average price of oil is $57.10 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.74 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame) Today's picture is really cool, go check it out.

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 7, and 8 because (say it with me): Fly slacked off. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

    My father is a rich man; he wears a rich man's cloak. Gave me the keys to his kingdom coming; gave me a cup of gold. "He said I have many mansions, and there are many rooms to see." But I left by the back door, and I threw away the key.

    22 December 2005

    Credit Where Due

    A couple of things.

    You all know what my feelings on Christmas are; even so, I've been compelled into participation by a number of friends, and I can deal with that.

    April gave me an excellent gift that she made herself, that I've already gotten a lot of use out of, and even compliments on. This is my public thanks to April, who rocks.

    And Michelle, once again blowing the top off of the neatness meter, sent me one of the books that I had on my "Stuff Fly Wants" list, as well as another item that was, bar none, perfect; one of the most strategically excellent gifts I have ever received.

    That is all. Thank you.

    Reflections on Iraq

    I've thought a bit about this over the last few days. Assuming there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, I still support the invasion, and I still think it was the right thing to do. I think we should stay the course, and go the distance. Here are a few reasons why I still feel the way I do.

    One of the biggest objections to the Iraq War is the civilian body count; people claim, erroneously, that there have been one hundred thousand civilians killed. The real count, at this point (in spite of the fact that they've been using the one hundred thousand count for like, two years now) is around thirty thousand; also, opponents to the war tend to count Iraqi security forces as well as the terrorists themselves in that body count.

    Let's break it down to the brass tacks, though: would the body count over the last three years have been higher under a continued Saddam Hussein regime? All indications, including the numerous mass graves that have been discovered, indicate in the affirmative. Would the Iraqis have had shorter life spans due to the continued abuse, by both U.N. officials and the Hussein regime, of the Oil-for-Food program? Yes. So as far as humanitarianism goes, I'm of the opinion that there would have been more suffering and a higher body count if we hadn't gone to Iraq.

    Another claim, which is erroneous and worthy of clarification, is that Saddam Hussein had no connection to al Qaeda. Hussein may have had no direct connection to 9/11, but there's rather strong evidence that he had connections to al Qaeda. The possibility that Saddam was connected to 9/11 was explored, and there wasn't much evidence to support it. That's a pretty big distinction. Opponents of the Bush Administration frequently claim that those who voted for President Bush still think that Saddam Hussein was connected to 9/11; the Bush Administration has been careful not to make that connection, and I've not met anyone who claimed that Saddam was involved, save for one guy that I talked to on 9/11, who I corrected and said "It's probably Usama bin Laden, this isn't the kind of attack that's carried out by a country; it's terrorism."

    Even if one assumes that there was no connection between Saddam Hussein and al Qaeda, Hussein openly supported terrorist organizations like Hamas and Islamic Jihad. Directly preceding the invasion of Iraq, Hussein was still giving $25,000 to the family of each and every terrorist suicide bomber who stepped onto a bus, or into a border checkpoint, or cafe, or pizzeria, and blew themselves up. So, if one were to incorrectly assume that Saddam Hussein had no ties to al Qaeda, they still couldn't excuse the open and undeniable connection between Saddam Hussein and terrorism. These groups, like Hamas, Islamic Jihad, the al Aqsa Martyrs' Brigade, et cetera, have been on the State Department's list of international terrorist organizations that are hostile to the United States since Madeline Albright was Secretary of State, and possibly earlier than that. They hate the United States, they carry out criminal operations on American soil to finance terrorist operations abroad, and Saddam Hussein gave them money.

    Saddam Hussein frequently violated the terms of the ceasefire treaty that he authorized in 1991, ending Gulf War I. He regularly shot surface-to-air missiles at coalition aircraft patrolling the no-fly zones. This is only one example. Another example is the deception of U.N. weapons inspectors; whether the weapons were there or not, the Iraqi officials frequently and systematically worked to deceive weapons inspectors, making the inspections themselves pretty much pointless.

    And the weapons themselves? They've been found, at least in bits and pieces. Mustard and sarin gas artillery rounds have been found, buried; they were supposed to have been destroyed, documented, and verified by weapons inspectors as having been destroyed. And remember the al Qaqaa depot, that Senator Kerry claimed during the election to have been robbed of high explosives used to make atomic weapons? Those were illegal under the provisions of the 1991 treaty. And remember when Senator Kerry criticized President Bush for sending troops to guard the oil infrastructure, instead of guarding the Nuclear Ministry offices? If Saddam Hussein wasn't trying to get nuclear technology, then why did he have a Nuclear Ministry?

    The war against international Islamofascist terrorism goes beyond al Qaeda, and it goes beyond Usama bin Laden. He's a figurehead for a much bigger movement, and people who are uninformed about the issue often forget that. Saddam Hussein was killing his own people, he was diverting money and supplies from the Oil-for-Food program into his own coffers (most of which was American money to begin with), and he was funneling money to terrorist organizations. Assuming there were no weapons of mass destruction, assuming there were no ties to al Qaeda, he was still violating the 1991 treaty and intrnational law. He was still supporting terrorists, he was still killing his citizens, he was still stealing American money in the Oil-for-Food debacle. He was a destabilizing force in the region, he had a track record of acquiring illegal weapons, and he had a track record of using them against Iran, Israel, and the Kurdish autonomous zone in northern Iraq.

    Given these things, I supported then, and continue to support the invasion of Iraq. Has the invasion gone precisely according to plan? No, of course not. Has it still been one of the most successful military campaigns in history? Yes, it has; as a military historian, I can assure you of that.

    So, if people want to argue the legitimacy or justification for the war with me, they're welcome to do so; but as far as I'm concerned, the same old arguments that I keep hearing are tired, ill-informed, and inaccurate. I'm still convinced that the criticism of the war has more to do with people not liking Republicans than it has to do with people actually caring about Iraq or the deployment of American military personnel. If those critics want me to go back to paying attention to them, they're going to have to come up with something a little more tangible than "There were no weapons of mass destruction!" or "Bush lied, people died!"

    Thus saith the Fly.

    Fly Report: 22nd December 2005

    Good morning. I've got the key to the kingdom.

    It's 46° Fahrenheit and mostly cloudy in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 44° Fahrenheit with partial clouding.

    The average price of oil is $57.61 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.74 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 7. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

    I was talking; I was talking to myself. Somebody else talk talk talking; I couldn't hear a word, a word you said.

    Wednesday

    Curious about my day? Strap yourselves in for the thrill ride that is my life.

    I got up at about 08:15, having stayed up 'til almost 23:30 watching the season finale of Nip/Tuck. It got too creeped out by what might have been coming (penile mutilation with a box cutter, and facial mutilation with a knife), so I went to bed. Once I was up, it was the same lazy routine I've gotten into: slowly getting ready for the day to Saved By the Bell, Spin City, King of the Hill, and MacGyver. I had errands to run in College City today, so I eventually got myself in gear and got gone.

    My first stop was College City General Hospital. As I mentioned last week, Mrs. Augustus has been diagnosed with cancer. I spoke briefly with Professor Augustus on Monday, and he told me that she'd be up for a visit; I'd hoped to go last night, but by the time I got back from Metropolis, it was almost past visiting hours. I ran into a couple of friends from the Socratic Society in the lobby, and we went up together. Mrs. Augustus is in pretty rough shape, and she was fighting off sleep the entire time we were there; even so, and even with all the pain medication she's on, she was pretty coherent, though she wasn't speaking in a very loud voice. This is going to be a tough one for me to watch; she'd just been cured of a chronic ailment, and now she's got extremely serious cancer. That's not the way it's supposed to work.

    Once I was done there, I went to pick up Katie (who comments on the blog), as we were slated to hang out. I picked her up at her place and wound up meeting, finally, a girl who has also commented on the blog once or twice, who writes for the campus newspaper. Once pleasantries were exchanged, Katie and I drove out to the local winery, which happens to be owned by my cousins. I picked up a bottle of wine, and back to College City we went to go have a late lunch. It should be noted that Katie has a boyfriend, and she and I have no romantic interest in each other. None. At all. At any rate, once lunch was concluded and I'd shuttled Katie back to her flat, I went back home and got ready for work.

    Remember this post from last week? Well, my boss called me a couple of days ago when I was up in Metropolis to let me know that the company across the state whose keisters I saved by delivering their parcel when their vehicle broke down had sent us a massive goodie basket with fruit, cheeses, meats, et cetera. I wouldn't say that I attacked it upon arriving at work, but I've snagged a couple of goodies. That makes the whole thing a little bit more digestible.

    So now, I'm here, sitting, waiting for my shift to be over. I've got an invite to go back to College City for movies and beer, and I'm going to go for it, though I probably won't drink heavily, and I probably will take what's left of my lunch in order to counter-balance the small amount of alcohol I'll consume.

    Tomorrow, in addition to a Fly Report and working on an HTML cheat sheet for Father Time and M@, I think I'm going to do a sort of "Fly's Year In Review" post, and maybe work on some New Years resolutions. Stay tuned, folks.

    Oh, and by the way: Ohhhhhhhh snap!

    21 December 2005

    Annoying Girl Revisited

    Sorry for the explicit photo, but there's a point to it. Remember Annoying Girl from Arabic class last Summer?

    Last night I was talking on AIM with Katie, who comments around here from time to time. She sent me the image you see to the side. Apparently, this is Annoying Girl's main image on The Facebook. That's right, folks; before you even see her face, you see her saggy breasts, pot belly, and nasty, prison quality tattoos.

    Could a person be any more classless? Seriously.

    UPDATE: And once again Anachronism adds his two cents.

    Anachronism: oh dear God, my poor retinas
    The Fly: ROFL
    Anachronism: you sick, sick bastard
    The Fly: I'm sorry that this was the way you had to see nipples for the first time.
    Anachronism: lol
    Anachronism: seriously, normally when I see a human body that horribly wrong, it's in a medical textbook

    And how!

    Fly Report: 21st December 2005

    Good morning. Quoth Hank Scorpio: "Nobody ever says Italy."

    It's 45° Fahrenheit with a chance of showers in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 44° Fahrenheit with partial clouding.

    The average price of oil is $56.93 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.75 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 6. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

    Baby please, baby what's that tune. Well I heard it before when I crawled from your door and my blood turned blue.

    20 December 2005

    Quick Hiatus

    Hey folks. I meant to post before I left. M@ is flying into Metropolis tomorrow morning, early, and given the lousy state of the roads I decided to come up to Metropolis and crash at April's folks' place for the night. Regular posting will resume at some point tomorrow, but no Fly Report; my apologies.

    Run amuck.

    19 December 2005

    A Christmas Quote

    Here's a great quote from Sports Night, after Casey McCall (Peter Krause) has given Isaac Jaffee (Robert Guillaume) a cheese grater; Casey was Isaac's "Secret Santa".

    Isaac: A famous monk once said, 'I don't always know what the right thing to do is, my Lord, but I think that the fact that I want to please you, pleases you.'
    Casey: But you would have preferred a book of famous monk quotations.
    Isaac: No, you put some thought into me. What could be a greater gift?
    Casey: I look like an idiot.
    Isaac: Added bonus!

    And how!

    Fly Report: 19th December 2005

    Good morning. I'll try to make it spin; it fell, I'll try again.

    It's 45° Fahrenheit with a chance of showers in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 22° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

    The average price of oil is $57.04 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.77 for £1, or £0.56 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 5. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

    On the hill of the son I'm on the eve of a storm, and my word you must believe in love; I said love, rescue me.

    Jeremy Gets Hired

    Maybe when I finally land a job, it'll be something like this scene from the pilot episode of Sports Night.

    Dana: Let's meet with your guy.
    Natalie: Jeremy, this is Dana Whitaker.
    Dana: We've met.
    Jeremy: Yes.
    Dana: You have an impressive resume. Let me ask you some questions.
    Natalie: You look nervous.
    Jeremy: I'm okay.
    Natalie: Would you like a glass of water?
    Jeremy: Uh, no thanks.
    Natalie: A soft drink? We have Fresca.
    Dana: If you're taking orders, I'll have the angel-hair pasta and a nice Merlot...
    Natalie: I'm just --
    Dana: Can we interview the man?
    Natalie: I'm just trying --
    Dana: I know...
    Natalie: I'm just trying to make him comfortable --
    Dana: ... a little professionalism is all I'm saying.
    Jeremy: You know, I can come back later --
    Dana: What are your favorite sports?
    Jeremy: Uh, I beg your pardon?
    Dana: Where are you strongest?
    Jeremy: Oh, football.
    Dana: Great, let's talk about basketball.
    Jeremy: I said football.
    Dana: I heard you. Let's talk about basketball.
    Jeremy: Uh, we could talk about baseball or hockey.
    Dana: Ah, you're pretty strong in baseball and hockey, are ya?
    Jeremy: Not as strong as football, but --
    Dana: Great. Let's talk about the Knicks.
    Jeremy: I walked right into that one, didn't I?
    Dana: Well, I left the door wide open for ya.
    Natalie: Shot of bourbon?
    Jeremy: Please.
    Dana: Sit! I'm sorry, that was harsh, I hurt your feelings. Name three things the Knicks need to do this season to make it to the finals.
    Jeremy: Um, I couldn't get another question?
    Dana: You will, but not until I hear an answer to the first one.
    Jeremy: What do the Knicks... ?
    Dana: Three things the Knicks need to do to contend.
    Jeremy: Ms. Whitaker, I would be great at this job. You've got to believe me when I tell you I've been training my whole life for it. I've crunched stats, I've broken down film, and there wasn't a team at my high school that didn't have me for an equipment manager. I've read every box score in every newspaper that's printed in English and has a sports section, and I've seen Sports Night every night since your first broadcast two years, two months and a week ago today. Now yes, sure, indeed, I can tell you what Ewing and Oakley are shooting from the field, and that you're not going to stop John Starkes if he squares up to the basket, and put any defensive pressure on Charlie Ward, he's gonna fold like a cheap card table. But if you're asking me for genuinely sophisticated analyses -- and I sense that you are -- then you've gotta give me some time. At least twenty minutes. Did that make any sense?
    Dana: I wasn't really listening.
    Jeremy: Oh, God!
    Dana: Jeremy, Jeremy, this is television, things happen. If you want to work here, you've gonna have to not spontaneously wig out.
    Natalie: Not until an hour before air time.
    Jeremy: Right, right. The Knicks.
    Dana: Name three things!
    Jeremy: Improve their free throw percentage.
    Natalie: Yes!
    Jeremy: Run the floor.
    Dana: Okay. One more.
    Jeremy: Tell Spike Lee to sit down and shut up?
    Natalie: Excellent!
    Dana: Well, welcome to Sports Night.
    Jeremy: Yes!

    Yes, I can see it now...

    Porter Goss: What are your regional specialties?
    The Fly: Uh, I beg your pardon?
    Porter Goss: Where are you strongest?
    The Fly: Oh, South Asia.
    Porter Goss: Great, let's talk about Israel.
    The Fly: I said South Asia.
    Porter Goss: I heard you. Let's talk about Israel.
    The Fly: Uh, we could talk about Mauritania or Libya.
    Porter Goss: Ah, you're pretty strong in North Africa, are ya?
    The Fly: Not as strong as Pakistan, but --
    Porter Goss: Great. Let's talk about the Mossad.
    The Fly: I walked right into that one, didn't I?
    Porter Goss: Well, I left the door wide open for ya.
    Attractive Female Assistant: Pint of Guinness?
    The Fly: Please.
    Porter Goss: Sit! I'm sorry, that was harsh, I hurt your feelings. Name three things the Israelis need to do this season to reduce casualties caused by terrorist bombings.
    The Fly: Um, I couldn't get another question?
    Porter Goss: You will, but not until I hear an answer to the first one.
    The Fly: What do the Israelis...?
    Porter Goss: Three things the Israelis need to do to contend.
    The Fly: Director Goss, I would be great at this job. You've got to believe me when I tell you I've been training my whole life for it. I've crunched stats, I've analyzed news articles, and there wasn't a Naval Science course at my college that I didn't set the curve for. I've read every hard news article about terrorism in every newspaper that's printed in English and has a military news section, and I've seen C-SPAN every night since nine-eleven, four years, three months and a week ago today. Now yes, sure, indeed, I can tell you that bin Laden and al-Zwahiri are hiding in the field, and that you're not going to stop Zarqawi if he squares up to the Iraqi-Syrian border, and put any defensive pressure on Mahmoud Abbas, he's gonna fold like a cheap card table. But if you're asking me for genuinely sophisticated analyses -- and I sense that you are -- then you've gotta give me some time. At least twenty minutes. Did that make any sense?
    Porter Goss: I wasn't really listening.
    The Fly: Oh, God!
    Porter Goss: Fly, Fly, this is Central Intelligence, things happen. If you want to work here, you've gonna have to not spontaneously wig out.
    Attractive Female Assistant: Not until an hour after work.
    The Fly: Right, right. The Israelis.
    Porter Goss: Name three things!
    The Fly: Improve their Hellfire missile percentage.
    Attractive Female Assistant: Yes!
    The Fly: Expand the anti-terrorist barriers.
    Porter Goss: Okay. One more.
    The Fly: Tell the Fatah goons to sit down and shut up?
    Attractive Female Assistant: Excellent!
    Porter Goss: Well, welcome to the CIA.
    The Fly: Yes!

    Well, maybe it won't go quite like that.

    18 December 2005

    The Accuracy of Wikipedia

    Is Wikipedia accurate? Well, I've used it a number of times from everything from blog entries to research papers, though in important situations I try to at least confirm the information I've received.

    An article on MSN, the "news" service I love to loathe, claims that a recent audit by an independent third party found that Wikipedia is no less accurate than the Encyclopedia Britannica, at least when it comes to science articles.

    [...] Based on 42 articles reviewed by experts, the average scientific entry in Wikipedia contained four errors or omissions, while Britannica had three.

    Of eight "serious errors" the reviewers found — including misinterpretations of important concepts — four came from each source, the journal reported.

    I'm not sure how much stock I put in this. A few weeks ago, I corrected this article, which included MacPhisto but omitted The Fly, and listed the name of the appropriate song/video as "Hold Me, Touch Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me". Nitpicking from a U2 fan? Sure, but if it's in the encyclopedia, it's supposed to be accurate, not just some crap that some wanker dropped on there. When we want crap that wankers spew, we have the New York Times and the BBC. And let's not forget this story from a few months ago, about a twelve year old boy who found numerous mistakes in the Encyclopedia Britannica.

    I'll keep using the Wikipedia, because for the most part the information is reliable; but let's be realistic about how accurate an encyclopedia that can be edited by any slack-jawed idiot with a modem and twenty minutes on his hands can be. If the quality is low enough that The Fly has corrected mistakes before, it's not gospel.

    More Applications

    Today, after having my resume and cover letter reviewed by both F3 and Law School Goddess over the last few days, I submitted resumes and cover letters to the following companies:

  • Jane's Information Group
  • SAIC

    I applied for this job at Jane's, though my hope is that if I don't get picked up for it, they might consider me for something else, or at least interview me; I think I'd fit a lot of different niches within their company. As for SAIC, I applied twice: once submitting a general resume, and once for a specific job as a records/document analyst.

    Since I'm not going to accomplish any more of the writing listed on the sidebar, I think that what I'm going to do is replace that section with a list of places I've applied to, or intend to apply to. So far it's Raytheon, Jane's Information Group, SAIC, and a resume posted on Monster that has yielded no legitimate results.

    As this is pretty much my life at this point, I'll keep you all posted. Stay tuned.
  • Fly Report: 18th December 2005

    Good morning. Hark hear the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say, ding dong mmkay.

    It's 45° Fahrenheit with light rain in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 12° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

    The average price of oil is $57.46 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.77 for £1, or £0.56 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 4. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien.

    And hardness, it sets in; you need some protection, the thinner the skin.

    17 December 2005

    For Those Who Pray

    Some of you will remember various references to Professor and Mrs. Augustus; Dr. Augustus was my advisor at university, and I probably took more classes from him than from any other instructor. His wife is probably about the most wonderful person I've ever met; she and her family were refugees to Canada during World War II, and she'd give you anything that she possibly could to make you feel welcome.

    I received word yesterday that Mrs. Augustus has been diagnosed with cancer, and that it's pretty serious; she starts radiation treatments early next week. Given what I'm heard, I'm hopeful, but worried. If you're a person who prays, this woman is not only in need of prayers; she's also probably more deserving than any person you've ever met.

    Thus saith the Fly.

    Fly Report: 17th December 2005

    Good morning. A Malibu and Coke for you, a GNT for me.

    It's 37° Fahrenheit with partial clouding in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 36° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

    The average price of oil is $57.46 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.77 for £1, or £0.56 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 3. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien and Octopussy and The Living Daylights by Ian Fleming.

    What once was hurt, what once was friction, what left a mark no longer stings; because Grace makes beauty out of ugly things.

    The Fly Quiz: Solutions

    Here are my answers to the Fly Quiz. For those of you who actually gave it a go, not bad! For those of you who didn't, shame on you!

    Name my top three favorite non-U2 bands: Chris Isaak, Spin Doctors, Proclaimers

    Name four of my six favorite television programs: SNL, South Park, Simpsons, Battlestar Galactica, MI-5, Sports Night, and you could have also said Space: Above and Beyond which would have made it seven

    Name at least two of my favorite films: Gladiator, American Beauty, Gattaca, and I think there are some more

    Name three of my hobbies: Shooting, reading, writing, painting pottery, photography, travel

    What industry do I work in currently?: funeral industry

    Describe my university education: B.S. in History with a minor Naval Science

    Name three of my favorite books: Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein, Agricola by Tacitus, The Gallic Wars by Julius Caesar, How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill, The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

    Name three of my ex-girlfriends: There were a lot of these. The ones I was expecting included Magdalena, Abigail, The Mirror, Mudflap, F3, SuzAnne, and Cassie. I will also accept "The Older One" and Fat Jessica. Of course, of all of them, only The Mirror and Mudflap were actual girlfriends; the rest were just girls that I dated. And I don't count Christy, so Friar Dave doesn't get his point on that one.

    Who did I want to be the next James Bond?: I forget who I actually said; I thought I'd wanted Matthew MacFadyen, but I think my top choice may have actually been Jude Law, so I'll give April the point on that one.

    Name the foreign countries I've visited: England, Italy, Germany, France, Ireland, Scotland, Canada, Mexico

    Name four people on the blog who I know in person: There were a number of these, some of whom I forgot. I think the closest thing to a comprehensive list I can get to follows: April, M@, Father Time, Mormon Buddha, Ariadne, Anna, Anachronism, Friar Dave, and there's probably some more.

    What do I listen to when relaxing or going to sleep?: When I'm relaxing or going to sleep, I listen to Gregorian chant; on occasion, I'll listen to old U2 (either of their first two albums) but it's usually Gregorian chant.

    What are my three favorite beverages?: There was some level of difficulty on this question; my favorite hot beverage is tea, my favorite alcoholic beverage is Guinness Stout, and my favorite soft drink is root beer. I also would have accepted vanilla milkshake or water.

    So, there you have it. Another day accomplished here on the blog. What do you think: time to get a job?

    UPDATE: April will not relent until I announce that she is the winner of the Fly Quiz. April won. She got everything right. She is excellent and most awesome.

    Back to working on my cover letter.

    16 December 2005

    Getting Blitzed with CCG

    Here's a recent conversation I had with CCG, and as opposed to deleting it (23rd October 2006), I'm leaving it as a demonstration of my thoughts about alcohol and the Christian faith.

    CCG: Guess what I did for the first time last night.
    The Fly: What?
    CCG: tried wine
    The Fly: Wow.
    The Fly: What'd you think?
    CCG: It was gross. I took a tiny sip, said "bleah", and immediately late a bite of bread to get the taste out of my mouth.
    The Fly: LOL
    The Fly: What kind of wine was it?
    CCG: I don't remember. Jeremy said it was a good wine though.
    The Fly: What color was it?
    CCG: white wine
    The Fly: Yeah, I prefer red myself.
    CCG: It had a weird, rotten aftertaste. I was expecting it to taste at least somewhat like grape juice.
    The Fly: Red wine would be closer to that, grape juice is made from red grapes.
    CCG: Oh well. I tried it, I didn't like it, I'm done.
    CCG: at least I can say I tried it
    The Fly: Hmmm. Okay.
    CCG: :-) what?
    The Fly: Well, I'm just remembering that I didn't really care for alcohol at first, I had to develop a taste for it.
    The Fly: And people have very different tastes in alcohol. Two people with very similar backgrounds could like entirely different alcohol.
    The Fly: For example, my brother drinks domestic piss water that they call beer, but my favorite kind of beer is Guinness, just about the darkest stuff out there.
    CCG: But why would I bother to develop a taste in it?
    The Fly: Because if you developed a taste, you might really like it.
    The Fly: Most people don't like alcohol the first couple of times they try it, so it's sort of short-sighted to say "I tried a tiny sip and hated it, so I'll never try it again."
    CCG: I really have no desire to begin drinking. Jeremy just had a glass of wine at dinner and I decided to try it.
    The Fly: Okay.
    The Fly: Well, it wouldn't hurt you to try it again a couple of times and see if you develop a bit of a taste for it, but that's probably not your style anyway. I'm glad you at least made the effort.
    CCG: My parents would already be furious if they even knew I took the tiniest sip. They don't know he drinks at all.
    CCG: I'm a bad girl, Fly
    The Fly: I've never really understood the whole "alcohol = evil" mindset. To me, saying "I don't want to start drinking" is like saying "I don't want to start eating vegetables" or "I'm not going to become omnivorous".
    CCG: Some people think the Bible is very clear that alcohol is something to be avoided.
    The Fly: Such people completely avoid the references to Jesus making alcohol, as well as Pauls admonition to Timothy to drink wine.
    CCG: These people would say Jesus made fresh wine, or "grape juice". . And they would say Paul told Timothy to drink wine only for its medicinal value. That's why he made a comment about it all, otherwise, wouldn't Timothy just be drinking it regularly anyway?
    The Fly: I see no reference to "fresh wine" in the Bible.
    The Fly: I've never seen any information (and I'm an ancient historian) that led me to believe that the wine described in the Bible was really grape juice. I've seen plenty of evidence that people that make that claim are removing scripture from its historical context.
    The Fly: And if wine has medicinal value, then it shouldn't be avoided.
    CCG: What about "wine is a mocker"?
    The Fly: What about it? It's got its context, as do the other verses. You can't negate two or three or eight verses with a single reference taken out of context.
    The Fly: Think about it this way. Where did Jesus turn water into wine? At a wedding. In the first century, in Judea, do you honestly think that it would even be noteworthy for someone to bring grape juice? He would have been ridiculed, because in that time and culture, they didn't have ridiculous cultural taboos about alcohol.

    I could sure go for a Guinness about now.

    The Fly Quiz

    Since I have some things to get accomplished by the end of the day, and might not have much chance to post, I had an idea last night: the Fly Quiz. That's right, folks, I'm going to post a series of questions, and you're on the hook to answer them. If you've been paying attention over the last few months, most of these should be easy, and some of them have multiple correct answer combinations.

    Are you ready? Here we go!

    Name my top three favorite non-U2 bands:

    Name four of my six favorite television programs:

    Name at least two of my favorite films:

    Name three of my hobbies:

    What industry do I work in currently?:

    Describe my university education:

    Name three of my favorite books:

    Name three of my ex-girlfriends:

    Who did I want to be the next James Bond?:

    Name the foreign countries I've visited:

    Name four people on the blog who I know in person:

    What do I listen to when relaxing or going to sleep?:

    What are my three favorite beverages?:

    That should do. I look forward to seeing the wacky nonsense you folks come up with, and if anyone can get everything correct, I've got a prize for you; and it's not just the same old archive CD I always offer.

    Make me proud. I'll post the answers tonight (and E-Mail them to sneaky pete if he gives it a go, since he won't be back on the Internet until Monday).

    Testing Gone Wrong

    My buddy Friar Dave is a grad student/TA at a major university, and whenever he's called upon to grade exams, he gives me the blooper reel, so to speak. Here's the highlights from his grading of an introductory medieval history exam.

    Friar Dave: it's test time, Fly
    The Fly: LOL
    The Fly: Okay?
    Friar Dave: ive got some jewells for you
    The Fly: Ahhhhh. Lay it on me.
    Friar Dave: The hundred years war is "a battle back and forth between England and France. This had a huge impact on society and politics. It affected society because France and England were at war with each other."
    Friar Dave: here's a case a man BSing just to fill space and repeating himself needlessly
    The Fly: ROFL
    The Fly: Nice!
    Friar Dave: the next three all come from one test
    The Fly: Okay.
    Friar Dave: Lay investiture - This took place in the 12th century.
    Friar Dave: (next answer) Danse Macabre - This took place in the 12th century.
    The Fly: ROFL
    Friar Dave: first is a little right, second not at all
    The Fly: Okay.
    Friar Dave: his next entry on the wall of shame ended up being rather right on eventually, he just had some spelling, grammatical issues getting off the ground:
    Friar Dave: (a few later) Moses Maimonides - A Jewish from Egypt who tried to fit philosophy and Jerlisu--… (WHAT?)
    The Fly: LOL
    Friar Dave: and last at this point deserves a short explanation. the Danse Macabre in real life was a painting or genre of paintings showing the grim reaper coming for folk...rich and poor the same
    Friar Dave: somebody's answer?
    Friar Dave: Danse Macabre - "the dance of death" during the Black Plaque mass groups of people would get together and perform this dance in order to "keep the plaque away. "
    The Fly: LOL
    The Fly: The plaque, eh? So the grim reaper was... A dentist!
    Friar Dave: ok ok
    Friar Dave: so the TA isnt the best speller either
    The Fly: Hehehe
    The Fly: Oh, okay.
    The Fly: YOu meant "plague"?
    Friar Dave: i did mean plague
    The Fly: Okay.
    The Fly: These aren't bad.
    Friar Dave: i agree. the best ive had in a while
    Friar Dave: unfortunately, it makes the overall process rather slow while i mark them down
    The Fly: I bet!

    Friar Dave: update:
    Friar Dave: from the same student: in discussing guilds and how they look after their own, this student described them as "kind of like a medieval mob"
    Friar Dave: and later: Maimonides -- He wrote a book.
    The Fly: Niiiiice.

    Friar Dave: how does this work? Moses Maimonides -- A muslim rabbi

    Friar Dave: from at least 3 people
    The Fly: Wow.
    Friar Dave: Eleanor of Aquitaine - She had 11 children. That's all in know.
    Friar Dave: Lay investiture - Hens would lay eggs and invest them in companies happy to earn a profit.

    Friar Dave: (this is off the top of my head, i didnt write it down): Maimonides -- famous for bringing the ten commandments down from God. Was a hero to the Jews. Become famous for helping the Jews escape from the Romans.

    Friar Dave: my fellow TA's and I have been sharing bad answers
    Friar Dave: here's an email from amy
    Friar Dave: since we are sharing ... (these all came from the same exam)

    guilds: places where one must go to the restroom. the date invented: 1149.

    4th lateran council: the council that came after the third. the meeting was to establish and settle a war. half the men in this council were gay. four had children.

    eleanor of aquitaine: she kicked ass [I gave the student a 1/2 point for that since it's true]. I believe she had a bunch of protesters towards her husband slaughtered in a giant arena. if i'm wrong, then it was another bad ass chick.

    danse macabre: a book

    new men: young men who joined the army who were not of fighting age. it's what happens when your country loses and sucks at fighting. ha, ha.

    For what it's worth, Moses Maimonides was a Jew during the Middle Ages who wrote commentaries on the works of Aristotle, and was largely responsible for the reintroduction of Aristotle's stuff into academia. However, kudos to him for also getting the Ten Commandments from God and helping the Jews escape from the Romans; these accomplishments spanned several millennia, as well as bridging the gap between reality and complete fantasy.

    Fly Report: 16th December 2005

    Good morning. Be sure to maintain your authenticity; in other words, keep it real.

    It's 32° Fahrenheit with light snow and wind in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 19° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

    The average price of oil is $58.56 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.77 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 3. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien and Octopussy and The Living Daylights by Ian Fleming.

    Under a blood red sky, a crowd has gathered in black and white. Arms entwined, the chosen few; the newspapers says, says, say it's true, it's true; and we can break through. Though torn in two, we can be one.

    15 December 2005

    Gone, Like Summer Break is Gone

    I'm headed down to the coffee house for a few hours, to enjoy a pot of Irish Breakfast Tea and work on some letters and some reading. I'm not pheklempt, but I'll leave you with something to discuss, if you so desire: The Penis Mightier is mightier than the pen or the sword.

    "You're sitting on a gold mine, Trebeck!"

    Run amuck, folks. Have at it. Keep on truckin' and all that bollocks.

    A Holiday Delight

    Ladies and gentlemen, do you know what provides me with absolute, sheer delight? Every year, both during his time on TBS and now on Spike TV, James Bond has come into my home during the holidays, from Christmas to New Years Day, during the "007 Days of Christmas". But this year? No, not this year.

    The Eight Days of 007 on Spike TV. Ladies and gentlemen, put a fork in me, I'm done. (Starts 23rd December at a television near you.)

    Greetings from Around the World

    So far, I've gotten three Christmas cards. Now, several people have held back, knowing my feelngs on the issue; however, I can tolerate them, and even appreciate them when they arrive. Here's a rundown of what I've gotten so far.

    Last Thursday or Friday, I got the first one from Big and Mrs. Red. It's a picture card of them at the White House. It says "Rejoice, a King is Born" and "Merry Christmas, God Bless, Mrs. and Big Red".

    The second arrived on Tuesday from the United Kingdom. At first, I wasn't sure who it was from. It turned out that it was from an old man named Bob, whose house I passed every day on my way to work. He's a bachelor and lives with his brother, Jack; you could tell that he didn't get much company, so it was nice to brighten his day with a five minute visit every morning. I've been meaning to find last year's Christmas card from him and write him a letter for a while now, so the timing is great.

    The third came from Pete, one of the guys I worked with in England. Interestingly enough, it came the day after Bob's; Pete lived closer to the office than I did, but he and I shared about half of my route to work, including the portion that included Bob's house. It wasn't uncommon for me to stop at Bob's house, and for Pete to show up while Bob and I were talking before continuing the rest of the walk with me. The interesting thing about Pete is that he's obsessed with the Supermarine Spitfire, the mainstay of the Royal Air Force during World War II. He sent me a couple of pictures from air shows he's been to this year, including at least one of a formation of Spitfires. On the back of the photo, Pete has written what model numbers the various aircraft are.

    I, of course, side with C.S. Lewis/Herodotus on the whole subject of Exmas cards; but it still feels good to get a yearly note from Peter and Bob, and it shows me that Big and Mrs. Red care about what's going on in my life.

    Fly Report: 15th December 2005

    Good morning.

    It's 45° Fahrenheit with rain and wind in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 22° Fahrenheit with partial clouds.

    The average price of oil is $60.26 per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.77 for £1, or £0.56 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 2; Fly slacked off. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien and Octopussy and The Living Daylights by Ian Fleming (which I hope to finish by tonight).

    Red, running red, play for real, the toy could feel a hole in your head. You go in shock, you're spoon-fed.

    14 December 2005

    U2 and the Bible

    If you've got some time, read through some of this to see just how strong the the connection between U2 and the Bible is.

    Fly Report: 14th December 2005

    Good morning. Illigitimi non carborundum.

    It's 50° Fahrenheit with heavy clouds and moderate wind in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 25° Fahrenheit with snow showers.

    The average price of oil is $60.33 (?) per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.77 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 2. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien and Octopussy and The Living Daylights by Ian Fleming.

    Looking for the one, but you know you're somewhere else instead. I want to be the song, be the song that you hear in your head.

    Flawless Cowboy

    I've posted three more pictures of myself when I was younger; two of them from high school, and one of them from when I was a little munchkin. I think that I remember when this picture was taken; I went pretty much from age three or four until age ten between horse rides.

    And, because it's customary, and because she rules, and because she can use a bit of a boost, I'd like to once again thank The Wife for the gift of a premium Flickr account. It rules, and so does she.

    13 December 2005

    Impersonating Manda

    No, I won't be answering the "Twelve Pack in Twelve Minutes Challenge". It's time to whine about work.

    I'm on call this week, having enjoyed a great week off call last week, and having earned some money from that trip up to Metropolis. I went back on call yesterday afternoon at 17:00, and will be on call tonight and most of the weekend. I got a call out this morning at 06:30; not a problem, I was back home around 08:15, and it will increase my gross income by $47 for the month.

    I got a call from one of my co-workers at about 11:15; please keep in mind that I'm not on call from 08:00 to 17:00 today, and that I had made plans last Friday to meet up with Big Red for Chinese buffet at 13:45. My co-worker asked me what I was doing at that moment, and I responded truthfully: at that moment, I wasn't doing anything. He explained the situation: another company from four or five hours away had a vehicle that had broken down in the mountains, and someone was needed to drive about an hour away in order to pick up their parcel and deliver it to its destination. It was time to pay a professional courtesy, and in spite of the fact that I wasn't on call, I had been drafted.

    Now, I hope that Young Nathan is reading this.

    I beat cheeks down to work and got rolling as soon as I could, disgruntled the entire time. I did everything in my power to get up there and back before my lunch appointment with Big Red, but alas, the fog, the idiot Californian, and the rocket scientist mechanics at the garage where I met up with the folks from the other side of the mountain prevented me from doing so. Final parcel delivery time: just before 14:00. Final arrival at the Chinese restaurant: about 14:15.

    I'm on call again at 17:00, which is less than an hour away. Once this is posted, I'll make a head call, take a shower, shave and brush my teeth, and then head down to work to E-Mail more resumes, then down to the coffee shop to work on writing letters and reading. As you all know, I'll need all the overtime I can get this month, so I can't complain too loudly; but this mythical obligation for me to come in and work at a moment's notice when I'm not on call is getting mighty old.

    More later. Oh, and if your name is Manda and you're reading this, the "Twelve Pack in Twelve Minutes Challenge" thing was a joke. We both know you could drink me under the table in spite of the fact that you're half my size. That's talent.

    Deep Thoughts

    One of the finest comedy creations to come out of the 1990's are Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts. Various websites put up anthologies of them; here's one of them. In addition to the one I posted with the Fly Report, I was struck by a couple of others:

    At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.

    And then there's this one...

    As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!

    Ha! And what about this gem?

    Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

    Simply outstanding. Go check 'em out.

    Fly Report: 13th December 2005

    Good morning. If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

    It's 46° Fahrenheit with a chance of showers in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 27° Fahrenheit with afternoon snow.

    The average price of oil is $60.15 (?) per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.77 for £1, or £0.56 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 1, and probably the second chapter to catch up, since Fly slacked off yesterday. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien and Octopussy and The Living Daylights by Ian Fleming.

    You're looking for explanations I don't even understand. If you need someone to blame, throw a rock in the air; you'll hit someone guilty.

    That Broken Fall

    Wow. Just... Wow.

    Regular readers will know that I've had a less-than-stellar couple of months. Some of you will remember that I currently stand to owe the government a ton of money next April. I was coming to believe that my bank account might exceed $4000 by the end of the month, which would allow me to pay off at least most of the tax bill prior to the April due date. Life was going to be good with that monkey off my back.

    Well, it wasn't to be. I got my mobile phone bill today and it was... Painful. I'm not quite sure what the deal was, but apparently I exceeded some limit, and they started nailing me for everything. Unfortunately, more than half of the calls were incoming, so I'm not sure who I should start ignoring calls from; but Wife, I'm looking at you. So, needless to say, my phone usage will be cut back, and I'll be looking forward to finding a job and getting out of this town, and getting a real phone with a real plan, that's not tied in to the office.

    So, once that had been established, I left the house to meet up with the White Knight for lunch. I hadn't seen him since I helped him move back in August; we ate at a Hawaiian restaurant in College City, then went to a chain coffee place, all the while talking about philosophy, politics, literature, and the like. The White Knight went to [Generic University], and is now at [Generic Rival University] doing his master's degree in political science. We have a lot of experiences, values, and background in common, so time with him is always well spent.

    That's most of the interesting bits about my day. Unless I come up with something terribly profound to post this evening, count on a Fly Report and at least one chat transcript tomorrow.

    Oh, and if your name is April, and you're reading this: shame on you.

    12 December 2005

    Run Amuck!

    I've got some things to get accomplished today. Be prepared for a transcript of a philosophical debate from my conversation last night with April, and some hardcore bitching about money when I get back.

    Until then? You guessed it: amuck it up, folks.

    Fly Report: 12th December 2005

    Good morning.

    It's 45° Fahrenheit and partly cloudy with a chance of showers in Kirkwall. In Cody, the forecast calls for a high of 32° Fahrenheit with sunshine.

    The average price of oil is $59.00 (?) per barrel. The exchange rate is $1.76 for £1, or £0.57 for $1.

    Today's Astronomy Picture of the Day is: (Cool)/(Lame)

    Today's scripture reading is Luke 1. The Fly is currently reading The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien and Octopussy and The Living Daylights by Ian Fleming.

    She's the dollars, she's my protection. Yeah she's a promise in the year of election. Oh sister, I can't let you go like a preacher stealing hearts at a traveling show. Here we go: for love or money... And the fever, getting higher; desire...

    11 December 2005

    The Other Three

    This article from The Onion is funny because it's true. The title? "Rest of U2 Perfectly Fine with Africans Starving".

    Blogroll Addition

    I have added Pajama Jihad to the Buddy Blogroll. Folks like Beckstraordinary, Sarah Canuck, and the long-absent Queen Bweka will remember Nathan as a former Vagrant who was, at one point, dating Taletha/Amber Halo. Go check him out.

    Stuff Fly Wants: The Revised List

    I'm trying to get the "Stuff Fly Wants" list to the point of being pretty much comprehensive, though it changes as I buy different things. Here's the latest edition.

    Military Gear

  • British special forces style rucksack (available at Silverman's in London, item number 35116) - £89.99
  • British SAS smock (available at Silverman's in London, item number 35116) - £90.00
  • Tiger Stripe Utilities - $39.90
  • Ka-Bar USMC Fighting Knife - $70.83

    Miscellaneous Clothing

  • Royal Marines T-Shirt - £10.96
  • More Cowbell T-Shirt - $17.99
  • Position Wanted: Pope T-Shirt - $20.00

    Household Items

  • Brita Water Filtration Pitcher - $29.99
  • George Foreman Grill - $59.99
  • Xbox DVD Movie Playback Kit - $29.99
  • Amazing Pasta Maker - $39.95 [click me]
  • Walther PPK
  • Sheep Skin Rug - price unknown

    Books

  • A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess - $13.95 (Amazon price $11.16)
  • On War by Carl von Clausewitz - $26.00 (Amazon price $16.38)

    Entertainment

  • Space Above and Beyond - Complete Series - $41.99 (Amazon price $36.98)
  • Battlestar Galactica - Season One - $59.98 (Amazon price $44.99)
  • On Her Majesty's Secret Service
  • The Island - $29.99 (Amazon price $15.98)
  • The Bourne Supremacy - $19.98 (Amazon price $14.99)
  • Wedding Crashers - $28.98 (Amazon price ($15.98)
  • Switchfoot - Nothing is Sound - $18.99 (Amazon price $13.99)
  • Switchfoot - The Legend of Chin - $11.98*
  • Remy Zero - The Golden Hum - $18.98 (Amazon price $14.99)

    I'm still set for propane, but I still need some propane accessories, 8mm and 9mm ammunition, a wife, a job. I'm not sure why none of you are busy working on that. The Wife, for example, is busy painting as I write this. I mean, come on; what's up with that? What person in their right mind would paint when they could be finding me a job, or a wife, or buying me stuff?

    Oh, yeah. Everyone.

    * When I get this, it will be my third copy of said album since Spring of 1997.